Chapter 2: The Truth

Hwasa had been awake for hours when she finally heard movement from Wheein’s bedroom. She had woken only a few hours after falling asleep, her arm numb from the weight of Wheein sleeping on her, when she crept out of bed and found refuge in the living room, sitting on the floor with Wheein’s cat Ggomo making himself at home on her lap. She had remained like that for hours, not knowing how else to start making a plan of how to make Wheein feel better.

The most pressing thing, Hwasa had decided, was Wheein’s father who had always been a burden in her friend’s life ever since she had known her. With him threatening to expose what happened between Wheein and Nayeon, Hwasa knew that Wheein would unfortunately do anything to make sure that no one would ever know about it. In all honesty, Hwasa had almost erased the memory from her mind, only remembering when Wheein mentioned it.

Nayeon was Wheein’s first friend, and when Hwasa first met Wheein, the two were an impenetrable force. Of course, she wanted to make a good impression to Wheein since she wanted badly to be friends with her, so Hwasa didn’t even attempt to get in between the girls. They spent every day together; every lunchtime consisted of Wheein and Nayeon giggling over inside jokes and playful teasing while Hwasa watched in admiration of their closeness, and most weekends consisted of the trio hanging out at Wheein’s house with Nayeon and Wheein competing for the each other’s attention while Hwasa laughed from the sideline. Nayeon was beautiful and intelligent and while she was one of the most popular girls in school, she only seemed to value her friendship with Wheein, which was something Hwasa was glad of. And then the first summer of junior high came and everything changed.

Wheein was having a sleepover to celebrate her birthday, and with Wheein’s grandmother being out of town visiting her uncle, the girls were determined to have a night to remember. Nayeon had managaed to convince one of the senior boys to buy her alcohol, and Hwasa brought enough food to feed an army and soon enough, their small yet loud party had begun. Hwasa and Wheein were in the middle of dancing when Nayeon ran to the bathroom and yelled for Wheein to help her hold her hair back. And Wheein of course left to attend to her. In the minutes that Wheein was gone, a loud knock at the door made Hwasa jump, and she turned down the music then went to check who it was. Through the peephole Hwasa could vaguely make out the figure of a man, who continued to knock at the door and then called for “Jung Wheein” to open the door.

Hwasa opened it, figuring that anyone who had Wheein’s grandmother’s address and knew her name couldn’t be suspicious. The man entered and Hwasa immediately felt her stomach sink at the sight of him. He was sluggish in the way he walked and smelled of stale cigarettes and soju as he brushed past her and walked further into the house calling after Wheein. Hwasa followed him, telling him he should wait in the hallway outside, but the man only got louder and more frustrated. He entered the bathroom with Hwasa following closely behind, and they were both met with the sight of Nayeon and Wheein kissing. Reacting instinctively, Hwasa grabbed the man’s arm with all of her strength and pulled him out of the room just as he began yelling.

“You ! What’re you doing?!” The man shouted at Wheein, and the girl immediately pulled back, her eyes wide in shock as she realised who the voice belonged to. Her face paled, and she snatched her hands from where they sat comfortably on Nayeon’s waist as if she was on fire.

“Appa…” Wheein’s voice was barely a whisper, and Hwasa couldn’t help but feel sick at the thought of what she had done. With no other option, Hwasa began screaming at the man, dragging him backwards and out into the living room. She was grateful of the strong smell of alcohol he gave off; she was almost certain that she would not have been able to move him if he was sober. Not knowing what else to do, she pushed him out of the house and slammed the door shut, making sure to lock it straight away. Wheein’s father began pounding against the door with his fists, and what sounded like his feet too, yelling disgusting words tangled with Wheein’s name, and Hwasa couldn’t bear it.

“Go away or I’ll call the police!” Hwasa yelled back, earning a few violent hits against the door in protest before it went quiet and Hwasa watched the figure walk away through the peephole.

“Is he gone?” Nayeon asked quietly from behind Hwasa, making the girl jump.

