Just In case, memories are paragraphed in italics. There are some others events from the past too (no very detailed or described like those in italics) but to mark them as well as the memories, I use past tense.
Hope there's no confussion.

..................................................

CHAPTER 3

Give me back the love

-----------

How the night hurts me when I don't have your kisses
How it hurts me to think of you when the desire is killing me…
How can you forget a love when you carry it in your heart?
It's so hard to live like this because you are not here with me…

-----------

The day had been really hot, the night itself was uncomfortably warm, thank goodness they have air conditioning at Jaejoong's apartment and at that moment they were enjoying a bath together talking and laughing at whatever came to topic. It was a short moment they could savor in each other's company before they had to go back to their respective hectic lives.

What started as a simple game of throwing foam to the other ended in a heated make out session that led them to the bedroom. The next day he woke up totally sated but sad nonetheless without Yunho by his side.

………………..

Now it seems so silly getting mad just because his boyfriend had to leave earlier that time. Now that he's alone in his immense bathroom looking dejected to the sink where he still keeps Yunho's toothbrush next to his.

He has a curious way to deal with things, generally, the outcome is okay but this time everything was different... just in which moment Yunho began to think he doesn't love him anymore? He doesn't know.

Yunho, he doesn't dare to say that name out loud because it feels like stabbing himself and it’s so unbearable painful like lying down every night in bed knowing that it's over. How many nights till now?

He hugs his knees tightly to his chest. Yunho is engraved in his soul. He misses him, he does it and it's even worse when his lover has left an indelible mark all over the place. Does Yunho think the same about Jaejoong and his own apartment? He hopes so.

Maybe he already changed all. Jaejoong didn’t open the bag his ex-boyfriend brought with him the last time. He wonders if his toiletries are inside that bag. Maybe yes, maybe now her toothbrush is next to Yunho’s, maybe she has a robe folded in the last drawer of Yunho's closet now… just the thought makes him feel sick.

………………..

“Jaejoongie, baby… you should go to sleep…”

“It’s your fault!” Jaejoong said annoyed with sleepy voice. “It was you the one who wanted to watch TV and cuddle on the couch… I wanted to go to the bedroom right away!”

Yunho chuckled never failing on pulling out a smile from Jaejoong. “I wanted to chat a little and you know that if we go in there, we do everything but talk." He kissed Jaejoong's lips before the latter drifted off to sleep again.

The next thing Jaejoong knew was that he was being carried on Yunho's arms what woke him up abruptly. "Jung Yunho! Put me down or I swear..."

"Easy, Jaejoongie!" Yunho smiled fondly at him putting him down.

Jaejoong glared at his lover and then took him from the floor by surprise throwing him over his shoulder, laughing when his boyfriend just gasped in shock. "Aren't you going to complain?"

"Not really. I mean if you want to save me from walking to the bedroom... I'm fine with that. Besides, I have a really nice view of your from here so..."

"Yah! ert..." Jaejoong dropped to the floor to a grinning Yunho.

At that moment Yunho’s phone rang but he refused to answer. “I’m with you now, there’s nothing more important than being here with you."

“What if it was from work…?” Jaejoong looked at him moved for his words.

"I'm always amazed of how I can still make you blush after all this time..."

Jaejoong glared again at his lover before hugging him tightly and receiving a kiss on the forehead.

"You tease me because you know I love you..."

"I love you too and I always will..."

....................

'Always'... just in what moment that always became 'no more'? How could he let that happen?

Jaejoong remembers Yunho's words about ‘a matter of two where only one is interested in’ and knows that it’s totally useless wanting not to be the one that didn’t do enough, that's how he feels.

The first time they broke up all these years ago, he went out with other people. In fact he got to be in a sort of serious relationship twice with two people but they didn’t succeed on filling the void in his soul let alone the ones that were only ephemeral romances. Then, he started the calls. Just a few, once in a while at first but after, he called more often. He thought that he just wanted to hear his voice a little once again; after all it was only him the one that could make his entire being burst into flames. Yunho’s love was like fire and he knew, from the first moment Jaejoong laid his eyes on him, that he was the only one for him, to no-one else he could love the way he loved Yunho, the way he still loves Yunho.

When he's sitting at his table with exotic design, running his fingers through his still wet hair, he remembers that he chose to sit there too the day he made that call to Changmin.

.....................

"Jaejoong?"

"Oh... Hi, Changmin... how you'd been?"

"Fine. Jaejoong, what is it?"

