Chapter 9: The Sanctuary

Throughout the entirety of Wheein and Yongsun’s newfound relationship, one thing Wheein refused to accept was the fact that Yong was a morning person. It had always been the same routine ever since they had begun sleeping over at eachother’s places; Yongsun would rise early, get out of bed with a completely ungracious yawn, and attempt to drag Wheein along with her. And each time, Wheein would groan and whine and bury herself further under the safety of the bed covers, waiting patiently until Yongsun’s retreating footsteps indicated her surrender.

Which is why, Wheein supposed, she was in such disbelief when she woke to find Yongsun still sound asleep beside her, one leg hanging off the side of the bed and an arm curled comfortably over Wheein’s stomach. She had never been a morning person, but maybe this was a side effect of last night’s events; maybe admitting to loving eachother had meant Yongsun could sleep with ease, and Wheein was, for once, excited to live as much of the day as possible.

“Why are you staring at me?” Alright, so maybe Wheein’s theory was short-lived when Yongsun frowned, eyes still closed as she stretched in big motions.

“Because you’re ugly,” Wheein deadpanned, and Yongsun let out a soft chuckle.

“Oh thank god you’re back to normal. I was expecting some lavish love poem about my beauty or something,” Yong yawned, cracking an eye open and pulling herself into Wheein so that her face was tucked under the girl’s rib, essentially trapping herself between the woman and her mattress.

“No, sorry. I’m saving those for my other girlfriends,” Wheein said, biting her lip in amusement and waiting for the inevitable assault from the other woman. Instead, Yongsun lifted her head, face still puffy from sleep and hair sticking out all over the place, and smiled goofily.

“I’m one of your girlfriends?”

Wheein laughed at that, one of those head-thrown-back, freeing kind of laughs which made Yongsun want to record it for her next ringtone. “I mention that I have many girlfriends I read love poems to and you focus on the fact that I referred to you as one of them?”

Yongsun nodded once, face serious. “I would like to be one please.”

“Oh my god, you’re so weird,” Wheein said, pulling the covers over her head to hide her blushing cheeks, not wanting to show Yong that she was embarrassed by the conversation.

“Hey,” Yongsun huffed, pulling at the covers. “What’s weird about wanting to be official with the girl I’m in love with?”

Wheein could hear the smile in Yongsun’s voice, the teasing way she looked at her when she’d pulled the covers off the girl making her struggle to fight a smile of her own. “Why do we do things so backward?”

Yongsun shrugged. “Because being normal is boring?”

Wheein nodded. “That must be it.”

“So…it’s a yes? We can be girlfriends?”

Wheein’s bottom lip jutted out at the innocence of Yong’s question, the hopefulness making her laugh teasingly. “Yes, we can be girlfriends,” Wheein said, a slight eye roll and shake of her head ignored by Yongsun when the woman stretched her arms above her head and let out a satisfied noise.

“Cool. So what’s for breakfast?”

**

“Stop laughing! I swear it didn’t look like this when I practiced at home,” Yongsun pouted, flipping over one of the misshapen pancakes with a huff while Wheein shook her head in amusement.

“You practiced? Aw unnie,” Wheein cooed, looping her arms around the woman’s waist from behind and resting her chin on the woman’s shoulder. She nuzzled her face into the woman’s cheek and planted a small, gentle kiss there. “I’m sure they’ll taste great.”

“Stop distracting me, I can’t focus when you’re being cute,” Yongsun said, shaking Wheein off her, the whine in her voice only serving to make Wheein squeeze tighter. The cassette player hummed out some 80’s indie song from Wheein’s bedroom, and paired with the freshness of the morning and the softness of the t-shirt Yong was wearing, Wheein couldn’t picture a more peaceful scene. And the constant groans and curses at the pancakes which had now stuck to the frying pan, were an added bonus Wheein supposed, because it was always endearing when Yongsun would try her hardest at something new.

