My baby boy stirred around a bit before opening his big brown eyes.

 

“Mommy …”

 

I kissed cheek of my tired baby and Leeteuk squirmed around before wriggling in my arms. I squeeze him tightly and kissed his fluffy hair. 

 

“What have you done today?”

Leeteuk squeezed his head in crook of my neck and sighed happily.

 

“I did photoshoot for Prada. And another one for Nature republic.”

 

I hum and his hair. My baby must be tired from so much work.

 

“Do you want mommy to take care of you?”

 

Leeteuk is thinking for a while before nodding. I smile and slowly sat up with him clinging on me.

 

“Mommy is going to prepare a bottle for you, alright?”

 

I got up but he is clinging on me like a little koala bear. My working out routine is so hard only for this one reason - to carry my baby around. I got up and placed his crotch on my hip and put one hand under his bum and the second one is placed on his back.

 

“Lets go.”

 

Leeteuk nodded and I go downstairs where is the kitchen. I opened a kitchen cabinet where are all his sippy cups, bottles and pacifiers. I know that his most favorite bottle is the one made from glass and with cute design of 101 Dalmatians. I sat him down on the marble kitchen counter and knocked twice on door of the LG fridge to see if we have some milk or if I need to use the formula. There is one last bottle of milk and I turned to my baby.

 

“We will need to do grocery shopping.”

 

I opened the bottle and poured the milk in a milk pot. In few minutes the milk is warm just like my baby likes it. I carefully poured the milk in his bottle and screw the back on its top. I better check the temperature so my baby won’t hurt his tongue and then handed the bottle to my precious baby boy. Leeteuk started to on his bottle and I tsked.

 

“Baby, haven’t you forgotten about something?”

 

He thinks for a while and I pulled the bottle away from his mouth until he remembers.

 

“Thank you mommy.”

 

I smiled and nodded and now he can continue in drinking his milk. I take my phone and started to write a list of things which we need. I could pay someone to do this for me but I like going in a mall or a supermarket. Moreover it is another way how to spoil my baby. Leeteuk is on his bottle and I go in our bathroom and see if we have enough diapers and pull ups. I shake my head in disapproval because there isn’t enough of them so I write them on my list. Leeteuk finished his milk and now wants to cuddle with me.

 

“Baby, what about we go in a supermarket now, you will choose a snack and later we will cuddle. What do you think about mommy’s plan?”

 

Leeteuk is thinking for a while but I know that the word snack always works on him. Moreover he always gets some toy from a supermarket. I go to change my clothes ( https://www.net-a-porter.com/cz/en/product/1153925/alexanderwang_t/oversized-printed-french-cotton-terry-sweatshirt ) and grab my purse with phone, wallet and keys. Leeteuk doesn’t want to let go of his pacifier so I put a face mask on him to cover it. We have few incidents with some ers who have an urge to curse on him. I his hair and kissed his forehead before grabbing his hand and we leave. The supermarket isn’t far and Leeteuk is happily skipping next to me while holding few reusable grocery bags and soon I giving him a coin to take a trolley for us. I thanked him for getting the trolley and start to push it while searching for everything on our list. We got some meat, pastry, vegetable and fruit, then we stopped in aisle with dairy products and finally got in Leeteuk’s favorite aisle with snacks and sweets.

 

“You can choose five things, okay?”

 

Leeteuk nodded but soon he is holding more than ten articles in his arms. 

 

“Mommy …?”

 

He is doing his sad puppy eyes and I cross my arms.

 

“Five things or nothing.”

 

Leeteuk pouted but after hard deciding put five snacks and sweets in our trolley. I smiled on him and head in aisle with cosmetic and diapers. We need diapers, pull ups, wet wipes and baby powder but then we can finally go to the checkout counters. Leeteuk put our grocery on the counter bell and then starts to put the things in our bags. I paid and then take three of our four bags and we can leave. Leeteuk is speaking about snack which he will eat as the first one but suddenly some man stopped in front of us.

 

“Are you a man? Why is your girlfriend carrying everything?!”

 

Leeteuk is shocked by the loud jerk and I calmly stepped in front of him.

 

“Why are you putting your ugly face in things which aren’t you business?”

 

The man is stuttering some angry gibberish and I am leading my baby away. He is very silent and I know that he is feeling down. Luckily there is nothing what mommy can’t fix. We came home and put the bags on kitchen counter. 

