Chapter 8: The Moment

Yongsun put the last of the bags in the back of the car and let out an accomplished sigh, turning back to face the three girls stood joking amongst themselves. “Yah, I thought this was supposed to be a short trip, Hyejin-ah. Why do you have like five bags?”

“They’re presents for people,” Hyejin said with a yawn, scratching her head nonchalantly, making Yong shake her head at the girl’s carefree nature.

“Ready to go?” Byul asked, receiving a nod from each of the women and making her way to the drivers’ seat. Hyejin got in the passenger side, feet already free of her shoes and crossed comfortably on the dashboard before Byul had even the car.

“I don’t know why I agreed to let them come,” Wheein said with a fond shake of her head and slight chuckle, the sound of Byul trying to convince Hyejin to put her feet down unsuccessfully making Yong laugh along with her.

“Come on,” Yongsun said, dragging Wheein by the hand and into the car with a wide, excited smile. When Wheein had initially asked her to come with her to Jeonju so Nayeon’s husband could go over the contract, Yongsun had been excited, agreeing to the idea of a short getaway with the girl, a much-needed break from the back-to-back schedules they had been having lately. It was only when the others caught onto their plan when asking their manager why they had a few days off, that Yongsun realised her plan of a trip with Wheein would turn into a great big Mamamoo adventure.

“You can’t leave us behind, Unnie. Just because Wheein is your favourite now,” Byul had whined, adding a dramatic pout for effect, with Hyejin catching on quickly.

“Yeah! You can’t take my best friend away from me, and especially not to my hometown, without me!” Hyejin said, frowning as though she had been wronged in a way she had never been before, noting Yong’s shocked and uncertain expression, then giving her a playful smirk.

“Fine! Fine, you can come,” Yong relented, rolling her eyes in annoyance when Hyejin and Byul hi-fived in victory. “But you’re driving, Byul-ah. And you’re bringing food, Hyejin-ah. Oh, and you can tell Wheein yourselves,” Yongsun said firmly, making both of the women nod along in understanding.

It hadn’t ended up being the worst idea in the world, Yongsun decided, with full of the snacks Hyejin had brought and her head bopping to the playlist Byul had made especially for the trip. It also didn’t hurt that since she didn’t have to drive, she was free to look, touch and hold Wheein as much as she wanted. Although Wheein would argue that this wasn’t such a big bonus since the moment they even caught eachother’s eyes, groans and fake retching noises coming from the front seats ruined the moment completely.

“Yah! We weren’t even doing anything this time!” Wheein said after the hundredth time Hyejin had turned around to fake gag at the pair.

“You looked happy, it’s not fair,” Hyejin said simply, and Byul chuckled from the driver’s seat, glancing at Wheein pouting in the rear-view mirror, with Yongsun as oblivious to her surroundings as ever, staring out of the window with a content smile on her face.

“Just because you’re not getting any,” Wheein mumbled, but apparently it was still loud enough for the whole car to hear. And for Yongsun to see fit that Wheein deserved a light shove.

“Neither are you!” Yong said, her face flushed pink, earning a hearty (and somewhat evil) laugh from Hyejin.

“Hey, you’re supposed to be on my side,” Wheein whispered, earning a nonchalant shrug from Yong who looked at her with a serious face.

“I’m on the side of truth, Wheein-ah,” She said, and Byul let out a sputtering laugh at the woman’s dead-pan response. Wheein pouted, embarrassed that she’d been called out, and more so that Hyejin and Byul know knew the extent of her current life, so turned her attention to her smug best friend.

“Anyway, how is Woogie-oppa lately, Hyejin-ah?” Wheein asked with a smirk, enjoying the scowl that Hyejin gave her, along with a middle finger thrown in her direction. Byul gasped, and Yongsun looked at the girl expectantly, knowing better than to pry like Wheein had.

“You’re seeing him again? After last time?” Byul asked, eyes flitting between the road and the passenger seat, surprise evident in her voice. Hyejin sighed.

“Kinda. He’s different this time, he really is. He’s even looking after Onsoon for me this weekend,” the girl said, a hint of dreaminess in her words that Wheein didn’t miss. Yong observed quietly, never knowing what to say when these kinds of topics came up in the group, and especially since it was Hyejin. Yongsun’s boldness with words had always seemed to clash with Hyejin’s soft and delicate nature, and the two had an unwritten agreement that they kept their opinions to themselves mostly. It didn’t mean that Yongsun didn’t care, though. In fact, she was the first one to request a day off and usher the other members to Hyejin’s house with chicken and wine the last time it went pear-shaped with Woogie, and it was that kind of gesture that meant Hyejin held Yongsun’s opinion to the highest regard, even if she didn’t share it often.