“Unnie let’s just eat these ones, you don’t have to get it perfect,” Wheein said, a hand reaching over to still Yong’s which was holding another ladle of batter mix. Yong sighed, dropping the utensil back into the bowl and scrunching up her face at the sight of the uneven and oddly shaped stack of pancakes she’d cooked already.

“It’s annoying,” Yongsun said, huffing as she handed a plate to Wheein and resigned herself to sitting at the table and staring at the food with a pout. Wheein brought over the fruit she’d cut and set it on the table with the rest of the food, chuckling at the sight of Yongsun’s folded arms.

“It’s better like this, I don’t like round pancakes anyway,” Wheein said, taking one from the pile and covering it with honey, humming contently as she did so. Yongsun rolled her eyes, reaching for one too and taking a bite apprehensively.

“Wah…they’re actually good? Like really good?” Yong said, making Wheein choke on her pancake in disbelief.

“Uh…yeah they’re good unnie-“

“No like, I could sell these Wheein-ah! Just practice a bit more and they’ll be flying off the shelves. Maybe I should do a recipe video? So I can teach Yongwanims to-“

“Unnie! Please stop, they’re good but they’re not….they’re not that good,” Wheein said, her words muffled from the mouthful of watermelon and watching as Yongsun’s mouth hung open in fake shock, the hand brought up to cover it and wide, offended eyes making Wheein sputter, watermelon juice dripping from the corner of .

“I thought you were supposed to support me forever, Wheein-ah,” Yongsun said, twirling the pancake on the end of her fork in disappointment, Wheein laughing at the sight. The younger girl reached over, patting the sudden wannabe-chef’s hand pitifully.

“It just wasn’t meant to be, honey,” Wheein said, squeezing the woman’s hand and laughing embarrassedly. “Yah, why are we like this?”

Yongsun smiled smugly at that, swiping along the corner of Wheein’s mouth with her thumb and enjoying Wheein’s flustered state. “Because you love me.”

“Unnie that doesn’t explain why we’re so-“

“Because. You. Love. Me,” Yongsun said, eyes wide as though she was daring Wheein to challenge her.

Wheein rolled her eyes. “Because I love you,” she relented, watching the satisfied nod Yongsun gave with a fond smile. What a dork.

“Nice. Now can we get back to this lovely breakfast and stop with the dramatics for a second, Wheein-ah?” Yongsun replied seriously, spooning some fruit onto her plate, a slight smirk tugging at her lips from her own antics, amusement swimming in her eyes as she heard Wheein let out a breath in disbelief.

“I don’t know how I’m going to survive spending the rest of the day with you, let alone the rest of our lives.”

**

Between the emotional night before and the chaos of breakfast in the morning, Wheein supposed that she was due some bad news at some point, knowing that the usual rhythm of her life was one of complete happiness followed by some kind of low. Yongsun seemed to catch onto Wheein’s train of thought as they walked to meet Nayeon and her husband, turning to give Wheein a soft smile.

“Are you ok?” Yongsun asked, slowing her energetic pace to match Wheein’s, nudging the girl’s shoulder to bring her out of her thoughts. Wheein shrugged.

“Just tired of this being a thing, y’know? I’m hoping that Nayeon’s husband can figure out a way to end it for good,” Wheein said, letting out a small sigh. “Thank you for coming with me, though. I’m sure there are better things you could be doing.”

“Better than being with you? Not possible,” Yongsun hummed, her immediate answer making Wheein laugh.

“Yah, you’re too sweet these days. Hyejin and Byuli unnie are gonna tease us more than usual you if you keep it up,” Wheein said, rolling her eyes fondly when Yongsun simply shrugged in response and spun around as she walked, the morning sunlight kissing her skin in a way that made Wheein jealous of the sun. She wanted to be the reason for such a glow. “Are you ok over there?”

“Perfect. And excited to meet your ex,” Yong sing-songed from ahead, a mischievous glint in her eye that made Wheein want to take back everything nice she’d just thought about the woman.

