Silence.

I didn’t know how to act. A few minutes after I felt his lips against mine, Jennie had thrown his coat to the ground and haughtily walked away. I had felt his breath against my face and could hear my heart in my ears before he was the one who drew away—his face straight. He drew a breath and his eyes met mine.

“Finally, you’re quiet,” he murmured, dropping down to retrieve his coat. I blinked, taken aback.

Maybe… Maybe it wasn’t a big deal in Exodus. Maybe people do kiss each other out of the blue to shut other people up. I swear I have seen Chanyeol almost kiss Baekhyun every time he talked too much. I shivered, looking around. I was out of my mind, my face numb and my feet not functioning.

“Here,” Sehun said and I stopped when I saw that he had already walked down the road and was waiting for me to catch up.

I stepped forward, walking towards him. I had sobered up after the kiss and I wanted to ask him what his deal was, but I knew that it may not be worth talking about. Sehun walked beside me and I felt the cool breeze hit my face. He didn’t seem fazed and that irked me.

“Walk straight, will you?” He asked me and I glared at him. First, he puts his lips against mine and now he’s ordering me around? “You’ll get hit by a horse.”

I realized that he meant car and I side-stepped to the sidewalk. Silence again. How awkward. The silence was so uncomfortable that it made me squirm.

“You know; on Earth, kisses are a big deal,” I began and sneaked a peek at him. His expression didn’t change, his walking relaxed.

“I know,” he answered and I waited for him to say more but he didn’t, his eyes focused to the front.

“If I tell Wooseung, he’ll kill you,” I said again, and Sehun flickered his eyes onto me.

“If you think it’s worth telling, then go ahead.”

So, it really wasn’t a big deal in Exodus, I realized. No wonder he was so nonchalant about it. I my lips nervously, shoving my hands into my coat. I turned to him and saw that he seemed tired, the dark shadows under his eyes were starting to show. I found myself wondering if he got to sleep last night, turning my face and taking in his features that were highlighted by the street lamp.

“Ong Harin,” he said and I jumped at his voice. “Stare at me more and I’ll think you’re in love with me.”

“Then I guess I’m in love with everyone,” I answered. “I’ll miss everyone,” I muttered under my breath, closing my eyes briefly when the world seemed to spin for a while. I opened them again to adjust my eyesight just to see Sehun looking at me, his eyebrows furrowed.

“What?” I asked him, reaching up to touch my face in case something was stuck on it and he shook his head, going back to walking.

“You’re speaking as if you’re never coming back to SM,” he voiced and I didn’t reply, knowing that it was best not to say anything. “Is it because you’re scared of my father?”

“I’m convinced your father will kill me, yes,” I agreed and Sehun surprisingly let out a chuckle. “That’s not funny, Oh Sehun.”

“My father wouldn’t hurt a fly, Gaian,” he said to me and I rolled my eyes. We were nearing the house now and I applauded Sehun for his sense of direction. I at directions and was often lost, every drinking night one of my friends would always have to send me home. My eyes went to his feet that was covered only by his socks, Sehun holding my shoes and his coat in one hand. I partially felt bad at how he had to handle me but a part of me knew that I would be more satisfied with the fight if he wasn’t around.

We reached the front door, and Sehun opened the door. The lively sound of every one talking was comfort to my ears and I smiled, stepping out of Sehun’s shoes. When I walked in, I saw Baekhyun on Chanyeol, the boys trying to do what we called an ‘aeroplane’. Wooseung used to do that to me when I was young and I remembered enjoying it all.

“You’re back!” Luhan said, turning from the screen, his hands still pressing the controller. “Where’d you go?”

“I almost called a search party,” Seungwoo said from the door, his glasses perched on his nose. “But Mark said that you just left the party.”

“I almost killed someone today,” I told him, taking off my coat and plopping down on the couch. Seungwoo raised an eyebrow, looking at Sehun holding my shoes before dragging his eyes back to me.

