"Hyung?", Dongchun's voice is low, almost trembling, "HyeonU hyung? Is it really you?"

Heechul slowly nods. His pain now seems all too much to bear. 

A million questions that he had waited his whole life to ask his brother start to occupy Dongchun's mind. 

"Where have you been?"

"What happened to you?"

"What did you do?"

"What are you doing here?"

But, the moment that he had waited for almost twenty years to happen seems shortlived. Unwholesome. And in a short moment, all he could utter out of his mouth is what he had feared the most in the life-long journey searching for his last family.

"Did you leave us?"

Heechul feels as if he has been paralyzed by this question. He instantly wants to open his mouth to deny, but as the words are at the tip of his tongue, he finds it much harder to speak.

Did he not, in fact, leave them in that wretched of a village to go seek work?

Did he not, in a way, live his luxurious life at the Kim residence while his family starved and suffered?

Perhaps, he did, indeed, abandon them.

So he resorted to the answer that he knew deep in his heart had always been true: "I never wanted to."

Next to them, Sungmin and Kyuhyun are bewildered at what is unraveling in front of them. And Heechul knows that it is time to relive his past all over again. All his pain. His tears. His wounds. His crimes. And redemption. Every piece of memory starts to surround him as if it was just yesterday.

He was born on a rainy night at his own home, with the help of no midwife. And so, his father gave him the name "HyeonU", meaning "rainy day". When he was a little bit older, he would ask his father why he had given him such a name. "The rain has the power of relieving even the worst disaster, drought," he would explain, "That is my best wish for you, my son. To be able to erase even the worst pain and memory, and live your life to the fullest."

But when he was ten years old, he had to leave his parents, brother, and sister in their village to find work. They had lived in a small village on the outskirts of Haeju, where all the men did was gamble and all the women did was shout at their husbands. He had no prospects in the village, so he had to leave to find a way to support four people in their household. Like every other man in the village, his father gambled and gambled day after day, spending away every cent his mother could make selling rice cakes in the market.

When he was much younger, his initial memories in life did not use to be like that. He remembered his father teaching him to read and speak proper Hangul. He remembered seeing his father, every single night, next to the candle, reading and studying for the state examinations. He remembered his father and mother getting along in their home, their laughter always lighting up the house. 

But things changed drastically when his father was denied entrance to the state exam due to their status. Their family used to be part of a noble family but was stripped of all noble titles when a distant relative committed a serious crime. Joseon had such a severe penal system that a person's crime could have consequences for up to nine generations within the family. His father, despite being born into poverty, had hopes and dreams of one day passing the exams and becoming a state official to change his life around. He had done nothing else in his life except for studying hard day after day, night after night. He had never even shouted at another person, let alone committed a crime.

But life had a way of shooting down even the highest of hopes and dreams.

After his father came back from Hanyang, he seemed to have turned into a different person. Gone was all the laughter that once lit up the house. Gone were all the late-night study sessions that he used to admire so much about his father. Gone were all the fun and helpful teachings that his father used to give him. His father slowly turned into every other man in the village, gambling, and drinking all day as if doing so could numb away all their pains and frustrations.

So, at the age of ten, he had to leave their village to find a way to support their whole family. He encountered a servant at the Kim family in Haeju shortly after he arrived in the city, wandering the streets. The servant told him that there was work for him at the Kim residence. Little did he know that following her would be the biggest mistake he would ever make.

The Kim residence was the most glamorous place he had ever seen in his life. There were more than twenty rooms, and the family had more than fifty servants. The residence was divided into four wings, and each wing had a big front yard with carefully trimmed hedges and plants. The servant brought him before Lady Kim. She looked at him carefully and finally decided to let him serve her son, but not before she spoke the meaningful words that he would only understand after the tragedy at the Kim residence had already happened: "But you have to promise to always be by your young master's side. I mean... always..."

HyeonU slowly nodded at her as a reassurance. He would have walked through fire if it meant that he could get a job to support his family.

But for one second, he thought he had also seen a hint of pity in the other servant's eyes before she led him to the west wing of the residence, where the young master Kim was living. The young master was the same age as him, but he was frail from the second he was born and needed someone to stay and take care of him throughout the day. The boy was so sick that he could barely leave his bed on most days. Plus, what the young master needed more than a mere caretaker was perhaps someone to be his friend, to accompany him in the quiet and lonely side of the residence, as he would never be able to go to school, attend parties, and most crucially, to make friends. So Lady Kim decided to hire a boy of the same age to take care of him and to be his friend.

The young master's name was Kim Heechul.

Kim Heechul's room was the warmest and nicest room he had ever been in, filled with the most luxurious silk and furniture. HyeonU imagined just one of the young master's shirts alone would be able to feed his family for a year. But he never dwelled too long on these facts. He quickly got accustomed to his work taking care of the young master. It ended up not being as hard and demanding as he thought it would be. He did not have to do any cooking or washing for the young master, only feeding him, bathing him, and cleaning his room. As the young master was always sick and needed constant rest throughout the day, most of what he did was sleeping in his room. Thus, HyeonU found that he had a lot of free time during the day, most of which he spent reading books in the room.