“I-I think so…” Hwasa said, gulping as she noticed the whiteness of Nayeon’s face and the glassiness of her eyes. Nayeon nodded then almost robotically, she collected her things and went to leave.

“Nayeon, stay. It might not be safe,” Hwasa tried, but Nayeon shook off Hwasa’s hand from her shoulder.

“I’ll be fine.” And with that, Nayeon was gone, leaving Hwasa to tend to Wheein on her own.

She ventured back to the bathroom solemnly, not knowing what to do but she knew that Wheein needed her. The girl stood in the same place as before, with both hands on her cheeks as she stared at the floor, her breathing loud and shaky.

“Wheein-ah?” Hwasa said gently, entering the room and getting closer to her friend. The girl looked up, and as soon as their eyes met, Wheein’s eyes filled with tears as she spoke.

“What am I going to do?”

Hwasa sighed as the memories of that night flooded back to her, only broken out of her thoughts by the soft meows of Ggomo as he left the sanctuary of her lap and ran to Wheein.

“Sleep well?” Hwasa asked her friend, letting out a soft laugh s she watched her yawn animatedly. Wheein nodded as she picked up her cat and joined Hwasa on her spot on the floor. She rested her head on her friend’s shoulder and sighed softly. Hwasa waited for her friend to talk, wanting to know how she was feeling after last night, if she had heard any more from her father and what the extent of her and Yongsun’s relationship was now. But, as if she needed a reminder of why she was practically blood-related to the girl beside her, Wheein had other ideas.

“Have you eaten?” Wheein asked, looking up at Hwasa through the dishevelled strands of blue hair that sprawled across her face. Hwasa shook her head. “I’m going to die of starvation any second now,” Wheein said dramatically, holding Ggomo up to her friend. “And he’s going to be left an orphan! And he’ll see my corpse and have trauma and have to live with PTSD with a scary aunt that won’t sing him to sleep or deal with the PTSD and will eat all his chicken. Right, Hyejin-ah? Right?” Wheein continued, pouting exaggerateduly as she brought the cat’s face close to hers and rocked him back and forth. “And he doesn’t deserve that, he’s a sweet little son and he helps me smile and-“

“Yah! Jung Wheein!” Hwasa said feigning annoyance with a stern voice, proud when Wheein stopped her antics immediately. “What do you want?”

“Let me order food?”

“Really? You wanted permission? Wheein you’re an adult, you can order whatever you want,” Hwasa said with an amused shake of her head as she watched a wide smile take over Wheein’s face as she lifted her cat in the air in victory.

“I told you Hyejin is the best, Ggomo!”

***

“Did you see that Chaeyoung-unnie from school had a baby?” Wheein asked with a mouthful of fruit as she scrolled through her phone, excited when Hwasa’s mouth dropped open.

“Really?! Did she get married already?” Hwasa asked, putting a forkful of pancake into and waiting for Wheein’s response.

“No I think she cancelled the engagement, but the baby is so cute!” Wheein said, leaning over to show a picture to Hwasa who cooed adoringly until a text from Solar popped up on the screen, asking her to call her. Wheein’s face flushed pink as she shuffled awkwardly at the thought that Hwasa now knew a little more than she wanted her to.

“You can call her if you want,” Hwasa said calmly, watching Wheein’s face as she pondered the thought. She could almost hear the cogs turning inside her head. Wheein locked her phone and set it face down on the table in front of them.

“I know you wanna know about it all,” Wheein began, her eyes fixed on the grapes in her bowl as she spoke. “But you can only have two questions for now.”

“Wheein-ah,” Hwasa whined, reminded of their trainee days when Wheein would come home too tired to talk and only allow her to ask two questions about her day before she would crawl into bed. “That’s not fair.”

“It’s the rules,” Wheein said, sticking out her tongue childishly at her friend. “Or you can have no questions? That sounds better to me, anyway,” Wheein teased, and Hwasa relented.

“Okay fine. But you have to answer with more than a sentence,” Hwasa said and Wheein nodded.

“Deal.”

