Kyuhyun woke up to a slightly sore back and hushed voices coming from the kitchen. He laid there confused for a few seconds. It wasn’t often he woke up in an unfamiliar place, but last night’s events came back to the front of his mind and Kyuhyun remembered why he was on Sungmin’s couch. He began to sit up and was about to head over to the kitchen for his promised breakfast until he heard his name come from one of the voices.

“I don’t think we should let him leave, Minnie.”

“It’s his choice. We can’t really do anything about it.”

“Can’t you convince him to stay here a little longer? I don’t trust Siwon. I just know he’s going to hurt Kyuhyun even worse than last night. Making him feel guilty about something that wasn’t even his fault is emotional abuse, Sungmin. How long until it gets physical?”

“Saejin, I know you’re worried, but Kyuhyun isn’t as fragile as you think. He knows what he’s doing and as much as I hate to take him back to that , I have to respect his choice.”

“It’s a stupid choice.”

“I know, but like I said, we can’t do anything about it. We’ll just have to stay back and be ready to support him and help him when he needs us. Kyu will be fine, Jinnie. Trust me.”

There were a few more protests from Saejin until she just gave up and trusted Sungmin’s judgment. Kyuhyun could hear the stove being and pots being grabbed from the cabinets. The couple began to talk about more light hearted things and Kyuhyun decided it was best to just lay there for a while more, give them some time to talk to each other without intruding.

He couldn’t let go of what Saejin had said though. Was Siwon really abusing him? Would it really turn physical if he let it continue? Kyuhyun had never considered anything Siwon did as abusive, maybe a little unkind, but never abusive. She had to be wrong, Saejin had a habit of over exaggerating and this was just one of the times she used it. Abuse was being beaten and Siwon had never laid a hand on him. Even if Saejin had said it was emotional abuse, Kyuhyun couldn’t find anything to validate that. Siwon was simply brazen and didn’t keep anything to himself.

But what if she was right?

Kyuhyun could feel the panic steadily rising and settling in. Visualizations of Siwon hitting him, kicking him, yelling at him flashed through Kyuhyun’s mind like a forewarning. He couldn’t go home to Siwon now knowing this could very well be their future.

The nausea came with unmerciful vengeance and Kyuhyun raced to their bathroom, emptying the contents of his stomach into their toilet. He was lightheaded and trembling, sobbing even though he felt as if he were being choked. His heart raced at an alarming rhythm when desperate knocks on the door could be heard. His name was called with worry, but Kyuhyun found himself unable to respond. He was too afraid, completely convinced that Siwon was behind the door waiting to hurt him.

“Kyuhyun, are you alright? What’s wrong?” Sungmin called through the door, signaling at Saejin to find the key. Kyuhyun had managed to lock himself in and the harshness of his sobs were alarming the couple. “It’s me Sungmin. Unlock the door, Kyuhyun.”

Kyuhyun crawled away from the toilet and fit himself into a tight corner between the sinks and a wall. The spot made him feel nearly safe, offering no possible ways for someone to hurt him. He continued to shake and cry, still feeling like someone was smothering him. Kyuhyun tried to convince himself that he was being ridiculous, that all of it was in his head, but it was futile. He blocked out all sound from outside of the bathroom door and tried to breath.

Saejin came running back to Sungmin’s side, handing him the keys and bouncing worriedly in her spot. Sungmin frantically tried to get the key to open the door and nearly cried with relief when it opened. He sent Saejin off to get a glass of water for Kyuhyun and told her to wait outside. More people would just make Kyuhyun feel worse.

“Kyuhyun?” He asked softly, not wanting to alarm the younger. Sungmin could see Kyuhyun shuddering in the corner, a look of pure panic settled on his face. Sungmin raced over to him, taking one of Kyuhyun’s hands into his own gently. “Hey, it’s alright. I’m here now. Chill out.”

Kyuhyun flinched at the contact and tried to pull his hand away from Sungmin. The older held on tighter, trying to pull Kyuhyun back to reality. This wasn’t the first time he’s seen Kyuhyun have a panic attack, but this was the first time he’d been witness to one so severe.  Sungmin wondered if Siwon really was at fault for all of this.

“Everything is fine, Kyuhyun. Breathe. It’s just me and you, nobody’s going to hurt you here.”

The younger shook his head, still trying to pull away from Sungmin. He sobbed out something unintelligible and curled further into himself. Sungmin released his hand and placed his own hands on Kyuhyun’s cheeks. Kyuhyun thrashed around, begging Sungmin not to hurt him and desperately trying to get Sungmin’s hands off of him only to be held down.

