chapter six : thoughts

 

for the first time, jeongyeon felt that their library was so small.

it feels suffocating.

being with someone in an enclosed place meant one thing for her. it was awkward.

she was never the type to open a conversation with someone she barely knew. that's one of the reason why she kept her circle small. thanks for im nayeon's effort though, jeongyeon was able to acquire new friendships.

well, that was the case for other people. but for crying out loud! she's with freaking park jimin a.k.a. the walking contradiction guy in her own home! particularly in the library!

"loosen up," jimin mumbled to jeongyeon while he glued the project to the base. he can sense her tense shoulders. "i'm not used to your silence."

"w-well, you'd better be used to it b-by now." jeongyeon stuttered.

jimin's brows shot up. why would he be used to it though? he raised his head and saw that she was looking at him, cheeks were in a tint of red.

"i-i'll just go get some snacks," she said and quickly got out.

when she got out, her face looked like a weight on her shoulders was removed.

what kind of freaking effect he has to me?

brushing the topic on the back of her head, she strolled her way to the kitchen to get some snacks.

her mom was baking cookies when she arrived.

"why are you so red?" jeongyeon's mom asked with a smirk. she watched her daughter got a bowl and two glasses from the cupboard.

"it's not what you're thinking, mom." she rolled her eyes at her. for some reasons, jeongyeon hated how her mom's eyes were full of malice.

"i didn't say anything," her mom said in a sing song tone, a hint of malice still evident in it.

avoiding her mom, she took some cookies on the cookie jar and filled the glass with milk.

after that, she left the kitchen as her mom laughed at her reaction.

bringing a guy to her own house meant two things; one, her mom's mind would produce so many possible assumptions. two, her dad would freak out.

it's a good thing that her dad wasn't there. or else...

her mom has been formulating assumptions eversince she mentioned jimin one day during breakfast. it added more fuel to the fire.

okay, so does really have a problem. maybe shutting it off for the meantime would be great.

"are you hungry?" jeongyeon carefully asked jimin when she entered the library. she placed the tray into a table near them. she sat on the couch while jimin's seating on the carpeted floor. "i've brought some cookies."

"not really, but thanks." he said. he was actually done. he stood to get some cookies and sat on the couch next to jeongyeon.

he leaned his back and craned his neck sideways, exercising it.

"i have something to ask," jimin mumbled. jeongyeon looked at him. he has his eyes closed.

jeongyeon was surprised. never did jimin asked permission. it was a first.

she was about to answer when jimin rose from his perched position and glanced at her. she was staring at him in awe.

"nevermind," he spat, avoiding jeongyeon's stare.

"why? what is it?" her curiosity attacked her system so she bugged jimin, but he shook his head and went back to his perched position. jeongyeon took that as a sign of a no. "fine."

jimin sighed. this thing has been bugging him for the whole time.

"do you think someone can fall inlove again?" he said quickly. it was an out of the blue question for jeongyeon.

"i think so...?" jeongyeon answered, sounding unsure. well, what would she know if sh

"well, i think it's still possible to fall inlove again." she muttered when jimim didn't said anything. she was no love guru, but she still gave it a shot.

"you think so?" jimin cracked open an eye. jeongyeon nodded.

jimin smirked. "how come?"

"well first of all, don't judge me." she paused when she heard him chuckled. "i've never been in a relationship, but i still think my stand would be some kind of help..."

knowing how her relationship to jimin has always been full of arguements, she's afraid he might said something about how crooked her views about love are.

"i won't," jimin said.

bewildered, she glanced at jimin's face.

thick furrowed eyebrows, pointed nose, plumped lips, hard and chiseled jaw and those muscles she saw awhile ago. she wondered how he could be so angelic and mean at the same time.

"go on, i'm listening." jimin broke her from her reverie. jeongyeon realized that she was staring much.

she shrugged and started to tell how it was possible to give another shot to love.

"it's never too late for another try." she started. "love might come out as painful because of your past experiences, but this experience will shape you. after all, experience is the best teacher."

"uh huh," jimin agreed.

