She tried holding it in the best she could. But this was bound to happen sooner or later. She could only be strong for so long until she reaches her breaking point.

It should have been a wonderful day. After all, it was the day she was born into this world. Her 18th birthday. A day she has been waiting for since she could remember. But now? Now she just wanted this day to end. 

She started the day with her immediate family. Everyone gathered into the house and it quickly became cramped. Everyone bumped shoulders and elbows. But it wasn’t uncomfortable. The house was full of laughter and glee as everyone recalled their memories of Hyejin throughout her life. 

They told stories about how she was such a rambunctious child, and how one day it led her to getting lost. They told stories of how her love of food landed her a position in a  play. They told stories of their version of Hyejin. The old version of Hyejin.

Despite all this happiness and laughter, there was just one thing missing. A big thing missing that no one would dare confront. The elephant in the room. 

That Hyejin’s uncle should have been here.

How he should be here, celebrating Hyejin’s 18th birthday with the rest of them. After all, he looked forward to this day and wouldn’t stop talking about it since Hyejin’s 17th birthday. So, the joy in the air had the twinge of sadness. They were happy but felt guilty at the same time. Guilty for enjoying themselves when someone else should’ve been there. Enjoying themselves in a space and time that should’ve been reserved for someone else. 

But such is life. There are no reservations for happiness.

Besides, they all know that he would berate them for being sad during a time of happiness. So, they kept up the charade. They were happy in Hyejin’s honor and in her uncle’s memory. A celebration of life and death.

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And so it lasted the rest of the day. It was only near the end when the cracks on her brave exterior began to show. Everyone gave her their presents and there was only one left. No one said anything from who this gift is from but everyone knew.

As they all stood in the driveway as Hyejin’s father went to fetch the gift, everyone was silent. Everyone knew what was coming. Everyone knew and braced themselves. A beautiful agony as they waited for the inevitable.

The garage door opened and Hyejin’s father walked out while pushing a motorcycle. 

The very motorcycle she has eyed ever since she was young.

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Everything passed by in a blur. It truly felt like she was flying. Nothing could stop her.

Faster and faster she continued. Pushing the bike to it’s limits. Hearing the roar of the engine as it obeyed the demands of its owner, Hyejin continued on her journey. Her journey of solitude.

She told everyone that she was going to Wheein’s and they let her go without a second thought. What she didn’t tell them was the fact that she wasn’t supposed to meet Wheein till another hour or so. She wanted to be left alone and this was the only way for her to get it. 

Just a young woman and her bike. 

And while she drove, tears threatened to escape. This drive was anything but a simple test run. She was running from her feelings. Each moment she gained speed was a moment more away from facing the truth. Each moment she weaved between the little blurbs of traffic was a moment more from facing what she’s been hiding. As she gained speed, her demons fell behind. As she gained speed, she finally felt alive. 

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Eventually time was up. She had a promise to keep. Finally slowing down, it was only the rush of adrenaline that stopped the wave of realisation of what this gift really means. She only has to keep up appearances for a little while more. 

As she pulled into the driveway, an excited puppy ran out the door to greet her.

“Hyejin-ah!!” Wheein yelled as she jumped into Hyejin’s open arms. 

Hyejin giggled as Wheein excitedly started to place butterfly kisses all over her face.

“Heh, someone is sure excited to see me,” Hyejin smiled as she managed to sneak in her own kiss on Wheein’s cheek.

“Well, yea! You’re old now!” Wheein grinned brightly.

“Hey, you’re older!” Hyejin pouted.

“Only by a couple of months,” Wheein began to drag Hyejin into the house. 

“My point still stands!”

“We can be old together then,” Wheein chuckled as she brought Hyejin upstairs. Upstairs of the silent house. 

“Hey, where are ya parents?” Hyejin asked. It was the first thing she noticed as she entered the house. The lack of loud voices somewhat concerned her.  It was weird coming to this household so quiet.

“They got into a fight and forgot to prepare your gifts,” Wheein answered. Her head shook only slightly as she recalled how she had to remind them and berate them. 

Hyejin was going to say something else but Wheein dragged her into the office and made her sit down on one of the leather chairs by the window. 

“Now wait here, I’ll see if I can drag them out,” Wheein gave Hyejin a quick kiss before finally bounding back downstairs. 