“Kyuhyun.” Sungmin said sternly, “Look at me.”

He refused, shutting his eyes closed. Sungmin pulled Kyuhyun’s face so they were facing each other, waiting patiently for the other to open his eyes.

“Open your eyes, Kyuhyun. You’re fine. It’s just me. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Kyuhyun finally opened his eyes, shining with tears and wide with fear. His tears were ceaseless as he stared back into Sungmin’s caring eyes, breathing slowly returning to normal.

“See? I told you everything was fine.” Sungmin tried to smile, but he was sure it came off awkwardly. “Stop crying, Kyuhyun. You’re alright, just calm down. Saejin and I can’t have you passing out on us right now. She’ll freak out and a freaked out Jinnie is not very fun.”

Sungmin ran his fingers through Kyuhyun’s hair lightly, knowing the younger was similar to a cat in that some gentle petting would almost instantly soothe him. Kyuhyun leaned his head into the soft touches, sniffling and wiping away his tears. Saejin came in with a glass of water for Kyuhyun, letting them know she was leaving for her class. Her face was filled with nothing but concern as she gently ran her hand across Kyuhyun’s cheek. Kyuhyun tried to smile at her, but it was much too watery for her to be mollified.

“Call me if you need anything.” Saejin said, kissing both of the men on their cheeks, “I mean it. Anything.”

“I got it. Bye Jinnie. Love you!” Sungmin called from the bathroom floor.

The front door shut and Sungmin turned all of his attention back to Kyuhyun. He seemed to be okay now, not a sobbing, terrified mess at least. Sungmin was cautious as he pulled his hand out of Kyuhyun’s messy hair and looked the younger in the eyes again, searching for any sign of panic. All he found was exhaustion and…fear? He chose not to ask about now, it’d be best for Kyuhyun to just calm down for a while until Sungmin grilled him for answers.

“Come on, Kyu. Let’s eat some breakfast. Jinnie made some pancakes for you.” He stood up and grabbed Kyuhyun’s hands, pulling him up to his feet.

Kyuhyun shuffled after Sungmin slowly, still a little lightheaded. He really wasn’t up to eating, but he figured it would just be easier to appease Sungmin and take a few bites out of the pancakes. Saejin’s cooking was delicious anyways, so it wasn’t too much of a bother. Kyuhyun sat down at the kitchen table and poked at the pancakes, taking miniscule bites and trying not to meet Sungmin’s eyes. The older stared at him, concerned and curious.

“Don’t eat if you’re not up to it, Kyu. You won’t hurt anyone’s feelings.” Sungmin smiled at him softly, taking Kyuhyun’s plate and putting it in the microwave for later. Kyuhyun looked at him guiltily, but didn’t say anything, opting to rest his head in his arms instead. “Maybe you should get some more sleep.”

“No. I’d only have nightmares.” Kyuhyun sighs, lifting his head slightly so only his eyes were looking up at Sungmin. “Do you think Saejin is right?” He asks, near tears again.

“Is that why you freaked out? You heard us talking?” Sungmin frowned and pursed his lips in thought, “I’m not sure, Kyuhyun. I used to think Siwon was the most gentle person on the planet, but now that I know what’s been going on…I don’t know how I should feel about him.” Kyuhyun sighed and put his head back inside his arms. Sungmin pulled his chair closer to Kyuhyun and began to run his hands through the younger’s hair again, “Tell me honestly, Kyu. Do you think Saejin is right?”

“I don’t know. He’s never hit me or anything, but I never considered that he was being emotionally abusive. I feel like I’m seeing him in a completely different light now. I feel like I don’t even know him anymore.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay here for a couple more days? I know I said it was your decision, but I don’t think you’re ready to deal with Siwon right now.”

“It’d just be easier to get it over and done with. Besides,” Kyuhyun said, looking to Sungmin with a small smile on his lips, “you have to work later and I’m worried Saejin might over baby me if you’re not here to protect me.

Sungmin chuckled, “I’d probably walk in on her swaddling you.”

They both laughed at the image of tiny Saejin trying to wrap Kyuhyun, who was significantly larger than her, in a blanket and carry him around the house like a baby. Sungmin digressed the conversation into much lighter topics. He talked about his job as an elementary choir teacher and how adorable some of his kids were, Saejin had started shadowing some psychiatrists at mental hospitals and was coming home with stories of patients that intrigued her to no end, but left Sungmin terrified.

If Kyuhyun were being honest, he was jealous of their happy life. He wanted to be able to come home to Siwon and tell him interesting stories about commissions and have Siwon tell him about the books he was writing. Kyuhyun didn’t even know what kind of books Siwon wrote, he’d never been allowed to breathe on them, much less read them. His boyfriend could be writing a for all he knew.