“Just because he looks after your tortoise, doesn’t mean we forgive him for hurting you,” Wheein said, crossing her arms.

“Uh, I think it does, Wheein-ah. If I forgave Yongsun-unnie, then you can forgive him,” Hyejin said, looking back to give Yongsun a soft smile, letting the woman know she held no grievances. Wheein opened to rebut the girl, but found herself lost for words.

“Wait why would you need to forgive Yongsun-unnie?” Byul frowned, and Yongsun shook her head, clapping once.

“It doesn’t matter, okay? And we’re not going to pass judgement on eachother’s personal lives unless there’s a reason to besides our personal feelings, yes?” Yong said, watching expectantly until all three women had nodded in agreement.

“Sorry,” Wheein said softly, leaning forward for Hyejin’s hand and smiling goofily when the girl pecked her palm.

“I’m sorry too, honey,” Hyejin said, squeezing Wheein’s hand once before letting go and turning her attention to the radio. “Can we put on my music now, unnie?”

Byul sighed. “I swear if it’s just the same five songs on repeat like last time, I will kill you, Hyejin-ah,” Byul said, and Hyejin reached forward to plug her phone in, feigning innocence from whatever Byul was trying to accuse her of.

“You okay?” Wheein asked quietly, drawing Yongsun’s attention away from the passing fields and buildings outside. The woman was so easily distracted. Yongsun nodded.

“I’m excited, I love getting out of Seoul,” Yongsun said, her smile pushing her cheeks up so high that her eyes were practically closed. Wheein scrunched her nose up at the sight, endeared by the woman’s ability to so quickly forgive and forget, and matched her smile with one of her own.

“Thanks for coming with me,” Wheein said, squeezing the woman’s thigh lightly and chuckling at the way she nodded with a gulp.

“Thanks for inviting me,” Yongsun said, leaning her head on Wheein’s shoulder and sighing contently.

“Oh unnie, I forgot to tell you that you’re sleeping on the floor tonight.” Hyejin’s words and the sound of Byul’s yells of refusal made the two women in the back burst out in laughter. So maybe they might not have gotten the serene road trip they’d first been excited for, but the wholeness they felt whenever they were together as a group made up for all of it, even if the curse words hurtling between the front seats made for quite appalling background music.

**

“So we’ll see you at the bar tomorrow night?” Byul confirmed, arm resting comfortably on the open window of her car. Wheein and Yongsun nodded, slinging their bags over their shoulders.

“You definitely remember the way, Hyejin-ah?” Wheein asked, and Hyejin waved her hand at the girl with a cocky smirk.

“They don’t call me Jeonju Girl for no reason,” She said, and Wheein rolled her eyes.

“No one calls you that, dummy. We’ll text you when everything’s finished tomorrow, okay?” Wheein said, waving the girls goodbye and laughing at Hyejin’s attempt to act shocked.

“Enjoy the floor tonight, Byul-ah,” Yong added with a mischievous glint in her eye, waving as Byul groaned and waved back half-heartedly, then drove away, the sound of Hyejin’s teasing laughter lingering behind for a moment.

Yongsun flashed Wheein a bright, excited smile, the same one she’d been wearing for the entirety of the car ride there, and nodded to the building before them.

“This is where you grew up?” Yongsun asked, and Wheein nodded, leading the girl to the front door and reaching under one of the sculptures her mother had crafted in the front garden, retrieving the door key and unlocking the door with ease.

“It was my grandmother’s house, my mom moved in after she passed. It’s weird seeing my mom here instead of my grandmother though, she didn’t really stay here much when I was a kid.” Wheein led Yongsun to the living room, gesturing for the girl to put down her bags and they both let out a sigh of relief. Yongsun looked around curiously, her eyes wide and interested, a stark difference from the soft and dozy look on Wheein’s face.

“Where’s your room?”

Wheein grabbed Yong’s hand and dragged her towards the door at the end of the hallway, giving her a bashful smile as she opened the door. “My grandmother was kind of obsessed with me…and I never had the heart to redecorate when she looked so happy showing it to me one day after school,” Wheein said, a hint of sadness lacing her words, making Yongsun squeeze her hand gently.

“You were such a model,” Yongsun said with an amused smile, head turning in all directions as she took in the various pictures of a young Wheein littering the walls, each one sitting in a fancy-looking frame. Various trophies sat on the shelves, some for spelling bees, others naming Wheein as class president and honour roll student, each one stretching Yong’s mouth into a wider smile. “Wah, I haven’t seen one of these in a long time,” Yongsun said, bending down to inspect the cassette player and various tapes stacked next to it. She clicked the play button, the sound of a ballad Yong didn’t recognise bouncing off the walls, the slight static crackling of the speakers making everything seem cosier somehow. “I like it,” Yongsun said with a nod, admiring the room with a spin, then settling on Wheein’s bed, the collection of thick knitted blankets feeling soft under Yong’s hands.