"loving again means being happy again, also, it means being prepared for another wave of boulders. boulders that would serves as problems and problems that would soon lead to break ups. but, if you truly love someone, you'd be prepared to destroy these boulders."

jimin opened his eyes and watched her speak.

"destroying these boulders along the way would be very hard. thoughts of giving up might come and thoughts of getting tired." she chuckled. "of course, who wouldn't be tired of the incoming wave of problems again, right?" she glanced at jimin.

"but i think that that's completely the essence of opening your heart once again for the right person. fall inlove with someone who's ready to destroy the boulders with you. not the one who's gonna be a boulder to you."

she smiled at jimin, but the latter didn't return it. he continued to watch her with serious eyes.

the two were silent for ten minutes.

jeongyeon snapped when she realized why did she, of all people, was the one he was asking to?

"can i ask a question back?" jeongyeon muttered in a small voice, hoping that he would.

"no," jimin smirked inwardly. he rose from his seat and started packing his things.

how unfair! she wanted to slap herself for being nice for minutes!

i opened my mouth for genuine things, yet he... ugh!

jeongyeon rolled her eyes. jimin can hear her whinings but decided to not indulge her. after all, he wasn't prepared to be interrogated.

she was going to get pissed at him eitherway, so he resorted to not doing so.

"does your boy friend have a car?" jimin asked, pertaining to jeonghan.

"eww, he's not my boyfriend," jeongyeon answered dryly, scrunching her nose. "in fact, i don't have one at all!"

"whoa," jimin stood and approached her with a smirk, mocking her. "look who's sashaying her way to anger avenue!"

"shut up!" jeongyeon was glaring at him as he exited the door. she can clearly hear jimin's chuckles when she closed the door.

"tell jeonghan to help you bring that to school," jimin mumbled after hearing jeongyeon cursing at him.

"whatever," jeongyeon said, ignoring him. they walked past the kitchen and dining room and saw that the food was served.

"are you going home now?" jeongyeon's mom approached them when she saw them.

"yes, he is." jeongyeon answered for jimin who, apparently has that ghost of a smile on his face.

"would you like to eat some before leaving?" being the kind mother that she was, jeongyeon's mom offered jimin to stay for the meantime. jeongyeon had half-opened when she heard her mom's suggestion.

"i would like to," jimin was surprised but instantly recovered. he eyed jeongyeon and saw her face, disbelief evident on it. he smirked. "but i hate to reject the invitation just because it's my first time in here..."

jeongyeon's mom chuckled apologetically. "no, no, no, it's alright!"

"it's not," jeongyeon said to herself in a small voice. she silently yelped in pain when her mother pinched her on the side.

"no, really," jimin smiled at her mother. "also, i've got somewhere else to go and i don't want to be late... i'm really sorry."

"no, no, no, it's okay..." jeongyeon's mom shook her head. she smiled friendly at jimin. "maybe, next time?"

"of course, mrs yoo!" jimin chuckled.

jeongyeon was watching jimin with disbelief. how thickfaced! as if i would let him here again!

"okay, that's enough. mom, he has to.go!" jeongyeon cuts off, pulling jimin by the arm and dragging him out of the house. she freed jimin's arm when they were at the garage.

"how hospitable of you," jimin mumbled, ridiculing her. she glared at him but he let out a bark of laughter which made jeongyeon's insides flare.

as much as she wants to punch that smirk on his face, she was clearly aware of what will happen after it. she pushed a button and the garage opened.

"bye," she plainly said as she watched his car move. jimin was looking at her with a creased brow. "don't ever come back!"

"bye!" he waved his free hand and closed his window. chuckling when he saw that he had pissed her, again.

-

"w-what?! you did what?!" nayeon choked when jeongyeon told her what happened awhile ago with jimin.

she had called her friend after dinner with her dad.

"i did not do anything!" jeongyeon rolled her eyes and left her phone at her bed to open the xbox. "he asked, and i was kind to answer."

"what did he asked you again?" nayeon said on the other line.

"he asked if someone's capable to love again," jeongyeon replied, grabbing the console.

"why would he ask that though?" nayeon bewilderedly asked.

"i was about to ask him that," jeongyeon prompted, while lazily playing overwatch. sounds of guns, rifles and bombs echoed on the whole room.