The pay for his work at the Kim residence was also generous enough for him to send money home to support his parents, brother, and sister. Every week, he sent home a letter enclosed with cash enough for his family to live by for a month, and his mother would reply with updates on his brother and sister. HyeonU assumed no updates on his father meant that he was still living his same old vices after all that time, and never asked about him again in his letters. But he learned in the letters that his brother was getting taller every day, and a day would come soon enough when they would be of the same height, or he even would have to look up if he wanted to look his brother in the eyes. The last time he saw his brother, he was only as tall as HyeonU's waist. And as HyeonU headed out of the gate of their house, his brother was playing with a wooden sword just like they used to play together. 

"Hyung! Look! I did the moves that you showed me! One day, you won't have to take care of me anymore!" Those were the last words that his brother said to him before today. If he had known that was the last time he could see his brother, he would have held him a little longer, played with him until they were both worn out from sword fights, and told him: "Nonsense, it is hyung's job to take care of you."

But all he did was give his brother a quick smile before turning away from him forever and heading for the city.

He worked at the Kim residence for more than a year before the young master took a turn for the worse. On top of his existing frailties, Kim Heechul seemed to have caught the plague that was spreading around the city. A physician was called on to stay at the Kim residence all day since the young master got sicker, and on the second day, the physician concluded Kim Heechul had contracted consumption as well. 

Ever since the young master got sicker, Lady Kim cried and cried every day and night. And when she was not crying, she was at the temple praying all day for the young master to get better. At the house, Master Kim was ordering the servants around to prepare all the special foods and medicines for the young master, as prescribed by the physician. No one was allowed in the west wing of the residence when the young master was quarantined except for the physician, so HyeonU had to deliver all the food and medicines from the gate of the west wing to the young master. The young master looked especially pale and tired these past few days, to the extent that sometimes HyeonU was afraid he was not even breathing. 

On the sixth day, the young master suddenly developed a fever, and there were red spots covering his whole body from top to bottom. At this point, even the Master and Lady Kim were not allowed in the west wing for their own safety, so every update on the young master came from HyeonU himself. HyeonU checked the young master's temperature regularly, fed him, gave him medicine, changed his sweat-soaked clothes, and washed all of the contaminated clothes and linens. It felt as if even the faintest wind could take the life of the young master.

And, at last, despite all the work and medicines and tears and prayers that were spent on the fragile young master, they could no longer sustain his livelihood.

Kim Heechul died only one week after the plague spread around in Haeju.  

The night after Kim Heechul died, the servant that had brought HyeonU to the Kim residence appeared at the gate to the west wing with a tray of food and drink for him. Being famished after a week of taking care of the young master with no real food or drink, he devoured the food without any hesitation. Within minutes, before he could realize what was wrong with the food, everything in front of his eyes started to blur. The wall seemed to have switched places with the ceiling, and everything seemed to spin out of control. In front of him, the servant started whispering lowly: " I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But the shaman said that the young master would not be able to be reborn into another life if he died all alone. He needed a friend to go with him to Heaven."

The servant's words had started to distort towards the end for HyeonU. He was now lying on the cold floor, in front of his eyes only a darkness as deep as the bottom of a well. In another second, his mind seemed to have shifted off to another realm, and he felt as if he was floating above his own body. The last thing he heard was a few footsteps rushing into his side, and everything went dead silent like he had flown off to a different world.

When he woke up again, HyeonU realized that his whole body was immersed in something both rough and wet. It felt like he had been unconscious for either only a few minutes or a few days. There was a throbbing pain in his head, but most importantly, as hard as he tried to, he was not able to breathe. The substance that had surrounded him turned out to be soil and dirt, more specifically, cemetery soil! The Kims had buried him alive with the young master as part of some superstitious ritual!

HyeonU tried to wiggle his fingers and toes, luckily, the soil was somewhat wet and, therefore, much softer to dig out. He kept digging and digging as hard as he could, even though his fingers had started to feel numb and bloody. After a long while, he finally could feel a breeze through his fingers. He immediately reached his hand to his face, digging his face out of the dirt. The rest of his body got out of the grave much more easily once his hand was free. 

On the ground, it had started to rain all day and night. The cold winter rain fell heavily onto the soil, drop by drop, making the soil softer for HyeonU to get out. For a long while, he could only sit on the shallow grave, shivering from fear and from the cold. Of the winter. And perhaps, of the depth of evil that existed in this world.

As a reflex, he started walking towards his own village. Towards home. It took him a few hours on his tired and trembling feet. But the village looked nothing like when he left. There seemed to be no sign of warmth or life in the once-crowded and lively village. As he peaked into one of the houses, there were what seemed to be dead bodies thrown into a fire in their yard. Fire was everywhere in the village, but it did not make the place seem any warmer. At last, when he reached his house, he ran as quickly as he could through the gate into the front yard. As if an order was given for the whole village to keep a fire in every yard, his yard also had a big fire. His feet hesitated at a distance to the fire. Inside, four dead bodies were burnt beyond recognition. 

