WENDY

Wow, it has been a long time, since I finally went out. How long you might ask?

Well, I’m in my fifties now.

I have retired from all the work I did when I was young. 

Today, I’m here, walking through a very familiar forest. 

I used to live here, with my sister, Yeri. 

I don’t always see her, maybe I’ve seen her for like, two or three times after she joined the hunt?

It’s so funny, she didn’t even age. Her face remains to be exactly the same way I remember it to be. 

A few more minutes of waiting, and I finally reached Taeyeon’s grave. And of course, waiting for me there, was a long time friend of mine. 

Kang Seulgi. 

“What took you so long, Wendy? You’re arthritis acting up?”

“Shut up, Seul. Like you’re any older.”

Seulgi just scoffs, then proceeds to sit beside me, resting our backs on the tombstone. 

“It has been a very long time, Wendy. A very long time.”

Looking up the night sky, I slowly digested everything Seulgi wanted to say with just that one phrase. 

How we got old, had wrinkles, joked about our joints hurting. 

Years after the last time we met, (and by we, you know who I am talking about, right?) I was in a tropical forest somewhere in Southeast Asia, and came across Joy who said she was on a secret mission. Turns out, she was actually on a vacation with her girlfriend, Seulgi. 

Me? I never  engaged in a relationship. I never married. (Because I am a loyal wan lol). I decided to live at Camp, tend to the warrior unicorns they have in there. A young demigod, a daughter of Demeter, once came here (a long time ago) and armed these unicorns with weapons, and even sharpened their horns. They came handy in a battle against an army of a former Roman emperor. But that’s a different story. 

The two have also retired from their legion, but they still serve as advisors, and anytime the camp needs their help, they’ll be there. 

“Wendy.”

“Yeah?”

Seulgi looks me directly in the eye, before she finally speaks again.

“You know I am not the type to mind somebody else’s business, or annoying people just because I am curious about something. But, there’s been one thing I have been dying to ask you for years. And since it seems like we’re nearing the end of our lifeline, I don’t think my soul can rest in peace if I never asked you this question when I was alive.”

I just smile at Seulgi, I know what she’s been dying to ask, and I’ve been wondering myself why she hasn’t asked this question yet, after all these years?

“You and that goddess. What really happened? I mean, all I know was that you met her that day Tiffany unnie sent you to school. And I ran into Yeri once, while hunting. She mentioned that you saw her one last time in your veterinary clinic. And then… what? You never saw each other again?”

Before I answer Seul, I gathered all my thoughts, thinking how and where to begin. We have all the time we need for a story anyway. 

“She visited me in my clinic, holding a very fluffy white bunny.  Everytime I remember that day, it was very cute. She said it would be weird if she went into a pet clinic without a pet.” Ah. That memory still  makes me smile after all these years.

“And then, she asked me why I was doing all those things. Being a vet, being part of that organization and such. But then, I can see it for myself, that she partially knows why. She just wanted to hear it from me. Or wait, maybe she was just wanting an excuse to see me that time?” 

“Oh my gods Wen, you realize it just now? How dense can you get?”

“Stop teasing me, let me get back to my story. So, yeah. Anyway, I told her the reason why. I told her the truth. You know it, right?”

“Of course. I still have all your letters, just so you know. When you conveniently left out the information that she actually visited you after graduation.”

“I’m sorry, okay. And then, that night, I saw her, waiting in front of my house. She told me we can’t see each other again. That that moment would be the last time we would be seeing each other. And then that’s it. She… she left.”

One moment I was reminiscing, even feeling nostalgic. But when I recall the words she told me, a wave of melancholy curses through my body. These words are so precious to me, I suddenly felt selfish and can’t share this with my best friend.

I wish I had the choice to just drop all of the responsibilities that I have, and just live with you

I wish I could be beside you all the time.

I wish I could grow old with you.

These lines… These lines were engraved deep in my heart. Thinking of it makes me long for her more, even if I have accepted the fact that we can never be what I wanted us to be. 

