Part 1

-Shida Mirai’s POV-

-Can we meet today?-

My cellphone rang and pops a mail that makes my heart beats fast. It came from Yamada Ryosuke, my best friend and at the same time my long time crush. We’re best friend since 2 years ago, and I would admit, he’s not an ordinary best friend to me. He’s someone special.

I’m Shida Mirai, 18 years old, funny, simple and an average girl. I’m not that beautiful. I’m also not that popular type of girl. I’m rather a shy-type girl with a big heart. I love anime and jpop bands.

 

Meanwhile, Yamada Ryosuke is an 18 years old guy with a charismatic look. He’s the type of guy who loves girls with beautiful looks, specially eyes and hair. He’s also popular when it comes to girls. He’s not a 2 timer but he easily gets girlfriends after a break-up. He’s also smart type despite of his attitudes.

 

We became friends first when Yamada and his parents moved to the house next to ours. We became neighbors, friends…. until we became best friends. But Yamada didn’t know that I like him.

 

-Why?- I sent him my reply. I waited for a few seconds before I received his.

-I have something for you.-

-What is it?-

-It’s a surprise. Let’s meet at the same coffee shop.-

-okay.- I replied then hurriedly changed my clothes.

 

When I arrive at the usual coffee shop, I saw him sitting near the counter.

“Ryo-chan .” I called his name and went near him. I took a sit in front of him. “So what’s this thing you have for me?”

“Ummm… Actually…it’s not something…. It’s SOMEONE. By the way I already ordered your favorite cake.” He said smilingly.

“So who’s this someone you’re talking about?” I casually asked and took a little slice of the cake he ordered. I felt a little nervous. I somewhat know what will be going on. It also happened a couple of times.

“I think she’s here.” He said then waved at the newly arrived customer at the front door.

I looked at the direction he’s looking and I saw one of my closest friend approaching us.

“Hi Mi-chan.” Kawashima Umika greeted and gave me a sweet smile.

“Umika-chan? What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Anou~ actually she’s the ‘someone’ I’m talking about.” Yamada said and gently guides Umika to sit beside him.

“EH? Wait I’m confused…” I said then looked curiously to the both of them.

“She’s my new girlfriend.” Yamada said then smiled at me.

‘WHAT? GIRLFRIEND?’ that word echoed to my mind. I felt like a giant arrow stoke my heart or a giant hammer shattered my heart into pieces. My heart hurts when he said those words in front of me.

It’s the 3^rd time that he introduced his girlfriend to me. Even though it’s the 3^rd time, still I love him, that’s why I feel hurt.  But Yamada was so dense to feel it. Every time that he gets broken hearted with his past girlfriends, I’m always by his side, comforting him. I always treat him and give him gifts, hoping that he will notice me. But still he didn’t. Instead he always court one of my friends, and he will beg for me to stand as their bridge in their getting to know each other stage.

Because I love him, I didn’t want to lose our friendship, so I helped him. Every night, I cried because of heartache. I know I’m stupid for loving him and doing all those kind of things for him, but I’m still hoping for a chance for him to notice my feelings for him.

            “Girlfriend?” I asked, the side of my eyes starts to become teary, but I tried my best to control it from falling.

            “Hai. Is it okay?” Yamada asked me, and still he was smiling.

            “A-ah…a nou… s-sure….it’s okay.” I said, pretending to be okay and gave them a fake smile. But inside, I want to say, “WHAT THE HELL? ! Do you think its okay with me? Of course not! Don’t you see I’m hurting?!’

            Yamada also smiled to me. I just gave them a fake smile. After a few seconds, I made an excuse to leave. I can’t stand it anymore. My tears will start to fall down. I feel like I’ve been betrayed.

When I got home, I locked myself in my room. I cried and cried while hugging the giant stuffed bear that Yamada gave to me. I’m releasing my heartaches by crying. I’m so stupid for hoping that he’ll also love me.

“RYO-CHAN ! BAKA!” I exclaimed and punched the bear with all my strength. “Why can’t you see me other than your best friend? ! I hate you!”

When I calmed down, I started to write down in my diary. It’s a way to calm myself. Every time Yamada hurt my feelings, I always write it in my diary. STUPID . . . but it is my way of releasing all the feelings I feel for him. I hope someday, that he will discover my feelings for him, but for now it’s like 0%.

Days have passed and still I’m pretending to be okay when he’s in front of me. He even asks advice on how to make Umika happy while me, still trying to help him. ‘Oh what the hell are you doing?! are you crazy? !’ my mind always tells me this. Every night I always end up crying in my room because of jealousy. When Umika and Yamada started dating, they are always seen together. Yamada also lessen his time being with me.  I always wait for him to get home, for us to have at least a bonding time, but he always say he’s tired so I always end up going home. .  sad. .  and hurt.

 1 week before Valentine’s Day

 I was busy studying alone in the library when my phone rang. It’s him… calling. My heart beat fast; I cleared my throat before I answered it.

“Hai?” I said, with a cold voice, pretending to be busy.

“Mi-chan? Are you free today? I’m planning to go to amusement park. If you’re not busy, maybe we could have some fun?”he said.

I didn’t answer for a couple of seconds. I want him to persuade me. But inside of me, I’m so happy that he still remembers me.

“Mi-chan? Maybe you’re busy. Sorry for disturbing you.”

“No, I mean, I’m not busy. Where are we going to meet?” I asked.

Yamada told me the directions on how to get to the amusement park.

I really want to scream because of happiness. I immediately fixed my things and hurriedly went to the meeting place.

When I arrived at the amusement park, I saw him sitting on the entrance’s bench. I gasped when I saw him. He looks more handsome than before.

‘Here you are again; I thought you’ll be forgetting your feelings for him.’ My right side of the brain said to me.

‘I’m wrong. I still love him. ’ my heart contradicts my brain’s sentence.

‘It’s your choice. You’ll end up crying again if you continue to love him.’  My left side of the brain said.

I went to the bench where he sits. I’m already halfway when he saw me.

“Mi-chan!” he said then suddenly hugged me.

I was surprised by his gesture.

“R-ryo-chan.”

“I miss you.”  He said, and then he cupped my face on his hands.

“Look who’s talking, you’re the one who suddenly avoided me.” I said with a jealous tone.

“I have to. Umika is so jealous whenever he sees me with other girls, even though I just talked to them. Sorry dear.” He apologized. “But now, we’re already broke up.”

‘Dear’ that word echoed to my mind. He said that word in a sweet voice. I smiled.

“Still, why would she be jealous of me? She knows I’m your best friend.” I said.

“I don’t know. “ he said.

He released me then grabbed my right hand. “Let’s go. Let’s have some fun. I owe you many days. And I really missed those days being with you.”

I smiled. He’s so sweet to me.

‘Is this a dream? Please don’t wake me up.’

‘It’s true. He really missed you my DEAR.’ My heart said.

“Mi-chan?” he said when he noticed that I’m daydreaming in front of him.

“H-ha? Ahh… H-hai.. I miss you too. You really owe me one.” I said then smiled.

He laughed.

“Let’s go.” He said then guides me to the first ride.

A few days later, we started to be close again. But this time, it is a different closeness that we made. If other people do not know us, they assume that we are couple, but in reality we’re not. I’m also surprised about his behavior. He’s sweeter to me than before. He always mails me. Sometimes he would invite me to have a snack, or dinner with him. I don’t know, if he just do this for the days he ignored me, or something else. I don’t want to assume because I know I would end up being hurt. But talking about his doings, I’m 60% hoping that he realized what I am to him.

‘You already assume that he likes you.’ My brain said.

‘There’s nothing wrong in hoping.’ My heart said.

‘it’s your choice. Remember, most of the guys’ just want girls to hope, especially if they knew they had feelings for them.’  My brain reminded me.

I was surprised when my cellphone vibrated. It’s a mail from him. I immediately opened it.

‘Are you free tomorrow?’ [Yamada]

‘why?’ [me]

‘I want to invite you tomorrow. It’s valentine’s day. I want to date you.’ [yamada]

 I almost screamed when I read his mail. ‘HE WANTS TO DATE ME !’

I thought for a few seconds of what to reply to him.

‘Eh? Liar. But im not busy tomorrow. XDDD’ [shida]

‘it’s true. Let’s just meet at the coffee shop tomorrow.’ [yamada]

I smiled. I already excited for tomorrow.

‘okay.’ [shida]

‘I love you.’[ yamada]

My eyes opened wide when I read his last message to me. ‘I love you?? He loves me??’

‘of course he does. You’re his best friend right?’ my brain said.

‘no. I think he already loves me not as his best friend. But more.’  My heart said.

‘does he? I think it’s just a friendly love. Nothing more.’ [brain]

‘it’s the first time he said those words  to me.’ [heart]

‘don’t be stupid! Remember how many times he hurts your heart!’ [brain]

‘maybe he realized my existence . Maybe he realized that I’m the right girl for him.’ [heart]

‘okay whatever. I’m just reminding you not to trust that guy.’ [brain]

 I sighed. I’m confused of what he said to me.

‘what did you say? XD are you making a fool of me?’ I answered his mail.

 

 

Valentine’s Day

I hurriedly went to the coffee shop on which we are to meet. I was 15 minutes late for our ‘date’. I arrived at our meeting place. But I didn’t saw him at the coffee shop. ‘maybe he’s late.’ I waited for him inside then ordered a chocolate cake for myself. I glanced at my little gift for him. I bought him a silver necklace with a small cross pendant.

1 hour has passed but he still hasn’t arrived. I tried to call him but he doesn’t answer his phone.

‘I told you, he isn’t in love with you.’[brain]

‘I’ll still wait. Maybe he’s already on his way.’[heart]

‘YOU’RE SO STUPID!’ [brain]

‘I know. But I still want to hope.’ [heart]

I waited for him for the last 30 minutes.  But still he doesn’t arrive at the coffee shop. I feel that my eyes become teary. I feel that my heart tightens. It’s the first time that Yamada do this to me. I’m very excited for this moment, but he didn’t come. I clutched the letter in my hand. I wrote a love letter for him. I decided to confess to him this day. I decided to leave the coffee shop because I can feel that my tears will fall down anytime.

I was on my home when I passed by on the park. I saw a familiar figure sitting on a bench with a girl.

‘Ryo-chan?’

I went near to clearly see the image.

“Ryo-chan?” I asked.

“ Mi-chan?”  Yamada was so shocked when he saw me.

My tears falls down on my cheeks. I saw him together with Umika. He didn’t come to the coffee shop because he’s with her. ‘DAMN.! I was being cheated.’

“What are you doing here?” Yamada asked, in a nervous tone.

“What am I doing here? I was supposed the one who would ask that question to you.  I’m waiting for you at the coffee shop. You said that we’re going to celebrate this day together, but instead.  . . You’re with her!” I angrily said while crying. “I’ve always waiting for you but you’re just ignoring me! I was hoping that someday you will also love me , not just your best friend, but more… I LOVE YOU ! but you’re so dense to feel it. Or blind to see it !” I added before I walked out. I don’t care if Umika was there. All I want is for him to know my hidden feelings for him.

“Wait ! Mi-chan!”

I heard him called my name, trying to stop me. But I walk too fast. I can’t already see the road I’m walking at because of my tears. 

“Look out !” I heard him yelled at me. But it was too late. I saw a bright light heading towards me. Before I have a chance to react, I feel a hard impact on my body. After that I feel that I bump my head really hard on the road’s pavement. Before I lost my consciousness, I saw him, trying to wake me up.

“Mi-chan? Hold on.” He said.

Yamada’s POV

“Mi-chan?  Hang on. We’re on our way to hospital.” I said. I was so stupid! It’s my fault.

I cried. Now i realize how much she’s important to me.

When we arrive at the hospital , the nurses and doctors immediately run her to the emergency room. I waited outside the room. I looked at the crumpled paper that she dropped a while ago. It has already blood stains. I opened it and read the contents.

            Ryo-chan,

                        Happy valentine’s day!

                        I’m happy that you’re inviting me for the first time to celebrate with you this special day. You know what? I LOVE YOU. Not just a friend, or best friend. . . but a special person, a special guy whom I love the most. Maybe you’ll not believe me, ‘cause you just see me as only your best friend. I love you since the day you said to me that “You’re the most special person to me.” I tried my very best for you to notice my feelings for you, but, you’re so blind and dense to see and feel it. I know im not that pretty, and I’m not your type. I hide my feelings for you, because I don’t want to lose our friendship. But I cant stand it anymore. Every time you had a new girlfriend and you ask me to help you , I always end up being stupid, helping you , while me, I was like being dumped around the corner. I cried because of pain I felt in my heart. But now, I was hoping that you already realize my existence to you. When you said last night that you love me, I was so happy!  It’s the first time you said those words to me. 

I want to confess my feelings to you before , but I was so afraid that you will start to avoid me. I hope that when you read this, you’ll not avoid me.. XDD

                        I’ll wait for your answer. XD

 

                                                                                                            -Shida Mirai-

I’m already crying after I read the letter. I want to punch myself ! I was being so stupid for all this time. I’ve hurt her so much. i didn’t know that she suffered so much because of me. I was so blind that the girl I’ve been waiting is just around me.

I was about to stand when a thing falls down from the envelope. I picked it up. It’s a necklace that has a small cross. It’s her gift for me.

“Anou~ are you one of the patient’s relative?” a voice said.

“H-hai.” I answered.

“I’m sorry to say but. . .she didn’t have the chance to survive. We do all what we can, but she, herself, didn’t hold on.” The doctor said.

When I heard this I was shocked.

“NO SHE’S STILL ALIVE! I CAN FEEL IT! WHERE IS SHE? LET ME SEE HER!” I cried.

“Calm down, I know how you feel. But we can’t do anything. She chooses not to hold on.” The doctor said then leaves.

I end up crying in the hospital corridor. She died because of me. After a few minutes, the nurse accompanied me inside the emergency room to see her.

I saw her. She’s like sleeping. But she’s not smiling. I held her hands and put it in my face to feel her. She’s beginning to get cold.

“ Mi-chan? Can you hear me? I’m sorry. I was so stupid. I’ve always hurt your feelings. Forgive me. I know it’s too late but, what I’ve said last night was true. I love you. I really do. Not just a friend. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” I said. I cried really hard. I kissed her before saying my goodbyes.

Author’s POV

Sometimes we tend to be blind and dense to the people around us. We always look beyond things. We didn’t notice that the person we’re looking for is already by our side. We just realize how much important a person to us when they’re already gone.

 

__END__

 

hope you like it minna..XD sorry if my grammar is wrong.. XDD

comments are ♥