Chapter 15 – I do care

Mina

One look at Alice and I could tell something wasn’t right but that side of things in her life wasn’t something I pried into.

“So does this mean things between you and him are all worked out now? For some reason I hear a ‘but’ there.”

I had brought up what happened between me and Jungkook the evening before in hopes of distracting her and it seems to have worked to some extent. At least she wasn’t staring in to space like she was before. Alice was right though, things weren’t that simple. What happened can’t be undone or forgotten that easily, even if somehow we miraculously managed to salvage our friendship, there would always be this scar in the background. But that wasn’t what I wanted, a friendship would be too painful with the way I loved him, a relationship would be too impossible with the way we were and how he felt. That left me with nothing at all. Distance between us seemed the better choice.

“Why can’t either of us catch a break?” Alice sighed and it was so out of character for her that I gave her a worried look. “This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have sent you to Jungkook.”

“Alice.” I was shocked to see her cry. She pulled me close for a hug and her arms tightened around me. I could feel the way she was shaking. God! I felt my own tears gather up but I held back knowing one of us had to be strong. Between me and Alice it was usually her who was the stronger one, always comforting me. I wanted to ask so bad what could have happened to make her act like this but I knew she would hate it even more.

“I hope you gave him hell.” I whispered into her hair instead.

“Oh trust me Mina, he’s not the kind that would take any from anyone. He’s like the devil.” My grip tightened in horror at what she had to put up with some nights.

“If you ever want to talk, you know I’m here for you.” She didn’t accept my offer, just remaining silent. “Did he hurt you?” I pried, not able to let it go. I’ve never seen her this broken and down over something before. She didn’t answer that either, I could only assume that’s a yes. I clenched my eyes, trying not to give into the desperate need to cry.

I don’t know how long we stayed like that but when she finally pulled away she was her usual composed self.

“Let get to class or we are going to be late.” And just like that she brushed it off but my worry for her wasn’t so easy to get rid of.

After our lectures I caught a bus to Big Hit building and wasn’t as anxious as I was the past few days. I knew Jungkook was having a rest day imposed on him because of his ankle so I had noting to worry about.

“Hey Mina.”

I looked around and saw Jimin and V standing outside in the hallway.

“Hey V, Jimin.” I smiled and waved to them but didn’t stop. I was on my way to collecting my list of duties and I couldn’t be late. Besides I had no place interacting with them anyways. I still couldn’t get over seeing them so casually around in the building. Jimin looked his usual bright self, albeit sweaty, which as a fan I can appreciate only added onto his looks. V on the other hand looked like he’s in the middle of experimenting what it’s like to either go a week without sleep or decided to go on weeklong binge.

“Wait up.” Jimin yelled down the hallway, I turned around but didn’t stop walking. “Jungkook asked you to come baby sit him.”

That got me to a stop. Um say what? “I can’t, I have work here.” I almost sighed with relief for the excuse I had.

“Not anymore you don’t.” Jimin shrugged with a grin, walking towards me while V grunted staring me down like he had a bone to pick with me. I had to accept that they made for a one damn good sight walking down the narrow hallway towards me like that. I was almost tempted to back away because it felt like I was about to be mowed down right where I was standing.

“I can’t just leave work to go see him when I haven’t even started work yet.” The exasperation I felt was clear in my tone. Things didn’t work like that for us normal people. I was smart enough to keep that last bit to myself. I didn’t need to go around offending everyone unnecessarily.

“That’s your work for the day, baby sitting him.” He shrugged.

“What?” I asked backing up in confusion and surprise.

“Jungkook’s a nightmare because the staff is keeping him stranded at home and he’s bored out of his mind.” He gave me a look as if he expected me to get the meaning of that, well news to him, I didn’t know where this was going. “Apparently if he’s to remain home, he wants some company.” Another shrug. I frowned at the meaning of those words.  

“Surely you don’t mean that just because he asked, I’m being sent there to baby sit him? You’ve gotta be kidding me. Who is going to be doing my work?” I just couldn’t comprehend the pull Jungkook had on what seems to be the whole freaking world.

“I’m not exactly sure what happened to your work but what our baby want’s, our baby gets.” Jimin laughed and V joined him shaking his head, finally seeming to have brushed off the dark cloud that was hanging over him. “There’s a car waiting for you.”

I nodded before leaving to see my supervisor. I wouldn’t put it past those two cheeky bastards to be pulling another disastrous prank on me. I don’t think a company would be reshuffling their staff just to keep one guy happy.

Well, turns out this company did.