The cold tone didn't stop him from keep talking.

"Well... I don't know if you know. You know for sure but... we had a fight and," he breathed deeply before continuing, "I've been trying to call him but he doesn't pick up so, I was wondering... did he change his number or something?"

He could hear the other sighing through the line.

"To be honest, I'd like to tell you that he did and you'll never know his new number but... No, he didn't change his number. If he doesn't answer your calls it's just because he doesn't want to..."

"I- I need to talk to him, I want to apologize... could you tell him to talk to me please?" Jaejoong said hesitant.

"No, I won't. Jaejoong. When you returned to our lives... -no, forget about me,- when you returned again to his life, I asked you only one thing and it was not to hurt him again... Yunho is the strongest person I've ever met and you broke him and I know he did his part of but still... while you were happy at that time with your new life and your partners you had to ruin every chance he had to move on with your selfish calls... I was still living with him back then and I saw everything but you both as the grown-up men that you are decided to try it again... and before you say anything, I asked for the same thing to him and he complied with not hurting you but you..."

"I didn't want to hurt him..."

"I don't know... the thing is that you did. So please now, leave him alone... let him go on with his life like he wants this time. We both know that for you won't be hard to do the same... you did it before you'll do it again at the end maybe you're stronger. Respect that he doesn't want you in his life anymore."

"I love him, Changmin..." He was trying that his voice wouldn't betray his inner turmoil while tears were streaming freely down his face at that point... "I've never moved on... I can't move on... I-"

"Stop it, Jaejoong. I answered your call because there was a time when you were one of my most precious friends... I still appreciate you a lot but you had your chance and it wasn't just one... Jaejoong, I know that I could be mean with Yunho sometimes but he knows that I love him as my brother. He's one of if not the most important person in my life... please leave him alone..."

"Changmin, I-"

"I'm going to hang up now. Bye Jaejoong."

.....................

They decided to go back together after their first breakup of almost four years, after a casual encounter they had. They had been talking only by the phone, Jaejoong was single once again since months ago. It took them just seeing each other and they ended in a discreet love-hotel where anonymity was guaranteed. It was far from the romantic session they have imagined, it was hurried, desperate and even a little too harsh, with more teeth than they would’ve like it but it was perfect nonetheless. At that moment Jaejoong knew that there was impossible satisfy his soul and his body at the same time with any other person if not with Jung Yunho, because he loved him, they loved each other. When they were together it wasn’t just about a physical union, it was pure love how Yunho used to say despite how cheesy Jaejoong used to tell him it was.

Jaejoong remembers the days when they used to lazily lie in bed or on the sofa or making a mess in the kitchen because Yunho was to impatient like to follow his instructions while trying to cook something… just the two of them laughing and chatting. He remembers the days when they didn’t even kiss but they were so fulfilling like spending a complete night making love.

He imagines Yunho’s girlfriend telling him to have and Yunho correcting her telling her that it’s ‘making love’. Jaejoong wants to throw up.

………………..

“You know that you can’t leave marks,” Jaejoong said giggling to his boyfriend that was very busy devouring his neck.

“It’s okay, maybe that way you could use a turtle neck once in a while.”

“I’m still going to wear a V-neck… if someone asks, I’ll tell that it was one of my cats anybody would believe it…” he laughed but he could feel how the other stiffened in his place suddenly moving away. “Yunhoyah?”

“Like when you told me it was your cat…” Yunho said in a lower voice that it was obvious Jaejoong wasn’t supposed to hear. “You’re right, some people are so easy to fool.”

“What that’s supposed to mean? Yunho…?”

“I need to use the bathroom.” That was the last thing he said before entering the said place. Jaejoong was nervous; he didn’t like at all the icy tone of his boyfriend’s voice. Even feeling a little silly, ridiculous even, he decided to wait for Yunho to come trying to look y laying his body over his bed and taking off his robe to reveal his body to his lover.

When Yunho went back to the bedroom, he barely looked at him and said that he received an important call from work that required his presence and just like that Jaejoong found himself, alone at his apartment with the trace of a cold kiss on his forehead that hurt in his chest.

Later, Jaejoong resolved to go to the other’s place. So he appeared there, carrying the strawberry dessert he had prepared and they didn’t get to eat. He entered the place and spotted his boyfriend sleeping on the couch of his living room as always that something was bothering him. He was laying his head over his giant teddy bear and for some reason Jaejoong sensed him totally vulnerable.

