Being in love, as what she has thought, is a forbidden thing. That is why she never tried, and never dared, falling in love with anyone. She knows that it’s very difficult to be in a relationship, especially in her situation, so the best solution she ever could think of is to distance herself away from the people that she might be attached with. She narrows down her circle of her friends for she thinks that having a lot of friends may cause her a difficult time in avoiding them. She also lessens her time with the people outside and spends her time with herself at home instead. She probably may lead a boring life, like as what others may say, but at least, she knows that what she’s doing may not cause trouble in the future.

“Seohyun-ah..” her mum appears at the tip of her bed, talking softly as she tries not to give her a heart attack.

The young girl opens her eyes as she hears her name being called, and tries to focus her vision to the kind- looking woman, though her face shows years of hardships and trials in life, staring down at her lovingly.

“Wake up now, dear. You might be late for school.” She softly informs her, giving her the sweetest smile afterwards.

The young girl just smiles contentedly and gets up from her bed.

To other people, it might just be another usual (boring) day but to her it’s different. She’s grateful with another day she can live through. She knows that her days are already numbered so being able to wake up is just the most wonderful thing that ever happened to her. And every day is the most wonderful day for her.

Maybe that’s why she treats every day as her last.

“You’re getting better.” her mum tells her, trying to cheer her up.

But I am turning eighteen now. I know it if I’m dying…

“I am?” she asks, her lips forming into a hopeful smile.

“You are.” Her mum answers, hurt and hope both mix in her emotions.

I’m tired. I hope you’ll understand, mum. I’m already tired…

She is tired, not from living, but from seeing her loved ones hurt.

She can never deny though, that at some point in her life, she has thought of being in love and loved back. She can never refuse that even she, promising that she never wants to become part of someone else’s life, wants the feeling of being in love, too.

Probably she’s just curious—the feeling of having butterflies in the stomach or the feeling of getting goosebumps (as what Yoona describes it) or the feeling of getting that spark when your eyes met. Probably she’s just curious on what it feels like, being in love. Or maybe she just needs it, like everyone else.

Even just once..i want to be.. in love. Even just once.

But she knows that her days are numbered and the feeling of loving someone and being loved back will just turn into an unfulfilled dream.

It’s too late, she thinks, but she will never give up.

Probably the goddess of love will give her another chance.

Or maybe not.

He’ll just get hurt when I’m gone.

She opens the door and starts her way to school. Even knowing that she’ll probably be gone tomorrow or maybe two days after or probably a week, it never occurs to her to feel depressed. Instead, she continues on living her life and act as a normal person—with no disease or anything that will take her life.

And with hope, she never loses hope, she takes the subway and waits for her destined one. Probably it’s because of the novels she has read that made her think this way. She has always believed, and continues on telling herself, that one day she’s going to meet him.

Then her heart will flutter when she meets his eyes. And her heart will beat faster when she sees him smile. And she will feel finally sing of love songs and lullabies.

Finally, when she’s going to meet him, she’ll be in love.

“Happy eighteenth birthday, Seohyun-ah.” Yoona, her one and only best friend, greets her. She’s the only person Seohyun is friends with.  She has been with Seohyun’s side for ten years now and having her as her best friend, Seohyun thinks, is more than enough.

“Thank you, Yoona. Thank you for everything.” Seohyun answers, giving her a meaningful look. Yoona, even when she hopes it’s not that, knows what it meant.

“Seohyun-ah, please don’t leave us.” Yoona whispers rather pleading, as tears start to form on her eyes. She blinks them away and tries her best not to give in.

“I will never leave you, Yoon. Don’t worry.” She assures her, smiling. She immediately grabs the menu to change the subject. “Order anything, Yoon. It’s my birthday.”

It is as if she’s feeling okay that even Yoona will have to even think twice first before realizing that her best friend’s days are already numbered. My days are already numbered. I hope you’ll not change the way you treat me though, Yoon. Yoona remembers what Seohyun has told her when they were fourteen.

“Tell me you’re just joking.” Yoona demands.

Instead of hearing what she wants to hear, she receives a smile on Seohyun’s face.

“Why?” Yoona asks her with tears streaming down her face,it is the first time she has ever cried in front of her best friend. Yoona even didn’t shed a tear in front of Seohyun when she informed Seo that her father died.

“It’s destiny. It’s what is meant to happen, Yoon.” Seohyun tells her, wiping the tears in her eyes. “And please don’t cry. I never want to see you cry, Yoon. You’re my best friend.”

Yoona immediately wipes her tears and faces her best friend, “I’ll never cry again, Hyun. And that’s a promise. Just.. let me cry this time.”

Yoona isn’t able to hold it any longer.

Seohyun understand