Day twenty-eight.

She waited for him again that night. Same place, always the same time. She was doing the same thing again, listening to the music. Hours passed but he was nowhere to be found. She was getting bored, so she decided to wander around. She peeked on her watch, it was already 3.am but there was no sign of him. Realizing it was too late, she decided to just go back and sleep. Maybe he had something to do. Maybe he was busy. She had it all positive in her head. Maybe she was thinking too much.

She stood up and pulled the door. She then took the flight of stairs down. Her feet arrived on the eighth floor. It was Himchan’s floor. She knew where exactly his unit was. He showed her once and she had already seen the interior of his unit. It was simple, yet clean. He had everything on their places. He cleaned up well. He invited her for a cup of coffee, and then she went home.

She fidgeted in her spot, unsure of what she should do. Either to just go back and forget, or at least try knocking on his door to make sure that he was alright. She chooses the second choice and much to her unawareness, she was already in front of his door. She mustered up all her courage and balled her fist. The door was greeted with her light knock. When she didn’t get any respond from the owner of the unit, she knocked louder. At three in the morning, the knocking sound bounced across the hallway. For five minutes she stayed there, but still no answer from him.

Day twenty-nine.

It was 9.pm and she was watching the 9 o’clock news alone. Her parents were out for a few days for a business trip. She really didn’t care much. It was too early to go to the rooftop. She knew he wouldn’t be there anyway. Not that early at least. As she flipped the magazine on her laps, her mind wandered somewhere else. The television was on, the magazine was in front of her, but she was out of this world. Her mind was on her boyfriend, Kim Himchan. She was worried somehow. There’s no way to get in touch with him. He had no cell phone as he said it would be too bothersome and he didn’t really have any friend to contact and he didn’t have any land line in his unit as well. The only way to contact him was by knocking on his door. Since he didn’t answer that too, last night, she gave up.

Right at that moment, as if her intuition was précised, she darted her head on the television. There was a group of young guys around four people being hand cuffed and brought to the police station with all the cameras and blinking lights. One of the four caught her eyes and he was a blonde. Even with the mosaic blur that they put on his face, she recognized that figure very well. His tall and slender body figure, his slightly pale skin and the biggest evident of the person that she believed it was laid around his wrist. It was the black wristband that he always wore.

 She read the head line under the video. The four of them with the additional of one more person were involved in a gang fight and one of them died. The fight happened last night, while she was waiting for him on the rooftop. If only she knew. She was heartbroken. How could he hide the dark life of his? How could he keep it away from her acknowledgement? How could he betray her trust? Involved in a fight was one thing, being a part of a gang was another thing, and to make it worst, he’s involved in a homicide case. It was not a thing that she could just close her eyes and act as if nothing happened? Never.

She slammed the TV shut and ran to the rooftop. He was probably still being behind the bar but she had nowhere else to go. The suffocation was too much to bear. It was crucial, it was agonizing, and it was killing her inside. Tears involuntarily fell from her eye bags. Once she arrived at the top, she forced the door open with all her might.

Much to her dismay, she was wrong again. He would always be there when she was crying. While he would always come up around midnight, but when there were tears touching the ground, he would always be there but this time, it was different. He didn’t open his arms for her to run and cry into. She too, didn’t have any thought on looking at his face.

Judging by her swollen face, Himchan knew she had been crying and he knew that she was aware of what happening to him. He didn’t want to explain, but he was innocent, and she had to know. She approached her slowly. With every step that he took, it was getting heavier. By the time he was just a few inch away from her, his feet failed on him, so he stopped.

“I’m sorry” Was the first thing that came out from his lips. Softly, he touched her wrist, only to be harshly tugged away from her.

“You didn’t tell me you were one of those people!” She barked. For a month he had been seeing her for every single night, she had never raise her voice on him. He was used to being barked at, to being screamed at, and he was used to being insult at. It was a part of his life. Being in a gang, insults and being beaten half to death was already a part of him. His face was dull and empty. No sign of life.

“Those disgusting people?” At last, a smirk crept on his lips. “Yes, I was a part of them” He calmly said.

“Why did you hide it from me?” She demanded an answer.

“Because I was disgusted with that part of my life” It took him less than a second to answer her.

All she could do was to stare at his face. It was calm and somehow she could feel the honesty on his face.

“It was not a choice, it was a need” His voice was shaky. “My parents left me with a mountain of debt. I was 15 and there was no other option. I work for them, they give me a place to live, debt paid” He continued.

“Can’t you just leave them and start anew? You’re not a kid anymore” She was no longer shouting like before. It sounded like a plead now. She so desperately wanted him to leave all the dark life of his behind. She closed the distance between them, snaking her arms from his behind and buckled her hands on his abs.

“I’m trying, but it’s not working” He turned around and pulled her in his arms. He rested his chin on the tip of her head.

Day fifty-four.

It was roughly around 2.am and the two lovebirds were nowhere near their sleep. Himchan was lying on the rough concreted ground and he let her rest her head on his chest while both of them threw their gazes over the open night sky. Not many stars were around since they were living in the middle of busy city. It’s almost impossible to stargazing where they were, but there were still a few stars playing hide and seek as the couple playfully playing with each other.

She stretched her hand towards the sky as if she was trying to grasp one of the stars. Himchan caught her hand by stretching his own. With that, their fingers intertwined in front of them. It was the stars who were watching them instead. Himchan would steal a peck the tip of her head once in a while. He was happy.

“I got it” She suddenly said.

“Hmm?” He hummed. His eyes were fixed on their laced fingers.

“I got to Seoul National University. Law study” She grinned.

Himchan darted up from his position, forcing her up as well since her head was on top of his chest. He had this pleasant smile on his face. It was her favorite sight on earth.

“Congratulation!” He abruptly threw his arms around her frame. Right after that, planted a soft kiss on her thin lips. It was sweet and gentle, just like her first time. “I’m so proud of you” He ruffled her hair.