“Oh my god shut up, unnie! You’re making me nervous,” Wheein whined.

“Shouldn’t I be the nervous one? I’ve never had competition before,” Yongsun said, folding her arms and smirking. Wheein didn’t find that surprising, knowing that most of the woman’s dating history consisted of a handful of men who pined after her and all ended with Yongsun getting bored and breaking their hearts.

“You don’t have competition, ok? I have a girlfriend!”

“You do? Well Wheein-ah, you could’ve told me before I went and fell for you,” Yongsun said, open dumbfoundedly. Wheein let out a scoff and grabbed the woman’s hand, pulling her along and trying to hide the smile tugging at her lips.

“You’re annoying.”

“So are you,” Yong said, tongue sticking out childishly as she let Wheein lead the way, her hand moving to hold Wheein’s, giving it a squeeze and revelling in the way Wheein held onto her more tightly.

“What’s gotten into you?” Wheein said, her question soft and laced with amusement.

Yongsun knew what had gotten into her. She knew that she was being overly greasy and annoying, and knew that it was necessary to ensure Wheein forgot about her worries and to keep her in this happy place they’d been able to bask in over the past few days. Yongsun wanted this to last forever, or at least for the rest of their time off; she hadn’t felt so relaxed and content in a long time, and she couldn’t bear the thought of Wheein’s father possibly ruining anything else for them.

“I don’t know, I think it must’ve been that amazing breakfast. I need to get the chef’s number, for real.”

“You’re insane,” Wheein said, turning a corner into the busier part of Jeonju Village and gently letting go of Yongsun’s hand to link arms instead. “But I’m not giving you her number, she’s more my type than yours, I promise.”

Yongsun huffed, lips jutting out in a playful pout as she squeezed Wheein’s arm, before letting her go when she noticed the amount of people around them, as though their safe, blissful bubble had just been popped with the sight of a stranger. Wheein nodded slightly, understanding Yong’s weariness and nudging the woman’s shoulder as they walked, a reassurance that everything was okay.

“I think the café’s on the next corner,” Wheein said, offering Yongsun one of those cheesy smiles, one that made her nose crinkle and cheeks push up over her eyes. Yongsun watched her, the woman’s sudden goofiness making her laugh, both of their nerves beginning to appear in unsure giggles and reddened cheeks. Yongsun took out her phone, typing a quick text and sliding it into her back pocket.

“Byuli and Hyejin-ah will meet us at the bar in two hours, so if you need an excuse to leave early, we can use them, okay?” Yongsun suggested, and Wheein nodded. “Or maybe I’ll use it when I see Nayeon even breathing around you…”

“Yah! Unnie you said you’d play nice,” Wheein whined, poking her shoulder childishly and Yongsun rolled her eyes fondly.

“Okay if my baby Wheeinie wants me to be nice then I will,” She cooed, pushing a finger into Wheein’s dimple and cackling when Wheein swatted her hand away.

“Thanks grandma,” She said back, eyes glinting happily with the way Yongsun frowned.

“Y’know it’s weird to call me that now I kiss you and stuff,” Yongsun said simply, then turned to enter the café, enjoying the sight of Wheein trying to gather her composure and close as she trailed after Yong like a scolded child. Yongsun really was surprising her more and more every day. It was strange to think she’d been without this harmlessly evil side of her unnie for so long, but she was grateful she was able to experience it now. It was freeing watching Yongsun being so completely comfortable around her. She watched the woman pull out her phone and hold it up, eyes flickering between the screen and the inside of the café.

“What are you doing?” Wheein asked.

“Trying to spot the devil,” Yongsun replied, pouting when Wheein hit her. “Okay okay, I’m looking for that woman and her husband,” She said.

“They’re not here yet,” Wheein said after looking around. “Where’d you get the photo of Nayeon anyway?” Wheein asked, gesturing to a quiet table in the corner and taking her jacket off, hanging it over the back of her chair and sitting down with a small sigh.