“What happened?”

“Your snake of an ex-girlfriend got on my nerves,” I answered, rubbing my eyes tiredly. “She’s lucky Sehun was around or she wouldn’t be alive right now.”

Seungwoo looked at Sehun who didn’t say anything, placing his coat on the coat rack. Kyungsoo appeared from upstairs and saw that Sehun was around, the shorter male going to Sehun to help him.

“Put it back on the shoe rack,” Sehun said to Kyungsoo who took my shoes. Kyungsoo looked at the shoes then at Sehun’s feet then back at the shoes before lifting it up in the air.

“Why your shoes shrink?”

“Those are Ong Harin’s.”

“Why you hold her shoes?” he asked again and Sehun shrugged. With that, Kyungsoo turned and glowered at me. “Bad, Ong Harin. Bad.”

“Ex-girlfriend?” Seungwoo asked, frowning. “You mean Jennie? Didn’t hurt her, did you?”

“Really?” I looked at my older brother. “I almost got beat up and you ask me if I hurt her?”

“Knowing your temper, I think I have to be worried about the policemen coming to our house.” My brother answered and I rolled my eyes. I was calm, most of the time. But my tantrums, though rare as they were, were incredibly violent. I remember having blackouts when I was young and then waking up in the hospital a few hours later.

“I’m tired,” I said to Seungwoo but was stopped by a flying Baekhyun who landed on my lap.

“Where do you think you’re going? You left us again.” He narrowed his eyes on me and climbed off. “Now you have to make sure we get to do the same thing you and Sehun did.”

“We didn’t do much,” I told him and Sehun scoffed, saying at the same time.

“She wrestled a person to the ground.”

“We drank alcohol—”

“—That tasted like death.” He finished my sentence and I looked at him.

“I want to try. Did it taste like sapphire whiskey?” Chanyeol asked, sitting up from the floor.

“I mean I have a few bottles of soju in the fridge if you guys want to try it. They’re all flavored,” Seungwoo said, standing up to go to the fridge and opening the alcohol side. He had always stocked up alcohol on his own and I know it was because he often felt lonely. Alcohol did help if you grew up traumatized.

“By a few you mean a box of it,” I corrected, standing up. “I’m calling it a night; you guys have fun.”

The look of the bottles had diverted their attention to the alcohol that no one saw me slip away. With a soft smile at all of them, I made my way up, my heart heavy. I took a shower and finally climbed into bed, sinking down underneath the covers. I placed a hand on my head and replayed everything that happened in my head, hoping that I could keep the memories in a bottle. I already missed them and maybe it was the alcohol, but I turned to the side and felt a tear slide down my cheek.

I never was good at goodbyes, but I had always prepared for them.

So that, with the stars in the sky, I replayed memories of them over of over again in my head. The way Sehun turned to look at me the first time we met, the way Baekhyun yelled at the sniffler, the way Xiumin tried his hardest to help. I wiped the tears from my eyes, knowing that it was a matter of time before I would never see them again, closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.

It was dark and the sound of a baby crying reached my ears. I looked around and saw nothing but emptiness, the wind cold against my skin. I jumped when I heard someone talking in my ear.

He wanted to kill you. I had no choice.

I had to make sure you were safe.

Mom? I found myself thinking, swinging my hands out in the darkness, trying to grab onto something that would make me feel safe.

“Harin… Harin!”

My eyes opened up wide and I saw Suho looking down on me, his eyebrows furrowed. My cheeks were wet and I quickly sat up, Suho reaching over to wipe my face with his sleeve. He looked worried and I hiccuped, my head disoriented.

“You were crying,” he told me and I closed my eyes. Suho patted my shoulder and I know he wanted to comfort me, but even I didn’t know what I was feeling. “Is everything okay?”

“I’m fine. Nightmare.” I smiled at him and he nodded, as if he understood. “Why are you up here?”

