02 Call Me Baby

Among the stupid things I had done in my nonsensical life, this would be the topmost stupid. Did I just kiss a stranger—a probable colleague—just to make Sehun jealous?

Did I just kiss someone who was being nothing but rude to me ever since our first meet?

Someone who was so irritating and so annoying that all I wanted to do was beat the crap out of him!

I did not even realize that I was still kissing him when all of a sudden he sneezed—right in my face—during our sudden kiss. I wiped his sneeze off my face with the back of my hand in disgust.

“What.The.Hell.Did.You.Just.Do?!!” he hissed angrily as he narrowed his eyes at me while rubbing his nose with the handkerchief that he had taken out from the pocket of his suit.

“I’m sorry but can you just keep quiet for a while?” I asked—no, begged—him. “Let me just do all the talking.”

Irritating Sneezing Guy—Byun BaekHyun—was looking at me like I was some weirdo who had just fled the mental asylum. “Did you really ask me to keep quiet after you have kissed me?!” he shrieked, “Are you insane? How the hell can I keep quiet when you have—ahh, ahh, ahhchoom!” he blew his nose in his handkerchief.

“Bless you,” I said.

“F.uck you!” he muttered.

I was about to hurl some words of abuse back at him—even though it was understandable why he was upset—but when I was about to, we were interrupted by Sehun’s voice.

“Hana, didn’t you hear me?” he asked. He appeared breathless, like he had been running for a while.

“Oh, hi Sehun!” I said in this sugary-coated voice that I didn’t know I could produce, “I didn’t hear you. I was busy with my BaekHyun.”

Byun BaekHyun seemed to have choked upon hearing this. He was coughing—and sneezing at the same time—that I was genuinely concerned about him.

“Are you okay, BaekHyun honey?”

My words seemed to have worsened his condition. The poor guy had even appeared breathless at some point as he gave me this glare that sent shivers down my spine. However, I chose to ignore him. My pride was much more important than to be yelled at by this BaekHyun guy.

“Is this your boyfriend that you told me about?” Sehun asked all of a sudden. “The one that you have forgotten about since it’s still new?”

It was my turn to cough. To make matters worse, from beside me I could feel the intense glare that the BaekHyun guy was giving me. I tried to act nonchalant as I nodded my head.

“I take that as a yes then,” Sehun smiled and extended his hand towards Byun BaekHyun, “Hi, I’m Oh Sehun. I’m Hana’s old friend. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

I watched with bated breath as Byun BaekHyun reached out to shake Sehun’s hand. “Byun BaekHyun,” he replied curtly.

Phew!

I thought for sure that he was going to blow my cover. Maybe this BaekHyun guy is an angel. Maybe he could figure out that I was desperate to do what I did.

“But I’m not her—owww!!!”

Maybe not.

I cut short his chance to tell Sehun the truth by discreetly stomping on his left foot. Sehun appeared puzzled by this as he watched BaekHyun jumping up and down, writhing in pain. I swear BaekHyun looked like he was about to burst into tears.

“Is he okay?” Sehun asked me, sounding concerned.

“I’m sorry, Sehun but my BaekHyun is not feeling well today,” I said apologetically, like I had anything to be apologetic about, “Maybe we can all hang out some other time with your girlfriend.”

Maybe I should just jump into the river.

Just remind me that I need to shut my big mouth. How in the world can I convince this BaekHyun guy to agree to pretend to be my boyfriend? I did not even know how I could come out of the current situation alive—you know, after kissing him and hurting him at the same time?

I could feel it—the intense glare that the BaekHyun guy was giving me—but I pretended not to notice. I needed to do so to avoid ruining this act that I was putting on.

I mustered up my biggest phony smile and looked at the BaekHyun guy; praying that he’d be bedazzled by it and forget about the whole thing. The guy was still glaring at me, like he was ready to hurl multiple abusive words right to my face.

I guess he was still mad at me—who could blame him?