“Hyejin helped me stalk her, okay? She wanted to make fun of her husband and I…I wanted to put a face to the girl who hurt you. But she didn’t have horns or anything like I was expecting, she was just really pretty,” Yongsun admitted quietly, shutting her phone off and playing with the corners of the menu on the table, her fingers tapping lightly on the table to the rhythm of the soft music playing from a speaker above them.

“I just need her help with this, and then we can go back to getting on with everything else. You don’t have to like her, just try not to murder her today, okay? If it weren’t for you knowing what she did, I really think you’d get along, y’know,” Wheein said, squeezing Yongun’s hand and laughing when Yong stuck her tongue out playfully in response. “You’re so weird.”

“Oh it’s about to get a whole lot weirder now, honey,” Yongsun teased, nodding over to the couple entering the café and Wheein gulped, watching as Yongsun painted one of her sunniest smiles on her face as Nayeon and her husband made their way over to them. This is was going to be a whole new level of weird.

**

“What time did Wheein say they’re coming?” Byuli asked, passing a beer to Hyejin and taking a sip of her own.

“Twenty minutes, I think,” Hyejin said, eyes not moving from her phone, her thumbs tapping rapidly on the screen. Byul shook her head and let out a low chuckle, moving closer to the girl and trying to get a look at what she was typing. “Yah! You’re like a kid,” Hyejin whined when Byul deliberately moved so her head was blocking Hyejin’s line of sight, and Byul gasped scandalously.

“Ahn Hyejin, do you really think it’s appropriate to be paying attention to anyone other than me right now?” Byul asked, her hands finding home on her hips and face trying to remain serious. Hyejin rolled her eyes.

“You say that as if I haven’t been waiting on you hand and foot for the past twenty four hours, unnie,” Hyejin said with an eye roll. “And anyway, I’m just checking on my child okay, leave me alone,” Hyejin drawled, a pout pulling her lips forward and making Byul laugh, the older woman had never been able to stay serious around the maknae anyway.

“You’re so strong. I don’t know how you cope being a single mom,” Byul said solemnly, taking a slow sip of beer and watching Hyejin over the rim of her glass, eyes shining playfully. Hyejin nodded seriously.

“It’s hard being mom and dad, y’know. I’m just scared of him being teased by his friends at school, kids can be really mean, unnie.”

Byul let out a choked, sputtering laugh, struggling to swallow her beer as she nudged Hyejin with an annoyed groan. “Yah you’re always so much weirder than you let on. Worrying about your tortoise being bullied for having a single parent…you’re so cute,” Byuli cooed, pinching the girl’s cheek and enjoying the groan of disgust Hyejin let out, eyebrows pulled down into a deadly glare and Byul panicked, waving a napkin around in surrender and Hyejin nodded with a proud smirk, enjoying the power she always held over the other woman. As much as she would never admit it, she enjoyed being babied by her unnie, not many people treated her as delicately as Byuli did.

“Is it going well with Woogie?” Byuli asked, looking at Hyejin hopefully and enjoying the nervous disposition Hyejin always had when talking about anything involving love.

“He’s being really great. I’m not naïve like you all think, and I’m really making him work for it, for me to be back in his life that is. But he hasn’t done anything to make me doubt him yet. It’s nice,” Hyejin said, eyes avoiding Byul’s eager expression and settling on her beer, reaching over to take a long sip.

“We don’t think you’re naïve, Hyejin-ah. We just care about you and don’t want him to hurt you again,” Byul said, her bottom lip jutting outwards. “It’s nice you have someone like that,” Byul said, words sincere but followed with a long sigh, as she sat back and took another gulp of beer, her eyes distant as they traced the other people in the bar, now avoiding the burning of Hyejin’s stare on her reddening face.

“Unnie, what’s wrong?” Hyejin asked, setting her phone on the table and turning her body to face Moonbyul, thankful that they’d chosen to sit in the cosier, quieter section of the bar, the big pillows they were sitting on and candles surrounding them making both women feel more at home. Although it wasn’t enough to stop Byul from lowering her voice out of fear of prying ears.