 

“Watch cartoons while mommy clean our groceries.”

 

Leeteuk nodded and I take off his face mask. He goes to watch Sailor Moon and I am putting everything on its right place. In a short time I am done and sighed satisfied. It is almost 20, so my boy needs a bath and then we will have a dinner. I go in the living room and the TV.

 

“Bath time!”

 

Leeteuk pouted but he knows that we have a basket full of bath bombs, bubble bath and bath oil beads. We go upstairs and I the faucet with warm water while he is getting undressed. In few seconds he is already choosing bath toys and I throw few bath oils beads in the water. Soon they dissolve and the air is filled with fresh scent of oranges. Leeteuk gets in the bathtub and plays with his toy ships and octopus. I remove my makeup and clean my skin while he is happily playing. Then I grab a washcloth with yellow ducks and put a big drop of lemon body wash on it. Leeteuk is making angry noises of his octopus which is attacking the ships and I smile on my silly baby. I love when he is this relaxed and deep in his little space.

He had very rough childhood with his abusive father and poor family. And now look on him. So happy boy who loves his mommy and his mommy loves him. Leeteuk still has few problems, he has troubles with eating and with being alone but he did a huge progress. 

 

I finished washing his body and hair and then drained the bathtub. Now I need to get him away from his toys and wrap a huge towel around him. I picked up my little burrito and carried him in our bedroom.

 

“Does my baby want a diaper?”

 

Leeteuk on his fingers and nodded.

 

“Yes, please.”

 

I smile and kiss tip of his nose.

 

“How could I say no when you are asking so nicely.”

 

I unfolded one fluffy diaper with baby blue clouds and rub a nappy cream in skin on his bum. Leeteuk is biting on edge of his towel while I am diapering him and then combed his hair. I grab his pajamas - grey checked set with long pants and long sleeved shirt with white buttons. Tonight he is cooperating with me and doesn’t make it difficult so in a short while he is dressed and ready for dinner. I picked him up again and go in the kitchen. I put fish sticks and French fries in the oven and prepare two plates. One is white and porcelain and the second one is made from plastic and it is decorated with space ships and stars. Soon our dinner is ready and we start to eat. Leeteuk is dipping his French fries in mayonnaise and I am watching how my baby happily munches on his food. He finished his food very quickly and then I put the plates in dishwasher.

 

“Cuddles?”

 

Leeteuk made grabby hands toward me and I smile while nodding. I carry him upstairs and laid him down on our bed. He is on his pacifier and I handed him his puppy. Then I laid down next to him and let him snuggle close to me. Leeteuk is calming down and he is getting ready for sleep. I know that he is very close to falling asleep because he is slightly kicking his legs. After few more minutes I am thinking that he is really asleep and want to get up to take a shower too but Leeteuk angrily cried out and grabs my hair in his hands.

 

“Okay, I am laying down again.”

 

I sighed because I would really like to take a shower. It is almost 21 so I decided to sing him a lullaby.

 

 

The moon is bright, the wind is quiet.

The leaves hang over the window.

My baby, fall asleep quickly.

Sleep, dreaming sweet dreams.

 

The moon is bright, the wind is calm,

Gently moving cradle,

Mother's baby, close your eyes,

Yeah sleep, sleep, dreaming sweet dreams.

 

When I finished I am sure that he is fast asleep and carefully got up. I make sure that he is covered with the blanket and that the night light is , just in case that he wakes up so he won’t get scared of the dark bedroom. I silently sneaked in the bathroom and take a shower. I remember that Leeteuk hasn’t brushed his teeth but now it is too late. One night without clean teeth isn’t going to kill him. I put on a face mask and sat down on the closed toilet lid and pulled out pack of cigarettes from my hiding space. I love Leeteuk but now I need some time only for myself. I am smoking and look if I need pedicure or manicure but my nails are okay. I throw out the cigarette bud and put on my pajama. Now it is time to put on cooling gel mask so I won’t have bags under my eyes and laid down next to Leeteuk. It isn’t even 22, but with little Leeteuk we can’t have wild or some fun outside. I sighed and closed my eyes while smiling because tomorrow or the day after tomorrow I will have my big Leeteuk back and I am going to enjoy some  fun for adults.