“We’ve got a temp covering your duties this evening.” The boss lady really didn’t have a good look to her expression. Her opinion of me was going lower and lower by the day and it wasn’t even my fault.

“I had nothing to do with this.” I confessed in hopes of defending myself at least a little.

She sighed and looked at me for a good few seconds. I was tempted to shuffle my feet with how uncomfortable I felt under her scrutiny. “I know how things work Mina, you don’t have to defend yourself but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re being picked by Jungkook and we both know what he’s after. I have two daughters you’re age and this isn’t what I would want for them, that’s for sure.”

I wasn’t sure whether she was giving me motherly advice or mocking me for my lack of future prospects. “Beggars can’t be choosers unfortunately. It’s something you realize when you hit rick bottom Mrs Kim.” I shrugged, that would cover either scenario. “I’ll come back as usual tomorrow then.” I said, paying my respects as she left.

I made my way out of the building looking for the car waiting. So much for putting distance between me and Jungkook. Guess I will have to play the good friend role for him until he got bored with it and moved on. I’m sure he was giving me this much attention and was this adamant about spending time with me because of the novelty of meeting an old best friend but he’s bound to be dragged back away to his life of rich and fame sooner or later. I’ll just have to keep myself together until then.

I watched as the car entered a neighborhood screaming money.

“Miss we are here.” The driver looked back at me.

“Please call me Mina. Thank you.” I greeted before getting out.

Standing in front of the gated entrance to the apartment building being scrutinized by security because I didn’t look the type to be able to afford a place here was embarrassing to say the least.  I didn’t even know his apartment number and I was sure just saying that I was here to see Jungkook was bound to get me sent to jail for trespassing. I was contemplating how to get past when I heard someone speak over my shoulder.

“She’s cleared to go up to the penthouse apartment.”

I looked behind me and gave the guy standing there a puzzling look. He seemed not much older than me.

“I drove you here.” He smiled.

“Oh! I’m sorry I was –”

“Distracted?” He laughed. “Clearly.” He nodded me towards the entrance.

“Thank you.” I said once again before leaving past security.

As the elevator took me up, I wondered whether this was just Jungkook’s place or whether they lived together like the public thought they were. One of the guys from security came with me on the elevator and when it stopped on the highest floor, he closed the door again. I gave him a confused frown but then he swiped a card and entered a passcode that restarted the elevator, which climbed even higher before stopping.

“Who is this?” A voice greeted us through the speakers.

“Sir I’ve got someone called Mina here.” The guy spoke up. The security seemed a little over the top but I guess when you were BTS you kind of needed that.

Finally we were buzzed in and the elevator opened straight into the apartment on the top floor. Wow so the whole top floor was theirs. Well that answered one question along with the fact that RM was the one who buzzed us in. The guys really did live together.

The security guy didn’t even get out of the elevator leaving me to get out by myself.

RM was there to show me in. His face had a neutral expression that told me nothing about whether he wanted me here or not.

“Jungkook’s passed out on the living room couch.” That was all he said before leaving me to it. Um would have been nice to know where the damn living room was but I guess that was all the help RM was willing to give. The place was big enough to get lost in and I wasn’t surprised, what with all seven of them living here.

“Jungkook?” I called out a few times, hoping to get a response as I moved past rooms and hallways but got nothing.  Finally after a good few minutes I reached a dead end and had to retrace my steps and noticed a couch from behind, not too far from the elevator entrance. I went around and sure enough there he was, asleep while the TV was on mute.

“Jungkook?” I called out softly to see whether he would wake up but he didn’t. Well now what? I moved closer, crouching to get even more closer. “Hey, you made such a fuss to get me here but now see how you are.” The smile that stretched across my face was almost involuntary. I should be mad but seeing him there, cuddling a cushion, he looked too damn cute to be angry at. He looked so much younger like this, closer to his actual age, rather than the icon girls drooled over. My eyes ran over him, pausing on the flash of skin above his jeans with how his shirt was bunched up around his upper body. I forced my eyes away, knowing I had no right to look when he was asleep and defenseless like this. His foot was still in a stappy ankle cast. At least he wasn’t faking his injury which didn’t necessarily make things any better.

I couldn’t resist the temptation to run my fingers through his hair but froze holding my breath when he moaned and started moving. He opened his eyes and looked right at me. My heart skipped a beat before racing away at the way he grinned, his expression still looking very sleepy. I was pretty sure he probably thought this to be a dream because he lifted his head and made space for me. “Your lap.” He muttered. He didn’t even have to elaborate because I knew exactly what he meant. Worrying that he will actually wake up I was quick to put myself on the couch and he didn’t think twice before making himself comfortable on my lap.