“Nothing-I don’t know, actually….I think I’ve just been a bit lonely lately,” Byul said, her shoulders sagging, her teeth biting at the inside of her cheek. Hyejin tilted her head.

“Really? Why didn’t you say something?”

Byul shrugged. “I didn’t really realise it’s what I had been feeling until this weekend since we’ve spent so much time together. I think I’ve just been trying to get used to not having Yongsun-unnie around as much, y’know? And it’s great that you’re all finding happiness, I just need to focus on finding mine, I guess.”

Hyejin nodded, her foot tapping along absentmindedly to the hum of the bass of some song she didn’t know, while trying to collect her own feelings. “I know what you mean. It’s been weird not spending as much time with Wheein, too. I think I’ve just distracted myself with Onsoon and Jae-Wook oppa so I wouldn’t notice it as much. It’s strange, isn’t it?”

“Yongsun and Wheein-ah being together?” Byul asked, turning to Hyejin and sighing when she nodded. “It’s…It’s not something I ever thought of happening, but I think it’s just our job to let it happen and support them. As long as it doesn’t affect the group-“

“But it will eventually, wont it? If they stay together and someone finds out…or even if they break up…it’s gonna affect the group either way,” Hyejin said, her frown and concern making Byul feel on edge. She hadn’t thought about it in that way, had been so focussed on being supportive and encouraging of her bandmates that she hadn’t given a second thought to what it actually meant for their livelihoods. “I mean I love them both with all my heart, and their happiness comes first always. But we need to be realistic too, don’t we?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Byul said, the admittance hanging in the air. She took another long gulp of her beer. “What do we do, then?”

Hyejin shrugged, her nonchalance having always been something Byul had both envied and admired about the girl. “We just need to talk about it, I think. We could talk tonight? Maybe a few beers will make it less serious and we can all say what we’re really feeling without hurting anyone.”

Byul nodded. “How did you get so wise, kid?” She asked, ruffling the woman’s hair and Hyejin glared at her, before breaking into a warm, goofy smile.

“I think we’ve all just been changing a lot lately,” Hyejin explained, and Byul smiled, proud that the younger girl had this ability to say the right thing all the time.

“I’m excited for us all to spend time together without working tonight though, it’s gonna be-“

“Guys! Help!” The distinct sound of Wheein’s laughter made Hyejin and Byul both turn into the direction of the yelling, and sure enough Wheein came bounding up to their table and quickly flopped down to seat herself between the two women, safely behind the table.

“Wheein-ah what the-“

Byul stopped talking when heard a gasp from Hyejin next to her and squeal from Wheein, and looked up to find an out of breath and dishevelled-looking Yongsun shaking her head, one of her cheeks holding a bright red lipstick mark.

“Unnie…what happened?” Byul asked with a sputtering laugh and Yongsun just shook her head again and took a seat in front of the trio of her members, eyes fixed on Wheein’s face, the younger girl looking around the bar, eyes everywhere but on Yongsun.

“She wanted to race here. And convinced Nayeon that I-“

“I want a drink, do you want a drink Hyejin-ah? I’ll go and get a drink,” Wheein rambled, making a move to leave but Hyejin just held onto her arm and kept her in place.

“Convinced Nayeon what?”

“She convinced Nayeon that the reason I was being so quiet was because I’m a super shy person who wanted to be her friend so badly that I couldn’t talk. And then Nayeon ended up…” Yongsun gestured to the lipstick mark on her cheek and Wheein let out a sputtering laugh, her hand moving quick to cover it.

“Wheein-ah, why…?” Byul asked, turning back with a mixture of confusion and amusement as she watched the younger girl bury her face in her hands. Hyejin looked as equally confused.

“Because! It was really awkward and unnie was being boring and discussing legal things the whole time with Nayeon’s stupidly attractive husband and-“

“Aw sounds like someone was a little jealous, huh Wheeinie?” Hyejin smirked, nudging the girl whose mouth hung open dramatically.