“Jinnie’s been saying we need to go on a vacation soon. I was thinking about Paris. It just seems like a place she’d fall in love with.”

“Siwon and I are going to Barbados soon. Well, we were. I don’t know if we’re going after all of this,” Kyuhyun flailed his arms around, “happened. I was really looking forward to it.” He pouted.

“Actually, that’d be great for the both of you! A chance to get away from this place and just forget about everything’s that’s happened. You guys have to go. It’d probably rekindle all of your feelings for each other. You’d come back happy and in love, maybe you’d finally get married.” Sungmin said the last word with raised eyebrows, winking at Kyuhyun.

“You’re ridiculous.” Kyuhyun shook his head,  “I’ll talk about it with Siwon tonight.”

“Saejin’s going to be jealous. Now I really do have to take her somewhere.”

“I think she’d love Paris. You might want to save up though, she’ll end up buying the entire city.”

“That girl and her shopping addiction, I swear. We’re going to end up in the streets because of her. How are we going to raise a child if she’s constantly spending our money on shoes?” Sungmin whined.

“A child? You guys want a baby?” Kyuhyun’s eyes were wide as saucers at the thought.

“Eventually, yes. At this point, it’s either we make one or she steals you from Siwon for herself. I wasn’t kidding about her swaddling you. I had to stop her from doing it this morning.” Sungmin shook his head this time, “Why do you sound so shocked?”

“No reason, except the fact that the Lee Sungmin I knew swore that he would never have a baby.”

*

Siwon paced back and forth in the living room, nearly burning a line across the floor. He had yet to sleep, just the idea of it seemed ridiculous to him when he had no idea where Kyuhyun even was. How could he sleep when there was a possibility the love of his life was in danger? Kyuhyun would’ve called him paranoid had he found out. Maybe Siwon was paranoid, but he had good reason to be. At least, he believed he did.

He checked his phone a million and twelve times before finally giving in around noon and just calling Kyuhyun. If his boyfriend took any longer to get home, Siwon would probably go into hysterics.

The phone rang twice before going straight to voicemail. Kyuhyun had ignored him. Siwon called three more times and decided to just text him instead.

To: kyudarling<3

Why aren’t you answering me? Are you coming home yet? Please come home already, Kyu. I miss you. I'm sorry.

He really was sorry and wanted nothing more than to apologize to Kyuhyun face to face. Siwon knew what happened back then wasn’t entirely Kyuhyun’s fault, he had his own part in it too, but Siwon couldn’t help but feel cheated whenever he thought of it.

Another man touching his Kyuhyun. Kissing him.

Siwon didn’t think he could ever get over it.

From: kyudarling<3

I’ll be there soon.

Unfortunately, soon wasn’t soon enough for Siwon. He knew bothering the younger again would just result in more fighting though, so he decided to just sit on the floor and try to calm himself down. At times like these, Siwon speculated if he had a case of anxiety too. The idea was always quickly shot down when he remembered each of Kyuhyun’s attacks. What Siwon had could easily be described as a bout of nerves mixed in with guilt and to even begin to compare it with Kyuhyun’s anxiety would be plain wrong.

Siwon laid himself out on the floor and gathered that this was Kyuhyun’s spot. He looked towards his desk and wondered what Kyuhyun thought about when he lied there and sketched. They’d spent years in this room together, but never actually together. Siwon wouldn’t often just write for hours on end, ignoring anything the younger did or said. He couldn’t even remember when the last time Kyuhyun had shown him any of works was. He didn’t really blame Kyuhyun though. Siwon had never even let Kyuhyun within an inch of his papers, claiming them to be personal and none of Kyuhyun’s business. It was no wonder Kyuhyun had stopped showing him anything.

A knock out on the door brought him out of reveries and up onto his feet in a matter of milliseconds. He raced to the door, smoothed out his hair and clothing, and opened the door. Siwon tried to put on his best puppy face to try and soften Kyuhyun up, but the expression fell when he saw who stood in front of him.

“Sungmin? It’s been ages! What are you doing here all of a sudden?” Siwon gestured for Sungmin to come in and moved out of the way, closing the door behind him and follow the shorter man into the kitchen.

Sungmin took it upon himself to take a seat on a chair and motion for Siwon to sit across from him. His face was blank as Siwon approached, but the aura he was giving off was nothing short of fuming.

“Is something wrong?” Siwon asked.

