01: What U Do

Oh. My. God

Surely, this must be nothing but a joke, right?

Surely, he was not actually standing there in front of me, right?

Surely, he can’t be my new boss, right?

Is this a hidden camera? I searched frantically for one but then cringed when I thought how stupid that sounded. I was not anyone famous so why anyone would do a hidden camera on me?

I mustered up the courage to look at Sehun. He was flashing us all a polite smile while shaking hands with the male colleagues and bowing slightly to the female colleagues. Then when he looked aound, our eyes met. He looked slightly taken aback at the sight of me standing there among my peers—his new inferiors.

I did the unthinkable. I curtsied. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I, Kim Hana just curtsied to my new boss who happened to be my old crush slash best friend slash, ehem, first love. Now why didn’t I bow to him like any other normal and sane Korean would?

I have no freaking idea.

Maybe it was because I was nervous, or fidgety—or both. I tend to do stupid things whenever I am nervous and I think that moment was no exception.

From beside me, I could hear ChaeYoung’s soft gasp. She too must be wondering what kind of insanity I was trying to accomplish.  “Yah, the hell was that? Did you just curtsy?” she hissed.

Can people die from embarrassment? I think I might just be the first one to.

I didn’t know just what to do when I could still feel his gaze on me so I gave a slight bow and looked to my right—anywhere other than to look at him.

God, to be curtsying and bowing at him—I must be the world’s most polite employee.

“This is Kim Hana, our file clerk.” I could barely hear Mr. Shin’s voice introducing me to Sehun. I was still deep in thought on how I could get away from the embarrassing moment, hoping really hard that Sehun did not notice my curtsy just now.

“I know,” Sehun replied which in turn had caused quite an uproar among the female colleagues. I was already familiar with the situation. Back when we were in high school, the girls would be causing mayhem whenever he introduced me as his best friend-they thought that I was the hurdle they needed to get over to pursue Sehun. As though he was interested in the first place.

I looked up at him in fright—afraid that he would be telling them about our past. I did not want to be seen as someone who personally knows the new boss—I had wanted to work my way up on my own in my career.

“You know her?” Mr. Shin sounded intrigued by this.

Please don’t tell them that we were friends. Please. Please. Please. I tried to tell him through telepathy, hoping that he’d catch what I was trying to convey through my expression.

Lucky for me, Sehun seemed to have caught what I was trying to say and cleared his throat. “I mean, I saw her near the toilet just now. She introduced herself to me,” he gave me a look, “didn’t you, Hana?”

I let out a huge sigh of relief. “Yes!” I said excitedly, “We met at the toilet just now.”

“Oh, that’s good to know! I think I must have been mistaken. I thought you curtsied to Mr. Oh just now, silly me,” he let out a chuckle. "Who in their right mind would do that? This is not the medieval times."

I could hear the snickers from among my colleagues.  Unfortunately, I think they saw it too. Just great! They would joke about how I curtsied to the new boss. They would say that I was trying to the new boss’ .

If they knew that Sehun and I were best friends, I think they would turn green with envy.

Fortunately, my moment of torment was ended by Mr. Shin showing Sehun around our office. ChaeYoung grabbed my hand to lead me to her cubicle. From the look of it, I knew that she just wanted to gossip about Sehun. She took the vacant chair from the next cubicle and motioned for me to sit on it.

“You met him at the toilet?” she shrieked excitedly. “Yah, why didn’t you tell me?”

“What’s there to tell?” I asked. “It’s not like I’m suddenly his best friend.”

ChaeYoung shook her head in disbelief. “Tch tch tch, this girl. You should try to be more enthusiastic since our new boss is so handsome,” she said, “You should have just taken the chance to hit on him when you met him just now.”

I groaned. “ChaeYoung, for God’s sake! I met him in front of the toilet!” I exclaimed with exasperation, “Do you really think that it’s the appropriate place to mingle with the new boss? For all I know he’s desperate to go into the toilet.”

“But that didn’t stop you from introducing yourself,” she pointed out and I groaned even louder.

“It was only a brief introduction. I only told him my name and that I work here. That’s all,” I said, “I didn’t say much because he looked like he was desperate to pee anyways.”

“I wasn’t.”

I winced. I did not even need to look up to even know that Sehun was already standing there, a bemused look on his face.

“I wasn’t desperate to pee, I mean,” he added to that.

Is there anywhere I could jump off? I looked around desperately for my means of escape. I wished the Earth could just swallow me whole.

ChaeYoung’s jaw dropped to the ground as he looked back and forth between me and Sehun. Then, she immediately got up from her seat to give Sehun a polite bow. “Mr. Oh,” she said hurriedly, “We weren’t talking about you.”

Sehun bowed back and smiled. “Ah, I see,” he smiled. “I thought you were. Sorry for interrupting your conversation but Miss Kim,” he turned to look at me with that y eyes of his, “I need to talk to you for a while about some important, uh, office matters so come see me at my office.” With that, he gave a slight bow and his heels to leave for his office.

