i don't know where will i go with this fic. 

and it's not proofread.

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Hakyeon decide that run away is not going to help anyone. So after a phone call with Wonshik, which is he heard wonshik call Jaehwan, he come back into his house to his mother’s delight. But her face fall when she saw the look on his son’s face. Hakyeon doesn’t even know when he starts crying. He cry harder when his mother hug him and ask him what happened. Hakyeon want to tell her but at the same time he doesn’t.

He doesn’t want to disappoint her or anyone but he is so miserable that cornered him into a difficult situation. It’s only him who can make a decision. Wonshik won’t do anything to save his own damn love for god’s sake. He is too good of a son to break his parents’ happiness to care about his own. So it left Hakyeon to be a bad guy in this drama.

“What happened? Why are you crying, baby?” She pat his head lovingly and comfort him like a good mother she always is. “It can’t be because I forbid you to go to Japan, right?” She know it isn’t but she probably want to lighten the mood.

Hakyeon cry harder at this and hug his mother back tightly muttering I’m sorry over and over again. What should he said to make it easier? To make their parent understand or maybe the one that Hakyeon want to know about what to do is how to make his heart hurt less? His parents will understand at some point, not immediately but they will. He knows. Wonshik parent will too. But what will Hakyeon do to his heart? What will Hakyeon do to mend his broken heart?

“It’s okay… It’s okay sweetie” His mother kiss his cheek and wipe he tears away gently, “You can tell mom anything,”

Hakyeon kiss his mother palm and take a deep breath, “I don’t want to get married, mom. I don’t want to marry Wonshik.”Hakyeon hope he doesn’t have to see disappointment on his mother’s face because it make him more miserable than he already is.

“Why?”She is genuinely curious and concern, “I thought you and Wonshik happy about this. Why not tell us sooner.”

“I don’t want to disappoint you and father, but I’m sorry I really can’t do this mom. Please…”

“Oh, Hakyeon-ah… why are you being like this?’ She look at him with sad eyes, “Are you not happy with Wonshik?”She ask, she know his son is in love or at least have a good feeling about Wonshik so she doesn’t quite understand why Hakyeon refused like this.

So Hakyeon’s crying some more.

“Someone’s happiness will be sacrificed if I hold onto my happiness, mom. I’m sorry I have to destroy your happiness too, but you will understand, right?” Hakyeon smile despite his tears, pleading his mom would say yes even if it’s a lie. “Hm?”

“Stop crying,” She wipe his tears again, “Your eyes will look puffy and ugly, and none of my son is allowed to be ugly,” She smile, Hakyeon know then that despite her disappointment, she understand, she always will. So, Hakyeon can’t do nothing but hug her and thank her many times.

After some more tears and a cup of tea latter, the pair of mother and son sit beside each other in their patio and the younger one has his head on his mother’s shoulder while his hand being held by her delicate hand.

“I was there when Lee Jaehwan had been brought home by Wonshik, the same day that Wonshik’s mom suggest this idea of marriage to me. He is hoping that his parents could accept and love that boy as they love their own son. But Wonshik overestimate his parents.” She tell her son the event she once witness about Lee Jaehwan after Hakyeon tell her everything. “They didn’t even give the boy the chance to introduce himself. They reject him immediately after Wonshik let the word boyfriend out of his mouth,”

Hakyeon’s breaths hitch, feeling bad for Jaehwan even if it’s not him who did that, but he is the reason more or less. Hakyeon can imagine how Jaehwan would feel that day. It must broke his heart and it will be so painful to be rejected like that by the parents of his lover. He imagines Wonshik being angry and sad at the same time can’t do anything about that.

“Wonshik never told me anything about Jaehwan so I don’t have any idea, maybe if he told me I can stop this unnecessary drama,”

“I think even if you know, this proposal of marriage will still going on because that’s what your father and his father always want,” She smile while kiss his son’s head. She feel bad about his son. He pity his son that his first love would end up like this. “I’m sorry too I can’t protect you, son.”

Hakyeon lifts his head and look at her. “About my broken heart, that’s on me, mom. Because it’s my own fault that I feel for that idiot,”

He tries to smile so his mother will smile too, and she did.

“What will we do about Father, then?” His father is always difficult to talk to, so Hakyeon is worried.

“That’s for me to worry about,” She cup her son’s face and look into his eyes lovingly but also sadly, “My precious baby is grown up so much,” She caress his cheek, “Mom proud of you. I hope that someday your heart will be healed and you can found someone who love you like you are his world and you love that person equally too.” She kiss his eyes hoping that it will be the last time his son cried.

Hakyeon smile and hug his mother again. “Thank you mom…’

But it too good to be true after all.

It’s raining heavily when Wonshik call Hakyeon to his apartment. It’s been raining since morning but that night it downpour with a little thunder and it’s windy too. Hakyeon was in Taekwoon’s, receiving a lecture about his –according to Taekwoon- suicide decision, when he receive a call from Wonshik and Hakyeon feel the dreed. Hakyeon doesn’t even know why Wonshik want him to come when he knows it’s raining cats and dogs, but Hakyeon doesn’t have a good feeling about it.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Taekwoon sense his anxiety, offer.