“My grandmother knitted these one winter when our heater broke,” Wheein said, chuckling softly at the memory as she joined Yongsun. “She used to wrap me up in like all six of them and call me her ‘sushi baby’,” Wheein said, and Yong let out a laugh, moving to sit up, pulling one of the blankets with her, determined to make the longing in Wheein’s voice disappear.

“Wanna be my ‘sushi baby’ now?” Yong asked, already covering Wheein with all the blankets she could find, moving to hover over Wheein to make the process easier, a leg settling on each side of the girl carefully. Wheein laughed loudly, tickled by the way the woman worked seriously, her tongue poking out of in determination. Wheein wriggled against Yong’s attack, unable to hold back her amusement.

“You’re gonna suffocate me under here, unnie,” Wheein laughed, and Yong paused, sitting comfortably on top of Wheein with wide open in shock.

“Yah, are you calling me heavy, Wheein-ah? Am I fat?” Yongsun said, poking Wheein all over, enjoying the way the laughter that left her lips was loud and free, her cheeks pink with the sudden attack.

“No, unnie. Stop!” Wheein whined through laughter, reaching for Yongsun’s hands and pulling on them so the woman fell forward. And yeah, it had definitely stopped the attack, but Wheein didn’t exactly intend for Yongsun’s chest to be pressed against her face, the woman’s loud heartbeat acting as a steady metronome to the music still humming through the room. Yong pushed herself up, brushing her hair from her face and looking down at Wheein with a dopey smile, face slightly red and eyes shining with something Wheein hadn’t seen before.

“Your parents aren’t home until tomorrow, right?” Yongsun asked softly, making Wheein gulp.

“They’re staying at my step-dad’s parents’ until tomorrow night,” Wheein said, hands playing with the beltloops on Yongsun’s jeans, eyes avoiding Yongsun’s gaze, suddenly shy at the suggestive question. Yongsun stopped Wheein’s movement, intwining her fingers with the younger girl’s and pulling her up. They had been close like this before, but that was early on, when Wheein feelings were laced with anxieties and insecurity, when Yongsun didn’t know what she wanted. Yongsun knew now, though. They both did.

“You really are pretty, Wheein-ah,” Yongsun said, linking her hands behind Wheein’s neck and pulling the girl in for a kiss, their smiles meeting gently and morphing into a slow, purposeful kiss in no time. Wheein sighed softly against Yongsun’s lips, her arms wrapping securely around Yongsun’s waist, pulling the girl in even closer.

“You’re prettier,” Was all Wheein could manage to say in the small gap between kisses, the comment apparently amusing the older woman as she laughed into their kiss. It was infectious; the laughter and the feeling. Soon, both women had given up on the heated kiss and were instead clutching each other in fits of giggles.

“It’s still a little weird, don’t you think?” Yongsun said, swallowing in an effort to steady her erratic heart, brushing Wheein’s bangs out of her eyes and running her thumb over the girl’s cheek soothingly.

“A little. But it’s a good weird. It’s exciting,” Wheein said, leaning into the girl’s touch and rest her chin in the palm of the woman’s hand, smiling up at Yongsun goofily. Yongsun smirked.

“Exciting? In what way, Wheeinie?” Yongsun cooed, the mischief in her eyes and the slightly raised eyebrow making Wheein gasp and hit the girl’s shoulder.

“Unnie! You’re gross,” Wheein said, making Yong cackle in a way that was definitely not cute, but still made Wheein smile all the same.

“Yah you hit me so much these days, is that something you like doing too?” Yongsun asked, and Wheein buried her face into the woman’s chest with a whine.

“This is my childhood bedroom, and you’re making jokes like that?” Wheein asked exasperatedly, and Yongsun the girl’s hair slowly, her laugh low and guilty.

“Fine, fine. I just thought that you were hinting at something earlier, in the car…” Yongsun said, her voice trailing off.

“When I was talking about ‘not getting any’?” Wheein asked, and Yongsun nodded. Wheein smiled, scrunching her nose up at the innocence now present on Yong’s face, her eyes soft and vulnerable. “I don’t care about that.” Wheein paused, correcting herself with a shake of her head. “Well, it’s not that I don’t care…just, if it happens, it happens, yeah?”

