Yunho sat in his car. He fingers tapped anxiously on the steering wheel. He took a breath but felt so terribly nervous. It’s been nearly three weeks since that night at Siwon’s club. 

He had someone track Jaejoong’s whereabouts. He didn’t want to ask Siwon because he didn’t want the other to get suspicious. He had found that Jaejoong had worked two jobs and this job wasn’t far from his home. Yunho parked on the opposite side of the street. 

Finally Jaejoong came out. He was dressed only in jeans and a tank top. He looked up and down the street. It was empty. He dug through his pockets and pulled out a cigarette. He lit it and puffed on it. He looked tired as he stretched. 

Jaejoong looked up and down the street once more before he started off down the street. 

Yunho left his car and jogged to catch up to his old friend. He called after him and Jaejoong instantly stopped to look behind. He sighed and turned away. Yunho finally caught up to him. 

“Jaejoong?” Yunho walked beside him. “Do you need a ride?” He asked. 

“No.” He continued to walk. 

“Then can I take you for some coffee or food?” He asked. 

“No.” Jaejoong waved off Yunho. 

“Please can I just talk to you.” Yunho took his arm. 

Jaejoong extinguished the cigarette and pulled his arm from Yunho. “No. How did…” he sighed and rolled his eyes. “You hired someone to find me didn’t you?”

“I couldn’t ask Siwon.” Yunho whispered. 

“Why not?” The tank top wearing guy smirked. “Are you afraid he will know you’re one of my kind?” 

“You’re kind?” Yunho looked confused. 

“The last time we spoke that is what you called me. You said you didn’t want people to think you were my kind.” Jaejoong shook his head. “You said enough that night. You don’t need to say anymore.” 

“That night was a mistake. Please just give me five minutes.” Yunho pleaded. 

“I wasted enough of my time with you. Just let it go. You’re getting married. It’s in the past. Nothing needs to be discussed or talked about.” Jaejoong continued on his way. 

“I need to talk about it.” Yunho took his arm again. 

Jaejoong pulled his arm away. “Stop grabbing me. You have someone. I have someone. Let’s stay on our own sides.”

“But you don’t keep them long. Isn’t that right? You go through them like underwear. A new pair everyday right?” Yunho said with just a tiny bit of disdain. 

Jaejoong turned to his old friend. “Don’t you think you caused enough pain? Go back to your kind and stay the hell away from me!” He turned again and tried to leave. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” Yunho saw the hurt in the other’s eyes. 

“Yet you still said it. Just like that night. Sorry isn’t an eraser. Go away and keep your spies away from me. I won’t hesitate to hit you next time you grab me like that.” Jaejoong turned away. 

“If you believe those words that night. Then do you still believe what I said before that night?” Yunho tried desperately to keep Jaejoong’s attention. “I said those words too and I meant them.”

Jaejoong took a breath. “Hate spoils love.” He left him standing there. 

Yunho was defeated. Seven long years he was away and now he has to pay for it. His absence wasn’t by choice but it was by force. However it was his comfort that kept him there. All the while Jaejoong was left to suffer. 

He returned to his car. He had no other choice. He returned home to his fiancé. He had already rented them an apartment and had it furnished before they came back. They still have property in America and haven’t fully moved. 

He sat alone in their bedroom while he stared out the huge window. The sun was setting over the city. He felt exhausted as old wounds came to the surface. He knows what he did and he knows he can’t undo it. Still the guilt weighs especially heavy on him. 

“Yunho.” He heard the soft voice of his fiancé. “I’ve been calling you. Are you alright?” A look of concern covered her face. 

Yunho smiled. “Yeah. I’m fine. I just had a busy day. I’m going to have a shower.” He got up and went to the shower. 

The sun had set and Jaejoong went to the only place he could find peace from his exhausting day. His body ached from his last job. He opened the door to the roof of his building. 

The sound of car horns and traffic polluted the silent night. He pulled another cigarette from his pocket and retrieved a lighter from another. He lit his cigarette and took the first drag of that cigarette. A calmness spread throughout his body but Yunho’s image replayed in his head. He felt pained in his heart. He took another drag when he felt a lump grow in his throat. 

No! I can’t just let you just come back. There is no place for you in my life. Stop it. Stop it. 

Jaejoong laid down in the cold concrete so he could stare into the sea of stars. He tried to think of anything but Yunho, his old friend, his first love. 

“I was so stupid.” He whispered to himself. “Argh!” His vision blurred with tears. 

He closed his eyes and tried to fight the pain that had awakened within him. The tears fell anyway. 

“He hates you. He hates you. He used you. Why are you thinking about him?” He asked to the quiet night sky. 

He recalled those words that burned into his mind. 

“I don’t want to see you anymore. Being with you was a mistake. I don’t want people to think I’m one of your kind. You were good to play with but I want a family and a wife. You can’t give me that.” Young Yunho turned from him. 

“But you said you loved me. You said you will never leave me.” Young Jaejoong was confused. 

“I wanted to and you were close and easy. I didn’t have to say much to get you to lie down with me.” Young Yunho didn’t even turn to face him. 

“You were my best friend! You know me better than anyone else. Why would you say this to me?” Young Jaejoong felt his heart break. “Yunho?” The first tears fell and Jaejoong went to grab Yunho's arm. 

“Don’t touch me! I am not like you! I don’t want to be your friend anymore. Stay away from me.” Yunho left. 

Young Jaejoong legs could not hold him any more. He kneeled to the ground and sobbed on the ground like a child. 

Jaejoong shook his head at the memory. He can’t go back to that depression again. He must stay away from Yunho because no good would come of it. Nothing ever good can come to someone who loves as he loves. 

Jaejoong scoffed. He sat up as he finished the last of his cigarette. 

“Love?” Jaejoong stood up and went to the edge of the rooftop. He flicked his extinguished cigarette over the edge. “There is no love anymore.” He wiped away the fallen tears and left the rooftop.