“you know, if you bite your nails to much, the boogieman will come and take your Appa..” Sung jong smiled at Il eun.

She shifted on her seat. “anni, my Appa will never leave me, even if the boogieman came. He cant beat my Appa.” Il eun puffed up her cheek.

Sung jong extended his arm and pinched her cheeks. She cried in pain. “wet wo(let go)” she muffled, her arms flailing around. “no!” he answered, dodging her arms.

The other kids were staring at them, laughing at their little show. Then the teacher came and stood infrot of them. “play nice eunnie, jongie.. you don’t want a time out, do you?” she smiled.

Sung jong withdrew his hands and smiled sheepishly at the teacher. “mianhae..”. Il eun laughed.

“miss?” a sudden voice broke Il eun from her daze. “miss?” another echoed in. she thumbed backwards, almost dropping the jug she was holding. She shuffled back and blinked her eyes rapidly. The two customers infront of her had their eyes on her with worried expressions on their faces. She bowed and apologized. “chusunghae (sorry)” she lowered her head again.  she quickly took their order s and paced towards the counter.

“you seem a little off today, Il eun-shii.” One of her co-workers said. “yeah, you ok?” her manager chimed in from the bar while polishing some glasses. “you look red” he added. Self-consciously, Il eun touched her face. one of her eye brows shot up and she just shook her head. “nothing, I just… have something in mind. mianhae.” She bowed and proceeded with her work.

The two figures just shrugged. “maybe it’s the weather. It is raining after all.” The cashier joined in. “plus it’s almost winter. Even I’m feeling a little stuffy.” A waiter pouted. The manager sighed. “ stop gossiping and get back to work.” He said in a low voice. “everyone..” he ordered, everyone obeyed and resumed their duties.

It was almost midnight and the café finally closed. Il eun thanked the staff, changed her clothes and made her way out, heading towards a convenience store near her apartment.  

She’s been that way for as long as she could remember. Having to work two jobs at a time, it’s hard, but she tries to make it work. She never complained about it, not even once. Il eun’s just doing her fair share in life. She knew that nothing good will ever come if she just kept on whining.

…

When Il eun arrived home, it was already 4 in the morning, earlier than usual. Sometimes she would arrive home just at the peak of sunrise. She would just take a little time to wash up and headed to school. This time, she was relieved that she could have a little time to rest. Sleep only covered ¼ of her daily routine.

Her life was hard for a student. With no one to call her own, she just kept the sinking feeling to her self. None of her school mates knew how she lived, like they ever cared. Sung jong knew, but he too never cared.  No friends, no family and having to live alone, she accepted it. It would be nice if it ended, but she still endured it.

As a child, she was fragile. Now, she’s all grown-up, she learned how to be tougher, to be stronger. She learned a lot of things. One of them was, to never put your trust in the people you love.

…

When Il eun opened her eyes, she saw only white trough her window. Snow was beginning to fall. She blinked once and closed them. The first day of winter has come. As much as she loved the cold, she hated snow. It reminded her of a dreadful past.

On the first day of winter, her father left her at the orphanage. He was still an infant, but her vision of the past was still clear. 

“I’ll be right back” he said. She waited and waited. He didn’t come back. She wandered, why didn’t he come back? Why did he leave her? Did he hate her? In the end, the only option left was to blame herself.

She loved how her father read stories to her every single night. About how all the characters would finally live happily ever after. As she grew, she realized, in real life, happy endings, don’t exist. You know how the evil characters would die in the end, she always thought that it was sad, but now, she envied them. Rather than having to go trough life, knowing no one loves you, it’s better to have just died.

Il eun walked slowly to school, taking her time since it was still early. She wanted to sleep more, but when she tried closing her eyes, it hurt. She was used to the hard labor, but today, she felt tired. Her body was burning up, though it’s cold, sweat was beginning to run down her forehead. Her legs felt heavy so she had to drag them along with her.

She was sick and she knew it. Just because she’s sick, doesn’t mean that she could easily get out of work. She had to force herself, otherwise, how can she survive.

Regardless of the pain, the throbbing headache and the loud buzz, she still went to school. Why? She must. She needed a scholarship. She needed the money. She needed to change.

When she arrived at school, the classroom was empty. “Weird” she thought. She twisted her head up and saw that it was already half past eight.  “Where are all the students?”  she scratched her head than wasn’t itchy while making her way to her seat. A few minutes later, a flood of students entered the classroom. At first they were loud with chatters but as soon as their eyes saw Il eun, they went silent, but a hint of whispering was still heard.

Il eun has her head facing the window. she didn’t mean to ease drop, but she could hear the students going “that new guy is really cute.” “what’s his name?” “did you hear…” bla bla bla.

She just ignored them and continued enduring her pain. It was really hot in the classroom. Il eun felt a little bit light headed.

Deciding that she couldn’t take it anymore, she quietly got up from her seat and went to the backroom.

While the tap water was running, Il eun washed her face and stared at her reflection. “shame” she sighed and turned it off. “why is it so hot?” she wiped her face and paced back towards the classroom.  Just as she was about to open the door, she bumped into her teacher.

“earlier than usual Kim-shii?” he smiled. “I hope this keeps up” he gestured for her to go in first.  She placed her hands on either side of her pockets and entered. The teacher followed behind.

“good morning class.” He began. The class greeted back.

“as you know, a new student will be joining us today.” The class began clapping and cheering.  The teacher raised his hands.

“Lee-shii?” everyone turned towards the door. A boy, perfectly dressed with white milky skin and a bag over his shoulder emerged from the door. The class paused.

“Annyeonghaeseyo, Lee Sung Jong immida.” He bowed. After hearing the name, Il eun eyes shot open. “please take good care of me.” he beamed making all the girls (and boys) blush.

“Sung jong? What the hell is he doing here?” she screamed inside of her head.

The class clapped and welcomed him. “since there’s no empty seat available infront, I guess you can have the empty seat beside Kim- shii.” The teacher pointed at the back. The class went speechless.

Il eun glared at the teacher who was smiling at her, glaring back. She sneered.

When Sung jong arrived at his seat. He froze.

“il-Il eun?” he murmured.

♦♦♦

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