"can you tone down the volume? ugh, it's so loud!" nayeon shouted from the phone. jeongyeon rolled her eyes and grabbed the remote control to lower the volume.

"happy now?" jeongyeon sarcastically replied as she leaned on her bed's footboard.

"okay, so back to the topic." nayeon calmly said.

"he's such an , nayeon," jeongyeon muttered. "let's stop talking about him."

"you always say that," jeongyeon could feel nayeon's eyes rolling on the other line. "i'm suddenly confuse..."

"with what?" jeongyeon lazily uttered. she narrowed her eyes when she realized that it must be her... "with your new boytoys?"

"no!" nayeon sounded offended. jeongyeon would always refer her suitors with boytoys when in fact, they were only mere guys who likes her. "not that!"

"okay, so what?"

"why did he have to ask that, right?" nayeon said, mind's flying to the many possibilities as to why jimin asked that. "don't tell me he's patching things up with hirai momo?"

"who's that?" jeongyeon creased a brow with the mention of another name. she's not a social butterfly unlike nayeon.

"it's his ex-girlfriend, girl!" nayeon exclaimed on the other line. "i think they broke up because she cheated on him together with his friend."

"that's so mean," jeongyeon commented upon hearing it. she now realized that jimin's indifference leveled up when they broke up.

"yes, i know! i've heard from my blockmates that she's chasing jimin in daylight but dates his friend at night time."

"i don't think it's her..." jeongyeon paused the game and reminisced something. nayeon continued telling gossips on the other line.

"really?" nayeon stopped from her litany. "well, that's okay, it's been four months since they broke up."

"enough of jimin," jeongyeon said after minutes of silence.

"'kay, fine," nayeon probed. jeongyeon never liked to hear this kind of gossips so nayeon stopped. "by the way, do you have plans for tomorrow? jisoo wants to go clubbing."

"nah, i can't." jeongyeon sighed and continued the game she's playing. "good thing, dad has plans for tomorrow."

"oh really? when did he came home?" nayeon asked, remembering jeongyeon's dad's line of work.

"awhile ago," jeongyeon replied boringly.

"where will you go tomorrow?"

"it's somewhere in jeju. a hotel, i think?" jeongyeon said, sounding unsure. she didn't clearly hear the details of their trip. "tell jisoo that i'll join next time. but i won't if it's a bar, again. bye!"

"oohh, bummer." nayeon said before jeongyeon ended the call.

jeonghan was calling her but she kept on ignoring it. she continued to play and after defeating her enemies, she felt drowsy.

she walked to her bathroom to wash herself before packing her things and sleeping.

while jeongyeon is relaxing herself in her bath tub, thoughts came flowing in.

the first thing that came was the thought about jimin.

a very out of the blue question and a topic to be talked about especially if you are talking to the great walking contradiction of your life.

jeongyeon might not be a er for romance for a particular reason, but she still believes in it. although it was hard.

the second thing is that the possibility of her liking jimin. he was never her type.

despite being the goal-oriented she is, she still has an ideal man in mind. strategic, intelligent, wise, family-oriented, and goal-oriented. appearance doesn't matter.

jimin might be strategic and intelligent, but he's a complete devil, pompous and he's so full of himself! he has an eccentric ego!

puffing an annoyed sigh at herself, she brushed jimin off of her mind.

jimin has been a long-time blockmate, eversince first year. but he's grown worse! and keeps on getting on her. his hobby is to always argue with her and make fun of her.

good thing they are going to relax tomorrow. it's a good thing to clear her mind.

heaving a deep sigh, she got up and washed herself. she drained the tub and wore her robe.

she lied down her bed and stared at the ceiling 'till sleep attacked her system.

"i think i like you now..." jeongyeon mumbled in a small voice, her eyes glued to her hands.

jeongyeon and jimin were at the park, after a long tiring day.

her eyes widened when she saw jimin held her hands. he lifted her chin with his finger and made her look at his face.

she saw jimin's eyes sparkling. it was like the black hole, if you get close to it, you might be lost. it was so beautiful that you could drown on his gaze.

jimin smiled and that made jeongyeon blushed profusely. she removed her eyes from jimin's and tried to looked the surroundings instead, but was halted since jimin made her look at him again.

