(Poop! I thought I added the first chapter. Here it is now)

Maeve's therapist had suggested she attend a grief support meeting after the death of her father 8 months ago but she had resisted. It wasn't until her birthday was a week away that she finally got the address of a local support group from her therapist. Even then she didn't decide to attend until the last minute, showing up fifteen minutes late. It was the day after her birthday that she finally went.

The weather that week had matched her mood, dark, dreary, and full of clouds. She had grabbed an umbrella and headed out the door, the church where the group met was a short 10 minute walk from her studio apartment and she walked as slow as possible, still unsure whether she wanted to go or not.

When Maeve reached the church she stood outside, her umbrella open and hiding her from passersby. It was a small church, weathered red brick and wooden shutters whose blue paint flaked. A window looked in on a group of people sitting in chairs in a circle. Most were older people but a few chairs were taken up by a couple of people that looked to be her own age. She had turned 37 the day before. She didn't celebrate. She'd gone to work as usual and when she was done over she'd gone home and eaten a solo dinner of leftovers before taking a shower and curled up in bed, staring at the glow in the dark stars that had been left by the previous tenant.

As she looked in the window, an older woman dressed in a gray sweater and jeans had noticed her and with a smile waved her in. Closing her umbrella, Maeve mounted the steps that led to the door and went inside. There were signs that directed her to the meeting and she followed them.

As she reached the room she could smell wet wool and stale, burnt coffee. Her hard soled rain boots echoed and everyone turned to look at her.

"Welcome!", the woman that had waved her in said as she stood and walked over to her. "We've been going for a bit but you can join us all the same. There's cookies and coffee", she pointed at a cart on the side that held an old style coffee carafe and some open packages of grocery store bakery cookies. Maeve hesitated once more, then propped her umbrella next to some others in a corner before she stopped by the cart and fixed a cup of coffee and found an empty chair between an elderly man in a nappy sweater vest and brown polyester pants and a woman that looked to be somewhere between 40 and 50 with brown frizzy hair.

 Maeve didn't drink the coffee, holding the cup to warm up her hands. It was quiet for a few minutes then the man next to her started to speak in a soft quavery voice.

"Today I had a doctor's appointment. My wife used to call and set them up for me and make sure I got there on time. I forgot about the appointment and because I missed it, I can't get in for another month. I needed a check-up so I could refill my heart medicine but now I can't get it. After I remembered I called to see if I could still come in but the receptionist was rude and made me cry. I feel so helpless without my Susie." He sniffled and wiped his eyes with a wadded up Kleenex.

The woman in charge of the meeting offered a few suggestions, including a free clinic that could get him in as a walk-in, making it possible for him to still get his refill. He thanked her and sipped at his own coffee.

"We have a new member. Would you like to introduce yourself and say a few words about how you ended up here?", the leader said and turned to look at Maeve.

Maeve cleared and stared into her cooling cup of coffee.

"Ummmm….I'm….. Maeve. My therapist said I should come here….. so here I am. I almost didn't come tonight but it's not like I had anywhere else to be." Maeve's tone was harsh and she blinked rapidly as she kept her gaze down.

The leader, who had a bland name like Jane or Jenny (something like that, Maeve hadn't really paid much attention when her therapist had told her) nodded at her. "Take your time,dear. Grief is a process and everyone moves at a different pace." She took a sip of her own coffee and looked around the room. Her eyes landed on a man that looked as withdrawn as Maeve and she waited until he looked up at her.

"How are you doing today, Choong Jae?" The woman stumbled over his unfamiliar name. "You had a lot to say last week and I was wondering if you had managed to work through any of the issues you were having."

His eyes, a shade of brown that would probably be beautiful if they weren't so bloodshot, went glossy with tears and shook his head.

"Today is worse. I woke up and I could swear I smell my grandma cooking breakfast in the kitchen. I almost fell out of bed trying to get to the kitchen and when I got there, it was empty……" He too held a coffee cup but it was crumpled in his large hands. "When I realized it was just a dream I sat down in the middle of the living and cried until I made myself sick. I just miss her so much." His voice got thick and it was obvious he was about to cry.

 Jane (Maeve decided that's what her therapist had said and a name tag sticker on her shirt confirmed it) got up from her chair and walked to the snack cart and grabbed a stack of napkins before she went over and knelt in front of the distraught man.

"It's okay to miss her. You loved her so much that it's like a piece of your heart is missing but you will always have the memories you made with her." Jane reached up and used a napkin to wipe the tears that had started to fall from his eyes. The rest of the people in the circle sat silently, letting Choong Jae have his moment of grief.

Maeve averted her eyes, feeling uncomfortable and sympathetic all at once. As she watched the crying man start to calm down, she felt like she had seen enough and stood to leave.

"Did you have something to share with us, Maeve?", Jane said as she tucked a napkin into Choong Jae's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"No…..no. I just….. remembered…. That I have somewhere to be", Maeve said as she walked jerkily to where she'd left her umbrella and practically ran out of the room. 

Outside it had started to rain harder than before and a gust of wind flipped her umbrella inside out as soon as she opened it.

"Goddammit!", she screamed, more mad at the way she had almost broken down than the weather related mishap. She started to walk fast, then run as she headed back to her apartment.

Water dripped from her hair and clothes as she struggled with her key and once she got her door open she walked to the bathroom, shedding her wet clothes as she went. Once she reached the sanctuary of her small, white tiled bathroom she turned the shower on full blast as hot as it would go and stood under the stinging spray and cried. Here, no one would know.