Song: My Sweet Refuge - Roo Panes

Author's Note:
Hello, y'alls! I'm sorry for updating so late. I got caught up with work this so I wasn't able to post anything.

If you have not watched EXID's Showtime episodes, I suggest you do so before (or after) reading this, particulary Episode 1 and Episode 6. :)

Please be mindful of the dates in each chapter from here on. I initially wanted to indicate the number of days, but it looked a bit awkward for the flashbacks to be like 1,000 days ago lol so I just decided to put the month and year for each scene.

Anyways, I hope y'all enjoy this chapter. If you have any comments or constructive criticisms, please don't hesitate to leave 'em all in the comments section. Thanks! <3

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LE
 

June, 2015

 

The last couple of weeks’ schedule didn’t really feel like work. We truly enjoy shooting Showtime and just doing practically whatever we want to do. However, since we started shooting, I’ve been quite confused.

 

The fact that I’m feeling something different towards Jeonghwa is definitely not helping me right now. I’ve already given up on denying the fact that I kinda like her and decided to just wait it out until whatever this is fades away. But the thing is, she’s doing something to me right now. I can’t pinpoint what it is, though. I just feel so...paranoid, i guess.

 

It had been a long day, and I missed my bed. The sauna didn’t really do much to make me feel relaxed because, for some reason, I ended up going with Jjong instead of Hani. I honestly just want to lie down on my bed, surround myself with my fluffy pillows, and try to get some much-needed sleep. However, my mind always comes back to what happened today and the odd little things that had been happening since a couple of weeks ago.

 

I didn’t really notice anything at first, or maybe I was just overthinking, but even when we were at the amusement park, Jeonghwa had been clinging on to me. To be honest, it didn’t seem weird at first since she’s kinda close to all of us anyways, but she didn’t seem to want my company as much before.

 

----------------------------------- 3 weeks ago -----------------------------------

 

“LE unnie! Wait for me!” as soon as we step out of the car, she called out on me. Again, not weird.

 

“Unnie, let’s walk together.”

 

“LE unnie, do you want to have matching headbands?”

 

“Unnie, can I have some of your ice cream?”

 

Not supposed to be odd, I know, but there’s something different and I can’t seem to point my finger to it.

 

Of course I just brushed it off. Why would I even overthink about it? It’s just normal stuff that she does with all of us anyways.

 

---

 

“Don’t cry, baby!” I called out to Hani since she’s bawling her eyes out while the ride spins non-stop.

 

“Unnie…” Jjong turned to me and sounded a little off.

 

“Mhm?”

 

“Why did you call her baby?” I’m pretty sure she’s just asking out of curiosity, so it’s still probably not weird at all.

 

“Who? Hani?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I… Well…” I do not have any reason to call Hani “baby”. It was just some sort of slip of the tongue or something, but I can’t seem to find words to explain it to Jjong.

 

“I am the maknae. Shouldn’t I be called “baby”, too?”

 

I turned to her, quite flustered and eyes involuntarily blinking a little too fast than normal out of either embarrassment or disbelief. Nobody would ever know how thankful I was that the ride ended before I could even attempt to answer her. “Let’s go to them.”

 

---

 

How Jeonghwa managed to get the courage to ride the rollercoaster is beyond me. Hani had been asking me to ride it with her but I will never, for the life of me, step foot on that thing. For some reason, Jjong decided to step up and “accept the challenge”. I can say that she regretted her decision even before she buckled the safety belt. She was cute, though, so I guess I don’t mind seeing her scared and borderline panicking at all.

 

As always, Hani never fails to make us laugh with her facial expressions. Solji and Hyelin were laughing just a moment ago, but now that the first two are almost finished, Hyelin started to quiet down, which means the nerves started to get to her.

 

“What the…” I was surprised to see Jeonghwa crying as the cart start to slow down. I know I shouldn’t laugh and that I should feel bad for her, but how can I? When she’s looking too damn cute?

 

“Jeonghwa, are you crying?” Solji got to her before I did. I wanted to comfort her, but I don’t want to look too...excited.

 

All of us are starting to get so hungry, but Hyelin and Solji still had to ride the rollercoaster to know who’s paying for our lunch. It didn’t seem to be as chaotic as Hani and Jeonghwa’s ride, but they were almost just as flustered as when the cart came back.

