[CONTENTID1] asphyxia [/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2] drop 3: his world in glass [/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3] 
 

Throughout the boundary I set for people, Soojung managed to slip in, a senior of mine by 2 years who is also a member of the swimming club. She is the second ace of our school’s team, next to Nayoung. Occasionally, I asked her to help me practice after club. Today includes those session also. I try to be normal around her after the things I have witnessed a few days ago.

“Have you ever fallen in love, Sooyoung?” She is sitting in her swimsuit, coloured in pale blue. Mine is of soft orange. Floating by the side of the pool, I prop my chin on my arm to the floor beside her, legs all collected to her chest.

This senior of mine is one of the people I find unique in my entire life. She is beautiful and charming, almost prince-like even, with the way she carries herself and her dazzling aura that is irresistible for people. Yet, in some ways, she is also dreamy. That kind of side, is what wins her people’s admiration. People are attracted to those who think outside of this reality after all, including me.

I can only look up to her in silence, who is staring ahead to the stillness of the pool’s current, waving occasionally against my movements. “I don’t think so,” Jisoo never felt like love to me. Such a heavy word to be thrown around. “Have you?”

“I think I currently am,” a lovesick sigh escapes from her lips, a rush of rouge colours her cheeks.

“How does it feel like?" I ponder, the heat on her face doesn't subside. "Do you really feel butterflies in your stomach?"

"To be honest, I still don't understand that metaphor. But even when s-he's not around me, I can feel her all around me," an eyebrow of mine rises unconsciously at her hiding the nouns of her gender. She must have not told anyone. "And I always feel so liberated around him, it's such a new feeling."

"But now, I'm afraid that I am about to graduate," she sighs and her face falls, all the blush and rouge is no longer there. "He's an underclassman, and I feel like I have to break up with him." Placing her face in her palm, I am afraid if she'll break down. It’s still unimaginable, how someone as brilliant as her can have such insecurities. She is that kind of person to me, the kind of person you can’t imagine to have flaws.

I hold on to her ankle, hoping this can be some kind of support, showing that I am here to listen. "Why would you do that? You guys haven't tried doing it for real, right?"

A heavier sigh loops out again, her hand now on her kneecaps. "I know, but I'm just so worried," she is holding all the terrible things on her face, all scrunched and folded up like that. "And even I thought this relationship of ours is like a phase that will pass."

"Well, since we are in high school, I guess you can say it's a phase. We still have a long way to go," I trail on my word, thinking deeply of words of advice I can give, swimming inside the crevices of my mind. "You"'ll never know how life turns out, Soojung. So, just do things that will make you happy. Things will fall on their own pace by themselves, don't be too worried."

Pausing, now I look into her eyes, searching for any attention that she spares for me. "No matter how your relationship will turn out, at least be sure to do your best, so you won't have anything to regret."

Gazing back at me, she looks at my eyes for a while, her face calm and more composed as if she has found another piece of her puzzle. A warm smile breaks out of her. "You don't sound like a 9th grader at all."

Chuckling, I switch position, now floating on water above my back. "I heard that a lot."

1 hour later, Soojung left as she is supposed to meet her "boyfriend". I have the pool all for myself again and there I go, practicing as if I belong to the water, more than to the land. In the water, I can let myself float with no parachutes, I can feel safe even in something I can't hold on to.

"Still here?" Eunwoo's wondrous voice echoes and I thought I was dreaming. On days like these, he should be jamming with his bandmates on his club room, strumming music and feelings all throughout our school.

"You know me," I reply back, staring at him with my googles on. "Shouldn't you be practicing?"

"I don't feel like it today," Taking a seat on one of the bleachers near the pool, he slips out off his bagpack. "I thought you'd be here."

Even smiling like that, I can tell how he is in a bad mood. He wouldn’t exit the club room unless he is absolutely in no mood for it. "You want to come in?" Because it will be easier to talk if we swim together, it'll be able to refresh him also.

But he shakes his head instead, his smile looks forceful. "I prefer watching you swim, instead."

After 5 to 6 laps of swimming back and forth, I emerge from the water, now noticing him staring off into the empty pool in a trance. He probably didn't notice me coming out of it. It worries me whenever he becomes like this. He is the most composed and collected amongst the three of us for most occasions, the logical one when we lose our sanity over some troubles we cause, the one whose parents trust their children with.

Even after I finished  taking a shower and drying my hair, I walk into him still in that position, hands on his side, clenching and unclenching, his hair falling over his eyes. Putting my training bag beside him, he doesn’t even flinch.

“Eunwoo, are you okay?” Calling him, even as I stand in front of him to cover his view, he doesn’t move. On a closer look, his eyes look so dark and lost.

Putting my hand over his cheek, he jolts under my touch. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Shaking his head and pinching the edge of his nosebridge, he blinks his eyes repetitively. “I can never get used to this. I’m seeing them again.” He wraps his arms around me then, pulling me close, hiding from the world in my embrace. So much frustration is shown in his voice, I can feel him ho