Irene must’ve been too exhausted crying her heart out once Seulgi left their house to end to Krystal. The act caused her to be exhausted and succumbed to the overwhelming protest of her body to take a rest. And she is mentally scolding herself for such. Not when she woke up at 3 am, hours after went out. Her instinct told her to feel the younger’s spot on their bed. Once her hand made in contact with the sheets, she frowned when she felt coldness against her palm, far cry from the usual warmth that greeted her hand. This made her heartache, especially once realization kicked in that her beloved have not yet returned.  She felt her eyes sting as tears started forming in them once again. She sits on the bed with her back against the headboard and brought her knees against her chest. Her cheeks against her knees as her dams have been opened to their full capacity. She stayed in that position for a good ten minutes before her ears picked up some kind of strange sound, the sound of jets of water hitting the ground from above as well as muffled murmur and hiccups getting drowned in it. This causes her to get up and out of the bed, to gain a better hearing of the strange sounds. She is trying to decipher what or where exactly it is coming from. She walked slowly as the sound is getting nearer and nearer. She frowned once her feet led her in front of her bathroom door. The previous grief turned into fear in an instant as her hand immediately gets a hold of the knob and twist it. The sight that welcomes Irene shattered her heart.

***

Seulgi never wanted complications in her life. She just wanted a peaceful life with the woman she loves by her side as her wife, two or three kids, maybe a cat as a pet, and a nice and modest house as their home. Back when she was a child, she envisioned that future as the perfect one for her. Yet it seems fate has another plan for her. 

Back then, she thought that the future she envisioned would be with Irene, the woman she loved since she was a child. But a lot of things happened and her life did not go the way she would’ve wanted to. She lost all hope of ever having that happily ever after with Irene back when she was still in college. After all that happened between them, how could she?

Then when she lost hope of ever finding someone else, Krystal came into the picture. The girl came into her sullen life like a storm, disrupting her once peaceful existence. However, Krystal is a special kind of storm. She is a catastrophe that meddled with Seulgi’s life however at the end of it, she is also the rainbow that painted it with different colors. With the girl’ Seulgi sound another reason to smile and laugh again. She found another meaning in her life.

When everything was going well with Krystal, life messes with her once again. She found herself at a crossroads after her parent’s death. One path would make her parent's last wish come true but it leads her back to Irene, an idea that she buried at the deepest corner of her mind. Another would make her continue living in the blissful bubble that she is in right at that moment with Krystal, her savior, and light.

In the end, she chose the one who would make her the dutiful daughter that she is.

Life after that has never been easy. Living and coexisting with someone who hurt managed to hurt you and trample on your feelings.

Never did she imagined that she will have a redo at it. Life gave her another chance with Irene this time. The past heartaches have been buried and she saw another sunrise at her horizon. Yet, life is still not through with her. Just as she thought that everything is smooth sailing from then on, life ed her up once again when Krystal reappeared in her life.

And now she is torn between the growing feelings she has for Krystal, the love she has for Irene, and the guilt of hurting both women because of her indecisiveness.

Everything was a blur after what happened with Krystal that night. Seulgi just found herself, telling two of her bodyguards to take the girl to a hotel and make sure that she is well taken off. Then she told the other two to take her home. Her voice, void of any emotion in them as her hands which she hid inside her coat pocket tremble against her will. It did not take long for her to arrive home. Her feet automatically brought her to their room and found Irene sleeping on her side. Silently her feet led her to the bed’s side, and her heart got smashed into millions of tiny pieces once saw the tear streaks staining her wife’s face. She tried to reach out to touch the girl’s face but when her fingers are about an inch, she halted and formed a closed fist instead. She does not have the right not after what she had done that night.

She turned her back on Irene and made it to their shared bathroom. Not bothering about anything else, she turned the shower knob. Then unconsciously, Seulgi loses all the strength she has left and sit in the corner, letting the cold water flow against her body while hoping to wash away the sins that she committed that night. As she sits there hugging both of her knees, a lot of thoughts swirling in her mind. And voices started overwhelming her tears mainly ones that telling her how she is such a vile and despicable person for hurting two beautiful souls. For having a treacherous heart who cannot decide between the two.

“I’m sorry Joohyun.”

***

That is the scene that welcomed Irene once she opened the door of the bathroom.  Seulgi pale and shivering while still in the clothes she had when she went out. She is slumped at the corner of their massive bathroom and water from the showerhead soaking her body completely. She was speaking incomprehensively as her teeth chatter so much that it almost made the older wince. They do have a hot shower but it seems that Seulgi has been in here for long that the amount of hot water she used was already drained causing the shower to release out cold water instead or she never bothered to choose a hot shower instead. Either of the two the situation is not looking good the way Irene sees it.

“Seul baby…” She tried calling to her wife yet Seulgi remained in the same state, not even the faintest hint that she recognized or even more, heard her voice. The younger still has that faraway look on her face. As she continues muttering to herself while her teeth chatter uncontrollably.

This caused Irene to crouch down and face her wife and touched her face using her hands. It made her wince at how Seulgi’s skin feels so icy. At first her the cogs and knobs of her brain are starting to turn, filling her mind with questions yet she pushed all of her questions at the back of her mind. The only thought that she wants to occupy her head is to get her wife out of the bathroom and to get her to warm up. At this rate, her wife might experience hypothermia. She eagerly gets closer to the younger and placed the younger’s limp arm into her shoulder. The action causing her face to get closer to Seulgi’s coincidentally making her ear closer to her as well.

“I’m sorry Joohyun. I did not mean to kiss her.”

And it shattered Irene even more to be hearing such words coming from the love of her life.  Her eyes became misty yet she willed herself not to. Seulgi’s wellbeing is much more important at this point and she would not forgive herself if anything will happen to the girl in her arms just because she let herself be carried away by her feelings.  Shoving those thoughts aside, she tried to lift the girl up from where she was slouched. At first, she failed a few time because Seulgi is taller and weigh a few pounds more than her yet it did not hinder the smaller girl. She gathers all her strength and alas it did the trick. Without wasting even a second more, Irene brought the frail girl onto the bed, not minding the trail of water left on the floor or the way the bed started soaking up the residual water flowing down from both of their bodies.  As soon as she did, she grabbed her phone and called Jisoo who thankfully is on duty at the hospital.

“I’ll be there in ten. Make sure that you get her dry and warmed up as much as you can.”

That was the last she heard from the doctor as she worked her way with her wife. With any kind of modesty thrown off the window, she immediately took off the younger’s clothes and cocooned her with the sheets hoping that the act can alleviate the situation, unfortunately, it did not.  Seulgi is still shaking fervently and mumbling incoherent words. This causes Irene to throw all of her inhibitions away, as she strips herself and went inside the blanket, fully encasing her wife against inside her body. She has read somewhere that body is a great way to warm someone up and she is hoping that it will work this time around. But being this close to Seulgi also means that Irene would hear the endless strings of apologies coming from the younger.

“I’m sorry Joohyun.”

They stayed like that for a few minutes, with Irene’s heart breaking piece by piece by her wife’s cries of agony.  As each word left her wife’s mouth in between her seething teeth, she holds the younger tighter and tighter