The day of the vacation came too soon. At least that is what Irene felt. She just finished zipping her luggage and is wondering how Seulgi is doing with hers. While she was at it, her mind drifted back to a few days before. She smiled at the thought. After the conversation she had with Solar about what happened between her and Seulgi, she came home intending to talk to her wife to clear any doubts and guilt that she is feeling.

Flashback

Irene is lying down in bed fidgeting with her fingers under the covers. She is currently waiting for her wife to finish brushing her teeth and to come to bed with her. She heaved her hundredth sigh for that day and almost jump from where she is once the door of the bathroom opened and her palms started sweating once Seulgi’s built came into view. But as always, Seulgi’s smiling face effectively brought some kind of instant relief to her. Seulgi and her knack for always unconsciously give reassurance to Irene. She then sits with her back on the headboard and her legs apart, patting the space near her lap which her wife easily understanding what she wants to happen. The younger girl then found herself sitting in between her wife’s legs and now engulfed in her arms. Irene also placed her cheek against Seulgi’s sturdy back.

“Is something wrong Unnie?” She attempted to turn around to look at her girlfriend’s face but she can feel Irene shaking her head against her back. She quickly understands and just let Irene be.

“Seulgi… I, I just want to properly apologize for what happened last night. I lost control of myself and I did things I am not very proud of. Especially when I did not even get your consent about it. I’m sorry.” She stated. A veil of silence enveloped them soon after and she is starting to prepare herself to receive some harsh words.

“Do you regret doing it Unnie?” The question caught her off guard yet she wanted to be completely honest with Seulgi.

“I will never regret it much more because it was with you that I did it with. What I regret is that I did it, when I was so keen on wanting to do take it slow with you.” Irene said and Seulgi her arms started hugging her tighter.

“Then there is no need to apologize, because the day that I accepted your feelings and said I love you back, I also gave you the absolute permission to have with me. You don’t need to ask me every time you wanted to do it, because I’d be more than happy, more than willing to do it with you. I understand that you must be feeling cautious because of my condition. I mean it’s not normal to have with a woman with a mind of a child right. You might have felt like you are taking advantage of my innocence. Listen to me. You are not taking advantage because I understand the concept of and lovemaking as well as what comes after it like pregnancy and all. Remember that time when I asked you when are we gonna have ? I did it, not because I don’t know what that is, but because I wanted to know if you are ready or if you are comfortable enough to do it with me. But your answers implied that you are still apprehensive about it especially upon hearing how you explained it to me. So I said in my mind that “Ahh Unnie must still be seeing me as a child.” That is the reason why I agreed to take it slow with you. But you should also know that I will also agree with whatever answer you would have given me at that time. If you said, “Okay let’s do it right now.” Then I will be more than happy to comply. Because I love you Unnie. I love you a lot that I am willing to do anything you said. I am willing to love you and do things concerning our relationship at your phase.” Irene swore that she saw her wife in a brand new light. Now she realized that Seulgi is not that same woman who has the mind of an 8-year old kid she cared for a few months ago. The Seulgi in front of her is a mature woman who understands what their relationship really is.

“Also. You can say that the way you lose control is not accidental. I might have taken Yeri’s advice of deliberately tempting you to have with me. I’m sorry Unnie for making you feel so dejected of yourself. I’m sorry Unnie. It’s just I want you to see me as a mature woman and not the childish Seulgi that you are seeing me now. I’m sorry that the solution I thought of, is not really a conventional one. I guess I’m still lacking in a lot of ways. But I don’t regret anything at this point because the outcome is just like what I expected. Well, not 100% though since you did most of the work but I promise I’m doing my best to learn what I need to do. I’m doing my best to learn what I need to learn about it Unnie. ” This causes Irene to chuckle aloud. She then holds Seulgi’s shoulder and helped her wife turn which she did. So now they are both facing each other.

“I supposed you are really more mature than what I perceived you to be. And you don’t need to apologize for tempting me because I needed a grand wake-up call and it did the job, I guess. You are still lacking but so do I so I figured, why not work on it together. You and I.  But wait, you said you are still learning, how are you… I mean how.” Seulgi did not answer but instead turned to her right and picked the remote from the nightstand. Then using the device, she opened the huge tv in front of their bed. Irene saw her maneuver into the menus.

“Yeri gave this to me a few days ago. She said her Aunt ask her to give it to me and instructed me to watch it. She said that it will contain everything I need to know.”   She explained before paying a video.

At first, it was just a plain-looking Japanese cartoon, but then as the video plays, the scene became increasingly steamy and . It soon turned into something . Then without letting it end, Seulgi pressed the remote and another video almost similar played. And Irene swore that the temperature in the room started getting high. Then as they moved from one video preview to another, Seulgi stopped playing completely and turned it off before sitting in front of Irene again.

“There are a few more of those Unnie. I mean the first ones are some sort of cartoon or anime and the last few are videos of real people. So I know and understand how works. Although not to the extent that most people who experienced it are. I know how it works theoretically but I don’t think I can do it on my own yet. I mean I still need a few words of guidance. Also just to test it out,  I  kinda touched myself. But I just did it once and just touched like three times only just to know how it feels. And after what happened to us, I realized that it feels different when you are the one doing it with me and I really liked it Unnie. So I wanted to learn a lot so I can make you feel good too.” Irene was speechless but then again seeing Seulgi sporting an embarrassed look as well as knowing that her intentions are good made her smile in appreciation.

“Seems like you do know a lot about after all. I mean you do know what to do. You just haven’t tried it out yet. But don’t watch these kinds of stuff please. I don’t know all things about because I haven’t really experienced it. If you have questions about it then you can ask me directly and I will answer you with the best that I can. Don’t rely on other people or any videos to learn about it.  It’s embarrassing to say this but, why don’t we explore it together. Like we can do it and discover what we both like and not.  I guess we can use it to learn more about each other and strengthen our relationship even more. We don’t need to force it out and just let our feelings guide us. Do you agree?” Seulgi nods in agreement and pecks her girlfriend’s lips. Irene just giggled at the gesture but a thought suddenly came to her mind.

“Oh before I forget. I want to ask you if you want to go on vacation for three days. I mean me, Solar and Tzuyu kinda planned an instantaneous vacation to take a break from our busy lives here. Plus I found out that Tzuyu’s fiancée is one of your close friends before. It seems that you have this squad with a few friends who all turned out to be Wendy, Solar’s wife Moonbyul, Tzuyu’s fiancée Jeongyeon and as well as your psychologist’s wife and the owner of the hospital Dr. Jisoo. So to somehow help you rediscover your past and reconnect with them, we are going on a vacation with all of them. I mean your squad with their wives and girlfriends. Are you okay with that because I can cancel it if you are not that comfortable to meet them? I know that it’s totally inappropriate to ask your permission first before planning but…” Irene did not manage to continue her ramblings when Seulgi’s lips shut her off. Her wife pecks her lips a few more times before she can attempt to say anything more.

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