Jaejoong woke him up with a kiss. They ignored the dessert once again. In the bedroom, he thought that he didn't care if Yunho left marks all over his body. He did leave a lot over his lover to encourage him, on his neck, his shoulders, his chest... but Yunho didn't even attempt on leaving one. His heart ached a little more and worse when he heard his lover quietly sniffling on his neck after their release. His heart broke the moment he tried to hug his lover only to watch him standing up and leaving the room.

He was so tired he didn't know what time Yunho woke up or if he has slept with him at all. The bed was cold and after taking a shower he expected for his lover to enter with a just bought breakfast to spoil him in bed like always. After one hour when his hunger made him leave the room, he found his lover sleeping on the couch again.

He could feel something was utterly wrong despite they both spending the rest of the day together. It was that look on Yunho's eyes a mix of sadness, anger, desperation and hurt among the lovely ones he directed to Jaejoong, it was that look appearing over and over again during the last months, what contributed to the uneasiness in his being. It was that tiny voice telling him to face the situation that he preferred to ignore. Something was wrong but he just put it aside.

....................

-----------

How do I undo the hours when the road is so long?
How I conjure this loneliness if I only dream about you…
It's so hard to be able to forget your sleeping skin, your way of loving
It's so hard to lose you if I'm dying to see you…

-----------

If he just hadn't ignored that voice, that look, that pain... maybe he wouldn't be lying down alone in his bed again feeling that he just survived another afternoon without him.

He thought on going to Yunho's apartment but discarded the idea because the possibility of finding them together there scares him to no end.

He feels betrayed by his own mind. It seems that it's not only his body craving for the other's touch but his mind too missing every single part of him, bringing him dreams, memories and even nightmares about Yunho continuously. Did Yunho feel that way when he knew about Jaejoong being with someone else? Did he feel that much pain?

....................

They were fine again. They were seeing each other after a couple of months. Jaejoong had been working abroad and except for occasional calls, they hadn't been in contact as much as they'd liked due their hectic schedules.

"Oh gosh... you don't have an idea of how much I've missed you," Yunho trapped him in a bone crushing hug and they were kissing. "Did you miss me too?"

"Of course not," Jaejoong chuckled, "I was too busy hanging out with my friends..."

"O yea... my bad. Of course you didn't." Yunho let him go and Jaejoong felt like falling.

"Yunhoyah... I was kidding. You know I was joking right?... baby?"

Then that look of Yunho's eyes was there again. Jaejoong wanted to do something but Yunho's phone rang and he hurried to answer. Jaejoong thought to recognize Hojun's voice.

"I have to go... Work."

"But you said-"

"Whatever, sorry I can't stay, just call any of your friends..."

Jaejoong looked at him in disbelief; he knew Yunho was lying about the call. It hadn't even been twenty minutes since they had met. He wanted Yunho to stay, he wanted him to understand so he hugged him with one of those neck hugs reserved only for Yunho and he kissed him pouring all of his in the gesture.

"I love you, Yunho. I miss you from the instant you go away from me to the moment I see you again..."

The words Yunho said before leaving while gently pulling off his arms from him, still hurt Jaejoong.

"When you kiss me like this... I even believe you..."

....................

His friends. They had many arguments regarding their friends along the years. Some of them really ugly later ending in make up sessions that left them breathless every time.

Maybe he should have put more attention to what was happening outside the moments of intimacy they shared. Maybe he should ask more, worry more. Maybe he shouldn't have wait for Yunho to give the first step every time for a reconciliation. Maybe he shouldn't consider himself single at every break selfishly expecting all the contrary from Yunho.

Six in the morning, he fell asleep just one hour ago after drinking and smoking a lot when someone pokes him in the face. It's his old friend, Yunho's and his. One of the few people that know his password.

"You look like crap."

"I feel like crap."

"Go shower. I'll be making breakfast."

After a quick shower he goes to the kitchen

They talk while eating catching up about some other mutual friends. It's good for a change. Jaejoong had been appearing looking fine during the last two months. Only people that knew him better could see through his well-being mask. This particular friend can do it right away.

“Don’t you think is so heartless? Every time I call, he let it ring till the end… I only have the voice mail at the end. He doesn’t cancel the call, he didn’t block me… he just ignores me…”

"If you're going to ask me to help you to contact with him, I won't."

"But I-"

"You should give a try with that foreigner friend of yours, you know, the tall one…"

"He's not interested at all, totally straight. He just follows my lead and plays along till you can se him annoyed and-"

The laughter from his friend interrupts his words.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just that you heard so desperate through the phone 'cause you feel like dying without your ex and blah blah... and now you're here telling that the only reason you doesn’t try something with this guy is because he's not interested... it's amusing."

