Built on Regrets
120 More Years Beyond Boundaries![](https://i.imgur.com/j2cOBvn.png)
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Eventually they packed up. Each soldier returning to his post from which they were called from. Chanyeol and Minseok trekked back to the Jin manor. The friend merrily whistling along the journey while Chanyeol remained tucked in his own thoughts.
That was how the days quietly passed. Upon return the Jin women excitedly welcomed them. Preparing another big feast for the duo. Wheeled right into the dining hall as servants took their luggage to their quarters.
“The journey must be so exhausting.” Madam Kim sympathized.
“Please, eat a lot,” Uncle Haejin urged. “I heard you did a very good job with the riot. The town councilor is very pleased with you both.”
“Yes,” Chanyeol nodded.
“You were gone awfully long,” Haeji commented, “for a riot that was started by a small merchant. It couldn’t have been that serious.”
Her older sister nudged her. Pulling on a graceful smile, Haein mended, “She probably doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”
“What do you mean?” Haeji argued. “I heard the town people talking about it. The uprising died down as quick as it started.”
All the girls’ inquiring eyes landed on them. Chanyeol felt his throat close and tried not to fidget in his seat.
Uncle Haejin cleared his throat. Reprimanding, “Girls.”
Madam Lin jumped in, but sounded uncomfortable, “They’re soldiers. Perhaps they stayed longer to make sure another riot didn’t start. Merchants are very picky these days I hear. You can never predict what they’re up to. They’re always so needy and commanding.”
“How can the merchants be commanding when they have no place to voice their concerns?” Jeong Suji poked at her food. Separating greens from meat. She didn’t spare any of her family members a glance, as if disgusted.
“Then,” Chunghee sounded hopeful to calm every one of the women’s worries, “perhaps they stayed in Gobu. As mother says, the journey back and forth is terribly exhausting.”
Haein scoffed at her ridiculous suggestion. “Dear Chunghee, being too naïve isn’t always appealing for a woman.”
“Madam Lin,” Chunghee’s mother scolded, “at the dinner table how can your daughter suggest such insolence? And toward the general?”
Nodding her head in the first wife’s direction with a sly smile, Madam Lin softly argued, “My eldest daughter is simply being realistic. I don’t idealize her living in an illusionary world where men don’t have cravings of their own.”
“Such insult!” Madam Kim howled. “I didn’t raise Chunghee to down talk even a peddler. How are you raising your daughters in your household? Perhaps it is best you send your daughters to join Chunghee’s manner lessons.”
Madam Lin turned away with a spiteful scoff.
Sipping his glass of water albeit the drama, Uncle Haejin merely added, “Lets not argue at the dining table. It’ll turn the food sour.”
Quieting, Madam Kim and Madam Lin sulked each in their own righteous bubbles while the other two madams digested their food unbothered by the havoc.
Once lunch was finished Chanyeol walked out of the dining hall, wishing for a moment of peace. As if intent to ruin every one of his moments, the girls tailed after him. Jeong Suji the cool mannered girl included herself. Perhaps today there was no sewing lesson or the tea hadn’t completed brewing for the girls to sit and admire the scenery.
“I’m curious,” Haein hurriedly caught up, “where did you two go and what did you do?”
At a slower pace several steps behind, Haeji said loud enough for everyone to hear, “There can’t possibly be a woman? Oh my! Chunghee, what would we do?”
Chunghee’s doe eyes landed in his direction. Innocently trying, “I’m sure that’s not it.”
Suji had nothing to add. Farther on his right she was careful to remain a distance. Out of the noisy girls who liked intruding into his private space, she was the hardest to figure out. Not once had her or her mother invited him into their residence. What was the fourth wife after if she wasn’t attaining to bribe him to marry Suji?
“A woman in the equation would serve as worry for you, too,” Suji coldly reminded. “Don’t hand yourself a stick you’re tossing.”
Both the Lin sisters shot her a glare. Chunghee, the ever grateful girl for the help, beamed.
“Now girls,” Minseok playfully cut into their banter. Spinning around in his walk to face them, “Lets go easy on yourselves. Why aren’t you curious about me?”
“Don’t be silly,” Haein said. “Where would you meet a woman interested in you?”
Haeji giggled at the foolish notion. “It is embarrassing, Commander.”
Passing a flourishing garden in the yard, Suji loudly said, “What’s embarrassing is a woman insulting a man who stands on a cliff she can’t reach.”
She shot the Lin sister a crude eyeful before turning to walk off.
Scoffing, Haeji muttered, “Would you just look at her?”
“A snot.” Haein agreed.
“But I feel,” Chunghee’s quiet voice said, “Suji isn’t wrong.”
She, too, pivoted into another direction to disappear but not without giving him a yearning eye.
“Wow, just look at them,” Haein mumbled underneath her breath.