Hwasa clicked her tongue as she thought of what to ask, overwhelmed enough as it was with everything going on with her best friend, and not knowing where to start. She settled on the first question quite quickly, though, as it had been tormenting her all night long.

“Have you kissed Yong-unnie more than once?” Hwasa asked, embarrassed that she was asking about something so personal, but she really had to know. She heard Wheein take in a sharp breath and tilt her head slightly as she answered.

“It happened twice, once at her subscriber party and then a few weeks ago after rehearsal,” Wheein said quietly, her cheeks bright red as she talked. She could feel the intensity of Hwasa’s eyes on her, but continued speaking, knowing her friend would be dissatisfied with so little information. “The first time we were both drunk, and the second time it was only me that was drunk. And I keep thinking that the second time means more than the first because she was sober and she knew what she was doing, but when I tried to text her about it the next day, she said that I was so drunk that I kissed because I missed her cheek when we said goodbye. But I remember everything fine.”

Hwasa in a breath as she digested what Wheein had said. It truly sounded surreal that their Yongsun, their leader had kissed her best friend and she hadn’t known about it. And that she had kissed her once when she was sober, too. She was definitely going to speak to her tomorrow, no matter what Wheein thought was best.

“Okay.” Was all Hwasa could respond as she prepared for her next question. “Do you think you like girls then?” It was personal, the most personal Hwasa could get, but she wanted to know where her best friend’s head was at, and since she had been refraining from telling her some of the biggest things happening in her life, Hwasa wanted to show her that she could be there for her no matter what.

Wheein’s shoulders tensed at the blunt question. She looked over at Hwasa and knew that it wasn’t intended crudely, that she had her best interest at heart, but Wheein still shook her head. “No. I-I don’t know. I like men, you know I do. It’s just sometimes better with certain people, and I don’t know how else to explain it. Sometimes the certain people are girls.”

“Okay,” Hwasa said simply, satisfied with her answer and going back to shovelling mouthfuls of fruit into . She looked over at Wheein who was biting the inside of her cheek, her dimple on full show. Hwasa nudged her playfully. “You know nothing will ever make me not like you, Wheeinie.”

Wheein rolled her eyes and scoffed, but Hwasa noticed the way her friend’s shoulders dropped in relief. “Yeah, I’m never getting rid of you, huh?” Wheein said. Her phone began ringing then, and Wheein sighed as she picked it up and went into the kitchen before she answered it.

“Hello?” Wheein said, biting at her fingernail as she spoke.

“Wheein-ah? You didn’t answer my text,” Yongsun said, her voice sounded a little urgent.

“Sorry I was busy. Everything ok?”

“Yes. Well…no. Can you come over?”

Wheein sighed quietly, knowing that she probably wasn’t in the right state of mind to have anything else thrown at her, but also knowing that she found it incredibly difficult to deny her bandmate of anything. “Hyejin is here right now, but I can be there later? Is that ok?”

“Yeah.” Yongsun replied, and Wheein could sense that she was disappointed with her answer. “Text me when you’re not busy anymore.”

“Ok see y-“ Was all Wheein managed to say before Yongsun hung up. She tutted, throwing her phone onto the kitchen side and heading back into the living room. She slumped down on her sofa and let out a long breath.

“What did unnie want?”

“I have to go see her but that means I’m gonna have to shower and get dressed and look like a normal human being,” Wheein whined dramatically. Hwasa turned to Wheein with a smirk and single brow raised suggestively.

“Wanna look good for Yongsun-ah, huh?”

“I hate you,” Wheein deadpanned, then moved to look at the ceiling, avoiding Hwasa’s teasing expression.

“Need me to help you pick an outfit? Or maybe she’d like you better without clothes-“

“Yah! Hyejin-ah! Too far,” Wheein yelled, earning childish laughter from Hwasa which didn’t cease for longer than necessary, making it inevitable for Wheein to join in because of the infectious sound. And while she was worried about her father and her feelings and how she was ever going to deal with Yongsun derailing her life, God did it feel good to feel free for a minute.