"No! You're misunderstanding this. I don't want anything with anyone else!"

"Don't forget that I caught you making out with this other 'friend' of yours at that party we went together. Do I have to remind you that Yunho and you weren't even in a break?" He takes a leftover toast and munches on a corner of it. "In fact he was at your apartment waiting for you at that moment."

"It was a mistake! I was so drunk... I told you... I-"

"I don't know Jaejae. I often wondered what had happened if I hadn’t stepped in or if it could be that you were alone with no-one that could interrupt you in some other party with the same or any other 'friend'."

"I-"

"Please, Jaejae... you don't have to pretend. Not with me."

"You're saying that I'm faking that it hurts me?!" Jaejoong says angered.

His friend just looks at him calmly. "Every time I had to tell him to trust you, I had the image of you with that guy's tongue in your throat replaying over and over again in my head..."

"It was a mistake..."

"Mistake was giving you his new number after your breakup years ago or telling you about that girl he was seeing then or about that guy he tried to date in which he failed miserably..."

"..."

"You were doing it fine. But every time you felt lonely you had to call him... when you had problems with your boyfriend you had to call him. Do you have idea of how cruel that was? Calling to complain about your new partner to your ex?"

"I didn't-"

"What? You didn't know?" He chuckled. "I was remembering how your story begun and not exactly about your miraculous second encounter but about that first time when you confessed and he rejected you. You came to me all brokenhearted and we went to drink till you passed out. He came to pick you up -I never told you that- he was so worried and sad then. I realized that you had the power to break him. I wonder if everything that happened after wasn't just a way to get revenge for that first heartbreak."

"You think that I'm seeking for revenge?!"

"Then he confessed and asked you for a chance. You seemed so happy... The both of you. We know that he can be the most lovely ball of cuteness or all the contrary. You have successfully awakened both sides and everything in the middle." He continues ignoring Jaejoong's question. "I've always known that with Yunho things have that tinge of definitive. That's why I was so happy for you when he acknowledged his feelings for you. He gave you everything he could and I thought you did the same, he fought his family for you till they accepted you..."

"My family-"

"Please, don't compare. Your parents and your sisters are different. Not that Yunho's parents are monsters nor anything like that but you know it was really difficult for him and them."

"I know."

"You know something curious? No, you surely don't know. Back then, his mother told him 'my son, I'm afraid that boy is going to break your heart'. Guess she was right."

"Why are you telling me this?" Jaejoong lowers his head.

"Because I'm mad at you. You called me to complain and cry over the phone I could say that you're suffering but still, you had the chance to make it work not once but several times, but you didn't take it... I don't get you. At this point I'm even doubting how much interested you were in."

"You can't doubt it. No one can!"

"It doesn't matter what I might think, the only person you shouldn't let doubting you on this is no longer by your side." He runs his fingers trough his hair seeing the despair on Jaejoong's face. "Guess one or more of your friends have an important part in this."

"My friends?"

He takes out his phone and shows pictures to Jaejoong. "These are just a few..."

Jaejoong looks at the images remembering a conversation with Yunho.

....................

Yunho was checking his phone while Jaejoong was accommodating a plate with crackers and jelly over the table.

"Jaejoong... does any of your friends have my number or my mail?"

"No... why? That would be weird."

"Remember the messages I talked to you some time -years- ago? Well..."

"You think my friends were involved in that? Seriously?" Jaejoong asked totally annoyed, he wasn't going to allow any accusation against his friends.

"I- no... nevermind..." Yunho sighed and focused on the television.

...................

"There's no much new to see. Most of the pictures were posted by you or other people around you except for some more compromising. Oh, and of course the ones in the bathtub or in your bedroom."

"Who..."

"I don't know. If you don't have any idea let alone me. At first I thought it was you the one sending him those things but when I had to give you his number after the first time you broke up I knew you weren't the sender." He takes the phone and scrolls to find two specific photos. "This person or these people are scary. Getting his contact info every time just to send him this and for so many years. Everything began one year before your long breakup."

"..."

"This two pictures, he never saw them. For some reason I was with his phone at that moment so I resent them to myself and I deleted the files from his phone. They are too blurry, I didn't think that it's you but if yes... you, Jaejoong! You cheated on him totally conscious and I was your accomplice... at that time you weren't on a 'break' either."

