The person that Seulgi gave her heart to is Wendy but she knows that Wendy’s heart belongs to someone else.

And jealousy consumes her.

To know that this person knew Wendy before her. To see that Wendy conversed so responsively when it had taken Seulgi months to get the girl to drop the formality.

“Wendy-ah. Did you get a chance to read that book I recommended?”

“Of course, unnie!” Seugnwan eyes lit up like a flashlight with newly installed battery. Their conversation tight and exclusive, leaving no room for Seulgi to join. And all she can do is smile awkwardly at the conversation and she took the opportunity to sketch Wendy’s every smiles in her mind. Because rarely does she smile this enthusiastically.

Only when the girl had round the corner that Wendy’s attention returns to her. Seulgi smiled brightly thinking that it is just the two of them again. But it was never just the two of them. That person is always there. In Wendy’s heart.

And when she left, it is like she had taken the battery along with her. Wendy’s eyes dimmed to a dull and her smile faltered to friendly. A reminder that that’s all Seulgi is. A friend.

--

The sounds that Seulgi looks out for is Wendy’s but she knows that Wendy has ears tuned to only one voice.

 And she yells inwardly for Wendy to notice her.

But Wendy never did. Because she would always stop talking every time that girl was near and listened attentively to the soft laughter that no one would even notice in this loud and chaotic cafeteria. But Wendy did. She always does.

Only when she disappeared among the crowd that Seulgi knew Wendy can hear her again. With her again. She tried to bring the conversation back to them. Pretend that it is just the two of them again. But Wendy’s mind had already left along with the girl.

"Yum! Your mom has really outdone herself this time!"

And all Wendy did was smile at Seulgi’s compliment half-heartedly like her half-hearted reply earlier.

If only Wendy would just listen. Then she would hear more than just a compliment. Then she can hear the beating of Seulgi’s heart along with her loud confession. If only Wendy would just listen. 

--

The first person that Seulgi sees is always Wendy but she knows that Wendy has eyes for only one person.

But she continues to look longingly, hoping for Wendy to returns her gaze.

Wendy’s affections, however, is reserved for only one girl.  And every time Seulgi follows Wendy’s line of vision, that person is always at the receiving end. Seulgi is nowhere near. Seulgi is nowhere in sight.

The day that she won her match, Seulgi beamed at her love for the strength and cheers that she received only to find Wendy looking at an empty spot where that girl once was. Seulgi mirrored that fall-crescent smile that Wendy faked. Not even bothering to hide her disappointment.

Wan-ah. Do you not see me at all? Am I invisible to you whenever she’s around?

Seulgi looked everywhere but the girl beside her as they walk home side-by-side. She will never let Wendy see the tears in her eyes. She will never let Wendy hear the sobs in her voice. She will not. But it’s not like Wendy pays attention anyway.

--

The first person that Seulgi thinks about is Wendy but she knows that Wendy’s mind is filled with someone else.

But she has never thought about giving up. Not unless Wendy leaves her first.

Seulgi waited quietly for her best friend to show up. It is routine. It is habit. It is their promise to always walk home together. It is the only time that Seulgi can call theirs.

Practice had ended earlier than usual. Seulgi decided to surprise Wendy with her favorite drink from the vending machine. Jokes on her because what she returned to is a message that Wendy had left already. Left without her.

She stayed rooted to her spot. Their spot. Hoping that Wendy will come back for her. She waited for an eternity. She waited till the sun goes down. She waited till reality settles.

But Wendy already left. Wendy left her to walk home with her crush.  

Seulgi walked home that day with nothing but her own shadow beside her and a tattered heart.

--

The person that Seulgi wants to confess to is Wendy but she knows that the person Wendy loves is someone else.

But she wants to give them a chance. Even if it means losing her best friend.

“Wan-ah. I-I’m in love with someone.” Seulgi paused for Wendy’s reaction. “I’ve known her for a while now. She’s smart, kind, and the most beautiful person in my heart. But…I’m not sure if she feels the same way.” Seulgi stared at her best friend hoping to convey the message. Wan-ah. I’m in love with you.

But Wendy never gave her the chance to continue. "You should confess to her!" her voice was like a bucket of ice-cold water splashing over Seulgi’s head. She sounded so excited and encouraging that any courage was smothered at the tip of Seulgi’s tongue.

Wendy didn’t want to hear her confession. She didn’t want to have to reject her directly. She doesn’t love Seulgi the way Seulgi loves her.  

Seulgi pulled her into a tight embrace. A hug that was filled with all the love and emotions she has for the girl. But Wendy pushed her away ever so slightly. Enough to get her message across though.

And if that push didn’t, then the way Wendy rushed out the door did. Seulgi just got rejected. She knew she would but it doesn’t lessen the pain to know that she had lost both her love and her best friend all in one day.

She slumped to the floor and buried her face in her palms as tears streak down her cheeks. One-sided love is too tiring.

--

Seulgi wakes up to her own ringtone in the middle of the night. Emotionally drained from all the tears.

“Joohyun-unnie.” Just when she thought she had no more tears left, her voice cracks at the gentle reply on the other side of the line. The consoling sound of a worried unnie encourages her to spill out years of emotions and confessions that she kept hidden. Confessions that she was not able to deliver earlier.  

“Pabo! Both you and Wendy are idiots who are oblivious to each other’s feelings!” Instead of comforts and sympathies, Seulgi is surprised to be yelled at. 

Seulgi is left to ponder what she did wrong when all she hears is the beep beep sound of a dead line.

A/N: Just gonna drop part two of this story before I get any more tears from people who read part 1. I did say it was kinda sad. Kinda only right?

Ah. I should clarify. I didn't write this as a continuation to chpt1 but if u read it as such...no wonder it hurts. Sorry.