"you don't know how happy i am now that you've said it," jimin sincerely said that sent butterflies onto her stomach.

"c-can i?" jimin asked as he cupped her cheeks, wanting to kiss her on the lips.

jeongyeon didn't say a word, instead, she closed her eyes and anticipated for the kiss.

"jeongyeon!" a shout from the door woke her up. sungyeon was knocking and calling her phone for several times. "it's breakfast time! get up!"

what a dream! she stared at the ceiling and felt her warm cheeks. when she touched her lips, she blushed. her heart started to hammer imside her chest. she shut her eyes closed and prayed to the heavens to erase that dream from her mind. unbelievable!

i even closed my eyes! what am i? a er for his kisses? ugh!

shame on you! her subconscious said.

"i'm coming in!" sungyeon shouted from the door and barged in. jeongyeon was in the middle of calming her racing heart, to not even care.

"w-why are you blushing?" sungyeon asked in a surprise tone when she saw her sister fanning herself while eyes were closed.

"are you okay?" sungyeon went to her and held her forehead. she shrieked when she felt her warm. she turned to the door and was about to call their parents but jeongyeon stopped her.

"i-i'm fine," jeongyeon motioned her hand.  she breathed properly and looked at her sister. "see?"

"a-are you sure?" sungyeon grabbed her phone. "i think we should call a--"

"no way!" jeongyeon raised from her bed and drank the glass of water on her bedside table. "it's just an ugly dream."

sungyeon sighed in relief. "good grief."

jeongyeon stood from her bed and walked to her vanity. she brushed her hair and turned to sungyeon on the mirror. "you go ahead. i'll head downstairs after brushing my teeth."

sungyeon nodded and stood up. she got out after taking a second look at her sister.

jeongyeon shook her head and chuckled when sungyeon glanced at her for the last time before closing her door.

shrugging, she stood up from her vanity and entered her bathroom.

after doing her morning rituals, she went out of her room and headed downstairs.

she heard her dad cracking a joke when she entered the dining room. her mom was busy putting a plate of bacon and hotdogs. sungyeon is chuckling while the rim of the mug is on her lips.

"good morning!" she greeted everyone and and sat on her usual seat, next to sungyeon.

"jeonghan phoned me awhile ago," her mom said while removing her apron and proceeded to sit. "did you fought?"

"no," jeongyeon said quickly, bringing the cup of chocolate to . she noted to herself to text jeonghan later.

"jeonghan? he's back?" her dad asked when they started to eat.

"yeah," jeongyeon answered. "last week, i think?"

"he goes to the same university with her, dad." sungyeon added.

"really?" jeongyeon's dad raised a brow. "oh well, since he's here, i won't have a problem when it comes to your suitors, huh."

jeongyeon rolled her eyes. the topic she dreaded came back again.

"i doubt if she'd entertain anyone at that state," her mom said, while looking at her. judging from her daughter's choice of everything, she highly doubt if she would be glad to enter a relationship. "you know how goal-oriented she is."

"i know, but, isn't it better to be ready than ever?" her dad chuckled. he sensed that his youngest doesn't want the topic so he changed it quickly. "anyways, have you already packed your bags? we'll be leaving after breakfast."

jeongyeon and sungyeon nodded their heads.

"where are we going again?" jeongyeon asked, before munching her pancake.

"the shilla jeju, sweetie." her mom answered. "we're staying there tonight, but we're leaving at dusk. why? i've check your schedule and your class tomorrow starts at 10. right?"

"hmm," jeongyeon nodded.

they ate while their dad continued to tell stories about berlin. after eating, they started to prepare for the trip.

-

"wow," jeongyeon mumbled in awe when she saw a brand new suv infront of her. she turned to her dad with gaped open. "when did you get this?"

"the company gave it to me as a gift for my promotion," her dad answered. the window of the driver seat rolled down and she was even surprised to see a driver.

"you have your own driver?" jeongyeon asked again, fascination in her tone. "oh my gosh!"

"you're overreacting," sungyeon pushed her aside when she was still infront of the car's door. she opened and slid on her seat next to the windows.