“Women, I tell you,” Minseok commented with sparkling eyes. Glancing at the two Lin girls, “Then, enjoy the rest of your day.”
Chanyeol gave the two girls a farewell nod before catching up to Minseok. Complete the short walk to their quarters for some rest.
“Wow!” Minseok raised his voice when they walked into the privacy of their house. Turning around to heave a breath. “Did you hear them?! They were, like, hyenas going at each other! Just amazing!”
Chanyeol gave him an eye.
Shaking his head, Minseok said, “I really miss the bathhouse.”
This time, Chanyeol tried not to meet his gaze.
Crossing his arm, Minseok added, “They can’t compare to our bathhouse girl, don’t you agree?
“Not our,” Chanyeol muttered turning toward his room.
“What?” Minseok called after him.
Shutting his door Chanyeol leapt right into his bed. Sighing ever so deeply as he knocked his head into his pillow. Clamping his eyes shut.
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Over the next two days Minseok packed up to return home to visit his grandparents. Leaving Chanyeol alone in the prime minister’s house. The second in command wouldn’t be returning for a week. Even though he’d been bothered by the nuance of the commander in love, Chanyeol dreaded fending for himself.
Though the girls didn’t visit his quarters by themselves didn’t mean they didn’t try inviting him to visit them. Once he had been dragged to one of the courts to listen to Haein play the gayageum for an hour. He locked himself up in his room for the rest of the day.
Luckily the family didn’t always gather in the dining hall to eat. Chanyeol enjoyed eating by himself in his quarters whenever possible. Reading letters from his mother and thinking about many things. His childhood, Minseok’s trip, the next assignment, visiting the horses, and the bathhouse.
The imagery of Namjoo under the moonlight with an arm outstretched to catch the falling petals. Replaying the motion of her standing alone. The picture so pretty and serene it could have been a painting.
Walking out of his quarters into the early evening, he stopped to sit by one of the tables in the courtyard. Where, often, the girls sat to chat and kill time with tea. Admiring the scenery of the setting sun afar. A glow of orange merging with the oncoming darkness. The horizon disappearing by the hour. Stars were just lighting up. The moon some kind of faded distant circle yet to reach its full power.
“Isn’t it pretty?” He turned to find Chunghee approaching. Coming up the stairs to sit on his left.
The light was fading and he was eager to leave suddenly. If they were discovered together late at night once the sun disappeared, Chanyeol would be doomed into an early marriage.
“Yes.” He shortly replied.
“Do you like sunsets?” Chunghee wondered.
Chanyeol never strayed his eyes from the glow. Rethinking of the moment he rode out toward the lake with Namjoo on Mul. Trying to recall the way she comfily slipped into his arms when she got off the horse. Watching the sunset for the first time with her, and he the first one with her.
It was a memory he never wanted to forget.
Namjoo and sunsets would always be a story he wanted to keep reading. Again and again and again.
“Yea,” he absentmindedly replied.
Eyes strictly on him, she smiled. “Me, too. They’re so eloquent. I just want to keep watching.”
The little time he spent at the bathhouse he regretted. There could’ve been more done together. More things to talk about than pondering about this thing he had no experience of.
Right now, was she possibly wondering about him? Did she know he was back at the manor, safe and sound? Could she still be worried about him and the conflict up north?
“No sunset is as pretty as it is tonight. It’s so special.” Chunghee shyly said. “I think from now on, I’d never want to see it without you.”
The pictures in his head faded the moment Chunghee covered his hand with hers. The spark in her eyes glimmered like sunrays on water. Her pretty oval face angled in his direction with all the attention in the universe. Urging and calling for him to shift the same way.
Chanyeol retracted his hand. Noticing the hint of hurt in her expression, but like the mannerful girl she was she didn’t voice her opinion.
“It’s already been several days,” Chunghee reminded, “you can’t still be exhausted from your journey.”
“I’m not.”
“Then why are you always alone?” Chunghee prodded. “You can call me for tea or ask me for a walk. At any time, I wouldn’t mind.” She seemed to shrink, admitting, “I look forward to it every day.”
His eyes trailed off before slowly making its way back to her. “You don’t always have to wait.”
“But I want to,” she eagerly spoke up. Catching herself, she in a breath in order not to get excited. Hands now on her lap like a behaved little girl, she confessed, “I always look forward to your return. Seeing you brightens my day every time, but when I see you by yourself it makes me sad. I wish to accompany you if it’s possible.”
“Lady Chunghee…”
“I hope you don’t mind what my sisters say,” Chunghee said. “You should know by now that they love talking a lot.”
He didn’t add any comment.
“But,” Chunghee hesitated, “I’ve been curious.”
Chanyeol glanced at her. The fading red glow nearly overcome by the darkness on his right. Chunghee nearly appeared like a shadow on his left.