“Are you awake?” I whispered, just checking but got no response. Guess he fell straight back into sleep and I didn’t need any reminders about how much of a deep sleeper he was, there was no waking him up unless he wanted to wake up. My hands had a mind of their own when they made right at home in his hair. In the quite yet oddly peaceful moment my mind flashed back to the times I’ve done this before in the past and I felt the nostalgia. I really needed a wake up call to stop me living in the past. This wasn’t Kookie. The guys lying here now had all the riches and power he wanted in his palm and was famous enough to cause a riot in public. Something I constantly had to remind myself. My heart ached at the way he was so close yet so far away from me. I didn’t even know I was crying until a tear dropped on his cheek. I ran my hand over his cheek wiping it away. What was I doing here? I felt like such a fake. I needed to leave while he was still asleep, I’d have to deal with the consequences of my job later but I couldn’t survive the heartache I felt right now.

I made to move his head off me but was startled when someone yelled. “Jungkook!”

My eyes snapped up meeting RM’s. He was standing not too far, watching us. I ducked down to wipe my tears away but knew he couldn’t have missed them.

“It’s okay I should get going anyway.” I muttered, trying to get up but RM walked closer shaking Jungkook up.

“Get up you brat.” RM pulled him to sit on the couch but Jungkook slept right through it all. “Mina’s about to leave because you’re asleep. You wanted her here remember?” Finally that managed to get a groan out of him.

“Mina can’t go.” He muttered.

“Then wake up.” RM shook him and finally he opened his eyes, his sleepy expression turning into a frown when he looked at me.

“Why are you crying?” He asked confused, the sleep fading from his eyes.

“I’m not, must be because I woke up early for lectures.” I shrugged, lying through my teeth, hoping RM wouldn’t call me out on it. Thankfully he walked out leaving the two of us alone once again.

“Why did you call me here Jungkook?” I got straight to the point.

“I just wanted to hang out.” He smiled. His tone made it sound like he was stating the obvious but things weren’t that simple. My expression must have changed to give my thoughts away because his smile fell to be replaced with a guarded look. I hated to see that look on his face because of me but we both couldn’t change the reality of how things were. “Are we not friends anymore?” He asked hesitantly.

“Jungkook, you’re an idol now and me, I’m a nobody now, a struggling student at best.” I tried to explain but he cut me off when he shot up out of the couch.

“Wow!” He exclaimed. “You really want to go there? I can’t ing believe this.” He glared down at me, standing over me looking furious.

“It’s for you’re best.” I started only to be cut off by him again.

“It’s for my best? I can damn well decide that for myself Mina.” There was a long pause between us again before he broke off into a string of curses. He griped my arms pulling me up to stand facing him, his expression still radiating fury. “You know what I had when I first met you? Nothing, even less than what you have now and there you were, the pretty princess who decided that I was going to be her best friend and never took no for an answer. Did you see me throwing our difference in status back then in your face like this?” He was almost growling in his anger.

“We were kids Jungkook.”

“We were old enough. You think that I didn’t know you brought extra food so I wouldn’t go hungry? That you made up ridiculous bets and purposefully lost so you could buy me everything I could ever need? That you were cold to everyone else because they wouldn’t accept me as their friend too? That you pretended to like the things I liked even when you hated it just so you could share them with me? You want me to keep going? Because I can talk about this for days. I would have ended up in a ditch somewhere, either starving or beaten to death in the street if it wasn’t for you and you seriously expect me to what? Treat like I don’t ing care about you. That when the tables have turned like this, you expect me to turn a blind eye and walk away? What kind of person do you think I am?”

I stared at him, his words hitting me hard. In my haste to hold on to my pride with him I never realized what I was actually doing to him. I had never wanted him to see me like this, what my life had turned out to be when his in turn was so successful but in doing so, I was unintentionally hurting him. I just never realized he cared this much. I’ve been through so much in the last few years and my outlook on life was so jaded that I expected him to have forgotten all that. His friendship had meant the world to me but I guess I didn’t have enough confidence to believe that he felt the same way.

I felt weak in the knees at the realization and sat back down on the couch.

We both startled at the sound of glass shattering and looked around to see the rest of the guys all standing there looking at us with looks filled with a mixture of shock and guilt, just about ready to bolt out of there. In fact the glass at their feet looked to be a vase that seemed to have fallen over while they were trying to do just that.

A/N: Finally managed to get out another update. Hope you guys are having a good break.

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