"I-"

"No, wait. I don't want to know. I don't want to know if you were fooling or sleeping around when you were not together or if you just took all those pictures just to hurt him because I don't know which one is worse. If you 'enjoying' your freedom or you being a bastard."

"He was better!"

"Jaejoong, what..."

"He was better without me… he smiled more, he took much more care of his appearance, he laughed more, he hung out more with his friends, he was more everything without me and I- I was sad and lonely and it angered me to think that he didn’t need me and I did things I shouldn’t...”

“You are telling me that you couldn’t stand seeing him happier without you so you decided hurting him?” his friend stands up trying to focus his attention in something else just to not start yelling. “Are you for real? That was your way of dealing with everything. Bravo, Jaejoong, you left your insecurities to ruin one of the best things that it could happen to anyone. You decided that your pride was more important that your love and here we are, you with a broken heart and me as a part of your mess.”

“It wasn’t my pride…”

“Then what it was, Jaejoong. What made you think that, despite all of the you two went through, Yunho wasn’t worth the try to fix your relationship nor he deserved you at least answering his calls or give him the chance to approach you? Tell me, Jaejoong because, honestly, I can’t understand you.”

“I can’t understand myself…”

The first time it happened was after an argument they had. Yunho had left his place slamming the door and they were in another break after that. Exactly five days after he was at a night club with some friends and received a call from Yunho that he couldn’t answer so he called many times but the other never picked up. He was upset but his mood lifted up seeing one of his ex entering the place. The next thing he knew was that they were kissing in that guy’s car and they just had arrived to a seedy hotel. When he was about to go in with that man the cool breeze helped him to clear his mind. He left the place without a word. If wasn't until he was outside Yunho's place wishing him not noticing his raw lips when he saw many missing calls at his phone. He fell asleep at the couch as he had a key and woke up the next day on the bed next to a deeply slept Yunho embracing him from behind. With guilt eating him up, he turned around and caressed his lover face with the inner promise of not repeating the mistake from last night.

He couldn't keep his promise and there were other people, other friends, new faces he doesn't even remember now. Even when he tried to tell himself that he was alone, feeling lonely and not loved. His own conscience didn't let him alone. He knew it was wrong, especially when just knowing about someone else throwing themself to Yunho during one of their breaks drove him crazy to the point of going to reclaim to the other at that instant. Everything led them to a huge fight and a heated make up session. Little he did care that he was with another guy at the precise moment the rumour got him.

He wanted his lover to feel guilt too, to look for him, to chase him and try to gain his forgiveness every time. It didn't matter who was at fault. As perfect and strong as people used to see him, Jaejoong knew that he could be terribly insecure and selfish and stubborn and even cruel. His prideful side too hard to put aside. Yunho was the one to forget his pride just to pursue him. Jaejoong was scared of the rejection so he didn't even try. Confessing his feelings the first time, required all his courage and being turned down marked him deeply. That's why when he called after their breakup years ago, they weren't real calls just waiting for a couple of rings before hanging up, that till Yunho changed his number. When his friend gave him the new number he wasn't actually expecting anything more than hearing his voice, so it wasn't that difficult. He wasn't fearing to be rejected because he wasn't expecting anything.

But his friend was right, Yunho was and still is worth fighting for, the same as Jaejoong knew it very well, Yunho had always considered him worthy. After all, a relationship is a matter of two.

And now Yunho is in a relationship with someone else.

-----------

Give me back the love that one day was everything for me
Give me back the fantasies, the kisses that I gave you…
Give me back every moment that I had with you
Since the same day I lost you…

-----------

"Why you didn't tell me about her? You knew it from the beginning, right? That's why you didn't want me to call him that day. You knew that she was getting in the picture and you didn't tell me..."

"I did, well I actually tried to tell you but you didn't pay me attention and told me to not bothering you with useless things." His friend looks at him. "Besides, they weren't an official couple by then yet."

"But he told me that she was already his girlfriend." Jaejoong says with unwilling hope in his eyes.

"Please, don't get excited. I'm sure that by now they are together already." The friend feels regretful seeing the saddened expression of Jaejoong. "When I met her, I knew it was her because I saw her outside Yunho's place once, waiting and leaving in Hojun's car around five in the morning -Don't ask what I was doing near there-. So, I'm sorry but even if they weren't together by then officially, they already... well, you understand..."

"Do you think she's the one? Will she be the mother of his children? The one awakening by his side when he is old?..." his voice breaks but he refuses to let his tears come out again.

