Kyungsoo called in sick the next morning. "You're going to have to cover his ORs." Dr. Park ordered.

"He's avoiding me." I thought. I was given additional work because of his absence, but I least I got a kiss last night. Go figure.

But what did that kiss...mean? It sure meant something to me, but did it mean something for Kyungsoo?

"Hey, you ok?" I texted Kyungsoo after finishing the morning's operations. "Really bad hangover. Sorry you had to cover for me." Kyungsoo replied.

"Should I call him? No, he's probably too hungover to talk properly. Does he even remember the kiss?" I desperately wanted to know but did not want to push too hard.

I lay on my bunk bed clutching my phone to my chest.

"What if?" Just thinking about it made my heart race.

The boy I liked during the entirety of med school...the boy I still like...likes me back? 

I think about all the times in med school where Kyungsoo made my heart flutter. My favorite times were when he would act for the annual class performance. Every year he would join, and every year our class would win Best Performance all because of him. Every year he would make me melt into a puddle of feelings.

It's still you, Kyungsoo. It's always been you.

Do you feel the same way?

I was on my day off the next day. Kyungsoo was the one at work. It seems that the universe did not want us to meet.

"I should go see him." I thought to myself. Here I go again.

"But what if he's too busy? I might be a distraction...What if he doesn't want to talk about it? What if he forgot he kissed me?" I was pacing in my apartment.

I decided to spend the day cleaning my apartment top to bottom, watching variety shows, and studying. But all I could think about was the kiss.

That damn kiss. Why did he have to kiss me?

It's 6 PM. Maybe he'll have dinner first before scrubbing in tonight's ORs. "Hey! How's work?" I text Kyungsoo in hopes of sparking a conversation.

6:30 PM. No reply.

7 PM. Still nothing. "He's too busy, Jongin..." I lay down on my sofa feeling defeated.

Please let me know, Kyungsoo. Just let me know.

But what good would it mean if he confessed? If I confessed? Are we going to date? What are people going to say? Are they going to fire us? What if we break up in the middle of residency?

"Someone might leave the hospital..." Maybe I was a tad bit overthinking. Just a smidge.

I want to, but I don't. I push, then I pull back.

Love is, and always will be, a gamble.

Love versus career. The eternal problem for most doctors.

"Is asking for both too much? Am I being too greedy?" I am, once again, having an existensial crisis.

We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

I was back at work the next day. I returned to the call room for lunch after seeing outpatients in the morning with Dr. Gong.

Kyungsoo was there. "Finally!" I accidentally said out loud.

"What do you mean?" Kyungsoo's eyes widened. Those damn big eyes.

"Um, uh..." What now, Jongin? "Uh...nothing! I mean finally it's lunch time!" Inner Jongin just made a facepalm.

"Yeah...lunch." Kyungsoo seemed weirded out.

"Uh...do you want to eat with me?" I asked.

"Sure." The reply seemed forced.

Lunch was awkward. Kyungsoo and I knew something was up.

"Is...something wrong?" I asked Kyungsoo. He was fiddling with vegetables with his fork.

"Jongin, I...I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry." Kyungsoo shifted his gaze towards me.

I felt a knot in my stomach. He shouldn't be sorry.

"No, Kyungsoo...don't worry about that...I..." it. "Look, Kyungsoo...I..."

*BEEP BEEP BEEP* Kyungsoo's pager went off.

"It's an emergency OR. Talk to you later?" Kyungsoo grabbed his white coat and ran off.

You know that feeling when you feel the urge to sneeze but can't? It kinda felt that way.

I go back to the call room and throw myself on my bunk.

"Maybe...maybe I shouldn't confess." The sudden page was probably a sign from the universe.

I started making a mental list of the pros and cons of dating Kyungsoo.

"Well, obvious pro, I get to date my dream guy." Maybe that fact itself was enough.

"Cons...well, dating a co-worker probably isn't a good idea...but, it's Kyungsoo..." I bury my face into my pillow.

"Jeez, Jongin. You don't even know if Kyungsoo likes you back..." I say to myself, sighing.

"Well, he did kiss me...on the lips. And he said he loved me. But he was drunk..." The way I'm agonizing about this makes me feel like a teenager again. "Doh Kyungsoo!! Why do you make me feel like this?!"

They say drunken words are sober thoughts.

I woke up to the sound of the door opening. I hadn't realized that I'd fallen asleep.