“There is something very wrong, Siwon.” Sungmin huffed and decided to just spill everything out onto the table right then and there, “I know what happened between you and Kyuhyun. I have him sitting in my car right now freaking out in the backseat because he has the impression that you’re going to hurt him. Mind telling me why that’s become such a huge concern for him?”

“I…I have no idea. We just had an argument, Sungmin. It wasn’t anything serious—“

Sungmin cut him off, “Obviously it was very serious if he’s acting like this. I’m not bringing him up here until you give me one good reason to do so.”

“You just left him by himself?! You can’t do that, Sungmin! What if he hurts himself?! Are you insane?!” Siwon stood up from the table and was already turning the door knob when Sungmin grabbed him harshly and pulled him back to the table.

“He’s fine. Your neighbour is out there with him. If you want him back,” Sungmin eyed him with disdain, “you’ll give me that one good reason.”

“One reason to let him come back home? Where he belongs?!” Siwon nearly threw Sungmin off of him, but relented. That would only upset Kyuhyun further. He huffed angrily, “Because I love him with my entire being, Sungmin. That should be a good enough reason. I love him and I know I messed up, but I want to fix this. Please,” Siwon said dejectedly, “just let me go get him. Kibum won’t know what to do. He can’t just keep freaking out, Min! He’ll pass out. Did he even take his medicine?”

Sungmin looked him over, searching for any sign that Siwon was lying. Eventually, and much to Siwon’s annoyance, he conceded.

“It’s not one of the serious ones. You lucked out and got to miss that one.” Sungmin led Siwon down the stairs knowing that the elevator would take too long. “If I ever have to come back here under these circumstances again, Siwon, I will not hesitate to severely hurt you.”

“I was being stupid. I tried to apologize, but he just kept running from me.” Siwon explained, hopping down stairs three at a time and trying to go into full blown panic himself. He needed to keep his cool in these situations. Both of them freaking out wouldn’t be any help for either of them.

Whatever Sungmin had to say was ignored once Siwon caught sight of a very distressed Key by a black car. Siwon ran towards it and pushed Key out of the way harshly, not even bothering to apologize. Their neighbour probably had something to say, but Siwon disregarded everyone that wasn’t Kyuhyun at that point.

He opened the car door and found a mildly panicked Kyuhyun, gasping for air and staring at him with absolute horror in his eyes. Siwon vowed to never cause Kyuhyun to make that expression ever again. He’d never seen anything more heart breaking in his life – besides Kyuhyun running away from him.

“Baby,” Siwon whispered, bending over so he could hold Kyuhyun in his arms. “What’s wrong, baby?”

Kyuhyun didn’t answer him, choosing to just hold Siwon tighter. He couldn’t even remember why he’d been panicking before now that he was in Siwon’s arms. Kyuhyun felt safe, at home. The older used one hand to comb through Kyuhyun’s messy hair and felt the younger relax in his arms immediately.

“Come on, let’s go back inside.” He released Kyuhyun hesitantly and scanned him over, making sure he hadn’t been hurt while Siwon hadn’t been with him.

Siwon pressed a sweet kiss to the corner of Kyuhyun’s mouth and ran his hand down the younger’s cheek softly. He pulled him out of the car and right back into his arms, letting Kyuhyun bury his face into the crook of his neck.

“Thank you, Sungmin.” Siwon said, hands going back to petting a slightly trembling Kyuhyun. “For taking care of him for me. You won’t have to deal with anything like this ever again, I swear.”

Sungmin nodded, giving him a harsh glare just for good measure. He turned to talk to their neighbour, probably explaining what had just happened. Siwon was thankful for that, he didn’t need Key snooping around and bothering them.

Siwon pulled Kyuhyun into the lobby elevator, glad that it was empty for once. He pulled away from the younger just a fraction and looked him over once more. Kyuhyun stared up at him with his doe eyes and a slight, melancholy smile playing on his pouty lips. Siwon kissed him then, slowly and delicately, trying to pour every word of apology he wanted to say, would say, into it. Kyuhyun responded eagerly, a tear or two escaping from his eyes and sliding down his cheek. He assured Siwon that they were just left over from earlier and were mostly happy.

They both knew that they had to discuss some very serious things once they’d reached their apartment, but for those few minutes in their rickety elevator, Siwon was content to have Kyuhyun safe and back in his arms and Kyuhyun was happy to be there.

I updated this pretty quickly...sort of. Either way it didn't take three months so I'm proud of myself!

Hopefully it flows well because I just started typing my little heart away in the middle of it, praying it'd come out alright.

Oh! I don't think I linked this in the last one, but here's a little snippet of a flashback to how WonKyu's relationship started. (X)

Thank you for reading!

Comment if you wish! ♥