"hey! i will seat next to the windows!" jeongyeon entered the car and fought with sungyeon for her seat.

"i was here first!" sungyeon stuck out her tongue. placed her airpods on her ears, ignoring her sister.

"mean!" jeongyeon pulled her hair. sungyeon, being the lame she is, got easily swayed.

jeongyeon slid on the space and settled herself with a smug look on her face.

sungyeon groaned and rolled her eyes. she grabbed the hotdog pillow infront and placed it beside her, creating a barrier between her and jeongyeon.

"my, you're already adults and yet you still fight like that!" their mom growled and started her litany on how immature her children is.

her two daughters ignored her and closed their eyes, ignoring their mom's litany.

jeongyeon opened her eyes when her mom went silent after hearing her dad murmured something to her.

she fished for her phone on her bag and opened her messenger app.

a message popped and it was from her girl friends chatroom. she swiped up to read some messages. it was a miracle to see her friends online at this hour, specifically at 5 am.

kim jisoo: what's up? let's party later!!!

kang seulgi: got a date with yoongi, i can't

kim jennie: can't! i've got a paper to finish...

im nayeon: me too T_T, something came up. jeongyeon can't too. they're leaving.

kim jisoo: that's so saaaaaaad. how bout sooyoungie

park sooyoung is typing...

park sooyoung: party?!

park sooyoung: as much as i want to go with you, i can't too. we're going somewhere...

yoo jeongyeon: hi! sorry jisoo... you know i don't do parties

kim jisoo: T_T

im nayeon: sorry jisoo :((( maybe after this semester ends?

kim jisoo: that's still a month away :(

kang seulgi: yeah, we could plan a trip on semestral break...

kim jennie: that sounds awesome

park sooyoung: one week?

im nayeon: i'm in!

yoo jeongyeon: me too!

yoo jeongyeon: we all deserve a break before our practicum

kim jisoo: yeah! i'll look for a place

jeongyeon closed the chatroom and opened sooyoung's chat. she messaged her awhile ago.

sooyoung: hey!

jeongyeon: what's up?

sooyoung: where are you going?

jeongyeon: jeju island. dad came home, you know.

sooyoung: jeju?

sooyoung: omg! we're also going there!

sooyoung: where will you stay?

sooyoung: we'll stay at the shilla jeju!

jeongyeon froze when she read the name of the hotel.

oh no. don't tell me...

jeongyeon: with your fam?

sooyoung: yes!

shiz. jeongyeon shut her eyes closed. with an unreadable face, she typed her message.

jeongyeon: that's nice! we're going at the same hotel!

jeongyeon: see you!

jeongyeon plugged her airpods in and closed her phone after choosing a playlist. she wanted to relax herself even if she knew she can't.

-

the view was overall breathtaking.

it wasn't her first time to visit jeju island, but still, the wonders nature did to still remain its beauty puts jeongyeon in awe.

she watched as they passed the green surroundings and animals.

it was relaxing, too bad she can't relax.

knowing her dream and the fact that she and jimin will probably meet there!

i think that the hotel's big! it won't be famous if it wasn't, right? the probability of seeing him will be 0.0001%! i don't have to stress myself over this!

she sighed. this is bad.

"we're here!" a shout woke jeongyeon up. thoughts about the possibilities of seeing jimin in this big hotel made her fall asleep.

"wow!" sungyeod exclaimed in awe when she got out of the car. "dad, this is so nice!"

jeongyeon blinked rapidly to adjust her eyes to the bright lighting. her eyes focused on the hotel infront of her.

"wow," gaped open. the serenity she felt from the hotel's interiors and exteriors brushed off jimin from her mind.

they entered the hotel and checked their reservation.

"wait 'til you see the itinerary, girls." their dad told as he watch his daughters enjoying the nice view.

their dad reserved two rooms. one for them and for his daughters.