“About the bathhouse,” her voice lowered in volume, “did you do anything with the strange girl?”
Chanyeol thought about Namjoo. Watching her from his room. Taking her to the marketplace. Riding his horse with her. The kiss she had granted him. The tiny moments that could have been more.
And he longed for her.
To have another reason to return to the bathhouse, but there was none so he was just…stuck here.
There was Chunghee sitting with him and also not seeing her sitting with him. Imagining it was Namjoo. Here with him. Enjoying the scenery of the setting sun and talking about better times.
But it wasn’t her.
Turning away Chanyeol answered, “No.”
He couldn’t speak about Namjoo in the Jin household. Not even a peep of her name. It would be his betrayal to the Jin family. For associating with another woman other than the supposed Lady Chunghee.
They expected his most honest respect and sincerity for letting him home here. Freeloading off their food, bed, and warmth. Even though distant relatives, they would still expect some form of payment in return for their kindness.
Nothing came free.
Chanyeol was very well aware when he was sent here. And he was determined to pay the Jin family somehow, but not with his life on the line nor his hand in marriage.
He didn’t want any of the Jin girls.
He couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his life with Chunghee.
“I will take my leave first.” Chanyeol rose to his feet. Gave her a curt nod and headed down the stairs.
For a while he lay in bed with the shoe sitting on the nearby table. Staring up at the ceiling through the darkness. Hearing in his head Minseok telling him about a lover; the girls cussing each other out for his favor.
Then he thought about Namjoo. “Will you come back?”
Sitting up, Chanyeol stared at his closed door.
Whoever said he needed a reason?
This was his chance. Minseok was out of the city. Night was falling. If he left now, he could arrive by morning.
Hurriedly grabbing his bag and throwing some clothes inside he bolted out the door toward the stables. It was as quiet as if no living soul existed. Moving on swift feet, Chanyeol unlocked the door to lead Mul out.
Patting the stallion’s thick neck, Chanyeol coaxed, “Lets go for a ride, huh? Just you and me this time.”
The horse shook his head with a slight sneeze. Its mane swaying with his movements.
“That’s a good boy,” Chanyeol complimented. Climbing onto the horse, Chanyeol pulled on the reins, “Lets go!”
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Namjoo was sleeping through the evening when the door opened and a servant crept into her room. Rousing her from dreamland.
“What?” she mumbled sleepily.
“Please wake up,” the girl called.
Groaning, Namjoo just dug her head further into her pillow.
“Young Miss,” she said again.
Namjoo fought to ignore her. Succeeded for a minute or two before she was finally up and sauntering down the darkening hallway. Yawning the entire way. The courtyard was deserted. Everyone turned in for the oncoming night even though the moon wasn't fully out.
Damn whoever had ordered her to get the bath ready. She wasn’t supposed to be on call if it wasn’t Chanyeol who was here. And she knew he was still up north or perhaps at home by now. It’d been a good two weeks since he’d gone and she truly didn’t expect him back any time soon. As she heard from the ladies, there was no riot in Gobu. Nothing in the nation was going haywire that needed military action.
All was too calm and peaceful. And she was still here, trapped.
Eyes half closed Namjoo stomped toward the shed to prepare water. Tucked wood into the underground furnace and entered the bathhouse. The water needs to be warm she was told. For whoever had demanded her she was ready to yap at them. Waking her from sleep to do this was an atrocity.
Tiredly crouching down by the ledge Namjoo peered into the unmoving water. Blinking lethargically from so much sleep. Lately it was all she did. Eat and sleep like an infant. She couldn’t be bothered with the bathhouse business. She didn’t offer her hand where it wasn’t needed. She barely ran into Madam Cho. She didn’t throw any more fits when the girls came to prepare her clothes.
Namjoo nearly fell asleep crouching. Returning to winding dreams that sent her imageries of the 21st century. The picture of skyscrapers needling into the blue sky beneath the simmering sun evaporated when the door clicked open. Namjoo lost her balance as she turned before catching sight of the man who’d insisted on waking her.
She plunged into the water with a noisy splash. Gulping water on her way in. Flapping her arms manically. Kicking her legs around in order to touch ground. Recalling the water wasn’t deep and she could stand.
Finally managing to Namjoo coughed and spat. Choking on water as she struggled to breathe. Uselessly wiping her face and the hair glued to her cheeks away. Noticing the sound of someone entering the water and movement from the corner of her eye.
The coughing died when she looked up. Feeling her breath catch in when she saw Chanyeol.
A dream she first thought.
She gasped when his arm slid around her waist and he tugged her forward. The elevated hand wiping her face landed smack on his arm. Namjoo stared surprised, but not as shocked as when his hand touched her jaw to kiss her.
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