Sehun on the other hand must have thought that we were looking lovingly at each other as he suddenly said, “I better get going and leave you two lovebirds alone.”

I could see BaekHyun cringing at the word ‘lovebirds’ but decided to ignore it. Instead, I flashed Sehun a bright smile and waved him goodbye. “I’ll see you later at the office,” I called as I watched as he his heels to leave.

“Phew, what a relief that he’s gone right?” I asked, sighing of relief.

Unfortunately for me, of course the BaekHyun guy would not be sharing the same sentiment. Instead he was giving me this look so intense that if looks could kill, I would be long dead. Little by little, he inched closer towards me while still glaring at me.

The sight was enough to make my knees wobbled in fright.

When he was so close that his face was inches away from mine, he stopped and pointed his index finger accusingly at me. “WHAT.DID.YOU.JUST.DO?!” he hissed angrily.

I wrecked my brain, trying to find the best solution for me to get out of this mess that I had created. I swear that this guy was angry enough that he would probably hit me at some point and just the thought of it made me quiver in fright.

My mind was telling me to run. Run, Hana, like the wind, it said.

If that voice in my head really knew me, it would not be giving such foolish suggestions. Everyone who knew me knew that I was one of the clumsiest girl in the nation, if I do say so myself. Whenever I run, I would just trip on my legs and fall on the ground. Heck, I was so bad that even my PE teacher had excused me from PE classes back in high school since she was feeling sorry for me. The whole school knew me as the girl who fell flat on her face for nearly 10 times during the 100 metres run.

However, I seemed to have forgotten about this bad experience of mine with running. Maybe I was too afraid of this BaekHyun guy that I was not thinking straight. So can you guess what I did next?

Yes, I ran towards the toilet.

Instead of apologizing to the poor guy who had just been dragged into my childish drama of pride, I decided to run away. Instead of owning up to the lies to Sehun, I decided that running away was the best option.

I forgot to tell you that apart from being clumsy, I was also the unluckiest girl in the planet.

Just when I had reached the door of the ladies toilet, someone pushed the door from inside and it hit my head hard. I mean, the impact was really hard that it threw me backwards and soon I was lying on the floor. My head felt like it was about to burst and my body was aching all over.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” the lady who pushed open the door was sounding so apologetic and genuinely concerned about me.

“I’m fine,” I said although my head was dizzy, “It was my fault.”

“You’re damn right that it was your fault,” BaekHyun still sounded so angry. “She’s okay, you may go now.”

“B-but,” the lady stole a look at me and I tried to plead telepathically for her not to leave me with the Irritating Guy who might eat me alive. Unfortunately for me, she missed the pleas through my eyes and decided to leave us alone. Maybe she thought that this BaekHyun guy was going to take care of me.

I decided that I needed to act hurt so that he might be feeling sorry for me and thus forget about the whole kissing thing.

“Argh, my head,” I moaned, “It hurts. I think I’m having a concussion. Where is this? Who are you? Why am I here?”

BaekHyun was still glaring down at me. “Just stop with your terrible acting,” he said through gritted teeth, like he was holding himself back from eating me alive. “You just said that you’re fine to that lady just now.”

Just my luck that I had entangled myself with someone who was smart! If he was dumb, I bet that the whole thing would be over in no time.

“My head hurts,” I tried again, hoping that he would empathized with my pain.

Instead, he just shook his head and muttered, “Get the hell up.”

“Okay,” I said and immediately stood up.

BaekHyun guy was still glaring at me as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You,” he said, “what’s your name?”

I thought that it would not be wise for me to give him my full name so I said, “Kim ChaeYoung.”

BaekHyun guy was giving me a strange look. “Are you really trying to lie to me?” he said, “I remember that guy said that your name is Hana.”

My face fell. So much for trying to lie!

“If you remember, then why did you ask?” I asked.

BaekHyun once again glared at me. “Ah, never mind! Whatever your name is, I will still refer to you as Cheap Perfum