The survival kit by Assumptions

reviewed by sungjaeseon

Title: 5/5

Your title is unique. It’s simple yet interesting. It creates a lot of questions for your readers and it’s pretty metaphoric. Readers can imagine different scenarios just by reading your title. It also grasps attention.

Presentation: 5/5

Your presentation is simple yet elegant. It fits the mood of the story. Your poster and background sets the mood and tone of your story which creates this feeling. It’s pretty amazing.

Description & Foreword: 9/10

Perfect description, it would attract anybody who reads it. It’s very interesting. It made me think a lot and even if your story is focused in a girl’s perspective, I get the feeling of losing a mother, which was impressive. What did her mother want her to understand?  It gives me chills.

Your foreword talks about the protagonist’s crush and how she hopes for him to fix her broken heart, which I don’t see any relevance to. I think that loving a family member is different from loving someone who is not part of your family. I hope you what I’m trying to say. Also, towards the end of you sentence,“waiting for him to mend it back,” isn’t this redundant?“Waiting for him to mend it,” seems okay already. Don’t be too wordy.

Plot: 14/15

Your story is pretty easy to follow. I wouldn’t get lost in your ideas. It’s very helpful for readers not to get lost. I liked it how your story came to live. I could feel the protagonist’s sadness and her hope for her crush to notice her. Since it has been only two chapters, I wouldn’t say much but by far your plot has been written well.

Originality: 7/10

From what I have read by far, your story seems predictable. The story line is about a girl who tries to cope up with reality when her mother died. She then falls in love with a guy, who doesn’t even know of her existence. I still have other inferences but I it can lead into two ways. One, the guy will fall in love with her. Two, the guy will not even notice her and the girl’s mother’s things are there to help Taeyeon cope up with love.

Characterization: 5/10

You characterized the characters pretty well. But you have characterized only one character in detail. I think you should characterize more characters. Since it has only been two chapters, improvements can be made.

Conventions: 18/25 

Your grammar is impressive. I have had no problems with reading your story. Some sentence structures were a little bit choppy. However, all in all they were good and understandable. I didn’t get this part though, “I can't accept the fact that she is dead. She's my mother, the one that died because I was such a worthless freak that could not even earn some money for the bills. I closed my eyes and tried not to think of anything else.” You suddenly jumped from talking with Su Yeon and ending up with a sentence like this. It’s very incoherent. Your sentences should relate to each other, if they don’t, create a new paragraph.

Writing style and voice: 7/10

Your writing style is very unique and original. Your indentations made sense and you arranged it in a way that it would be presentable. You wrote with a first person’s perspective which in a guy’s point of view was very interesting to read. Taeyeon’s voice was well heard. I could feel what Taeyeaon was feeling. Her frustrations, her sadness and the feeling she gets when she sees her crush.

Overall Enjoyment: 8/10

I never thought that I would read such story but for now, you got me hooked. I’m wondering what will happen next and if ever my predictions are correct.

Total Score: 78/100

Thankiew! This is my first ever review I ever got. :3 I'll improve much better. :D