He knew immediately that the plague had spread to the village. And as hard as he tried to deny his reality, the four dead bodies in the fire belonged to his whole family. His legs started to tremble so heavily he could no longer stand, and he could not stop shivering. Part of him wanted to jump into the fire that had swallowed his whole family, and the other part wanted to scream at the top of his lungs at all the pain and injustice he had to endure all this time. But he found that he could do neither, and instead, could only sit there with his tears flowing down his cheeks. Quietly. And helplessly.

As the rain started to blend with the tears on his face, HyeonU could not help but ask himself a million unanswerable questions. What had he done in all his life to deserve this? Just because he was born into a poor and low-status family, did he not deserve to live? Or treated like a decent human being? But, most importantly, if this was the world that he was living in, what could he do then to survive in this dark and cruel world?

His mind suddenly shifted back to his childhood and his father, who also had never done anything wrong in his life, but was denied even the slightest chance to do something meaningful with his life. To turn his life around. And, in the end, his father just turned into the kind of man that he had despised his whole life. A desperate and helpless kind of man.

So, under the heavy rain of a cold winter night, something was made up and determined in HyeonU's mind. Just like his father, he had been powerless his whole life. But at this moment, something was clearer than the sky on a sunny summer day. He had to be much stronger, much more powerful. He had to make a name for himself.

In the pitch black of the night, HyeonU slowly picked himself up and headed for the Kim residence again. After he snuck into the Kim residence, he walked into the kitchen, got himself a knife, and hid it in his sock. Master Kim and Lady Kim's chamber was in a different wing, so he made his way to the chamber in the darkness that had slowly become his friend. In their room, a candle was weakly lighting up the room, and there were sounds of someone crying. As he slowly opened the chamber door, Lady Kim seemed like she had just woken up from a recurring nightmare. 

"Heechul ah!" She exclaimed upon seeing the shadow in the dimly lit part of the room. "You have come back to me!"

But HyeonU did not reply to her. He stood there in the dark for another moment, his body covered in mud and cemetery soil not unlike a dead body that had come back from the grave. In another second, Master Kim was woken up by her louder crying and exclamation.

"Heechul?" He looked at the shadow in the room carefully. "No," he said, surprisedly and disappointingly, "it is that boy..."

Then, it suddenly dawned upon HyeonU just how insignificant he had been to these people. "Say my name," he commanded, "what's my name?"

Master Kim only furrowed his brow for a second, then, as if not wanting to deal with a chore as little as talking with a servant, he raised his voice to call out a servant. Just as he was about to speak, HyeonU pulled out his knife from his sock in a quick movement and slit his throat with it. Seeing the scene unravel before her eyes, Lady Kim was about to head for the door to make a run for it. Before she knew it, the knife was already deep in her back, immobilizing her. Hearing all the commotions, a servant was approaching the chamber to check on the Master and the Lady. HyeonU could even tell it was the female servant who drugged him just by the sound of her footsteps. So he waited by the door for her and had the knife to only in an instant. 

"Tell everyone the young master is still alive," he whispered in her ears, "and dismiss all the servants."

The female servant had no other choice but to follow his lead. On the next morning, an announcement was made to everyone in the Kim residence. It had turned out that Master Kim and Lady Kim had caught the plague and died overnight. The young master, however, made a miraculous recovery and would pull through after years of sickness and frailties. As the young master had been in his wing all his life, no one knew exactly what he looked like except for his parents and the female servant. HyeonU was the same age and the same height as the young master. Before the questions about the young master could be raised, all the servants were dismissed with generous compensations. The next day, the female servant was also said to have caught the plague.

The young master was said to have left for Hanyang only a few days after that. He never came back to Haeju, and the locals still wondered what he wanted to do with the Kim residence. For the next ten years, he studied hard in the capital of Joseon, determined to become much stronger and much more powerful. Yet, on another rainy day, his life was about to be changed forever again. As he was walking out of the inn where he had been staying, a warm breeze suddenly surrounded him. The rain was as heavy as that night in the cemetery, but with much warmth and sunshine in the clear blue sky. As he realized he had forgotten his umbrella in his room, a hand suddenly brought a bright red umbrella over his head. As he turned to look at the person, he also gave him a kind and caring look.

"This umbrella looks so much better on you!" That person exclaimed. Just when he realized that might have been a weird thing to say, his face almost turned red. He started to ramble on.

"Hm... What I meant is... don't go out without an umbrella. It's gonna be a heavy rain. My name is Hankyung. What's yours?"

Without hesitation, he turned to the other, returned his smile, and said with the strongest confidence he had ever shown another in his life.

"My name is Kim Heechul."