Situation where Kibum is studying acting abroad (meaning Siwon gets his own room), Hangeng is still in Suju, and Shindong is in a relationship with Nari (not living in Suju dorm).

Siwon POV

~DANCE PRACTICE~

“Yah! Siwonnie, you’re doing that step all wrong!” Eunhyuk, ever the perfectionist, and never the quiet one, stomped over to me and showed off his own abilities. Even though I was probably supposed to be watching what I was supposed to have done, I couldn’t help but ogle. Hey, it was a thing between all our band members. With the exception of Shindong and maybe me, everyone was gay. Well, kind of. Probably biual, since I’ve caught some of them drooling over women before. They were all dating another member of the band, which made me laugh like crazy at the most random (and usually inappropriate) times. I expected God to be okay with gays and bis though, so I never said anything.

“SIWONNIE! ANYONE HOME?!”

“Huh? What?” I tuned in just to catch the other members bursting out laughing while Eunhyuk was just standing there looking offended, with his hands on his hips.

“YAH! DID YOU SEE ANYTHING I JUST DID??” Apparently not.

“Uhh…”

Just then, manager hyung entered the dance studio. Saved by the bell! Or, well… oh, you know what I mean!

“Yah, listen up! I’ve cancelled your schedules for the next three days! You can go home now.” Whaaa??

Only Eunhyuk, who was still in his put-off state, was brave enough to question manager hyung. “Wait, why?” He still sounded kind of scared though…

“You dare question me! Do you want it or not?? If not then we can always go back to your regular schedules, and if that’s not enough, I can always add more.” That was manager hyung for you: old, fat, balding, and more evil than Kyu (and getting more so every day).

We all pounced on Eunhyuk then. “N-no!! W-we’re good! Thanks! We’ll be, uh, dragging Eunhyuk out now.” We all hurriedly stampeded out of the studio – even so, manager hyung was following us.

“One last thing, ladies!” Yeah, as if he were a man himself. More like one of those, you know, komodo dragons… But I digress.

“Y-yes?” we all chorused, afraid that what Eunhyuk had asked earlier had really gotten through to him and that he would be cancelling our much-needed break at the last second.

“Cho Kyuhyun, have you been staying up all night playing your video games again?” We all breathed a sigh of relief, in sync.

Before Kyu could answer, though, Sungmin chimed in, “Yes manager hyung, and it’s keeping me awake at night too!” I could see Kyu leaning over to whisper in Minnie’s ear then, probably something along the lines of, “Oh bunny, you are so going to get it tonight.” I could also visibly see Sungmin’s gulp. At least Kyu won’t be playing video games tonight though. But Minnie still wouldn’t be getting any sleep either way.

Manager hyung interrupted our little “attempt to get away” scene though. “Yah! You guys need more sleep! We can’t have our perfect little idols with three feet bags under their eyes now, can we! Anyways, enjoy your break! I’ll see you back here in three days, at 6am sharp. Have a nice day, ladies!” And with that, he strolled off, leaving us to…

Well, leaving me to attempt to all the other couples while they attempt to block my ing… if that makes any sense.

The ride back to the dorm wasn’t very long, but sitting in between Eunhyuk and Donghae made me want to die. I was proud at being able to snag the seat between the two, but as soon as the car van limo started moving, I nearly gagged. The fact that I was the “known Eunhae er” just made everything ten billion times worse.

When we finally finally finally etc etc etc got to the dorm, we all filed to our respective rooms one by one couple by couple: Kyumin (I could already see Kyu was having a hard time controlling his and poor Minnie’s terrified expression), Hanchul (looked like someone was having a little fun in the limo), Kangteuk (sometimes I felt sorry for Leeteuk hyung, as Kangin hyung was the strongest and insisted on topping… yeah), Yewook (they were the “innocent couple”, but really, they were the loudest in bed – you understand why, right?), and finally Eunhae (which proved difficult for them as I was in the middle, hehe).

Of course, I was left all alone once again.

So, what to do tonight to piss off all the other couples?

I could feel one hell of a devious plan forming.

~DINNERTIME~

I managed not to burst out laughing or start gagging or insist on running away when all throughout dinner the couples were doing all sorts of lovey-dovey stuff. I usually couldn’t handle it, but today, I had a nice little surprise for all of them. Though I had to admit, Wookie was such an amazing cook that sometimes for a moment I could pretend that I wasn’t the only single one in the group at the moment. Yup, I had to admit that I was destined to be forever alone.

~“BEDTIME”~

Finally, it was about time to carry out my plan. I listlessly flipped through the channels on TV until everyone else had gone to “bed”. Well, with the exception of Yewook and Kangteuk.

Yesung was fussing over Ryeowook, who was fussing over the remnants of dinner (okay, I admit that we’re all pigs). Even so, they were still able to create an air of “lovey-dovey, forever alone people, don’t come near us”. Soon after Wookie was finished clearing the table and random bits of food on the floor, the Yewook couple also retreated to their room. I could almost hear their screams and moans already.

Kangin and Leeteuk, being the appa and umma, were finally finished fussing over all the other members. Yawning (well, only Leeteuk was; Kangin looked like he had something brewing in his mind), they were about to enter their own room when Leeteuk spotted me sitting on the couch having an affair with the television, probably looking miserable and lonely.

Not that I was about to admit it.

“Yah, Siwonnie, not tired yet?” I will admit, though, that Leeteuk was an amazing umma.

“Nah… besides, we get to sleep in tomorrow, so I don’t have to crash early tonight.” I gave him one of my convincing smiles, but of course with all his umma powers, he saw right through me.

