Song: Goodbye For Now - Solji and Doo Jin Soo (Duet Song Festival) [originally by MC The Max]

Author's Note:
Please watch Solji and Doo Jin Soo's Goodbye For Now performance at least twice and let the lyrics sink in first before proceeding with this chapter. Also, this is just a short update. It's not like I didn't have the time to write, it's just that I wrote too much and the original storyline changed quite a bit so I had to re-organize everything. Will post another chapter this week. :)

LE

252 days ago - July, 2018

As soon as Solji came back from her hiatus, the CEO of our company talked to us about our contracts. In less than a year, all of our contracts are ending and we have to decide if we’ll continue or not.

To be honest, I’ve always thought we’ll always choose to stick together - like a package deal - that if one of us stays, we all stay. But of course, reality isn’t as kind as we all thought it would be.

Even before discussing the matter within the group, Jeonghwa and I had talked about this a couple of times already.

“Have you thought about it yet - if you are going to re-sign or not?” How I wish I have no clue what Jeonghwa wanted to do. But the fact that she has a different dream that she’s trying to attain means that the circumstances that we have now aren’t really favorable for us.

I can sense how hesitant she is to answer my question so I had to reassure her, “Don’t worry about me. Just do what feels right for you and I will support you whatever your decision may be.” I took her hand and gave her the best smile I could possibly give right now.

“I mean, I love doing this with you and with the other unnies. The past 8 years had been great, from the day we started as trainees until this very moment.” She looked down, seemingly trying to find the words to express her thoughts. “But you know how much my dream matters to me.”

“I know.”

“So…”

“It’s okay. We’ll figure this out, yeah?” This whole situation , but I have to put on a brave face for us.

Since when had it been this hard to smile?

LE

287 days ago - August, 2018

“You okay?”

Jeonghwa is a little out of it tonight, which is understandable since we’ve just finished our Japan concert and she’s probably as exhausted as I am. Also because we have to discuss something that we already tried to postpone multiple times before. There will never be a perfect time to talk about this, but maybe we just have to rip the bandaid as fast as we could.

“No.” She looked at me, tears threatening to escape from her pretty eyes. I can see how much this is hurting her. We both know how tonight will end up and no one’s looking forward to it. “Do we really have to do this?” Her voice is starting to tremble.

I wish I could say that everything will turn out okay, or that we can figure something out that could make this work. But, as always, reality is too cruel. I sighed. Words have failed me tonight.

“What if we just make our relationship public?” Jeonghwa looked at me, eyes wide as if the idea only occurred to her right then and there and that it will solve all...this.

“Now? When you’re about to pursue your acting career?” I try to calm myself down and think of a more realistic solution for this.

“Well…”

“Jjong, if things were a bit different, then coming out in public is probably the best thing that could happen to us. But will that really solve our problems? WIll that give us more time together? Will that give us the assurance that we won’t drift apart because of our possibly crazy schedules?”

“Aren’t you thinking too far ahead? What if we make it work? What if love is enough to make this whole thing work?” She’s starting to raise her voice. It’s obvious that we’re both extremely frustrated right now. Nothing seems to work in our favor.

“I don’t know! Jjong, you know I would love nothing more than for us to not hide anymore, I really do. But we both know that the industry that we’re in is not as forgiving to people like us as we hoped it would be. This isn’t like a movie where love is enough to get us by. People are harsh. They judge us based on the choices we make. They put us in a box and cage us in. I don’t want that to happen to us!”

Jeonghwa just looks at me, obviously taken aback with where this conversation is going.

“I’m not brave enough for this...not yet.” I start to choke. I know where this ends, and I am not liking it one bit. “If whatever we have hinders you from achieving your dreams, I won’t be able to forgive myself.”

She pulled me in for an embrace. “But...you are my dream. How am I going to be happy without you? Without us?”

“You will always have me. It’s not like we won’t see each other again. I promise, when things start to get better for us and when we’re both strong enough to fight for this, I will never let us go again. Let’s just get through this with that thought in mind, okay?”

And just like that, we spent our last night together with arms around each other and tears in our eyes.

“I love you.”