It's been 15 years since Seulgi passed away, and everyday Jongin's heart still broke at the thought of her being gone.

 

He's 40 now, and he feels so old, older than he is, older than he should be. He got so used to her always being there, that when she passed away all that was left was an empty shell and a broken heart.

 

It's been so long, and yet, the house she once loved, the house she spent all her time decorating, was the same.

 

It was as if she never left.

 

Seulgi left her a wonderful gift, one he has treasured and loved and cared for all his life.

 

A daughter.

 

He made sure to always be present for his little princess. He made sure she never felt lonely, and did his best for her in every possible way.

 

He dedicated his whole life for her.

 

Today is special. They were going to visit Seulgi today for her birthday. Jongin was nervous, just like every year, exactly like when they were teenagers.

 

"Here we are."

 

He placed the flowers on the stone in front of him and sat with his legs crossed. Their daughter ran to his direction and sat down beside him in the same position.

 

"Hello, Seulgi."

 

"Hi, Mom!"

 

They both laughed as they gestured for each other to speak first. Jongin took his daughter's hand and told her to speak to Seulgi first. 

 

Everything she did, reminded him of Seulgi. She looks like her, she talks like her, she has her smile, she has her eyes, and it pained him, greatly.

 

He wished Seulgi could've seen her.

 

If she did, she would've loved their daughter just as much as he did. If only he could do something, anything to keep her alive. 

 

Their daughter excused herself from them for a bit to answer her phone. Jongin could only chuckle and nod. His little princess is growing up, and they were now on the subject of boys. 

 

He wasn't against it. On the contrary, he was amused at the way their daughter would hide her phone and come back like someone didn't just walk her home.

 

She was so obvious, but he figured he'd let her have her fun as long as she wasn't hurt or doing anything wrong. One of these days, he'd have to talk to her but for now he just let her be.

 

After all, he and Seulgi used to hide from their parents went they went on dates when they were young. Seeing his daughter do the same, made him feel nostalgic, the kind that made you happy and sad at the same time.

 

"She's is becoming an exact copy of you, Seul. Everyday I see you in her, and it's hard." He spoke.

 

"I miss you, terribly."

 

He hugged both his knees, rested his chin on them, and sighed. 

 

"You should've seen the first time she walked when she was little, she had her arms on her back like she was Naruto or something." Jongin chuckled.

 

He continues to tell her about their daughter and what she did, what she was like, holding in the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes, and the miserable feeling tugging at his heart. 

 

"She likes to draw. I'm telling you, she wakes up and stares at your paintings and asks me how you painted it, and I couldn't answer her because I don't know the first thing about painting. I could only apologize."

 

Jongin absentmindedly grips at the grass beneath his feet and throws them astray in a weird pattern.

 

"When she got her first period, I didn't know what to do. I had to call my sisters to ask because I was panicking seeing all the blood on her bed. I saw her clutching her stomach, and she was so in pain, it reminded me so much of when--when you were pregnant and that thing called spotting.

 

She asked me to do her hair during events. She said she wanted the style you wore in toise albums and I couldn't do it because I don't know how.

 

She asks me what you were like and it makes me wish even more, that you were here with me, with us."

 

Jongin could no longer hold it in, and his tears fell as he caressed the name on the stone.  He couldn't help but feel that if she were still alive, if she were here, she would've known what to do. 

 

"There are still so many things I want to tell you, I want to share with you. You're my best friend, Seulgi. You left a void in my life only you can fill. I still at this parenting thing and I'm sure if you were here you'd know what to do."

 

You make everything else, bearable.

 

"So fear not, Seulgi. Even though I lack as a father in more ways than one, I will make sure our princess is happy. I will make sure she grows up to be kind and that she has a good life."

 

I promise.

 

"So when the time comes, make sure you wait for me in heaven, okay?"

 

I love you, Seulgi. And I can't wait to see you again.