Part 2: Is it too late?
Silence
You wouldnt realize what you had.. until its completely gone
~
Daehyun pov
Soon after, the school hour is over. I quickly pick up my stuff and placed it properly inside my bag. But then, I heard a soft thud and I turn at the direction just to see Youngjae’s confused look, staring down at his bag that is lying on the floor. ‘umm?’ he hums confusedly, staring at his hands, moving it into a grip and slowly release it. ‘I.. I cant feel anything..’ he mumbles softly, but loud enough for me to hear it, or maybe just because the classroom is completely empty by now.
I walk closer to him, pulling his hands into mine, totally ignoring the look on his face when I did that, but, he look like he’s going to cry. I sigh softly, his hands.. Its so cold just like before but colder. I pull out my mitten from one of my pocket and hands it to him.
He slowly crave a smile on his lips, like he usually did, but for some reason maybe.. I start to think this smile of his is so.. precious.
‘Thank you Daehyunnie..’ he mumbles softly, pulling the blue mitten on his hands. I said nothing, squatting down and help him collecting his stuff. He tried to stop me but I simply ignore him.
As promised, Youngjae and his friend gathered in front of the school gate early in the morning with their luggage bag and all. After a long ride to the vacation house , Yongguk separate each of us in pairs for sharing a room. I guess its kinda a fate I always been paired up with Youngjae.
Youngjae happily flops on the king size bed and rolls on it like a kid. Which I found adorable. He stares up at me and give me a playful smirk before he reach my hands and pulls me down to fall on the bed. ‘look, its fluffy isn’t it?’ he ask, still smiling widely and I just nod.
‘neh, Daehyunnie, lets go to the beach later? Please please? I wanna watch the sunset’ Youngjae said sliding off the bed and start unpacking his stuff, I sit up and stares at him, he was picking what to wear. I walk closer and ruffles his hair, nodding quietly, I just couldn’t say no to this boy. He look up at me again and gives me one of his happy smile. I think my heart just stop beating for a moment. I wonder why.
I decide to finish up my book before heading to the beach with Youngjae. I find it awkward at first, sharing the same bed with a guy you know at school, but for some reason, staring at Youngjae sleeping face calm me. He has such an angelic face when he’s sleeping, and only god know how gorgeous he look. Why didn’t this realize it before?
An hour pass and Youngjae have been awake and change his cloth to something more comfortable to wear. I found its weird to see Youngjae not wearing his school uniform. What I could see now is like a different person. Youngjae have a very slim body. I wonder why he kept hiding it under those thick clothes. Well I guess maybe because he hates the cold.
After the long walk to the beach, well with Youngjae keep on tripping off the snow, we finaly manage to reach the beach. ‘Mianhae hyung,’ he smiles, rubbing his cheek because of the cold. ‘My view keep on blurring up.. maybe because of the cold, that why I keep on falling’ he apologize with telling the reason why he act like that. With that warm smile, who would be angry at him?
We stayed like that for a while, stay quiet, holding his hand, I was afraid he would fall again.
‘Daehyunnie hyung..’ he mumbles softly as we stares at the sun slowly setting, leaving the earth with his glory colour slowly fading down to black. ‘Im sorry for asking you out in this cold weather to come here with me..’ he continue slowly, still with his soft voice. ‘i..it just that.. I want to sea the sea..’ a warm smile slowly appear on his face, he turn to face me. ‘because no one want to see the sea during the winter.. the sea look so sad and lonely right now.. ’ he chuckles softly and move his gaze back to the sea. ‘but its okay~ we’re here right now, it wont get lonely anymore’
But suddenly Youngjae runs behind me, Its makes me confuse but then suddenly I felt the strong icy wind hits me, messing my hair up on its way. I could hear him giggles. But that not just the only thing I heard, when the wind blows me, I could hear him praying, ‘I wish we could stay forever.. like this’. But I decide to ignore it, because it doesn’t makes any sense.
He reaches out his hands toward mine and hold it firmly. ‘Daehyunnie hyung..’ again, with that soft voice, he called me out. I turn and stares at him, he stares back directly in my eyes, a very warm gaze but yet, surround by the coldness sorrow. ‘I like you a lot..’ he continue, puffing his white breath, his warm smile slowly turns into a sad one. I stares at him confusedly but he moves his hands and stares down to the ground. ‘hmm.. just forget what I just say..’ he mumbles softly and quickly walk away leaving me alone.
Did I hurt him?
Later on that night, I found myself in the living room, with the rest of Youngjae’s friends chattering happily and noisily. ‘You want some carrot hyung?’Youngjae ask. I said nothing and just stare at him, he smiles and put some in my bowl. But something seem wrong, that wasn’t the usual smile he give me, he was hurt.. it was all my fault.. Im the one to be blame..
But, how can I talk to him?
I tried to put all of my feeling for him in a word, but I just couldn’t describe it in a sentence. I frown and continue to eat, keep being silent as usual. Maybe .. maybe just because Im not used to talk to people. Im not good with words.
Im scared if my word would hurt him.
I went straight to bed after I finish cleaning up the dishes. I need to think of something to make Youngjae feels better. Well, I don’t actually know why.. but seeing him like that make me feel.. sad? No.. more than that.. but what is it?
I reach out a piece of paper and scribble down few word and placed it on his pillow. I slip in my pyjama and rolls in the king size bed, trying to sleep, but it doesn’t work at all.
After a while, I saw the door opened and the light turn on, revealing a tired looking Youngjae. He quickly change his cloth and turn off the light. I sigh softly, soft enough for him not to hear it. But as soon as he landed on the bed, he noticed the piece of paper and turn on the desk lamp to read it.
“ Youngjae ah,
Im sorry, I couldn’t put my word in a sentence.
Well, you know .. my problems.. but, again, Im sorry.
And about what you said earlier at the beach..
Can you teach me more about it?
-Daehyun “
I could see his smile in the dim light, its was as precious as before. He turn to look at me, but I quickly close my eyes and pretend to sleep. I could feel the bed moving as he got closer to me.
In a few second, I could feel something warm and soft against my own lips. But it fade as soon as it got. ‘Hyung, I would love to, but..’ he stuck at his word. I could feel something wet falling on my hand.
Tears.. that what that is.. something I never saw or imagine appear on his face, the sadness.
My heart stop beating abit, why does I feel like getting up and hugs him so badly? But I manage to stop myself and let him finish. I could hear he turn off the light and rolls himself closer to me, sliding his hands around me. ‘I would love to stay hyung.. I would love to teach you make you love me hyung.. but’ he mumbles softly between his sob, I could feel my shoulder getting wet of his tears.
‘but hyung.. I must go..’ he whisper before slowly fall asleep, leaving me puzzled.
What does he mean by that?
But I guess I figure it out as soon as I woken up by Himchan’s voice.
His cloth was nowhere to be found
His bag was nowhere to be seen
His phone were unanswered
At first we think it’s a joke and we’ll see him back at school
But, he was nowhere to be visible
The teacher said he have been transferred
Like a dream, no, maybe a nightmare for me
He was gone
Completely with no trace
But a letter
“ Thanks for spending time with me
-Yongjae ”
Is it too late for me to answer his love now?
~
I re-upload(?) this chapter again since AFF's tsunami wash it away ; u ;
please comment and Subscibe~
check out my one shoot Daejae fic ~
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