"keycard," sungyeon grabbed the keycard from their dad and went to the elevator excitedly. jeongyeon followed suit with a smile on her face.

when they arrived at their rooms, they can't help but to be in awe again.

it was beautiful! everything!

jeongyeon went to the bedroom while sungyeon checked the pantry.

she pushed the curtain to reveal the amazing view. "wow, i could live here!" she exclaimed.

the bedroom was spacious and the interior design is minimalist. the room is accentuated with the colors of white and beige.

there's a queen size bed, a couch, vanity and a walk-in closet. infront of the bed was a wide screen television.

jeongyeon grabbed the remote control to open the television. she put it on cartoon network before she placed her things on the closet.

"jeongyeon!" sungyeon popped out of nowhere with a plate of tangerines on her hand. "where are you?"

"why?" jeongyeon went out of the closet and sprinted towards sungyeon.

she grabbed a tangerine before sungyeon could avoid. "fast reflexes, huh." she mocked her sister.

"err," sungyeon rolled her eyes and pursed her lips towards the pantry. "get some for yourself there."

"later," she ate the tangerines. "why did you call me?"

"oh, mom and dad told me to change since we're going somewhere." sungyeon entered the bedroom.

"okay," jeongyeon sat on the bed near the glass windows. "this is mine."

"whatever," sungyeon rolled her eyes and placed her bag to the walk-in closet. "i'll change first!"

jeongyeon grabbed a pillow and lied on the bed. her eyes glued to the television while the steven universe show is playing.

"i'm done!" sungyeon, after a good ten minute shower went out. sporting a floral maxi dress, she graced infront of jeongyeon, blocking her vision from the television. "what do you think?"

jeongyeon narrowed her eyes. "it's okay..."

"really?" sungyeon turned and jeongyeon nodded again. "okay then!" she sat infront of the vanity with her make-up kit.

jeongyeon stood after the commercial started. she took a shower and was now choosing a suitable outfit for their tour.

"i think you should wear this," sungyeon muttered from behind. she picked the off shoulder floral jumpshorts. "it looks good on you. wait, isn't this the one i bought you?"

"yeah, thanks!" she nodded and picked it nonetheless. she changed and went out of the closet. she saw her sister munching tangerines again while watching a drama.

"where's mom and dad?" jeongyeon asked as she brushed her hair infront of the vanity. her hair was getting longer and she's thinking about getting a trim.

"on their room," sungyeon lazily answered. her eyes drifted from the television to her sister beside it. she stood up and wiped her hands with wipes. "are you ready now? let's go and get them."

"wait!" jeongyeon doesn't really regularly apply make-up but due to her friends lamentations about her paleness, they pushed her to wear tint atleast. she applied the tint on her lips and after being satisfied with the shade, she stood up and grabbed her sling bag. "let's go!"

"you finally applied some color to your face huh," sungyeon mumbled after noticing the tint of cherry red on her sister's lips.

"yeah, my friends told me that i look like a ghost." jeongyeon opened the door and was welcomed by their parents. her mom praised what she wore.

"what's our itinerary?" sungyeon asked as they walked towards the elevator. "don't tell me we're going to museums again?"

"nope," their dad shook his head while grinning.

"thank goodness!" jeongyeon clapped her hands and sighed in relief.

"what's so bad about museums?" their mom asked. their mom loves to go around museums. she narrowed her eyes when she realized her daughters doesn't appreciate art.

"no, mom. it's not that bad. it's actually tiring." jeongyeon prompted, before her mom could go on again.

"yeah! my feet hurts whenever we tour around museums. imagine, thirty four exhibits?" sungyeon exclaimed when the elevator ting-ed.

"don't worry, girls." their dad patted their heads. "we're going to the botanical garden, chocolate land and after that, we'll ride a yacht."

"a yacht?!" sungyeon and jeongyeon turned their heads with wide eyes. dad grinned. his daughters love the sea and they've always wanted to ride a yacht.

"jeongyeon?"

sungyeon and jeongyeon were about to head to the exit but a familiar voice called her that made her froze.

the world really is a small place.

"sooyoung?" sungyeon recognized the voice and hurriedly turned to face the newcomer. "oh, hi!"

jeongyeon slowly her heel and the first thing she saw was jimin's annoying smirk.

"hey," he greeted her with a wink that made her heart race and her cheeks blush.

she avoided his gaze and went to sooyoung to hug her.

-