The Last Thing I Ever Do

The Palace

The next morning, in Gyeotaejeon, the Queen's residence, a gruelling scene is discovered by the court ladies who come to the Queen's room to wake her up. Unlike usual, today, both court ladies have a bad feeling as soon as they open the door to the luxurious chamber. They had been calling the Queen from outside the door for more than half an hour without any response. Feeling anxious, the two court ladies slowly open the door to the bedroom. The coldness and darkness of the room greet them like the call of Death. Inside the room, a sweet scent fills the air. As soon as the light from outside touches the room, a shocking scene appears before their eyes.

The Queen lies still on her bed, from , a few drops of blood stream down one of her cheeks, but she looks like she is only in a deep sleep. Next to the Queen's bed, the Head Court Lady lies peacefully with her hands neatly placed on her stomach, her eyes shut close. On a table nearby, a pot of tea sits proudly, from which the sweet scent can be traced back.

"Wangbi mama!" The two court ladies hurry towards the Queen in a panic. This is not like any scene they had ever seen in their lives, especially not in the Queen's residence. But as they approach the Queen's bed, the light reaches another corner of the room, the court ladies can see the shadow of another man. 

"Ahhhhh," one of the women scream in a panic, "there's another person in here!"

"Lee Soui mama?" The other court lady could see more clearly as daylight starts to fill the room, "you... you..."

In the first sunlight that shines throughout the room, Sungmin sits upright next to the two bodies. As the two court ladies enter the room, he shows no intention of wanting to get out of the scene. Nor does he express any surprise at the two bodies next to him. The two court ladies immediately understand what had happened from the look of the scene. They shout out to alert the guards, and in only a few seconds, a group of guards show up at the steps to the Queen's chamber. The cold and dark room is suddenly filled with sunlight and chaotic chatter and shouting. But Sungmin does not pay attention to all the commotions going on around him. Even when the guards step in front of him and ask all sorts of questions. Even when the royal doctor is rushed into the room by the court ladies to check on the Queen and the Head Court Lady. Even when he announces the demise of the most powerful woman in Joseon right next to him.

Even when all the chaos and commotions suddenly turn into dead silence, and he realizes he has once again returned to Geoncheonggung and is sitting inside his own room, in front of his eyes, the Queen's cold and lifeless corpse appears as if she was really here with him. He closes his eyes, but amidst a dark nothingness that is under his eyes, he still could not avoid her angry eyes and loathing stares.

"Sungmin"

A gentle voice suddenly pulls him back to reality. There is another person in the room with him.

Sungmin opens his eyes to look at the person sitting in front of him. The King solemnly returns his look.

"Tell me... what happened?" He asks cautiously.

"I did it," Sungmin says without a tinge of hesitation.

"You...did what?"

"I put poison in the Queen's pot of tea, killing her in an instant. Then I forcefully served it to the Head Court Lady, killing her as well. I did it all on my own, with no one else as my accomplice." 

With a straight face, Sungmin recounts the events that happened the previous night. The King observes him without even a blink.

"Tell me... Someone else compelled you to do this, right?"

"I did this out of my own free will. No one made me." Sungmin's voice remains an even tone as if his heart was not pounding in his chest and his head was not spinning like a pinwheel.

"Why...?" For a moment, Sungmin thinks he can hear the King's voice slightly break.

"Because I don't want her to be the Queen anymore. She does not deserve to be in that position!"

The King stares at him fiercely. Before his eyes, the person with such hatred and cynicism cannot be the same person as the kind and passionate young man that he fell in love with not long ago.

"You're lying!" He feels himself unable to control a burning rage in his chest, and for some reason, the words blurt out of his mouth like the tidal waves in the ocean.

"I'm not lying, jeonha. And if you think I am lying, that just means you don't know me as well as you thought, and that enrages you, even scares you, to have spent so much time with one person, and never truly understood them."

"Eunuch Kim!" The King feels himself getting impatient, "put out an announcement to ban everyone from discussing the events that happened last night. No one is to talk about or even mention the Queen's death, except for the investigators. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes, jeonha."The eunuch quickly responds as he can feel the King's impatience rising up like sea level at dusk.

"And second thing, Lee Soui is grounded. Double the number of guards patrolling Geoncheonggung, and do not let anyone inside leave. Neither can anyone enter until the investigation is complete."

After giving strict orders to the eunuch, the King stands up to leave. Behind him, Sungmin looks more somber than ever.

"Jeonha!" Sungmin suddenly shouts out just as he is walking out of the room.

"Remember that poem you once cited for me?"

He looks at the King solemnly just as he starts to recite a poem that seems like it can speak the truth from his heart at the moment.

"In the courtyard a sad eastern wind blows,
A tree over the fence is white with peach blossoms.
Leaning against the jade rail she yearns for home.
She cannot return.

Luxuriant foliage of fragrant plants merge into the sky.
Silk draperies and beautiful windows are shut and deserted.
Two streams of tears on the powdered face soak the scarlet blossom.

Beyond the misty trees north and south of the river.
Love does not end.
The mountains are long, the water is wide;
news does not come."

"Sometimes all one person wants is to be able to remember their home, to return to where they come from. But when they can do neither of those things, all they can do is protect it at all costs. Even if it means that it will be the last thing they ever do. It goes the same for me as it goes the same for you. You know what you'll have to do to protect your home and kingdom. Even if it means that this will be the last time you ever see me."