Thus, leaving Hyejin alone with her thoughts.
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She tried her best to hold it in. Now more than ever. The day was almost done, only a few more hours and then she’s free. That was the mantra she repeated inside her head. The mantra to distract herself from facing the very thing she has been avoiding all day.

Once it was obvious that the mantra was wavering she shifted her focus to the study. She has never actually been in the study so this was the perfect distraction. Hopefully a long enough one. 

The study was the perfect example of a victorian study. The dark floorings complimented the dark furniture and wood accented walls. The elaborate desk where Wheein says her mother works at was as beautiful as she described it. Even if it was covered with a haphazard mess of papers and folders.  Her eyes moved to the bookshelves that seemed to be the wall themselves. While she did see books, she also saw memories. Wheein’s mother is known for taking all sorts of pictures so it was only natural for a good portion of the shelves to be covered in the pictures she has taken over the years. While some of them were back when she was younger, a majority of the pictures of either them as a family, or serene, even silly, pictures of Wheein or Yongsun. It was obvious how much she loved them. Seeing that love radiating out from the pictures touched Hyejin’s own heart. Making it constrict once more. Time to move on. 

But her eyes wandered to where they should not have. Her subconscious finally made her face what she has been avoiding all day.

She finally looked at the very motorcycle she wanted ever since she was a child.

She doesn’t remember how exactly she came to the conclusion that this motorcycle was the one she wanted, all she remembers is going up to her parents and declaring she wants one during christmas one year. She also remembers how the adults just chuckled at her childish wants, hell even her uncle had a nice laugh. But here she is. Looking at the very bike she always wanted and what does she feel?

Anger.

Pain.

Sadness.

Anger at the very world that dared took her uncle away. Pain at the fact that her uncle isn’t here to hand deliver the gift himself. Sadness that this was the very gift he hinted at since last year and he isn’t even here to give it to her. The very thing he looked forward to and he isn’t here. He took every chance to tell Hyejin that he had a special gift for her 18th birthday and he isn’t here. 

He isn’t here.

He will never be here.

Not anymore and never again.

The tears flowed as freely as the undisturbed rivers that are untouched by mankind. And as they fell, so too did her own emotions finally break free. 

The more she tried to regain control, the more she lost control. Everything was too much. Everything was catching up. And try as she might, she couldn’t take her eyes off the motorcycle as her body shook with built up agony. It was painful. So painful.  

Every detail she saw on the motorcycle, the more memories of her uncle populated her mind. More memories and the knowledge that there will never again be new ones to replace the ones that are lost in the flow of time.

At that thought, she completely broke. The last desperate strand that held things together finally snapped. 

A pained gasp finally broke through and she curled up on the chair. Desperately clutching onto herself in a vain attempt to have some semblance of control. Something to tether her while she finally broke down.

It all hurts. 

Her demons were louder than ever. Whispering their words of how she isn’t good enough at anything. How no matter how hard she tries, people's judgment of her has already passed and gave her a label that will follow her. Label of lies. Her demons echoed the words that have been said to her throughout her life. How she’s ugly, too fat, too dark,that she isn’t good for anything and that she should just die instead.  These demons repeated these thoughts in her head over and over and it became unbearable. She wanted nothing more than peace. But was that too much to ask? She can put on a brave front all she wants, she can make her own standard, but she’s still just human. And the human spirit could only take so much before it breaks. 

And now all she could do was cry. 

Cry at her demons words and cry at how cruel the world is. 

Thinking about everything and nothing, her tears and pained breathing ransacked her body. Nothing felt real. She didn’t want it to be real. She wanted her uncle to be here. To give her comfort from her demons like he always did. To give her the gift that he desperately wanted to give her. And yet….

This was his last gift.

Never again will there be another one.

There will never be another gift. There will never be another memory to form. There will never be more advice. There will never be another chance to learn from him ever again. 

Never.

Like how she never said goodbye. 

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It felt like eons before Wheein and her parents finally came back. 

In actuality, it was five minutes.

Wheein found her parents righteously making sure that the presents and the wrapping were pristine. She berated them once more for taking up so much valuable time but still helped them put the finishing touches anyway. 

They were all excited to see Hyejin’s reaction. And they wanted it to be a surprise. So, they managed to quietly walk upstairs, eager to celebrate Hyejin’s birthday, even if it’s only a couple of hours. But they stopped short.

They heard Hyejin crying.