“I wanted to see if you wanted to drink. The rest wanted you to come and join them.”

Thinking that it would be good to spend more time with them, I agreed. Suho went down first and I went to wash my face. The dream was fuzzy in my head and I couldn’t remember what it was about, but I remember feeling cold. Shivering at the reminder, I patted my face dry and tied up my hair before going downstairs.

I was greeted by a group of very drunk people. The sight was hilarious and I saw a lot of them singing and laughing. Baekhyun kept talking. Kyungsoo was red on the face with Tao who looked like he could pass out any second.

“Down it!” Chanyeol yelled and everyone downed their cup. I blinked at the sight of all of them laughing at nothing for no particular reason before Chanyeol pointed to Kyungsoo. “Your turn! Something you never told anyone. Noooooo lying,” he warned Kyungsoo drunkenly, who almost toppled over.

Kyungsoo seemed to think for a moment, holding the table for support as his body swayed back and forth.

“One time, I want poison Oh Sehun.” He said and I was taken aback by how much he spoke. “But then I realize his father can kill my whole family.”

“Pooooor Kyungsoooo,” Chen said, looking sad for Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo waved a hand to show that it didn’t bother him as much that he couldn’t poison Sehun. Sehun blinked as if the information was new.

“I grow poisonous berries, strawberry, even orange.” He said and I tried not to laugh when his words sounded even more stupid. “But Sehun… berries, no eat. Strawberry? He throw at me. Orange? He made me eat instead. Sehun never eat anything.”

“That’s not true. I eat your cooking.” Sehun argued, glaring at Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo drunkenly grew an apple on both of his hands, showing it to everyone. “This side poisonous, this side not poisonous.” He showed everyone proudly, rocking back and forth. He stopped for a second and then bit one of the apples, chewing it thoughtfully when the realization hit his face.

“Which apple I eat?” A piece of apple fell from his mouth. “Oh no.”

Everyone stared at him, Kyungsoo slowly dropping onto the floor before his body went limp. I was about to panic but Baekhyun giggled, poking Kyungsoo’s feet. Sehun simply stared at Kyungsoo while Chanyeol began to wail. Tears poured from his eyes and Chen’s mouth turned upside down, Luhan also wiping his eyes.

“Today we mourn for a friend’s death—” Xiumin began slowly.

Then Kyungsoo suddenly sat up, crossing his arms as he stared at Sehun. “Why you no cry?”

“What?” Sehun asked, blinking. “I know you’re not stupid to eat your own poisonous apple, Kyungsoo.”

“We do not mourn for a friend’s death because unfortunately, he’s still alive,” Xiumin narrated.

“Unfortunately!” Baekhyun interjected, still giggling. “Bottoms up!” He said and everyone poured soju into their cup and with a swig, they finished it in one go. No wonder they were all drunk, they all drank it like water.

The night went on and I couldn’t help but laugh at their antics. Baekhyun, with every glass he drank, he became more and more cheesy. I would have confused him with Kai if he didn’t look so different. Baekhyun had another glass of soju and choked but he swallowed it and shoved chips down his throat.

“Did I tell you how much I love all of you?” he asked, swooning. Chanyeol nodded and hugged him.

“Me too.” He cried.

“I know my power is light but I’m not very bright, am I?” Baekhyun blubbered before turning to Chanyeol.

“Chanyeol… Your power is very warm but your heart is very cooooooooooold. I know you put off my nightlight when you think I’m sleeping.” Baekhyun began, wagging a finger at Chanyeol who was halfway to falling asleep.

“Luhan… you move things with your mind but you always move my heart.” He winked at Luhan who chuckled at Baekhyun’s attempt to be sweet. “Tao, you know how to stop time but time stops when I’m with youuuu…”

“Senior Lay—” Baekhyun turned to look at Lay who was absentmindedly patting his heart while his hand glowed. “Senior Lay, you heal all the