Chapter 16

This place. This particular place. He hates it in here.

There are too many people. Too much noise. Sad faces are everywhere, whispering even more sad conversations about illness and missfortune. If it's up to him, he wouldn't set a foot on this place at all. If it's up to him he wouldn't even bother to eat, wouldn't want to live at all.

He has to, though. For Jinwoo. For Taeyeon.

“Two sandwiches, please.” Jiyong moves closer so the young woman behind the counter can hear him the second time, trying hard to keep his discomfort in.

“I heard you the first time.” The waitress wipes her hands on the mustard-colored apron, not even averting her gaze from the TV. “Which sandwiches?”

“Spicy Cheesy Beef and...” He mentions the first menu he sees quickly. It's not like he cares much about the taste of his food anyway. It's for Taeyeon he can't decide that quickly.

Is she still crazy about anything salty? Doesn't she love beef? Will pork entices her to eat more? She definitely needs to eat more.

“The people behind you don't have all day, you know?”

“Pork. Spicy cheesy beef and pork.” Jiyong stares at the menu board above the counter. He doesn't really have the appetite, so he decides to choose another one that Taeyeon might like.

“Which pork?”

“Umm...”

“Dude, come on.”

“Crispy pork belly.”

“One crispy pork belly. One spicy cheesy beef. Is that all?”

“Yes.”

“Alright. That will be-”

“Wait. I forgot the drinks.”

The waitress rolls her eyes.

“Iced cappuccino and Matcha Bobba, please.”

“Is that all?” Her manicured fingers tap at the cash register impatiently, eyes back on the TV.

“Yes. That's all. No. Wait. Add a bag of fries too.”

“Regular or large?”

“Large.”

Still in her annoyed tone and ignorance, the woman mentions the price. Jiyong pays then withdraws himself, avoiding eye contact with other people as he finds a spot to wait.

“Look at that. Another suicide news.” An elderly who sits beside him talk to the other elderly who sits across. “Today's generation is so weak.”

“Yeah. We build this country with sacrifice only to have young people trash their easy life on meaningless stuff.”

Jiyong tries to shut them out, mentally thinking about everything else but the sensitive subject.

“There's a suicide patient across Jieun's room. A woman tried to kill herself after losing a son. Inhaled coal fumes then got so disoriented she fell from the balcony of her apartment.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Nurses are all talking about her. A wealthy woman from what I see. A friend of the hospital owner or such.”

“Such a pity. Kids these days call depression out for any little problem they have. Why can't they just square up their shoulders and be grateful for the good life they have.”

“My Jieun lost both our sons because of war and famine, still she thrives to live with me until today. Ferociously battling cancer in her old age as we speak. That young woman should be ashamed.”

“You don't know Taeyeon!” Can't take it anymore, Jiyong stands up with both hands fisted by his sides. “You don't know her pain.”

The two old men gape. Jiyong sways on his feet, seriously considering throwing a punch. They don't know what they are talking about. They have no idea of the pain Taeyeon was in.

“Order number eleven!” The waitress calls Jiyong's number.

Jiyong hurriedly walks to get his order, trying hard to suppress the anger within. He's not exactly mad at the clueless men. He's mad at Taeyeon for being so weak. He's mad at himself for being even weaker, for leaving her when she needed him the most.

“Hi.” He whispers, closing the glass door behind him with a push of a foot. “I bring some breakfast.”

“Brunch.” He corrects himself, setting the food on the bedside table. “Totally unhealthy but super tasty brunch from the cafeteria. Which sandwich do you want?”

“I'll take the beef one.” Jiyong grabs one of the sandwiches and munches noisily. “Oh yeah, so good. The waitress might be a but damn this is worth it all.”

“Here. I've got fries too.” He sets the bag of fries by her hand, watching her eyes blink. “Trust me. They got the best fries in town.”

“I had another blood work done earlier.” He supplies between bites, trying his best to sound excited while his heart actually sinks deeper and deeper at Taeyeon's silence. “If it comes back positive, they will discharge me later this afternoon.”

He waits. Two weeks in and this stone cold silent still feel so odd. Two weeks after the doctors grabbed Taeyeon back from death and it still feels like he's dying. He is dying. Dying to hear her speak again. Dying to see her smile or move a finger or at least look back at him. He used to hate it when Taeyeon gets mad but now all he wants to do is shake her up and make her argue with him again and again.

“Awesome right? As best as this hospital cafeteria food can be I can't wait to eat the real meal at Joe's. It has been too long.” He continues talking, trying to take another bite but the meal now tastes like lead.

“You remember Joe's right? Greasy patty, extra mozzarella, killer cappuccino. You used to love Joe's double cheese spread so much, remember?”

The way her eyes focus on the ceiling. Her slow breath. Her parched lips. That skinny body under the flimsy blanket. Jiyong can feel his own tears choking him from within.

“You need to come out of that nightmare, Taeyeon. Please.” He stops eating, gazing up at the same ceiling. “This. This is not what Jinwoo would love you to be.”

At the mention of Jinwoo's name, Taeyeon blinks rapidly. It's the only way Jiyong know that she's still in there. That deep down beneath there's still a chance for her to come back. That someday, albeit far away, he will hear her speak again.

“Yes, Taeyeon. Jinwoo wouldn't like seeing you like this. Seeing us like this.” He wipes the tears falling from the corner of her eyes. “We need to heal, alright? We need to eat, we need to take the medicine, we need to go to therapy. We need to make our son proud up there.”

“Wake up, Taeyeon. Please. I'm ditching this stinky hospital and so will you. So will you.”

“We'll be strong. We'll survive this. We will.” Biting into his sandwich again, Jiyong swallows back his tears. He might be falling apart inside but God forbids him looking weak in front of Taeyeon.

He has to survive this.

“So you're taking her home.”

“Yes, Mark. I'm sorry.” Jiyong signs the discharge paper with no hesitation.

“It's always you, you know?” Mark sighs. “I tried hard but it's always yo