"Mr Jung, I'm sorry but you are diagonised with stage 3 cancer. I'm afraid its too late to do anything now. All I can do is to

give you painkillers to help you with the pain. You should spend more time with your family members, the most you can live

is 2 months. Deepest apologies" 

This sentence echoed in my head.

Cancer.

2 months left.

I ran out of the hospital, ignoring the doctor's shouting. 

It was raining outside, but I don't care. I just want to get away from this cruel word.

Why me? 

What did I do wrong? 

I still want to spend eternity with my wife Jaejoong

With our future children

But now... 

Its impossible

I ran rounds and rounds in the rain.

I'm not even sure where am I going

I just keep running and running, until I collapsed near a tree in the park

I looked up to see the dark and cloudy sky.. it was pouring heavily

As if its crying for me

I'm not even sure whether I cried, because the sound of the rain drowned whatever sound I made

And the rain drops covered my tears if I did shed any.

God... How am I going to tell Jaejoongie about this..? He'll be so heartbrokened...

I'm such a fail husband... I can't even stay with my wife till the end of this world..

I don't deserve Jaejoong... Yea I don't deserve him

My Jaejoong is such a perfect guy... its a pity he met me.. really

I feel so pathetic... 

Probably... I should let Jaejoong go..? 

Maybe he'll find someone who can love him longer than I can... Yea Yunho, don't be so selfish.

Jaejoong.. Will be better off without me.. I can't give him happiness for his entire life I cannot love him forever... I guess, if he

lives better without me, I won't have any more regrets.

Without second thoughts I went back to our... or soon to be.. his home. I took a deep breath and opened the door, to find

Jaejoong preparing dinner for me.

"Yunho ah you're home~" Jaejoong said in that sweet melodious voice of his... I wish I could replay it forever in my head. 

"Jaejoong ah, I got something to tell you." I said, trying to sound cold.

I guess it worked.. cause Jaejoong came out of the kitchen with a nervous and slightly feared expression.

"Lets breakup. I'll cancel our engagement and wedding" I said coldly. 

I can feel my heart shattering when I said that.. its so painful...

"HAHAHA, Yunnie its not April Fools! Not funny!" Jaejoong laughed and said.

Jaejoong ah... why must you make it hard for me to say goodbye..?

This will be the last time I'll hear your voice and laughter... 

For your sake, I have no choice... I hope you will understand me.. 

I grabbed my shoulders and shooked them harshly.

"Jaejoong, I'm not joking. Its the end. Sorry." I said and I turned around to leave, not wanting to see his reaction

As I walked out I can hear him sobbing, asking me to come back... 

Sorry Jaejoong ah.. hope you won't blame me for being so selfish...

I walked back to my parent's house which wasn't really far away.

I was greeted by my parents who were surprised that I came home so suddenly.

I put on a fake smile as I hugged them tightly, asking them if I could stay here for a while as I was homesick.

They agreed and ask me to go shower and have dinner with them.

I dragged my feet upstairs and shut the bedroom door behind me.

I leaned on the door and sank down in a kneeling position. 

I closed my eyes... trying to get rid of him.. his face... his laughter..his smile...his cooking..

But the moment I closed my eyes, I can see him staring at me with that beautiful smile. I jerked awake as I grabbed my

clothes and head to the shower. 

I the tap and let the cold water wash away the tears I shed... as if it could also wash away the pain in my heart..

It was unbearable...but I guess... It won't last long... since I'm going to die soon..

Jaejoong ah, I'm so sorry...

I cried and cried as I punched the wall of the bathroom.

I don't care if my hands bleed, I just keep on punching. 

I even punched the mirror, leaving cracks on it..

I looked at my own reflection in that broken mirror... I looked so pathetic... I am pathetic

I can't even protect the one I love... 

I stayed for what seems like forever in the shower as tears streamed down my face again. 

(a few days later) 

The coughing has been getting worse and worse... They had to put me in ICU (Intensive care unit) 

With much difficulty, I got my brother, Changmin, to help me deliver something.

I told him to look for the 2 most beautiful roses in this area, pluck them. Give one to me, and the other send to a person.

He didnt ask much as he did as he was told. He also helped me write a letter because I couldn't write really well in this state.

"Jaejoong ah..this is my last gift to you..." I whispered as I held to rose close to me..

A sudden tiredness spread throughout me...

"Goodbye... my beloved Jaejoong" 



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Yay I'm done ^_^ Thanks to my subscribers! Sorry for the delay! I just finished 5 exams last week >.< 
Again, feel free to give me comments ^_^