 

---

 

I’m not sure if it was because I was feeling good after having a scrumptious lunch, but as we walked around, I just unconsciously wrapped my arm around Jjong’s shoulders. As soon as I noticed it, I tried to slip off my arm but she grabbed my hand. I can feel myself blushing as she looked at me and smiled, still holding on to my hand.

 

“My goodness, the weather’s too hot.” I pretended to fan myself with my other hand. I know it was an awful excuse, but what could I do when she’s literally less than a foot away from my face.

 

Calm down, Hyojinie. You are chic. You are cool. Calm the fudge down.

 

As we walked a little longer, having my arms around her felt comfortable. When she locked her fingers with mine,  it was a new feeling, but it was something...familiar. I thought I’d have to relish the moment while it lasts and just stop overthinking it.

 

So far the day had been going great. What better way to end today other than a thrilling ride at the Merry-Go-Round, right?

 

Of course they made fun of me. But I couldn’t even give a damn because I love this ride and this is honestly the only ride that my tiny heart could handle.

 

As the ride starts, I feel like I have four stage moms taking multiple pictures of me on my majestic wooden horse. I waved and as I passed them by, I heard the most ridiculous thing today, even considering the fact that Hani was the one who said it...

 

“Aigoo! My baby is the best!”

 

Maybe it was something about Jjong’s awkward, forceful laugh when Hani said it that convinced me that there’s something else here and that I’m not just making things up in my head. I still don’t know what it is exactly, but I’m going to figure it out sooner or later.

 

---

 

Jeonghwa

June, 2015

 

I have totally no idea when this started, but all I know is that LE unnie makes me feel giddy inside and that even her weirdest antics started to look cute to me.

 

For today’s Showtime shoot, Solji suggested we play pool. I could not be more excited. LE is quite good when it comes to pocket ball and she looks so damn cool whenever she plays, and just the thought of seeing that is enough of a reason to go through with it.

 

“Call!”

 

---

 

“Since we’re five here, let’s do rock paper scissors and the loser becomes Game-dol.” Hani suggested.

 

It only took us one try to figure out who today’s gamedol will be. To my utmost disappointment, it was LE. My thoughts of seeing her be all cool while playing pocket ball just disappeared into thin air.

 

But I, Park Jeonghwa, isn’t one to give up so easily. If I can’t see Cool LE today, I’ll summon Cute LE instead.

 

“Get us some drinks, gamedol-a!~”

 

I’ll tease the hell out of this cutie pie today.

 

---

 

The universe may have decided to give me an opportunity to execute the plan that I didn’t even know I have. I am thankful for it, nonetheless.

 

It was my first turn to play. With LE sitting on the stool just behind me, I unconsciously bent a little deeper, making it look like I was trying to make sure that the cue ball will hit my target.

 

“Oh! So y!~” I heard LE say.

 

“Of course.” I cannot help but smirk. Plan number 1: Success. I wish I could say that I looked cool and y the whole game, though. Apparently, I still haven’t improved at all since the last time we played this game.

 

What’s good, though, is that I have a reason to tease LE from time to time. All this gamedol thing is working in my favor and I’m enjoying every bit of it

 

“Show us your iness.” I have zero interest in Hani’s “iness”, but I am quite curious about Ahn LE’s reaction in this situation...or if she even has a reaction in the first place. Apparently, she doesn’t care, and I can’t say I’m not a little bit disappointed.

 

Somewhere between the game, I wondered why I’m trying this hard to get LE’s attention. I couldn’t even care less before whether she’s looking at me or not. As far as I’m concerned, I have treated all the unnies equally, until suddenly things just started to look a little prettier in LE’s side of the universe.

 

---

 

We’re dead full but we still have a few hours to go until the shoot is done. Of course, LE suggested we head to the sauna after eating because why the hell not? The sauna’s a pretty good excuse to chill and to not do anything at all.

 

“Heeyeon-ah, let’s go to the salt room together.” I overheard LE talking to Hani after the director called cut.

 

“But I want to stay in the sleeping room. I could use some sleep right now.” Hani sounded almost whiny. Considering she has the busiest schedule among all of us, I bet she’s dying to have at least a few minutes of sleep once we get to the sauna.

 

“Just sleep in the salt room then! You wouldn’t even notice the difference because you’re asleep.”

