Chapter 1: <span class='smalltext text--lighter'>Comment on <a href='/story/view/1458001/1'>The Night It All Started</a></span>
Hum. Your writing is pleasant to read, the pictures inserted give some more insights for readers unknowing NCT members and avoid too much description. The 2 main characters are well introduced and portrayed.



However something is missing as the other readers have already commented on it. But you dont need to expand it to another full chapter if you dont need, want or have time to do so. Just a short paragraph of 2 or 3 sentences could be enough.

Whenever it is for the end of a chapter or a one shot an ended paragraph is needed. If you want to continue it then a cliffhanger one or a thought of the main character summarizing what happen in the chapter or what she hopes will happen next, a morality, a statement of how she feels for example.



If You want that story to remain a one shot you need to end it more clearly. Think of what was the purpose of this story, the thematic, what you wanted to convey, the morality: nostalgy? Family support? Impact of socializing,? Then you have to conclude about it at the end of you story.



Otherwise, We readers, are lost because we dont quite understand what was the purpose of the story and your goal since it was not entirely developed.

I have read your foreword about the will to clear your mind but in this case your attempt made my own mind fairly lost, unsatisfied yet interested about potential outcomes.



So I will not upvote this time because I think it is an incomplete work needing some arrangement or completion before deserving it even if I trully want to encourage you because it was agreeable to read it in the form.

Chapter 1: Ah, this story was cute and good. I was a bit sad at how abruptly it ended. If you do plan on making this longer than a oneshot then please let me know! Overall, it was really good and nice to read.

Chapter 1: Thanks for a small and cute story!!

Chapter 1: The story was quite nice I wont deny that but I really need to say it is that the block of paragraph was a bit hard to read. You can have one idea and several bits of supporting evidence within a single paragraph. You can also have several points in a single paragraph as long as they relate to the overall topic of the paragraph.

I am sorry I know I might sound annoying but big paragraph may make many readers to just not to read it.

Chapter 1: It was very well written and cute... I wish it were longer though...
Please keep writing from now on... Lots of love 💚

Chapter 1: This is so good for a first try at fanfiction! I actually kind of wish it was longer than 1 chapter :D