Kyuhyun lay on the floor, his pencil and drawing pad long forgotten as he stared at Siwon. The older male was hunched over his desk, hands rapidly scrawling along the lined paper. It was almost hypnotizing, watching Siwon write. There was a sense of calm about it, a certain je ne sais quoi.

The younger sat up, flicking too long, caramel coloured hair out of his eyes so he could look at Siwon without it obscuring his vision. Siwon groaned and threw his pen against the wall. It rebounded and landed near Kyuhyun’s feet. Kyuhyun flinched away from it and rose to his feet immediately, prepared to back away if the older decided to throw more things. After a few minutes, he cautiously made his way over to Siwon.

“What’s wrong?” Kyuhyun asked, his voice soft and attentive. He was slightly wary of the other, knowing he would definitely lash out if he was in foul mood.

That was the thing about Siwon. He was always in a mood. Sometimes he would the most pleasant person on the planet and Kyuhyun treasured those days more than anything. Other times, he’d be the most rotten person. He was extremely unnerving those days and Kyuhyun would avoid him as much as possible.  Kyuhyun was a very skittish person; he suffered from severe anxiety and things like that left him feeling panicky and ill. The worst possible scenarios would often play out in his head in times like these; Siwon yelling at him, hitting him, killing him. He knew it was stupid, Siwon had never laid a hand on him with cruel intention, but the possibility of any of those things happening would always haunt him.

Siwon turned to look at him, gaze piercing. Kyuhyun’s hands immediately went to the hem of his shirt, fiddling with the already frayed edges from months of worrying at it. It was a bad habit he’d picked up back when he was a kid after watching his aunt do it often when she was anxious. He ducked his head slightly and looked up at Siwon with his big, round, honey brown eyes. Siwon beckoned him to come close, a far off look now in his cold eyes. Kyuhyun obliged, taking small, hesitant steps to him. Once he was close enough, the older pulled him onto his lap and wrapped his strong arms around him.

Kyuhyun sighed into his neck, though he wasn’t sure if it was more from relief or content. The older ran a tender hand through his long hair, twirling the ends at the nape of his neck. Kyuhyun shuddered at the feeling, goose bumps instantly covering his skin.

“What’s wrong?” He repeated softly.

“Nothing. Nothing to worry about at least, I’m just frustrated.” Siwon replied.

The older pulled Kyuhyun closer to him, rubbing slow circles into the younger’s hips. He brought a hand up to Kyuhyun’s cheek and caressed it gently, as if he were the most delicate thing on the planet. Kyuhyun leaned into the touch, thoroughly enjoying the feeling. He had to hold in a purr of satisfaction when Siwon began to place tentative kisses to his neck.

“Are you sure?” Kyuhyun breathed, his hands coming up to fist at Siwon’s shirt.

Siwon hummed in a reassuring manner, “I’m positive.”

“Let’s go to bed.” Kyuhyun suggested, already trying to disentangle himself from Siwon. The older man’s grip on him tightened, keeping Kyuhyun in his spot. Kyuhyun looked at him questioningly.

“Can we just stay like this? Just for a little while?”

Kyuhyun consented and cuddled closer to him, wrapping his thin arms around the older’s neck. Siwon pressed a soft kiss to his temple and trailed more down the side of his face, finally landing on Kyuhyun’s lush, full lips. The younger smiled fondly and responded eagerly to Siwon’s persistent lips, sighing at the feeling of them. He could never quite get over how well their lips melded together, like a pair of matching puzzle pieces. It was like Siwon was made just for him, every curve of their bodies corresponded, not a mismatched arc was to be found. He loved the feeling of Siwon against him, the warmness and security he radiated. Nobody else could make him feel this way.

“What did you do today?” Siwon murmured, pulling only centimetres away from Kyuhyun’s lips.

“Not much, just finished a sketch for class.  I tried to work with water colours for a while, too.” Kyuhyun responded.

“I bet it came out exquisitely. You should show it to me later.”

The younger nodded, trying to keep in a hum of consummation because of Siwon’s ceaseless fingers running through his hair. He knew Siwon only said that because he was trying not to be rude. The older never held an interest in art; he preferred his writing over everything else. The sentiment was nice though. Siwon didn’t have to pretend for Kyuhyun, but he did anyways just to make sure the younger’s feelings weren’t hurt. That trait was something Kyuhyun had always appreciated, though he wished Siwon would at least try to gain even a sliver of interest in Kyuhyun’s art at least.

After what felt like an ideal eternity, Siwon lifted Kyuhyun up and carried him to their bedroom. Kyuhyun protested; he was too old and heavy to be babied like this, though his whining didn’t help prove that notion. Siwon ignored his objecting until they’d reached the door of their room and gently placed him on his feet. Kyuhyun huffed light-heartedly and opened the door, immediately scampering off to the closet to pick out something more suited for sleeping. Siwon followed suit, poking Kyuhyun in the ribs when he removed his shirt.

Kyuhyun squirmed and squealed with every touch, his skin extremely sensitive and aware to each of Siwon’s prods and caresses.

“Siwon quit it!” Kyuhyun choked out after a particularly ticklish round of poking, “I can’t breathe!”

Siwon laughed, his eyes crinkling at the sides in the way Kyuhyun loved, “Fine, fine.”

He led the younger to the bed, palm pressed softly into his lower back. Kyuhyun didn’t protest; only let himself be guided to their sleeping place. He laid himself down on the left side of the bed and waited for Siwon to situate himself before curling up into his side. The older man wrapped a weary arm around him and rubbed his hand up and down Kyuhyun’s back. Kyuhyun almost immediately drifted into a peaceful state of half awake and half asleep.

As much as he tried to revel in the feeling of Siwon’s arms holding him securely and the warmth of their thick blankets, he couldn’t help but feel that something was slightly off. Knowing it would linger at the front of his mind and prevent him from falling asleep if he didn’t ask; Kyuhyun opened his eyes and stared right into Siwon’s own.

“There’s something wrong, isn’t there? Just tell me before it gets worse.” Kyuhyun said half muffled due to the side of his face being buried snugly into his pillow.

Siwon’s eyes harden, “I told you not to worry about it.”

“I can’t help it,” Kyuhyun shrinks back and wriggles out of Siwon’s arms, “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I told you I was.” Siwon snaps, “Go to sleep.”

Siwon turned so his back was facing Kyuhyun with a huff of annoyance. Kyuhyun just stared at him; he hadn’t meant to anger the other. He was just worried about him and wanted to help. The older was always so stressed with his writing and Kyuhyun would do anything to ease the burden. He knew the life of an author was an arduous one and Siwon wasn’t one to lay his problems on someone else’s shoulder, but Kyuhyun wished he would. Just once, at least.

“I’m sorry,” Kyuhyun whispers and scoots towards Siwon, “I love you.”

He presses a kiss onto Siwon’s shoulder blade and cuddles up to his back, keeping his hands to himself in case Siwon decided he didn’t want to hold him tonight. He hears the older man sigh in submission and smiles to himself when he turns around to pull him close.

“Don’t be sorry.” Siwon mumbles into his hair, “I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you for that.”

“It’s alright. I understand. You don’t have to apologize.”

Siwon pecks Kyuhyun’s temple, “I love you, Kyuhyunnie. More than you could ever imagine.”

Kyuhyun wants to disagree with that, though he’s not sure if it’s because he most definitely loves Siwon more than Siwon loves him or because he thinks it’s a lie. He stays quiet instead and lets sleep cloud his mind.

Chapter 1 and I'm sort of liking where this is going. I promise not to royally mess this up this time! Give me strength!

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