In the Capital of South Korea’s society where Lee Taemin should live without graduating from high school and lack of working skill for almost four years is the real definition of struggling. Moreover, raising a three years old baby boy named Lee Yoogeun from his very womb.

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A little boy pouting his lips in his first day at kindergarten. At first, he was super exited to wear a new baby blue sailor uniform, a new pair of shoes, and a book with colourful hangul for his writing practice. He even couldn’t get proper sleep time because he just couldn’t wait to start a new activity. But the face on the front gate fall suddenly, knowing the man whose holding his little hand would not be with him for the entire day of his first school day.

“Yoogeun ah, what’s wrong with that face? Didn’t you waiting for this day to come?” a chesnut color-long hair guy kneeling in front of the little boy, adjusting the yellow hat the boy wearing.

“Not without you, Mom.” Answer the boy, looking even more upset as he become so teary. The man then placing his both palm on the red cheeks, makes the boy finally looking him in the eyes.

“Iam so sorry dear, I promise ill make it here again before 5pm, and also your favourite strawberry dino donuts!” the pout slowly disappear as his favourite snack being mentioned, “and blueberry and chocolate too!” said the boy, a bit shouting and makes the man pinch his cute little nose lightly. “Don’t forget to share with Granny, ok?” Yoogeun nodding his head cutely and hugging his mother tighly.

“Lets get inside to prepare your toiletries.”

After 30 minutes helping his son preparing his study stuff and all introducing parts, Lee Taemin excuse himself hurriedly to the teachers and the Mother’s, who can’t let him go without a bunch of curiousty like ‘why don’t take one free day since its your son first day at kindergarten?’ or some on point question like ‘are you a single parent?’ while Taemin just smiling sweetly and somehow eavesdropping ‘must be hard to be a single mother.’

It is hard, and tough.

Its already been tough and he even more anxious everyday. He just didn’t realize Yoogeun already  three years old and manage to attending kindergarten. He is getting understood why some peoples wished for their children to not growing up, because they will have their own though and start to questioning everything. He can’t be lying anymore once Yoogeun get its into his head that the one he is been calling ‘Mother’ all this time is a man who has same s like him. Taemin can lie for a while about adam apples, well, some woman also have one and flat chest, he can reason out that he ever had surgery that made his s being taken away. Taemin doesn’t like to lie, no one ever said he is a good liar either but what choice he got here? Because oddly to say, Yoogeun was come out from his very womb and its been natural think he called him Mother, because he is a mother, and a ing . The history about how Yoogeun magically could live on Taemin’s is still bizzare, although the doctor said its possible for man to get pregnant if they have enough amount of  cell for fertilization, moreover in this modern day where technology makes all mystic thinks happen. But again, how could he done fertilization when he didn’t do any ual activity yet, and he was boy for Mary sake.

The neigborhood he used to live was still conservative about the thinks out of their norm and understanding, even Taemin was one of them when he ignored about him having a crush for male senior in music club because its simply a sin for them, he supposed to like girls, not boys. When the news about him being pregnant spread all over the village like a shooting star, he vividly remembered how everybody was pointing on him and forcefully dragged him to the church, kneeling in front of Jesus figure for give him mercy, then he looked at Mary. He remembered read a book about how Mary got pregnant by no one but blessing from almighty God and that’s why she was the holiest woman ever, then Taemin thaught again, was that mean he also have a blessing from God? Then why these peoples humiliated by calling him a or er or calling the fetus as a child of the devil? Even his family who’s Taemin been knows were so kind and diplomatic all this time couldn’t help but ignoring him at the end.

No one believed him when he told that it was happened after he got medical check up in Seoul for his scholarship requirement. As far as Taemin remembered, there was one condition when they gave him anesthesia because he needed to get injection, which Taemin didn’t have idea but followed the regulation. After he came back again to the hospital for complaining with a big hope that it was anything but pregnancy, he couldn’t be more depressed after the result told him he was on the way for four months pregnant. The doctor, who eventually in charge for this ‘execution’ have offered him a guarantee as long as he keep the baby until the time for delivering.

Unexpectedly, nothing changed for his family. Taemin even got more threaten from his own family every single second.

“We might not have too high education but we’re not fool, Taemin!”

“But Mom, that was the doctor said! You should have come with me to listen, its some kind of mistakes!”

