R5. I Love You

Summary:  Taeyeon believes there's nothing that can't be learn. It just takes practice and effort to master it.

Characters: TaeNy, YOU (Guess who's that.)

A/N:

Hi, readers! :) This is M.H dorkytaenganger aka dorky, the co-author that nerdie mentioned in the previous chap, if any of you notice that.

Nerdie told me the story request is getting out of hand. She's very popular i see xD so! I as a kind-hearted friend i am, said yes to her when she asked me to be a co-author to help her writing these requests.

I just hope i won't disappoint her. And most importantly, i hope i won't disappoint any reader here because nerdie's style of writing and mine are not the same.

K, i'll stop talking now. Please just read the story and comment about your thoughts later! ;)

***

BEGIN.

“Taetae..” I felt a soft tap on my shoulder. 

“Huh?”

She chuckled and poked my nose with her index finger.

“You were spacing out again, love.” She softly said. A kind of gentle-affectionate tone that she always uses whenever she speaks to me. Only to me.

“A-ah? Sorry.” I smiled apologetically at her.

“Nah, it’s okay. Because you still looked adorable.” She smiles, showing her beautiful eye-smile. And I smiled back at her, almost automatically. 

And that’s one of the reasons why I love her.

Because she always says, “It’s okay.”

Even when it’s not. 

I always know that it’s not.

It was never okay.

But how can I tell her that when she smiles so brightly at me, always trying to be positive and optimistic about everything. 

I almost said ‘Thank you’, but I stopped myself. Because I know she’ll frown at that. So instead, I say,

“Tiffany..” I softly called out and she hummed in response. “I love you,” I said without missing a beat, almost as if it has been rehearsed.

And she smiles so wide, her eyes vanish as they turn into crescents. She lunged herself forward towards me, and I readily caught her in my embrace. 

“I love you too, Taetae. I really do.” She whispered against my shoulder.

“I know,” I whispered back as I raised my left hand to caress her smooth black hair.

‘This is perfect.’ I tell myself.

It feels right to have Tiffany in my arms. Hugging her tight against my body. Kissing her head, her cheeks, her chin, her lips. To tell her ‘I love you’.

And I have you to thank.

Because you were the one who pushed me, encouraging me to give Tiffany a chance.

Even when I was still madly in love with you. But you didn’t know that. And neither did she. 

And I would like to keep it that way. 

It’s best for everyone. 

*flashback*

“She loves you, right?” You asked me one day on the phone. We were having our usual late-night heart-to-heart talk.

A late-night here, but early morning in your place. 

When we were younger, we would call it ‘girls talk’. But now we’re both no longer a girl. 

“She does,” I said.

“Yeah, even though I haven't met her, blame this distance, but from all of the stories you told me, I can tell that she’s being serious with you. She really cares for you. And.. she seems perfect for you.”

“I know.” 

“Then why not give it a try? Why do you still sound hesitant?”

“Because I’m still not sure about my feelings. Yes, I like her company, I feel comfortable to be around her. She’s a very kind and understanding person. She’s pretty, she’s sweet, smart, reliable, she has a stable job with a very promising future, she loves and wants kids just like me. And.. she loves me.” I paused to take a breath because I was speaking so fast without even realizing it.

And here comes the but. 

“But.. I can't say that I feel the same with her. It’s scary because it feels like she’s running, while I'm still crawling, unsurely taking my baby steps. Love doesn’t work that way, I believe? Both have to be on the same page. And I don’t want to give her a false hope either, y’know. I don’t want to hurt her. She’s a good person. Too good.” I sighed. 

“So, will you tell her to stop? Because you’re still not sure with everything? Are you ready to lose her?”

“No. I know I’m being unfair to her and so selfish, but I’m afraid to let go. What if after I let her go, I will regret it in the future. She’s like a perfect someone for me. She’s like the answer to my prayers. But I don’t know why the ing feelings aren’t there yet! It’s so frustrating! I really want to love her in the way she loves me, I swear! I tried everything I could. But I still can’t! What should I do?! What’s wrong with me?!”

“Then don’t let her go.” You simply said. You paused and gave me some time to catch my breath. And when you can no longer hear my ragged breaths, you continue,

“Keep her. Maybe you just need more time. Some people can fall in love fast, while some will need more time. And that’s okay. Everyone has their own time. So don’t beat yourself too much for being a bit slow. There’s nothing wrong with you being slow. Maybe one day you’ll finally learn how to love her in the same way she loves you. Just give it a try. So in the future, you won’t keep thinking about what-if. So you won’t regret it for not trying.” You calmly said. Wise as always. Convincing as always.

And so I believed it. 

“Yeah, you’re right. You’re always right. Thanks for this pep talk. I really need it.”

“Anytime, love. My little Taengoo hwaiting!”

“Psh, you’re the one to talk. Our height is almost the same, princess!”

“But I’m still taller than you!”

“Yeah yeah… like 2cm? Very tall indeed."

“Yah! Do you wanna die?!”

And we both laughed.

God, how I love your laugh.

How I love you. 

***

I asked Tiffany out for a romantic dinner one time.

We’ve been in an ambiguous relationship for more than 3 months now. And I’m the one to blame.

Because actually Tiffany already stated it clearly, that she wanted to be in a serious relationship with me. About how she really cares for me. About how she really loves me. 

But I asked her for some time. Saying I still need time to see whether I really want this relationship or not. Saying I’m worried about our pace that seems a bit too fast. Also giving her a lame excuse about being scared to fall in love again after my last relationship. And some other bull that I threw at her. 

She’s smart. I know she won’t buy it. But she’s patient and understanding. So she waits.

But I think I’ve made her suffer enough with all of these uncertainties. 

So tonight, I’ll end her waiting time. I’ll do something that I think is right.

“Do you like the food?” I asked her. 

She looked up to me. Her eyes are sparkling and her smile is blinding. God, she’s so pretty.

“Yes, Tae. I really like it. Thanks for bringing me here.” She cheerfully said, looking so happy. I’m glad that she is.

“Nah, thank you for wanting to come here with me,” I said with a smile. I reached out to hold her hand. And once I did, I brought her hand to my lips to kiss it.

She shyly smiled at that. How cute. Both of us are in our 30s, yet she still gets easily flustered with this kind of simple gesture. 

We chatted for some more, about works, about our friends and families, and also some stupid-funny stories about each other’s childhood. 

“Tiffany, I need to go to the toilet. I’ll be right back, okay?” I told her as I wiped my mouth with the napkin.

“Oh, okay.” She smiles at me and her eyes never leave me until I can no longer be seen from her sight.

When I walked back toward our table, I saw Tiffany was busy re-applying her makeup, fixing it. So I stopped not too far from our table and kept watching her.

And I think she can feel someone is staring at her. So she looked up and was surprised to see me. A blush crept onto her face.

I smiled teasingly at her.

She was shy for being caught fixing her makeup, for me. 

So I stretched out my hand toward her from where I stand.

She looked at me, confused at first. Before she pointed at herself and mouthed, “Me? T