I blinked rapidly. What now, I thought. He would not want to reminisce about the past now. would he?

“Yah, what important office matters would he want to discuss with you? You’re only the file clerk,” ChaeYoung pondered out lout.

“Beats me,” I said hurriedly, “He might be interested to know how the filing system works or something. You know how important the filing system is.”

ChaeYoung rolled her eyes and scoffed, “As if! Maybe he wants to know why you curtsied just now. That was so embarrassing," she giggled.

I winced. She need not remind me how embarrassing it was. I need to get away fast so I hurriedly stood up. “He’s waiting for me,” I said curtly.

I tidied my skirt and blouse with my hands and marched with my head up high towards Sehun’s office. I stood in front of the door to his office and took a deep breath.  In my mind, I was already busy contemplating on my means of escape should it be too awkward between us. I might just shout fire or something. I snorted when I imagined Sehun’s pale face as he ran for dear life. To see Sehun scrambling frantically like a scaredy-cat would be entertaining to watch indeed.

“Did you just snort?” Sehun asked.

His voice nearly gave me a heart attack. I did not even notice that he had already opened the door to his office. He must have had seen me coming. It had just slipped my mind that the walls of his office were made up of transparent glasses.

“No,” I replied curtly, “I was about to sneeze.”

Sehun still had that amused look on his gorgeous face. Looking into his eyes, my heart was pounding loudly and thus I dropped my gaze to look at my shoes. God, I must have looked so pathetic to him. At the rate this was going, I thought that I might end up with a real heart attack within a week seeing that I would have to face him every working day.

“Right,” he nodded. I could sense the amused tone of his voice, like he was mocking me. “Come on in, Hana,” he said.

I marched straight towards his desk and crossed my arms, trying my best to look unperturbed by his presence. He closed the door behind me and made his way to his side of the desk. He sat down on his plush chair and gestured for me to sit on the vacant chair opposite him. I immediately sat down and clasped my hands tightly on my lap. When our eyes met, I just could not handle it so I had to drop my gaze to look at my hands. I could feel my heart thumping loudly and I clasped my hands even tighter.

This is nerve wrecking to say the least.

What do you say to your first love whom used to be your best friend? To someone whom you thought you had forgotten but never could? Someone whom you did not even contact for the past 10 years?

What could I probably talk to him about?

“Hana,” Sehun started to say, “just so you know, this is awkward for me too. I didn’t expect to meet you here after all these years.”

There was something in his eyes from the way he looked at me but I did not know what it was. Was it anger? He could not have resented me for cutting off contact now, could he? I mean, what was I supposed to do when he made it clear that he can never like me—that I was only his best friend? I could never get back to the way we were. It was just impossible.

“Don’t-don’t get me wrong,” he continued, “it was a nice surprise. I’ve missed you, Hana. You were my best friend but you left without even saying goodbye so I resented you for a bit.” He let out a soft chuckle. “It was funny. When I first was accepted into university, the first person I thought about to share the news with was you so I ran all the way to your old house. I didn’t even remember that you have left. I only realized it once I got there. I guess it had become a habit. We used to tell each other everything.”

I blinked. So he was angry at me for leaving. I did not know that it would affect him so much.

Sehun was looking at me expectantly so I figured he wanted to hear my explanation. Well how could I explain it without letting him know how I used to feel for him back then? I wrecked my brain, trying to look hard for a reply witty enough to explain about me cutting off our ties.

“I’m sorry, Sehun,” I said, trying to look as earnest as I could, “I was never good with goodbyes.”

There.  I thought that it was a pretty decent explanation. Apparently, Sehun did not agree.

“But why didn’t you call?” he probed, “Why didn’t you contact me?”

I gulped. “I forgot your number,” I replied trying to look as earnest as I could, as though I was telling the truth.

Of course I could never tell him how I had nearly called him every night in the first few months that I had moved--that I had to stop myself because I thought it would look pathetic. I could never tell him how much I had missed him to the point that I felt like I was going to be depressed as the time passed by.

Sehun looked like he did not believe me but he did not dwell on the matter further. “Okay,” he said instead, “enough of the past. It’s the past anyways. Let’s not ponder on it too much.” It sounded as though he was trying to tell that to himself rather than to me. I watched how he inhaled and exhaled deeply as though calming himself before asking me the dreaded question, “So how are you? Are you married?”

Married?  How can I be married when I had not even dated? Of course I could never tell him that. Instead, I tried to look cool by smiling and shaking my head.

It might be my imagination but Sehun looked relieved by that.

“So you’re not married. I would be so mad if you didn’t invite me to your wedding,” he smiled, “Do you have a boyfriend?”

Again I was ashamed to shake my head no. It was as though I was telling him that I was not sociable—that no man had wanted to pursue me. It was actually the truth but it was embarrassing to own up to that fact.

“What about you?” I mustered up the courage to ask him that. I did not know why I was even praying in my heart that he was not married. I would not know how to react if he told me that he was married.

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter