“Thank you, your Highness. For everything.” Jinki murmurs after he steps back from Junmyeon.

Junmyeon didn’t want to cry. He promised himself he wouldn't cry but he would've succeeded if it weren't for one stubborn tear. “Jinki, my words about taking care of my sister is genuine. If you ever make her cry, just like how you did with me,” Junmyeon mutters the last few words while smiling, “I shall not forgive you.”

“I can assure you, I will not, your Highness.” Jinki tells him. Why does it hurt him to see Jinki’s smile? Why does it hurt him to know that Jinki will definitely keep the promise dearly in his heart? Is it bad that Junmyeon wish that Jinki would've kept his promise about staying with Junmyeon through the ups and downs?

Funny thing is that Jinki would still keep that promise. Except he will no longer be there as Junmyeon's lover but instead, his brother-in-law.

Junmyeon wants to cry.

“Now go! She would notice that you have been gone for quite some time.” Even with a shattered heart, Junmyeon still tries to smile through his tears.

“I understand. I will take my leave now.” He bows then turns to the direction back to the palace. “And Junmyeon,” He pauses before giving Junmyeon another squeeze on the latter's hand. “Remember I loved you.”

Such bittersweet words to end their story in this cold night. The past tense in the word “love” is the full stop to everything. Junmyeon shouldn't feel upset. He shouldn't. But not even he himself can control his own feelings.

However, Junmyeon is not at all surprised when Yifan walks up to him after Jinki is no longer in view. He had actually seen Yifan standing back there before he closed his eyes. Why does Yifan keep popping out at the time when his secret speaks the loudest?

“Apparently the cat is out of the bag,” Junmyeon confesses when Yifan is already in front of him. “It seems to me that now that you are aware of all my secrets. And you do know how important it is to lock this secret?”

“I know.” Yifan replies, eyes painfully searching something in Junmyeon's.

Junmyeon can't bear it. He doesn't want Yifan to think of him pathetically again. Junmyeon is just too pitiful right now. “We should leave as well. My siblings might be searching for me.” Not waiting for Yifan, he walks pass him with chest heaving up and down. Where does he put his dignity? Is there any left?

At least Yifan is not making any unnecessary comments.

What is going inside your mind, Junmyeon? Yifan doesn’t pity Junmyeon if that is the reason why he is refusing to look at him. All he cares is if Junmyeon needs time away from the fireworks in the hall. Going back in the hall meant Junmyeon will be seeing his sister whom he loved timelessly, in the arms of what he used to call his lover. How did he manage to make a straight face since day one?

“No.” Yifan stops in his trance.

Junmyeon heaves out a sigh. He knows Yifan won’t let it go easily this time too. “Yifan, just this time—”

“No. We are not going back in there.”

“Please—”

Grabbing Junmyeon’s hand, Yifan’s drag him to the nearest gazebo. There are just a few people but it is better than having to turn back to the secluded area. He fears Junmyeon might wriggle out of his grasp if it takes too long.

“We are not going back.” Yifan repeats, letting go of Junmyeon’s hand. When they arrive there, some of the guests who were there before them immediately bows and greet them. One look from Yifan, all of them exited the gazebo.

“God, Yifan. Could you listen to me for once?” The smaller prince tries to escape but Yifan blocks his path every time. Junmyeon is becoming more and more frustrated when Yifan starts holding him place. “What do you want me to do, Yifan?!” Finally, he cries out.

Yifan feels himself still for a tad second before he pulls Junmyeon into his embrace. “Stay. Just stay here.”

Junmyeon’s tired. Drained even and Yifan isn’t making this situation easy. “Please stop this.” There’s not even enough will in Junmyeon to push him away. Why? Just why can’t Junmyeon suffer this alone? As terrible as that sound, it’s better than pathetically showing your weakness to someone else. “Do you know how hard this is for me?”

“Then. Let us not make things harder for you. Stay here with me instead of going back there.” What scares Yifan the most right now is if Junmyeon might end up crying in front of his sister. Then Yifan wouldn’t be able to save him at all.

“I don’t want to cry, Yifan. How many times do I have to?”

It sounds like Junmyeon is finally surrendering when his hand drops to his side. Yifan leans back enough to see the hurt expression on Junmyeon's face. He knows that Junmyeon is trying so hard to hold his tears from falling again but just by the first touch on Junmyeon's cheek, everything comes crumbling down. “Tell me, Yifan. Why after all this time, he still does not want me?”

Shocked by Junmyeon’s outburst, Yifan pulls Junmyeon's nape until he is leaning his forehead on his neck. Junmyeon's cries are being muffled by Yifan's suit, and there's nothing that Yifan can do now other than to let Junmyeon empties his heart out through his tears.

This feels like deja vu, except it's more painful because Yifan knows who and what the cause is. The way Junmyeon tightens his grip on Yifan's sleeve every time his muffled cries gets harder, how do Yifan take a way even just a little of Junmyeon’s pain?

Although Yifan tries to wipe Junmyeon's tears away but the brown haired male refuses to lift his head thus, Yifan has no choice than to let Junmyeon clings his head on his shoulders.

Took a while before Junmyeon calms down. Yifan worries that the guests nearby might suspect something. He forcefully yet gently pushes himself away from Junmyeon before taking out the mask from his back and wears it on Junmyeon.

He is glad that Kyungsoo’s instinct had said that he should've brought this along tonight. Who would've thought it might become useful this instance? Junmyeon didn't protest and instead, helps Yifan ties the ribbon tighter around his head.

The mask couldn't hide his bloodshot eyes but at least people nearby couldn't tell that he'd been crying by his concealed red nose and cheeks. “I... I apologize.” Junmyeon croaks out. “For... always taking you along into my mess.”

Even if it is true, Yifan didn't care. The mess is what Yifan had expected when he declared himself to Junmyeon. He just didn't expect the mess to be this lethal. “It is nothing like that.”

“Still...” Junmyeon sniffles. His stiff hair is starting to loosen a little. “God, it would be great if I can return to my chamber now.”

That's actually a good idea. Who needs to attend this gala anyways? The Kings from all kingdoms are having fun on their own. The attention also has already shifted to Earl Jinki and Princess Bora. It’s going to be fine. “Come then.” He offers his hand to Junmyeon. Yifan won't force the latter if he refused.

Junmyeon hesitantly eyes Yifan's palm before fixing his mask then slips his fingers along Yifan's. “Alright.”

That is all it takes for Yifan to squeeze his hand and leads them inside the palace. Instead of where they come from, they entered through the main door. By that way, they don't have to stagger through the crowd.

This shouldn't have happened. Junmyeon feels awfully terrible that Yifan has to save him from feeling much, much worse. At the same time, he is beyond grateful because going back in the hall would have opened his wounds and there’s no way Junmyeon can hide.

All this time, he's been locking up his feelings, conceal his sweet past with Jinki for his sister's happiness. He loves Bora so damn much that when the King made an announcement, his body was shaking because that was his boyfriend right there, is being engaged to one of the people he would take a sword for.

It goes without saying that whatever escapade they were on, had to end on that spot. It would have hurt less if Jinki didn't seem so happy at the engagement. Junmyeon knows that Jinki probably hates himself for having to hurt Junmyeon but what else is there to be done?

All of these feelings, Junmyeon can't say that he didn't try. He did. Junmyeon limits his appearance at home. He rides with his friends often. Play archery with the kids. But whenever he feels like he's closer to being numb, the feelings hammer him back.

It was going so well especially with Yifan around. Only lately he's been on edge because it's finally going to be announced and Jinki can no longer be seen in a certain way.

It made him panic.

“Junmyeon, look at me.” The light pinch on his chin called his soul back to his body. He didn't notice that they have already passed the guards and are already in his chamber. “I asked if you wanted to wash your face.”

“Oh...” Junmyeon probably looks disarray right now. The dried tears on his face. His ugly red complexion whenever he cries. It is unfortunate that Yifan had to see all that. “I will be right back.” He takes off the mask and hands it to Yifan.

After the sound of the bathroom door clicked shut, Yifan breathes out a damn long sigh. Tonight turns out to be different from what he had expected. He at least had in mind that his last night here meant unforgettably sweet memories, enough to last a lifetime or until their next meeting although he's not sure when that will be. But he's here, right now, sitting on the window seat in Junmyeon's room, stuck in Junmyeon's love story. And the saddest part is that he isn't in it neither that the love story is a happy one.

Minutes later, Junmyeon comes out from the bathroom with wet hair and wet face. Yifan hands him a small towel he found hanging by his wardrobe to which the smaller prince thanks him for it. “I informed the guards that you are unwell so if any of your family inquires for you, they would know where to find you.”

“Thank you, Yifan.” Junmyeon says again. It seems like these days he owes Yifan a lot.

Yifan nods, gesturing him to the bed. Taking off all the formal suit would be a hassle, Junmyeon just wants to lay down so with the exception of his shoes, he lets his tired body be succumbed by the softness of the mattress. His eyes are getting sleepy and sleepier as a result of him crying.

“Very well. I do not want to disturb your resting. I will take my—”

“It is alright.” Junmyeon interrupts Yifan before the latter could twist the door knob open. “You said you wanted me to stay with you. So, Yifan, you may stay.”

The hand on the door handle lifts as he takes steps closer to Junmyeon. “Are you sure? You might—”

“I am.” Junmyeon insists. “After all, did I not tell you that your presence makes everything feels right?”

Oh...Wait, Yifan pauses. Does that mean... Junmyeon remembers that night when he was drunk? That night when Junmyeon pecked his cheek?

But he didn't say anything...

Oh quit it, Yifan. It is just a kiss on the cheek, what is there to fuss about. Right now, just focus on what really matters;

Junmyeon.

“Here we are again just like the other night, where you stand by me with questions in your head.” The light brown haired male glances up to Yifan after barely making himself comfortable on the bed.

Yifan notes that Junmyeon is referring to the night when he first visited Junmyeon in his room. “I do not deemed any explanations from you this time.”

“Really? But this time I will tell you. That is at least what I owe you.” It is Yifan's last night in this kingdom. What does it say of Junmyeon if he lets Yifan off with a bad reputation of him? “You may make yourself comfortable here.” He scoots to side to make enough space for Yifan.

“Oh it is fine! Standing is fine.”

For the first time today, Junmyeon genuinely lets out a chuckle. “You are not shy, are you? It is fine, Yifan. It would be easier to talk to when you are near.” Funny how lately Junmyeon has been seeing a different side of Yifan. He was always so fearless, intimidating at times and his aura is never invisible. But even the Ruby prince has a reserve side.

Since Junmyeon offered and Yifan has to bear in mind that this is for the sake of Junmyeon to hear him better and not for any improper reason, Yifan sits stiffly by Junmyeon's side. Although awkward, Yifan still can't stop his reflex in tugging the duvet up until Junmyeon’s chest.

“Should I begin telling you the story now?” Junmyeon asks.

“Only when you are comfortable enough.”

The smaller closes his eyes for a moment before turning to lie down on his side facing Yifan. Even when he begins, Junmyeon still has his eyes closed.

Jinki has always been there. He was a friend from day 1. There's no other someone who is closer with the Amber siblings except for him. But most importantly, Jinki, the son of the Duke of Peterlee, loves Bora from the moment he knows what is the meaning of love.

And Junmyeon, learned how to keep a secret at a young age.

Junmyeon was 13 when Jinki kept talking about his sister. He would mention how pretty Bora is. Or how he is proud that Bora excels her studies. Since there's only one prince from the Amber, almost by default Junmyeon is the closest to Jinki. And he didn't doubt that Jinki has fallen for his sister.

But being the person closest to Jinki is both a blessing and a curse. Junmyeon didn’t know when he started seeing Jinki in a different light. Maybe it's because Jinki is always there to let Junmyeon sleep on his shoulder after helping him with his studies. Maybe it's that time when Junmyeon had an accident where he fell from his horse and had to be bedridden for 4 days and Jinki never once left his side.

It was Junmyeon’s fault that he thought he could make Jinki forget his long time crush on his sister. He didn't think Princess Bora would ever consider Jinki to be his lover. After all, Bora did repetitively say that she sees Jinki almost like a brother.

So after Junmyeon celebrated his 19th birthday, he was pretty confident to confess to his best friend.

“Prince Junmyeon, I do not understand.” Jinki panics after Junmyeon had professed his love under the bright moonlight.

“I am saying that I like you. For a while now. Although, I am the prince but I wish to do this properly. I know you might not feel the same yet, but I would like to try.” He was really putting his friendship of years on the line. If his confession ends up poorly, it would be hurtful for his friendship, pride and also his heart. “So what is your honest answer, Jinki?”

There can be many reasons as to why Jinki accepts his confession. Junmyeon just hope it's not out of guilt or pity. But after a few months of secret rendezvous, Junmyeon knows that their love is real.

All the love stories he read, both tragic and happy ones, he had imagined himself in the place of the protagonist and Jinki as the lover. So to finally able to do all those romantic gestures with Jinki is a dream come true. Keeping their affair at that time as a secret seems like the best decision. Jinki being 5 years older than him shouldn't be a problem but he's afraid that the King might oppose their relationship. And he can't have that especially when they had just started.

As long as Jinki is there to secretly greet him with a kiss when no one is looking, everything is already in a good place.

Junmyeon had his first real heartbreak when every family member is being summoned by the King. Jinki and his father were also present. Just after the meeting, Junmyeon planned on asking Jinki to go horse-riding.

But the invitation died in his stomach when his father suddenly drops the bomb.

“After much discussion with the Duke of Peterlee, I, the King of Amber would like to wed my eldest daughter, Princess Bora with his eldest son, Earl Jinki. This decision has been thought carefully in accordance to Bora’s choices of husband. Any objections please bring it forth.”

Junmyeon felt his heart thumping very fast. Faster than it has ever been.

No.

That’s my lover. He wanted to step forth and stop this madness. Princess Bora doesn't even like Jinki, so how can they get married?

“I have no objections, father.” Bora says although her voice lacks of enthusiasm.

Junmyeon looked at Jinki who was sweating terribly under his collar. He probably felt like he was walking on thin ice. If Jinki said no, it would complicate things more, wouldn’t it?

Alas, Junmyeon decided to know his place and gives and encouraging nod to Jinki.

The latter immediately understands what he meant.

Only God and the angels know how his heart was screeching when Jinki informs that he has no objection. If only everyone can see how his heart is bleeding when the King finalized that there will be a wedding taking place few months from then.

“Cruel, isn't it?”

Yifan glances down to Junmyeon’s expressionless face. He still looks beautiful even with his hair drenched. But the emptiness in his eyes isn't. However, Yifan understands that no matter what, not even Yifan can take it away from Junmyeon. It made him realize how powerless he is in Junmyeon's life. “Sometimes, there are just things that is not meant to be.”

“Right.” Junmyeon sighs, sitting up suddenly. “It is too bad that I fell for someone who I cannot have.”

Oh trust him, Yifan thinks he knows what that feels like. Especially now when he feels so close with Junmyeon.

This is what he wants. To know all about Junmyeon's secret. To know about Junmyeon's pain so that it'd make them closer. But somehow, the more he knows about Junmyeon, the farther he feels despite being in the same room as he is. He watches Junmyeon steps out from the duvet. The smaller prince pauses before standing up then walks to the window seat.

The suit Junmyeon wears still feels like it's suffocating him. His night gown is already folded on top of the window seat. One by one, he s and removes the layers of his suit.

“Uhh...” Yifan clears his throat when he feels an alarm ringing in his head. “Should I wait outside while you uh... undress?”

“Oh...” Junmyeon stops at the last piece before he is totally topless. He was totally in his thoughts that he had no time to even feel shy. That is until he noticed how embarrassed Yifan is right now. “You... can look elsewhere.”

“Sure!” Yifan blurts out, turning his body to face the opposite. “You may notify me when you are done.”

Junmyeon can't help but chuckle at the taller prince. He realizes that Yifan has many both charming and cute points. No wonder his sisters are so fond over him. Even his eldest sister, Bora.

It is just unfortunate that Yifan's last night here is with Junmyeon bawling his eyes out. Even so, he feels tons better by having Yifan here, right now. Maybe, some part of Junmyeon doesn't want this night to be his last night with Yifan. Does that make him crazy?

“I am done.” Junmyeon says, placing his suit neatly on the window seat. Instead of going to the bed, Junmyeon remains standing at the window. There are still guests present in the garden, dancing with their dates. Junmyeon's a little jealous. “This is my favourite melody.”

“Beg your pardon?” Yifan walks towards him to see what he's been staring at as well.

“This song. It is my favourite.” He states, remembering all those times his sister used to play it on repeat. “The singer is one of the best in town. She has a lovely voice. My sisters would dance to her ballads and eventually pull me in.”

Humming to the barely audible song, Junmyeon has always wanted to dance with someone to this song despite him not being fond of dancing. However, this song just might be an exception. He loves the tune and lyrics about getting lost in the fantasy of love.

Yifan has never heard of any music from Amber but the way Junmyeon’s feet are subtly moving, he thinks he knows what to do next. “Neither of us had a proper dance tonight. Although I can barely hear the music, do you mind?” Yifan shyly offers his hand.

“Are you asking me to dance now?”

Maybe that was too cheesy, Yifan grimaces in his head. This usually happens in books but maybe in the bedroom where one is wearing a night gown isn't at all appropriate. “Well...”

Before Yifan could retract his hand, Junmyeon immediately takes hold of it. “I don’t see why not.”

They move to the centre part of the room and both of them just stare at each other with their hands still intact. “So...” Yifan is not sure where to put his hands. He’s only danced twice in his life with someone that is not his teacher.

But then, Junmyeon starts of by placing his free hand on Yifan's waist. “Is this okay?” Frankly, it feels a bit weird since Yifan has always had his partner’s hand on his shoulder instead. So, he takes Junmyeon's palm, and slide it upwards until it is on his shoulder. “I'd like this better.” Yifan grins.

“Oh...” Junmyeon too is never used to this position. But he wouldn't mind. Junmyeon is shorter anyways. Yifan’s hand on Junmyeon’s waist moves up until it is placed behind his back before they start moving.

“You know,” Junmyeon laughs softly. “I do not think this is really working.”

It isn't like in the film or in the books where dancing feels like floating. Instead, it feels awkward and a little embarrassed but Yifan made no suggestion to stop. “Shhhh let us pretend that it is.”

Shaking his head, Junmyeon steps closer until he shifts his hands so that both of his arms are around Yifan's shoulder. Yifan's hand on Junmyeon's back move towards his waist. “This is more relaxing.”

“I guess ballroom isn't really our thing.” Yifan shrugs.

Moving slightly side by side, Junmyeon has this thing in his heart where it beats a little faster when Yifan's chest moves against his. It made Junmyeon highly aware on how close they are but strangely it is comfortable. The sense of security he feels being near to Yifan, it is almost endearing. At first, it was just his hunch that being around Yifan calms him, but now, leaning his ear on Yifan's shoulder, he wishes the time would stop.

Everything just feels right.

“You know, Junmyeon. It is not the end.” Yifan lifts his hand to twirl Junmyeon before the smaller comes back into his arms. “Even if Earl Jinki chooses not to be with you, I know there are many people out there who would.”

Junmyeon likes to contradict that statement but he lets Yifan pulls him closer again. “Really?” He questions sarcastically. It may be flattering but Junmyeon really doesn't see anyone now who would want to spend his whole life with Junmyeon.

“Really.” Yifan affirms, placing his lips just above the shell of Junmyeon's ear. “Like me.”

That took Junmyeon by surprise. “Wh..what?” Junmyeon immediately glances up to Yifan. He expects Yifan to break into a mischievous smile for making a joke. But then, Yifan doesn't meet his eyes. He looks away out of the window as if there are thousands of things playing in his mind. “What do you mean, Yifan?”

Wi