And not the soft sniffles and few gasps, oh no. They heard Hyejin breaking down. 

They quickly entered the office to see Hyejin curled up on the chair and staring outside the window with a look of agony and horror. Wheein tossed her gift to the side and quickly went towards Hyejin and knelt by her. 

With her eyes full of worry, she tried to get Hyejin’s attention. But nothing got through Hyejin’s sorrow. Hyejin was swallowed by it and not even Wheein’s voice could reach her. Right now, all Hyejin felt was an overload of emotion and she was numb to everything else. 

Wheein’s own tears began to fall as she saw Hyejin in this state. And try as she might, as desperate as she was, nothing she did reached Hyejin. All she could do was cradle Hyejin in her arms while she looked at her parents for any sort of help. Any help to ease Hyejin through this. 

Even Yong and Byul were at a loss. If Wheein couldn’t reach her then how could they? But that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t try. They carefully placed down the gifts they had in their hands and calmly walked over to the crying Wheein and distraught Hyejin. It was only when they got close enough to the window and saw what Hyejin was focused on did they understand. 

The motorcycle that Hyejin’s uncle told them about. The very bike that he bought and restored himself. The very bike he was excited to share. He told them his plans during their own holiday party. And seeing it now, it all made sense. There was nothing they could say that could truly bring comfort to Hyejin. Words held no meaning right now. But action did. 

They met Wheein’s pleading eyes and shook their heads, someday Wheein will understand that words are truly nothing. But until then, it was time to show that they were there for Hyejin. 

And so, they all enveloped her in a hug as she cried the rest of her heart, her pain, her agony, her sorrow and sadness out. They let her cry. They let her cry in their loving embrace. And even if she can’t feel them right now, it doesn’t mean it’s worthless. Afterall, a loving touch leaves the longest impression.

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Eventually Hyejin cried herself to sleep in their arms. As Yong and Byul removed themselves from the embrace, they planned on what to do with Hyejin while Wheein remained firm in holding Hyejin in her arms. 

Without saying a word, and only exchanging a glance, they knew what to do. Byul went out of the room to call Hyejin’s parents and to let them know that Hyejin was staying with them tonight as she fell asleep. Meanwhile, Yong told  Wheein to let Hyejin go so she could carry her down to Wheein’s room.Wheein seemed reluctant to let Hyejin go, but knew it was more comfortable to sleep in a bed rather than be curled up in a chair, so she let her mom carry Hyejin down.  

Wheein scampered ahead to go prepare her bed and Byul went through their pantry to make sure they had the ingredients needed to make Hyejin’s favorite breakfast in the morning. So, by the time Yong made it to Wheein’s room, Wheein and Byul waited patiently. Yong took her time in order to not disturb the sleeping cub. Especially when she finally looks at peace. 

When she finally made it to Wheein’s room, she gently tucked Hyejin in. Something she used to do when Wheein was younger. Though, this time she made sure to not tuck Hyejin in too snug. Need to leave room for Wheein to snuggle Hyejin.

Afterwards, Yong and Byul both said their goodnights. Giving Wheein a kiss on the head and giving Hyejin a tender pat on the head they finally left the two young girls alone. Well, Wheein alone.

Wheein was at a loss. What could she do? Was there anything she could do to ease Hyejin’s pain? Her parents told her that there are just some pains that can’t be shared. That there are pains that are too personal to share, even if a person wanted to share them. It was just one of those things. You may never want pain but it’s a sign of life. A blessing and a curse.

With a sigh, Wheein pulled out a random sketch book and began drawing. Something to pass the time until she goes to sleep and to ease her worry. And as she drew, she spoke aloud. As always, Hyejin was her model for this drawing. As her pencil gently glided over the paper, at each , Wheein spoke. She spoke her observant truth. 

The truth that proved Hyejin’s demons wrong.

Eventually her piece was done and her eyes could barely hold themselves open. Taking but a moment to change, Wheein finally joined Hyejin in bed. Quickly positioning herself next to Hyejin and snuggled. Careful to not wake the sleeping lion. 

As her eyes finally began to fall, she needed to say something first.

“I love you, Hyejin-ah.”

Planting a kiss on Hyejin’s cheek, Wheein finally started to fall asleep. And as she fell into that comforting darkness, she barely heard Hyejin.

“I love you too, Wheein-ah.”