Leeteuk sat down on the couch beside me and put his arm around my shoulders. Although I’m sure everyone would realize it was nothing more than brotherly (or motherly, however you want to look at it), I could still feel Kangin’s heated gaze boring into me. It was kind of uncomfortable, but then Leeteuk started talking.

“Don’t worry, Siwonnie, you’ll find your someone someday. Besides, have you decided whether you’re straight or bi or gay or what? You’re really sending some mixed signals and I think that’s why you’re still the lonely one.” He let out a light chuckle, and I immediately felt better.

I think he noticed Kangin’s molten stare as well though. He soon let go of me and told me to get some sleep, then as soon as he stood up, I saw Kangin swoop over, snatch Leeteuk up, and carry him bridal style to their room.

Like I said, poor Leeteuk. Looks like he was in for it tonight as well.

Siwon’s plan starts now! I couldn’t help but let out an evil chuckle. It was covered by the moans already, though. Thank goodness too.

~TEN MINUTES LATER~

I had amassed everything I needed. Okay, so it wasn’t that genius of a plan, but I WAS BORED!

And besides, it was always beyond hilarious playing jokes on the other members while they were… doing their own thing. Trust me, only I would know.

First I approached the Hanchul room. Usually I couldn’t bring myself to do this at all because of course it always inevitably reminded me that I really needed to find a girl (or guy), but I was extremely excited today. They were probably going to be pissed but I didn’t care; it’s not like we had a schedule or anything.

I pulled out a sticky note that said “Heechul hyung you should let Hangeng hyung top sometime. I thought you were the Cinderella in you guys’ relationship :3” and stuck it on the door.

Next was Kyumin: “Kyu, stop abusing poor Minnie. I could have you turned in for !” (A/N: I don’t know how to spell it and Word says it’s wrong, but it’s like molesting animals or something)

Then Yewook: “Just cause you guys have two of the best voices in the band doesn’t mean you’re allowed to wake up half of the world that’s not nocturnal every night x.x”

Kangteuk, our beautiful parents: “I love you very much appa and umma, but maybe appa could try sweet and gentle once in a while…? PLEASE??!”

And finally Eunhae, my favorite couple to because I swear, they went at it whenever they could. It was a ual frustration problem they had with each other. Not that they cared or anything. Nothing ever stopped them, not even cameras. I shuddered. “The day that you guys don’t even look at each other like that even once is the day I will get pregnant!” Wow, I was really cheesy with that one.

When I was finished, I retreated to my room and jumped on my bed without even bothering to take a shower. I’ll do that tomor—

Zzz…

~THE NEXT MORNING~

*yawn* Oh , I overslept! WHY DIDN’T ANYONE WAKE ME UP?? ARE THEY REALLY THAT HEARTLESS??!

Oh wait… we have three days off… YES! I snuggled back into my sheets, just to be woken up by suspicious giggling and footsteps outside my door. I tiptoed out of bed, donned a robe of some sort from Kibummie’s gigantic wardrobe (what? I like stealing other people’s clothes), and walked over to my door.

When I tried opening it, though, the door wouldn’t budge. At all. I didn’t see how that was possible, as it was only supposed to be lockable from the inside. I even checked the lock, thinking that maybe in my haste to pass out last night I had locked it, but it was unlocked and I could even turn the knob! Therefore the only conclusion I could draw was that the other members had blocked my door with… I don’t even know what.

Sometimes I wished that my door would open in instead of out.

Then I remembered.

My door did open in.

I think the pressure is seriously getting to me.

So I pulled the door open, the right way this time, and I was promptly buried under a ginormous pile of… stuff.

The first thing I saw was a sticky note from Eunhae, and I knew that this was probably payback for what I did yesterday. But come on! It wasn’t that bad or evil now, was it?

The sticky note said “You know, Siwonnie, we can do it without looking at each other! Really! Wanna watch? :3” and it was attached to a long rectangular box… I really didn’t want to find out what was in the box.

The second thing I found, which was dangerously close to somewhere that was, well, dangerous, was another box and another sticky note. This time it was from Kangteuk: “Actually I can’t because Leeteuk is too yummy YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW!!!”

I opened the box this time (because maybe appa and umma wouldn’t be that naughty… right?), and immediately felt my gag reflex acting up. I was wrong.

The third sticky note was from Hanchul: “Oh poor Siwonnie, want to join us?” The box attached to it was awkwardly shaped, and I didn’t even… just, no, okay? There is a reason why Hanchul is infamous for being… Hanchul. Nuff said.

Fourth was Yewook: “You’re just jealous. If you want, we can give you singing lessons? Or would you rather get lessons, hmm? ;)” Oh god, I’m going to hurl. I was elated to find no box connected to the note until…

A box that clearly screamed “FROM YEWOOK!” But-but-but… Yewook can’t be THAT bad right? RIGHT? AHH!!!

I left it alone.

And last (or I hoped it was last) was Kyumin: “Yah! My bunny likes it! Don’t you Minnie, hmm?” When I squinted, there was a tiny no yes written on the edge of the paper. I sighed.

I guess Kyumin was so caught up in their… thing that they didn’t even bother to wrap their little… thing.

I ran to my bathroom and locked myself in there for the rest of the day.

…

Okay that was a lie. I locked myself in there till Ryeowook broke in and dragged me out, insisting that I needed to eat breakfast.

I envy Shindong…

I think I’m traumatized. I can’t live with these people.

Word Count: 2,195

A/N: Agh… this is really bad haha. I had expected to finish it last night but then I kinda lost inspiration… AND THEN I FOUND BIGBANG’S NEW SONG AND I WAS LIKE OMO and so I finished it today ^^ (while listening to it nonstop, of course). Anyways, I’ll try to update Myungjong fic tonight and this again tomorrow~ So for now you have to deal with my horrible storylines hehe~ Saranghae <3