"Hey, it's 7 PM. You're on call tonight." It was Kyungsoo.

"Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. I'll get dressed." I get up and go to the bathroom to put on my scrubs.

I'd already put on my scrub pants when I felt something on my chest. My heart was beating fast. "This is it. I need to tell him. I'm going to tell him."

I storm out of the bathroom. Kyungsoo was startled.

"Doh Kyungsoo! Look, you remember what happened that night, right? I just wanted to let you know...that you don't have to apologize...You don't have to say sorry. Because..." I was rambling.

"Because I like you Kyungsoo. I've liked you since med school. Be with me, Kyungsoo! There, I said it. Holy , I said it." I had to catch my breath.

Kyungsoo was just staring at me. He gulped so hard I saw his Adam's Apple bobbing. "Jongin...please wear something on top..." he said looking away from me.

Holy , I forgot to put on my scrub top. "I'm sorry...uh...one second." I go back to the bathroom and hurriedly put on the piece of clothing.

"Let's...sit down." Kyungsoo said.

It was an awkward five minutes before someone said something.

"Jongin, I...I can't give you an answer yet. Everything's going so fast..."

"I'm sorry it was so sudden, Kyungsoo." I became embarassed, but I guess the heart wants what it wants.

"No, don't worry about it. I...just can't give you an answer yet." Kyungsoo couldn't look at me.

*BEEP BEEP BEEP* It was my pager this time. "I have to go..." I left Kyungsoo in the call room, who still looked distraught after I confessed my feelings for him half .

Saved by the bell. Or should I say saved by the pager?

I put on my white coat while walking. "Well, the cat's out of the bag now." I tell myself. It feels like a big weight has gotten off my chest, but now I have to wait for an answer.

The emergency craniotomy finished around midnight. I go back to the call room.

Kyungsoo was lying on the top bunk, facing the wall. He seemed asleep. I sat on a chair so as to not acidentally fall asleep again.

"Hey, I don't know if you'll hear this, but...maybe you'll consider?" I say in a low voice to the top bunk.

"You're a really amazing guy. I mean, you're nice to everyone. You're nice to me. Like, really nice. You're an angel." I wish he wasn't hearing this sappiness. "You're a great cook...a great actor...remember when we had class performances in med school? You were always the one I was looking forward to watch. Every year! And if ever we date...I'm sure the people here will be okay about it...don't worry. We'll figure out the logistics."

Before I spill out any more of my feelings, I get paged again. "Ugh, I just sat down..." Such is life in residency. I gulp down a glass of water and make my way out.

"I love you too...Kyungsoo." I whisper before closing the door.

You're the risk I'm willing to take.

Page after page after page after page. A in the ER, then another emergency craniotomy, then someone coded in the wards, then I was asked to do FIVE lumbar taps. I was literally running around the hospital. They don't call interns the "foot soldiers of medicine" for nothing.

Before I knew it, it was almost 9 AM. My shift was supposed to end at 7.

I took the elevator with Dr. Park. I was working with her during the night.

"Great job tonight, Jongin." she said, barely keeping her eyes open. I was on the verge of collapsing too.

"You too, Dr. Park. I think I'm gonna sleep here first before heading home." I suddenly thought of something. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot." She was leaning on a corner of the elevator with her eyes closed.

"Say you confessed your feelings for someone, and you want them to be your significant other. But they tell you that they can't give you an answer yet. What would you do?" I wasn't sure why I was asking Dr. Park this. Maybe I just wanted to tell someone.

She suddenly stood up and opened her eyes. "Are we talking about someone in particular?" Did she know something?

"Uh, no...not really." I said nervously.

"Hmm. We're neurosurgeons, we don't deal with matters of the heart. But to answer your question...you wait. That's the most logical thing to do." It was a cold but confident answer.

"I see..." She's right.

"Well, that is, if that person is worth the wait of course. If that person isn't worth waiting for, then you probably shouldn't have confessed in the first place."

Kyungsoo is worth the wait. He is. "Thanks, Dr. Park. You always know what to say."

"They didn't make me chief resident for nothing. See ya!" We went our separate ways.

I felt like a zombie entering the call room. There was something on the table. I check it out hoping it's food.

I was a plate covered with another plate. There was a post-it note that said, "To Jongin. You did great today. From Kyungsoo."

Holy .

I uncover the plate.

On it was an omelette, with something...written on it. With ketchup.

"I like you too."

I guess I didn't have to wait any longer.