"I don't know, JaeJae." His friend pats his shoulder and squishes it gently. "It's possible that she's the one, but there was a time when I thought you'll never be together again and you two proved me wrong and came back together stronger than before. I don't know what could happen but just for the fact of being Yunho... I have to tell you not to rise your hopes... even when he could appear at any moment and hold you and kiss you and have his way with you," he says smiling just to drop his joyful expression almost instantly, "I think he's really serious with her and very important... she feels the same for him. She won't let go, she's gonna fight if necessary."

Like I didn't, Jaejoong completes in his mind the words his friend didn't dare to tell him.

When his friend is leaving later that day, Jaejoong stops him to tell him: "the one in those pictures, it's not me...I never... that far..."

"I'm really relieved to hear that." His friend smiles weakly. "You know that he told me you were better without him too?" and then leaves.

Once again, Jaejoong drowns in his memories and thoughts of 'what if...'. But that doesn't change anything.

-----------

How memory hurts me when I pronounce your name
How the sunset hurts me when I don't have your nights
My desolation is so bitter There is no desire in the heart
Only silence remains that is tearing me inside

-----------

It's night again and he's alone. He has thought all day about the conversation with his friend. He's still thinking about it when decides to make that call and he's not waiting for him to pick up really but he does and when it happens he’s speechless.

The second time Yunho says 'hello' he snaps and realize this is his chance to tell him all the things he has been wanting to tell him or at least trying to tell him.

"Yunho... I-"

"Jaejoong?... I'm going to hang up. I have a date and-"

"Please don't... maybe she's going to have all your time from now on... I only want some minutes... please..." he says not being able to suppress the bitterness of his voice.

Yunho doesn't say anything but Jaejoong can hear him sighing. The most important, he doesn't hang up and prepares to listening to whatever Jaejoong is going to say.

"I've been thinking about us a lot this weeks. You know? Things that I would like to do or say different..." he tries to recall all the words he had prepared in case he had the chance to talk with Yunho again but everything is blurred in his mind. "Remember the first time we kissed? The first time we made love?"

"Jaejoong-"

"I want..." Jaejoong nervously continues saying, "I want to tell you so many things... I need you to know..."

"Jaejoong, I-"

"No, let me... please, let me finish." Jaejoong thinks that maybe this will be the last time they talk, at least in a while and it hurts him but he chooses to continue. "Every time when we were apart. I always felt it like something temporary. We always had that ‘unfinished conversation’ between us and..."

He makes a pause not sure how he wants this to continue. He can hear Yunho's soft breathing through the phone.

"Jaejoong, all of that is in the past now. If we are like this now, it's because we let it happen. We both had the chance and now is late and-"

"I'm sorry. Forgive me please... I'm really sorry, Yunhoyah... for hurting you... for not fighting enough for us-" Jaejoong chokes with his sobs stumbling with his words. "The most important thing I wanted to tell you is that I love you!... I always did and I always will... even if I found someone else too... There will be always a place for you in my heart..."

He hears the other exhaling deeply through the phone.

"I know you can't give me back the love that once was only mine but I- I wish you happiness," he doesn't care for his tears anymore, not when he can feel the sadness at the other end of the line. "Even if not with me... even if it'll be with someone else, even when a part of me will be waiting and hoping forever... I love you and I want you to be happy..."

"Jaejoong," it comes after a long silence. "I- I have to go..."

"I know..."

"Good bye, Jaejoong."

The line goes dead but he keeps holding his phone till long after. Maybe that was their needed closure even when he doesn't feel it like one. He's still sad but feels like his spirit burdens are lighter. After all, breakups are never easy let alone when it's something so significant in your life. There's nothing but ashes now and he has to accept it no matter how hard and painful it'll be.

He falls sleep easier this time, it's a night without dreams he can remember the next day. No good or bad dreams, just a blank night. The void in his life is still there, but it’s a beginning.

-----------

Give me back each caress, the way I loved you
Give me back the joys, my dreams and my faith…
Only the ashes are left from the fire of your love
And the immense pain of your Goodbye…

-----------

....................

Devuelveme el Amor - Luis Miguel

I really like this Live Version of the song, Luis Miguel sings with so much emotion showing the sadness and pain of the song: Devuelveme el Amor Live

Thank you for all the comments for CH2: jcnafaiz, kamali, TARDISKEEPER917, yunjaemrcnn, jjbrownsugga, Everoselen314, Maribeth787 and the subscriptions.

As always, thank you for reading it ^-^