Breathing space

It wasn’t so much as her elfin face, clear voice, and lithesome, five-foot-four tall frame that set her apart from the rest back in college. Sure, she was pretty, but nothing particularly outstanding. And certainly nowhere in the same league as her ridiculously beautiful – and wildly popular – best friend.

Rather, with her it had always been more about what’s underneath the surface – the sharp tongue hiding behind the pretty face. The quiet confidence belying an inconspicuous appearance.

The lazy staccato of her heeled boots bounced against the walls as she strode across the empty floor. She decided to make a quick pit stop at the row of vending machines at the far end of the hallway, before approaching the familiar figure slumped on one of those lumpy, uncomfortable-looking chairs lining the area.

“Did she finally fall asleep?”

She stood in front of the older woman, a beverage in one hand.

Even now, Kim Chaewon was still an imposing vision, in dark jeans, white knitted blouse, and black pea coat, with locks of red-brown hair gracefully cascading way past her shoulders.

“Just now. She said her head’s been pounding non-stop since waking up, so the nurse gave her something,” Chaewon confirmed with a small nod. “Definitely helped, I think.”

The waiting area was empty save for the two of them. Everyone else had gone home for the night. The occasional muted chit-chat of the nursing staff was the only thing breaking the heavy silence that permeated the entire floor.

Sakura hummed in response, taking hold of the warm, canned drink Chaewon had proffered.

“Did you tell her everything?”

“I filled her in about the accident, mostly,” she carefully answered, observing the older woman before her. Sakura tipped her head once in acknowledgment, but didn’t say anything. “She did ask about the more important stuff, though. Her life, her work… you.”

Still seeing no reaction, Chaewon continued, “Unnie really doesn’t seem to have any memory of the last five years. The last tangible memory she has is that of facilitating our freshmen’s orientation during her senior year in uni. That explains why she couldn’t remember you.”

“I figured as much….”

“You know you could have just talked to her yourself, right?” She sighed as she watched Sakura absently fiddle her thumbs, a nervous habit she’d come to recognize from long ago. The canned tea she handed remained unopened, rolling between her palms.  

The older woman finally looked up to meet her gaze.

“You two have known each other far longer than anyone of us had, Chaewonie. You’re the person she trusts the most.”

Chaewon frowned at the wan smile gracing Sakura’s lips. She couldn’t remember the last time one of those smiles actually reached her eyes. Sakura may be generous with these easy smiles when it comes to her friends, however Chaewon was sure the ones she’d been flashing were more for show than anything else.  

“It’s best to hear those things from you. She trusts you,” Sakura repeated, earnest eyes boring into Chaewon’s.

She shook her head. “Unnie, you know that’s not true. Eunbi-unnie –”

“– doesn’t even know me.”

Hearing the noticeable edge to her voice, Chaewon froze.

With the way bobbed heavily, and lips thinned out ever so slightly, Chaewon could clearly see that the woman was struggling to compose herself. Calm as Sakura might have been throughout the ordeal, Chaewon knew better. The thin cracks on Sakura’s mask weren’t for everyone to see, but they were always there, creeping.

Now they were slowly showing.

Chaewon kept shut. She’d seen this before. She knew that even one touch could send the entire thing giving in.

And she knew for sure Sakura didn’t want that happening.

When Sakura once again spoke a few moments later, her voice had already grown soft. She sounded almost apologetic. “Right now, there’s only you.”

“You’re gonna have to talk to her too, unnie.” Chaewon’s own voice turned quiet. The chair released a whoosh of air under her weight as she slid down on the empty space beside Sakura. Realizing the meaning behind the older’s woman’s words, Chaewon suddenly felt weary. “Your relationship isn’t something for me explain to her. You need to have a proper talk, the two of you.”