Before they get into Jin Joo’s room, Ji Hyo stops Jong Kook. “Oppa, she doesn’t know about her illness. Please don’t mention it to her, she’s still too young to understand.”

“I can’t pretend to be happy, Ji Hyo-yah.” He feels another tear falls down, which immediately is wiped away by Ji Hyo.

“We have to. I want her to be happy on her last days.” She squeezes his hand gently.

“Is she getting worse?” He whispers, staring at the door.

Ji Hyo nods regretfully. “The doctor says the cancer spreads too quickly. I’m sorry I noticed it too late.”

Jong Kook hugs her. “I’m the one who is sorry, Ji Hyo-yah. You’re the best mother for her and I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you and our daughter.”

In his embrace, Ji Hyo whispers. “Can we be like this just until she- until she’s-” She can’t. She just can’t mention it. It makes her choked up.

“Of course, Ji Hyo-yah. You don’t even have to ask about it.” He kisses the top of her crown. At times like this, he feels stupid. How can he let her go? How can he even have the thought of leaving her?

“Appa!” Jin Joo screams as soon as they open the door.

“Hey, Gongju-nim*. Why aren’t you sleeping?” Jong Kook quickly walks towards her bed and hugs her little princess.

“I’m waiting for you, Appa!” Jin Joo hugs her father as tight as her strength can. “Were you sleeping when we’re here?”

Jong Kook glances at Ji Hyo, who’s busy tidying up her and Jin Joo’s clothes. “Ne, I was very sleepy. But when Eomma called me, I immediately drove here.”

“Jinjja? Appa’s here for me?” Jin Joo claps her hands excitedly.

He feels a tug at his heart. How many times was he not there for them that his four years old even feels pleased with the mention of him being there?

“Dangyeonhaji, Jin Joo-yah,” Jong Kook kisses his daughter’s forehead. “From now on, I will always be here for you.”

Jin Joo chuckles. “Dangyeonhaji!” Followed by Ji Hyo’s chuckle.

“Huh?” Jong Kook feels confused about this mother and daughter duo’s inside joke. “Is there something I missed?”

“Dangyeonhaji!” Jin Joo continues to chuckle.

Ji Hyo smiles. “She heard you saying that word and has been repeating it ever since.”

“Ahhhh jeongmal,” Jong Kook Jin Joo’s hair. “Do you even know what that means?”

“Dangyeonhaji!”

“That’s literally the same question I asked her and that’s literally the same answer she gave.” Ji Hyo muses.

Jong Kook laughs. “She’s definitely your daughter then.” He goes to his busy wife and kisses her temple, which startles Ji Hyo a bit, but she welcomes it anyway.

Jin Joo’s eyes light up and she reaches for her parents. “Na do*, Appa.”

“Hm?”

Ji Hyo turns her head curiously.

“I want Appa and Eomma’s kiss too.”

“Didn’t I kiss you before?” Jong Kook chuckles.

“Aniyo.” Jin Joo giggles.

“I didn’t?” Jong Kook walks towards his daughter and her used-to-be-red pale cheek. “Do you want me to kiss you again?”

Jin Joo nods.

“How about I kiss you with my fingers?” He playfully tickles her neck and she laughs out loud.

This view. How Ji Hyo wishes this will last forever.

-

The first headache happened when the doctor said the despicable word. Cancer. Leukemia. At the time, her mind stopped working and all she could do was stare into nothing. She felt it. The tugging and the tightness on her brain until it turned numb. But she ignored it because it’s no time for thinking about her.

Her only daughter’s life was on the line.

She was her priority.

The headache was slightly diminishing when she went inside her daughter’s room. The doctors had given Jin Joo medicines that made her cheerful again. Seeing her daughter in this state, she forgot about her own pain.

And the headache returned at night after she tucked Jin Joo to sleep in their apartment after she compromised with the doctors that she wanted to let Jin Joo live her final days happily instead of miserably. Thinking of nothing, she swallowed a headache pill dry. The pounding on her head was really deafening, all she wanted to do was to close her eyes and sleep.

But she couldn’t.

She made a promise some time ago that she would always wait for her husband to come home. And she wouldn’t break that promise today.

She fell asleep accidentally. Surrendering herself to the darkness.

For the next couple of days, she would feel the headache coming and going. The headache would visit her at the worst times, such as when she was cooking, or when she was playing with Jin Joo. She also felt more tired than usual but she couldn’t sleep at night. Her mind and body were tired and begged her to just go to sleep