And that’s fine by me. At least, I experienced what love feels like. Even for a short period of time. No regrets there. 

“Got lost down memory lane?”

“Oh, sorry. Was I spacing out?”

“Yeah… Wendy, what was the last thing you said, before she left?”

I looked at Seulgi, then I looked up at the sky. The moon shines so bright tonight.

“The moon looks beautiful tonight, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, yeah it does, but you’re not answering my question, Wendy.”

“No, no, that’s what I told her.”

Seulgi looks so confused, I better explain before this bear explodes or malfunctions.

“You see, ever since I was little, before I even met Taeyeon or Yeri, I loved stargazing. And specifically, I loved looking at the night sky especially when the moon shines bright.”

“Yeah, I noticed that too, when you first came to live with us. You constantly sneak out just to go stargazing. You always go home late at night, from this grave.”

 “Someone from the shelter I came from noticed it as well, and she approached me, and she said:  the moon looks beautiful tonight. I looked at her, and happily said yes. She laughed, and told me that from where she came from, people used to confess their love to someone by telling them that phrase. Well of course, back then, I was too young to understand what she said, but for some reasons, I never forgot that phrase.”

“Wow. Well then it fits, right? You confessing to her poetically like that, and her being the goddess of the moon as well? Was that the reason you chose to say those lines?”

“You know… at that moment, it felt like it was the right thing to say. Since I know it would be our final goodbye, and deep inside, I know that it would probably be the last time I would see her face again. I want to leave my life with no regrets, you know.”

“I understand… I can’t imagine how it would have been if I never confessed to Joy back then.”

“Wait, what?! All these years, I thought it was Joy who confessed to you. You never seemed to be the type to do the first move when it comes to such things…”

Seulgi just playfully feigns a pained look, and very dramatically looks at me, placing her hand over her chest, right above where her heart is.

“It hurts, right here Wendy. How dare you think it was Joy who’s the top of our relationship.”

“, Kang Seulgi! TMI! Oh gods I don’t need to know that!”

Our laughter filled the silence of this grave. When we finally calmed down, Seulgi asked another question.

“I’m still curious tho. Where did that woman come from?”

“Since when have you been this curious, Seul? You remind me of Yeri. Hahaha. Anyway, I did think about it, so I did my own research. That phrase was from Japan.

Some people says it was from a mistranslation from someone back in the day, while most of the Japanese I talked to when my past job brought me there, said that  in the late 1800s to early 1900s, the Japanese were more reserved, hesitating to express their love or feelings to the one they loved. 

That’s why back then, lovers would say that phrase while they were together under the night sky. When the moon and the stars were all shining brightly in the sky. They say that while looking up, so  as to avoid eye contact since they were shy.”

“Wow. That was even before we were born, Wendy. Do you remember how old  that woman from the shelter was?”

“No, she’s not that old back then. She’s pretty young, in her late 20s I suppose? Maybe she heard it from her grandparents or something.”

“Well then, did she say how the Japanese back then replied when asked if the moon was beautiful that night?”

“The woman didn’t, but I found out about it when I was in Japan. A novelist suggested a poetic  response would be to say that ‘I can die  happy’. You can interpret it however you want, that’s the beauty of expressing your feelings poetically.

 But to me, I think that response means you acknowledge the other person’s feelings, and you can die happy because your own feelings were being reciprocated as well. To die happy means to die without regrets and living life to the fullest, wasn’t it?”

And that was what her response was, that last night I saw her.

“And? Was that what she told you back then?”

“I’ll leave that to your imagination Kang.”

“Wha-?Why don’t you just tell me what it was?!”

Before she could even force out an answer from me, her phone rang, indicating Joy was already waiting for Seulgi, and made us realize we’ve been hanging out for a long while.

The sky has gotten really dark and the night breeze has become too cold for our skin, we both decided to get back to camp. Where Joy is waiting for Seulgi, and a blessing of unicorns is waiting for me.