“Yeah. I like that,” Yongsun said, her lips and looking at Wheein’s; the way her lipstick was now smudged slightly made her heart skip proudly. She leaned forward, pecking the Wheein’s lips and enjoying the way the younger girl seems to chase her as she pulled away. Their eyes met and neither looked away, as if it were the first time they were seeing each other so clearly, so completely. Yongsun eventually broke the moment with a simple kiss pressed against Wheein’s cheek, then climbed down from where she had been straddling Wheein and stood up, stretching her arms out dramatically. “Can we go for a walk?”

Wheein frowned. “Now?” Wheein asked, glancing out of the window. The afternoon had turned dark, with big, grey clouds swimming in the sky, making everything look a little sad. Yongsun nodded.

“I wanna see the neighbourhood. Please? We don’t get to go out much like this, just us…” Yongsun’s eyes were big and pleading, her lips pushed out in a pout, and Wheein swore if there were other people around, she would have teased Yongsun to no end. But they were alone, and Wheein found herself going to her wardrobe and chucking a hoodie in Yong’s direction with an overdramatic eyeroll.

“It’s gonna be cold,” Wheein said, unable to hide her grin as Yong pulled on the old hoodie, never having thought she would ever see the woman wearing the logo of her middle school choir, and thanking her old music teacher for getting the sizing wrong and ordering everyone a large size all those years ago. If it weren’t for that, Wheein wouldn’t be biting her lip at the sight of Yong’s hands disappearing into the sleeves, or reaching for her non-existent hand and pulling her close, smiling at her like she was wearing the most attractive outfit ever. “Do I need to bring treats with me?”

“Huh?” Yong’s confusion was evident in her deep frown and Wheein laughed.

“I thought you usually take treats when you walk your dog,” Wheein said innocently, and Yongsun’s mouth hung open in shock, pushing Wheein away from her and crossing her arms.

“I’m not your dog, Jung Wheein,” Yongsun said, and Wheein rolled her eyes, enjoying teasing the woman a little too much.

“Come on dummy, let’s go,” Wheein said, dragging the woman out of the room and towards the door. Yongsun planted her feet firmly on the ground, making Wheein laugh loudly. “Fine, I’m sorry. Okay?” Wheein relented, her aegyo creeping into her words and making the corners of Yongsun’s mouth turn up. “Forgive me?” Wheein’s exaggerated pout and the way her head nudged against Yongsun’s seemed to do the trick, the older woman letting out a sigh of defeat and kissing the girl’s forehead sweetly.

“And you call me the puppy,” Yongsun mumbled as she linked her fingers with Wheein’s and opened the front door, the cold wind hitting them instantly. Wheein whined, pulling her hood over her head and turning to do the same for Yongsun, cooing at the way the older woman’s round head resembled the moon.

The pair made their way out into the cool night, clinging to each other both for warmth and comfort. They walked quietly for a while, stopping every now and then when Yongsun would point at a random building and ask what it was with a smile on her face that Wheein found hard to deny. It was nice, Wheein decided, letting herself become filled with everything that could make her happy in that moment; she was home, she was going to fix things, she was walking around her old neighbourhood with the girl who made her feel like she was worth more than the stars themselves, and she somehow knew that everything would be easier from now on. Wheein’s smile was bright in a way that made everything in Yongsun’s body melt. Crossing the road arm in arm, illuminated by the soft orange glow of the streetlights above them and with the beginnings of a rain shower wetting their faces in a dewy mask, Yongsun pulled the girl to a stop.

“You’re smiling really big.” It was a simple observation, but Yongsun needed to share it, wanted to acknowledge the girl’s happiness in public as though it would make it last longer. Wheein shook her head in embarrassment, her lips still stretched wide and teeth on full show. Yongsun wanted to tell Wheein that she loved her teeth, loved that they weren’t perfect and that the girl had never wanted to fix them, for good reason. But she didn’t tell her, deciding that such compliments could be saved for other days, ones that weren’t as electric and addicting as this one. “Why?” Was all she said instead.

“You.” Wheein ducked her head, but her eyes didn’t leave Yongsun’s, not wanting to miss the woman realise how important she was. A car drove past them, right through a puddle neither one of the women had noticed, the action soaking the girls’ feet and making them jump, but not once did their eyes break contact. Wheein only moved closer to the woman, reaching up on her tip toes to pull Yongsun’s fallen hood back over her already damp hair.

“Yah, Wheein-ah,” Yongsun said, and although it sounded like it was intended to be teasing, the softness of the woman’s words made Wheein’s hand falter, heart skip. She her lips, tasting the rain. “I love you.” It was bold, said with a surrendering shake of her head, as though Yongsun had just realised that what she was feeling was inescapable, was something that she needed to share, something she wanted to be theirs.