“Yah it wasn’t like that! I just-I just was bored and Nayeon thought Yongsun-unnie hated her, which she kind of did, so I told her she didn’t, she was just shy shy shy,” Wheein said, trying with all her might to purse her lips and stop her laughter from escaping when was she met Yongsun’s eyeroll. Byul and Hyejin exchanged amused glances and Byul reached over to offer Yongsun a napkin, gesturing to the woman’s cheek and Yong took it with a pout.

“Are you two always like this when we’re not around?” Hyejin asked, raising a hand to beckon a waiter over with a smile. “Can we get another round of beers and two bottles of soju, please?”

“No, Wheein’s actually a lot more annoying usually,” Yongsun said, and Wheein scoffed, moving to join Yongsun on the other side of the table. Hyejin and Byul watched on as Wheein sidled up to Yongsun and mumbled some kind of apology laced with mischievous laughter. The waiter returned, taking away the few empty cans of beer Hyejin and Byul had drunk during their time waiting, and set down the various bottles and cans Hyejin had ordered.

“Yah, is there something we’re celebrating tonight?” Yongsun asked, eyes wide and telling of her low tolerance for alcohol. Hyejin shrugged.

“You tell me. Did the meeting go well?” Hyejin asked, and Wheein nodded slowly, turning to face her and moving to rest her crossed legs on top of Yongsun’s.

“He thinks he can find a loophole; he’s just got to get his boss to check the contract over before he does anything,” Wheein said with a soft sigh. “It’s not much but I think it might finally be coming to an end.”

The meekness of Wheein’s eyes made Hyejin’s heart ache, knowing instantly that the look was a result of her not wanting to get her own hopes up in case of them shattering just as quickly, just as they usually had. She reached a hand over to poke at Wheein’s cheek fondly. “We’ve got you, whatever happens, okay?” Hyejin said, noting Yongsun’s infatuated gaze set on her best friend. “And you too, unnie. Whatever happens, with both of you, we’re here.”

Yongsun nudged Wheein’s shoulder in a ‘told you so’ gesture and reached over to open a can of beer, passing it to Wheein and doing the same for herself. “No matter what?” She said, lifting her drink and prompting the other girls to do the same.

“No matter what,” they chanted in unison, clinking their beer cans together and following with loud laughter and teasing remarks to each other, their seriousness getting lost in old inside jokes and stories about the weekend which had quickly passed them by.

“Unnie…?” Hyejin asked after watching Yongsun do her third ‘love shot’ of soju with Wheein, her face contorted into smug grin. “Shouldn’t you be taking it easy if you’re meeting your future in-laws in the morning?”

Yong’s mouth hung open, face flushed a deep crimson and eyes boring into Wheein’s as she hit the girl’s shoulder in time with her words. “Yah! Wheein-ah! I knew there was a reason you kept blackmailing me into doing shots!”

“I’m just loosening you up, Unnie. If they start with low expectations and see you hungover and grumpy, then you’ll impress them more and more when you’re sober, right?”

Yongsun frowned, crossing her arms over her chest and bottom lip jutting out comically. “If I didn’t love you, I would really hate you,” she slurred slightly, earning a goofy smile from Wheein and gasps at the confession from Byul and Hyejin. And Wheein laughed, a continuous giggling sound that made the three women look at her with confused yet amused expressions. Maybe they didn’t understand it completely, the elation Wheein was feeling, or why exactly she was bent forward, hand covering to try and stop the laughter, when nothing very funny had happened. But they joined her anyway, a mixture of love, happiness, and relief (and plenty of alcohol) rushing through their veins and putting blushes in their cheeks. It was clear that everything was always lighter when they were together, this impenetrable bubble they’d managed to fashion for themselves long before they were known as Mamamoo continuing to shut out everything bad or worrying, allowing them to exist together as authentically as possible. And it would be like that forever, they just knew it. No matter what.