The next few days in the Palace, even though with the King's orders not to spread the news of the Queen's passing, the ministers and officials at the Royal Court are still informed of the investigation. For the next meetings with the ministers and officials, all anyone could talk about was the brutal crime committed against the Queen by one no one other than one of the King's concubines, and the punishments they deem fit for such crime. Sitting on his throne in Geunjeongjeon, the King feels his head about to explode at the arguments among his own ministers and officials.

"Jeonha!" A middle-aged minister with a receding hairline proclaims. "Such a crime is not tolerable! We have to make an example out of this!"

"Jeonha!" Another minister, about five or six years older than the previous minister, also speaks up in the same volume. "Although we come from different branches of the Park family, the Queen and I can be considered to have the same roots. The blood that runs in the Crown Prince's veins is also the Parks' blood. Just because State Councillor Park was convicted and sentenced does not mean that Her Royal Highness deserves such barbaric treatment, and by the hands of a member of her own Royal Family! Please, jeonha, please consider giving a serious punishment for Lee Soui, so Her Royal Highness can get the justice that she deserves."

After the minister's long and righteous speech, he makes a point of kneeling bowing his head on the wooden floor of Geunjeongjeon. Behind him, a few officials start to follow his kneeling and bowing. 

"Jeonha! Please consider the punishment for such a crime!"

"Jeonha!"

"Jeonha!"

Within seconds, Geunjeongjeon seems less a formal meeting between the King and his officials, but more like a kneeling demonstration. Seeing enough of the scene, the King suddenly stands up from his throne and leaves through his own exit door, leaving behind a mess of an assembly as well as a whole crowd of confused officials.

As soon as he gets out of the meeting, the King realizes that for the first time in his life, he is now strolling through the Palace without a destination in mind. Before, he has always had things to do and places to go to, either to a meeting with the officials, to the Royal Library, to visit the Queen, the Crown Prince or the concubines. But today, he can no longer do any of those things. Neither is he in the mood to do anything at this moment.

He has been walking for more than an hour when he recognizes the familiar residence before his eyes. His feet have led him here without even him knowing. He stops for a while to take in all the beauty of the place. The simple but tasteful structure of the building. The elegant and cozy decorations in the yard. Geoncheonggung stands as tall as ever, as if his mood can never touch its graces. But today, a large group of guards stand solemnly at the gate. A lock as big as a human arm can be seen on the front gate. He does not know if it is more accurate that the lock is keeping someone inside, or preventing someone outside from hurting the people inside. Inside the residence, no sound can be heard, as if there is no sign that a human is living in the building. 

"Jeonha," Eunuch Kim softly speaks up from behind him, "do you want to go inside?"

"No," the King takes a lingering look at the place, then turns around as quickly as he can, "let's go back to Gangnyeongjeon."

For some reason, that night, Gangnyeongjeon feels colder than he has ever felt since he has lived there. Outside the windows, a snowstorm is wreaking havoc on the Palace. Each cold wind blows through the window, cold and angry. His mind suddenly shifts back to that day on the hunting grounds, it was just as cold and snowy, but somehow, he had found warmth and coziness from the company he had. Then he remembers that night, outside of Gangnyeongjeon, Sungmin was kneeling in the same coldness and darkness, while he was unwilling to face the truth and the consequences of having corrupt officials in the Royal Court. And when Sungmin came to him when Kim Ryeowook was poisoned, he also turned the other way...

Amidst the coldness and darkness of a winter night, the guilt and the helplessness are surrounding him like the enemies coming to a siege. He could not help but wonder if this mess could be avoided if he had done all of those things differently.

If only he had the courage to punish the corrupt officials in the first place.

If only he had listened to Lee Sungmin.

If only he had paid more attention to the Queen and his concubines.

Perhaps the Queen would not have to die.

Perhaps Lee Sungmin would not have to take such radical and barbaric measures to deal with the Queen.

Perhaps today, he would not have to mourn the death of his own wife, and consider the punishment of another.

A panic suddenly runs straight through his veins and attacks his heart mercilessly. He feels the urge to come to the window and open it so that the cold and angry winds outside will storm inside and drown him in their fits of rage. 

He had better get used to this coldness and darkness.

For perhaps until the end of his days, he will no longer be accompanied by the warmth and coziness that he has only just gotten to know for the past few years.

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Comments

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hyukminheekyu
#1
Chapter 66: Welcome back! I've been checking about your updates almost everyday. Thank you for not abandoning this story & hopefully you write more KyuMin stories. You are a good writer :)
hyukminheekyu
#2
Chapter 53: Finally you are back?! Welcome back!

Where have you been? Please continue to update, it is a nice story. Please don't leave us hanging again :)
Sugayeon
#3
Great!
magicelf #4
Can I translate this story into my own language? no problem? I really liked this story♥︎♡♡♡♥︎
magicelf #5
Thank u for writing it♥︎
khimqtqt14 #6
🖤💖💗
lindatan #7
Chapter 32: Tats was so great for Min & Kyu . So calmly & happy being together
lindatan #8
Chapter 15: Thanks authornim for updating this story
lindatan #9
Chapter 11: No matter who & where he is at , he’s always your Sungmin
lindatan #10
Chapter 10: Hope both of them can stil be friends after Min marriage . He need a friend to talk to , a friend whom can stay by him . Thanks authornim for updating !