Wheein’s face softened, pink and red flushing through her cheeks and eyes beginning to burn alongside her heart. She thought of the people before Yong, the ones who had said those words fleetingly, those who had never proven it, the ones who had sworn by it but acted against it. She knew it was different now, knew that the girl standing in the rain, in her clothes, in her neighbourhood which hadn’t felt like home in a long time, was a complete anomaly. She was someone whose entire existence didn’t make sense to her when they’d first met, but now she couldn’t imagine not knowing what every look, every word, every movement really meant.

“You’re crying,” Yongsun said, a cold hand coming up to wipe under Wheein’s eye gently. Wheein laughed, something light and free, and she couldn’t help but wrap her arms around the woman and squeeze tightly, as though she wanted to be as close to her heart as possible. She pulled away after a minute, the rain having soaked through them both completely, everything damp and a little cold, but nothing able to ruin Wheein’s mood.

“I love you too. I really do,” Wheein said finally, and it was Yong’s turn to smile now, her cheeks pushed up and making her eyes crinkle in the sweetest way.

“Wait,” Yongsun said suddenly, pulling away from Wheein to reach into her pocket, pulling out a polaroid camera and not waiting for Wheein to realise what she was doing as she pointed the camera at the girl before her, and the flash of the camera made Wheein blink rapidly, disoriented.

“When did you even grab that…”

Yongsun ignored Wheein’s question, saving the photo and snapping another, this time of the both of them, then returning the camera to her pocket. “I wanted to save it.”

Wheein sighed, shaking her head in fondness and leaning up to kiss Yongsun sweetly, enjoying the way Yongsun didn’t flinch at the contact, despite them being very much in public. “Shall we go home?”

Yongsun nodded, taking the girl’s hand in her own and pulling her along excitedly, the rain coming down harder and making both girls squeal at the onslaught. “Yah, why are you letting me lead the way? I don’t know where we are,” Yongsun laughed after a minute, squinting in the darkness as if it would help her see any better. Wheein sighed dreamily, her eyes playful and sparkling.

“I’d let you lead me anywhere, unnie,” Wheein said, cuddling into the girl and not minding that she was now shaking slightly from the cold, and Yongsun gasped.

“O-Oh my God,” Yongsun said, her dumbfounded expression making Wheein laugh as she pulled her along, wanting to be somewhere warm and dry now. “You’re gross,” Yongsun whined, following Wheein into the familiar-looking driveway of Wheein’s home. Wheein stopped, turning back and tucking her hair behind her ears, and flashed Yongsun a deeply unflattering smile, her cheeks full and her chin doubled.

“I’m not gross,” Wheein said, her voice contorted as she tried to kiss the woman’s face desperately, ignoring Yongsun’s squeals of protest.

“Yah, how am I in love with you?” Yongsun said loudly, and Wheein’s face softened, expression turning back to normal as she brought her hands up to soothe her aching cheeks, a fleeting laugh leaving her lips.

“Because I’m too cute not to love?” Wheein suggested, her hopeful expression and the way she was swaying slightly on the spot making Yongsun let out an endeared coo.

“Yeah, that must be it,” Yongsun smiled, nodding to the front door. “So are we just gonna stay out here and drown or shall we go inside and get warm and dry?”

Wheein frowned, acting as though she was deep in thought, an exaggerated pout making her portrayal all the more believable. “I don’t mind drowning with you,” She said after a beat, every muscle in her face morphing into an arrogant smirk.

“Jung Wheein,” Yongsun said softly, leaning forward and letting her lips brush against the girl’s ear, enjoying the way her delicate breaths made the girl shiver. “Shut the hell up, will you?”

So maybe it wasn’t the most romantic statement ever, or even a remotely polite one, but Wheein knew for certain that she was in love when she realised she wanted to see the lightness and playfulness in Yongsun’s eyes stay that way forever, even if it were at her expense. She knew it was love when instead of adhering to the woman’s words like she would have in past relationships by shutting up entirely, Wheein simply rolled her eyes and laughed and let the woman inside her home, giving her an old t-shirt to change into and not minding that her wet clothes were making her bed damp too. She knew it was love when Yongsun smiled at her when their eyes met in the bathroom mirror a few hours later, mouths spilling toothpaste foam all over sink and laughter pinching at their cheeks. She knew it was love when Yongsun whispered the words into kisses pressed softly against her skin, and everything felt safe and warm and adoring. Wheein let it all happen with an easy smile and reciprocated mumblings… and suddenly the world didn’t feel so unpredictable anymore.