 

“AIsh! Can’t you just go alone?”

 

“No. I’m scared to go alone…”

 

“I can go with you…” Don’t even ask me why I decided to volunteer being alone in an enclosed area with LE. Even I was surprised with what I said. Yes, we were getting a bit more comfortable with each other recently, but it doesn’t mean that it would be as comfortable as when I’m alone with the other unnies.

 

“Assa!~ It’s settled then. Jjong will come with you. Besides, I need my alone time.” I guess Hani really didn’t want anything to do with LE and the salt room since she almost ran away as soon as she’s done talking, or maybe she was just a bit scared that LE might hit her or something. Either way, she left LE and I practically having a mini-stare down, both of us looking quite surprised at how things are going.

 

“I guess you’re coming with me then.”

 

What have I gotten myself into?

 

---

 

As the cameras start rolling, LE and I started to act more natural. We wouldn’t want the people to think that we’re not that close anyways, right?

 

The thing is, with LE and I, we’ve always been close but not close enough. We’ve never had a chance to spend some time alone, even for a meal since she always eats with Hani or we all eat together. She had never invited me for drinks because I’m not much of a drinker and as much as possible I try to stay away from crowded places. I also never invited her anywhere because I really don’t go out a lot during our free time other than when I visit my favorite coffee shop a couple of blocks away from my house to read and people-watch. So I have always thought that we were the ones from our group that has the weakest bond.

 

That’s not to say that we don’t like each other, though.

 

I like her...quite a lot, actually.

 

Wait, what?

 

---

 

Whenever I’m in an awkward or difficult situation, I try not to think too much about my actions. I prefer to just either wing it or fake it until I make it...something like that. It’s the same with this one.

 

I am thankful, though, that there are cameras following us around which means that we’re technically not spending time alone. To be honest, I am quite enjoying myself once I decided to not overthink things through. It was just like spending time with a friend...a friend who makes my heart flutter a bit...a lot.

 

We settled in one of the low temp rooms. It was still a tad bit hot, and I’m not sure if it has anything to do with the room temperature or if it was because I am lying down a foot away from LE, but it was tolerable.

 

“You okay?” One thing I liked about LE is that she’s always very caring towards us. She acts cool and chic whenever we’re performing or whenever there are cameras around, but she’s always been the most caring one among us.

 

“Yeah, I’m good. You?”

 

“I’m okay.” She smiled at me, with those cute baby fangs of hers, and I can’t help but smile back. “Shall we?”

 

“You girls ready?” The PD-in-charge asked, and we both nodded. “Okay, in 3,2,1…” The sound of slate clapping resounded through the small room, but somehow it felt like music to my ears.

 

---

 

“Unnie…”

 

“Mhm?”

 

“Do you like it?”

 

“Mhm.”

 

“How much?”

 

“...a lot.”

 

“Do you like me more than this place?”

 

---

 

LE

June, 2015

 

 

Saying that I was panicking is probably an understatement. Jeonghwa was looking at me with those big, beautiful eyes of hers and in a moment I almost forgot that we’re not alone.

 

I am, however, thankful that my parents gave me quite a quick mind to figure out the most rational thing to do in most situations.

 

“What are you doing right now?” We can’t help but laugh the awkwardness away. I don’t even know why I assumed this is where this conversation ends. I looked the other way, scared that Jjong might see how red my face is getting, and it’s not because of the temperature of the room that we’re in.

 

“It’s just a question.” Damn it, where did this kid got her balls to ask such a question?

 

It would’ve been easier to say no and just continue with this bickering gimmick that we’re at since earlier today at the billiard hall. But I decided to just get through with it. I mean, it wouldn’t even look like anything weird, right? We’re shooting a show anyways.

 

“I like you more than this place.” Just saying those words almost made me feel like my heart would explode out of my chest. I knew right then and there that if I have to wait until I get over these feelings, I would probably end up waiting for a very long time.

 

“Do you? Then that’s enough.” Even with the sound of her voice, I can tell she’s quite satisfied with the answer I gave her.

 

For reasons unknown to me, I started to ease in even when silence followed our awkward exchange. Suddenly her being next to me felt right. Suddenly, despite being in the middle of a warm, small room with cameras and other people around us, it felt like home.

 

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