“You ever said to me that you like the guy from music club.” Both Taemin and his Mom darted their eyes to the voice owner, it was Taemin cousin, Jangtae who two years older but same grade as Taemin because Taemin was just a genius and attended same school as Taemin. Taemin mouth became wider as he couldn’t bare with the betrayal he got from the very person he trusted for 16 years.

“I.swear.it.was.a.joke” said Taemin with low voice and clenching his teeth, not daring to looking at everyone faces while Jangtae responed immedietly by  shaking his head.

“What is it? So you actually like guy?” asked his Mom in a very low voice, holding all of her emotion as her breath became short.

“Mom, you know I can’t lying, Iam not lying about this malpractice think and I didn’t do anythi-“

A slap sound could be heard by the neighbourhood, Taemin shot his eyes open after his mother, the figure he adored the most in his short 16 years of life, slap him hard right on the face for the very first time because he was telling the truth.

“Don’t call me Mom anymore, you are not my son! Not only you are pregnant but you like a guy too, you are a ing gay, STOP DISGUSTED ME ANYMORE!” his Mother literally screaming right on his face, the second thinks he received for the very first time from his Mother. Taemin couldn’t really caught what was happened next, he only heard a loud buzz voice and he collapsed immedietly.

A couple days after the incident at midnight, Taemin was ready with all stuff packed on two big luggages he bought for university, one big sport bag, and a buldge belly compared his tiny body. Good think he saved quite a lot from winning many dance competition because he was expected to continuing his study aboard. He was planning to leave thought, but wasn’t in that kind of situation. Taemin didn’t know if its count as a good think but he was leaving his family and a toxic environtmental he though were good before. The disappointment he felt for being disowned from his family way much more awefull than desired to abort the innocent soul, and strangely, he survived until the baby was delivered in this world.

His pregnant state, which is count as an anomaly, almost lead him to baby blues syndrome and death as it is not enough think that made depression. For Taemin, being diagnosed pregnant in your 16^th years old when you just a week from final school test and where the opportunity to strike gold is just as close as you open the door was like being on big huge hole. You just kept falling until the think you could only hear was your screaming eventhough you’re not able to scream anymore. You saw the land and ready to crush your body on it but turned out it just another layer of illusion as you kept falling down, like no matter how much hope you could prayed for, its just a hope, and you done for it.

The only think that amused him all the time along this pregnancy was nobody really questioning about his gender. He has does buldging flesh on his neck and an obvious lack of for pregnant woman, and all  little muscles which distracted by his pretty face and feminine body curve any woman could envy of. He just wear a casual shirt and pants and let his hair fall or sometimes locked his hair when he needed to go out for daily checked but peoples stares would be two meaning : 1. Quite confuse with his weird body proportion as a pregnant man, 2. His beauty just enough to not make any judgement about his gender.

And the day he never expected would filling his life has come when Yoogeun was born. He just overwhermingly happy as he never felt this joy before. He just cursed himself andlessly to ever thinking about aborting this baby, and promised to be stronger. The feminine side somehow dominating him since Yoogeun was born and his maternity was not joke either as  he unconsciously referring himself as a Mom until Yoogeun was able to said those word for the first time. Since Yoogeun have been calling him with Mom, he didn’t have much option but to appeared like one, and he quite enjoy it. Afterall, he blessed with those pretty face and fairy skin and thin body every girl would die for it. He also didn’t cut his hair too short to make sure he really looks like a woman, so peoples would not staring when Yoogeun call him with Mom instead of Dad.

The next think after he gave a birth was even more difficult, although his life was being more colourful with Yoogeun existence. He is been working several odd jobs with small income to provide him and Yoogeun, also Granny Sung Im, the old lady who live alone beside his small living place. She became Taemin savior the moment Taemin started living in this strange city. She was the only one who offering a hand to Taemin when he has no one to rely on, eventhough the lady seems to be the one who needs more help than him. She was in her golden age, abonded by her family long time ago, and blind. Taemin probably couldn’t trust people anymore after what he had been through but he knew he needs someone oneday, just like the old lady. The old lady was so kind and gentle, she taught Taemin everything he needs to prepared like formula, diapers, bibs, baby mittens, and since Taemin was a special cast, more amount of bottle milk should be a must. When Yoogeun was born, she also taught him how to bath, changing the diapers, and cut his nail carefully. As the time passed by, she became Yoogeun’s Granny because she just love the baby and Taemin wouldn’t mind at all to have someone loving this angel as much as he did. She would take care of Yoogeung when Taemin worked from dawn to late and made him a simple dinner to at least energized him again. But the old lady couldn’t hide her sick anymore as she started to forget thinks and unable to do much because of her osteoporosis.

“Oh, Granny, have you eaten??” Taemin calling the granny as soon as he leaving the kindergarten while walking to his working place at florist.

“Is it Taemin? Yes yes, I ate. How’s Yoogeun first day??” Ask her on the line with loud voice.

“He just started Granny, I will pick him up around 5. Don’t forget to eat your medicine and rest, ok?” he heard a soft laught as a reply.

“You should be the one to not forget to eat, you are working hard everyday, I just lay my back all day. Do you not trust me anymore to take care of Yoogeun??”

“Nooo Granny, you will not get proper rest if Yoogeun is  around. Beside, he is ready to start school so please don’t think anything bad, I trust no one but you.”

“Glad to hear that, don’t be too late to go home, fighthing!” Taemin giggling lowly, the one that taught her ‘fighthing’ word was Yoogeun, he is such a witty. Taemin put his phone to pocket, luckily the bus he supposed to ride to his working place just about to arrive. The seat is all full and he go to center where there is enough space for him to stand, his working place just two shelters away anyway.  Not a second later, a man, probably 20 something, stand up and gesturing to have his seat for Taemin.

Not again, he must be thinking Iam a girl.

Taemin looks around and yep, he is the mostly feminime creature among the masculines.

“Thank you” Said Taemin quietly and makes the gentleman wobbling, crimson color appeared on his face. Taemin take a look to the guy whose busying himself with his phone right now, he is quite handsome, and he can’t denying he feels slightly warm on his face. But it just impossible to hope he would like Taemin once he knows that he is a guy. So as usual, Taemin give up before even try to open first because the result is clear for him.

Moreover, and the most importantly, Taemin has a son, and he has to bolding a son from his very womb many times so he wouldn’t forget and fall easily. Granny Sung Im has always said that no one would dislike Yoogeun and if there is someone love him as much as he love his son, Temin would gladly welcome him in their little family, if.

Yoogeun is very active child and full of energy. He remembered taking Yoogeun to amusement park and the boy was running all the way to the arcade. Taemin had to holding Yoogeun’s hand all the time or else the boy would be missing in the crowd. As a three years old child, Yoogeun is also stubborn on something he wants. Every child surely have this strong-willed attitude but Yoogeun was beyond. Taemin was shock upon his cute little boy was whining and pouting almost all day when they went to fish market because he couldn’t catched an eel in the big bucket. Of course its difficult, even an adult couldn’t catch it easily bare handed.

“Little kid, its too hard for you, here, use my gloves.”

Yoogeun growling and start whining when an Ahjussi offering him a pair of gloves and net. When Taemin ask Yoogeun to apologized, he stomping his feet and walk away with a rude manner which makes Taemin have to bowing to the older man for his son attitude.

“Lee Yoogeun! Its not polite to behave like that, the Ahjussi just want to help you catching the eels!”

“Yoogeunni wants to catch it like Ahjussi without a gloves!” he said without looking at Taemin eyes, folding his hand to show how much he angry for that thought.

“You see its also hard for me, Yoogeunnie. How about we try later after we buy clams and small octopus so Granny could make us Nakji Jeonggol.”

“Alright” said Yoogeun shortly, he grabbed Taemin’s hand but still upset. Taemin wanted to laugh and kiss those pouting lips right away but he knows it would only makes him more upset so they just continued looking around another sea creature.

When Taemin said they would try again, he didn’t really meant it. Yoogeun dragged him again to the eels store before they went home because he promised him. “Ahjussi, Yoogeunnie want to try catching this eel without a gloves.” He said to the owner, earning a laugh and adoring sound from another customers as well.

“Iam sorry, I don’t expect he would be this stubborn to-“

“Waaaaw”

Taemin turned his head to Yoogeun immedietly when everybody gave a light applause and he couldn’t believe this stone head little kid finally showing his pretty smile after he accomplished his ‘mission’.

“Mom, Yoogeun did it, hehehe.”

He smile for that thought, that time he realize how strong Yoogeun’s will to earn something he wants too. The character that definitely doesn’t come from him, so it must be from the Father. Sometimes Taemin think about the person who must responsible for this disastrous changing in his life. Would he ever meet with this guy, what would his reaction to knowing his child is been growing up well and healthy, would he stole away Yoogeun from Taemin once he knows that his children is still alive?

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