Hakyeon blink and stare at his bestfriend. “I don’t wanna go…”

Taekwoon sigh and gather his friend in his arm. “Hakyeon, I really want you to try and talk to Wonshik about your feeling. That way, even though he doesn’t share the same feeling with you but it will make you better. You won’t feel the burden of bearing this unrequired love secretly anymore.”

Hakyeon bit his lips, afraid that he said something useless, or maybe he doesn’t know what to say. Taekwoon is right but not easy to be done. To bear your heart open in front of your bestfriend and possibly soon-to-be husband who doesn’t love you is frightening. Can’t he just end this the way he want without put Wonshik in an awkward situation? Because if Wonshik know about his feeling it will be a hell lot awkward and painful for him too.

“I have to go,”Hakyeon pull away from Taekwoon’s warm embrace and gather his phone and bag. “Save your wise word about my stupidity when I comeback.”Hakyeon give him smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

“I’ll be waiting,”Taekwoon say, Hakyeon feel there’s another meaning to that, more than just waiting Hakyeon come back from, probably, doing stupid things again. “You know I’ll always be waiting for you,”

Taekwoon give Hakyeon his coat because Hakyeon is stupid to forget his when he came here. Hakyeon say a quite thank you and put it on. Just before his close the door, he turns to Taekwoon, “Yah, if I called you and told you I need a rescue, will you come?”

Seeing the look on Hakyeon’s face, Taekwoon smile that sweet yet sad smile of his, “I’ll run to you.”

With that Hakyeon go to Wonshik with a lighter heart, not much, but enough to make him stop the trembling of his hands. Knowing that he has a backup, a support that he needs. Someone who will rescue Hakyeon from all the heartbreak and misery he will surely get. It will not easy and fast but it will do. They will work it out.

Despite of telling Taekwoon that he can face Wonshik alone, Hakyeon is chickening out now. Hakyeon is staring at the pair of shoes that not Wonshik’s and not step any further into the house. He is been staring at that pair of shoes ever since he notice it when Wonshik open the door. Lee Jaehwan is here. What is it that Wonshik want to tell him about? What is Lee Jaehwan doing here? Okay, Lee Jaehwan is Wonshik’s boyfriend officially but… why is he here?

“Hakyeon?” Wonshik called Hakyeon because the latter seems out of it. “Are you okay?”

What is Lee Jaehwan doing here in Wonshik’s apartment? Alone with Wonshik? For God’s sake Hakyeon, Lee Jaehwan is Wonshik’s boyfriend! He has any right to be here, more than you will ever have.

Suddenly Hakyeon want to turn around and run out of here. Probably into the rain and crying his heart out. But he need to resolve this right?

“Is Jaehwan here?”He ask Wonshik and look at him. He can see Wonshik’s shocked face and smile.

He takes of his shoes and step into the house and there he is, Lee Jaehwan, in Wonshik’s couch, he stand up when he sees Hakyeon and bow with worried face.

Oh Cha Hakyeon, why are you doing this to them?

Hakyeon smile, go to Jaehwan and to the lovers surprised give Jaehwan a hug. Jaehwan look at his boyfriend, as if asking what happened, and the latter’s answer is a shrug and a smile. Jaehwan hesitate and hug Hakeyon back.

“H-Hakyeon-ssi?”

“It’s Hakyeon.”

“What?”

“Hakyeon. Call me Hakyeon. Let’s be a friend.”

Hakyeon doesn’t know what is he trying to accomplished when he hug Jaehwan so suddenly, but Hakyeon want to know why is Wonshik in love with this man. Or maybe he just want to apologize, something he can’t say out loud.

“Y-yeah… Let’s be friend. Hakyeon-ah.”

Lee Jaehwan think, “Ah, this man is too precious to hurt”

Cha Hakyeon think, “Ah, I’m ready to give up for this man.”

Kim Wonshik can’t do anything but watch the two of most important people in his life hugging each other and be friend.

And Kim Wonshik think, “Everything will be okay. Hakyeon will understand.”

Hakyeon is busy make himself a cup of tea when Wonshik enter the kitchen and draped his muscular and heavy arm around his shoulder. “Make a cup for me too,”

Hakyeon snort. “It’s your house and I’m the one who have to serve you tea?” He make another cup of tea anyway, “Where’s Jaehwan?”

“Shower.” Hakyeon. Wonshik smile and caress Hakyeon cheek. “Pretty and precious Hakyeon,”

“You should stop calling me that now,” have mercy on me Wonshik-ah, “Jaehwan will get jealous.”

“He won’t” Wonshik give a light pinch on the precious one, “I’m still bitter about you didn’t tell me sooner that you already know about me and Jaehwan. You make me a really bad guy here.”

Hakyeon take a sip of his tea. It’s still hot, burn his tongue but it’s fine. He needs distraction. Wonshik probably notice he wince a little and warn him to be careful. You are really bad Wonshik-ah.

“Why do you never tell me about Jaehwan?”

“I thought it’s not really necessary since you are far away and I plan to introduce you two when you come back, but things happened and I can’t bring myself to tell you.”

“Until tonight.”

“Until tonight.”Wonshik agree.

“What change your mind though?”Hakyeon put the cup down because he is afraid he will drop it. “Why are you telling me now? Can’t bear the thought of marrying me and leaving Jaehwan alone?”

Wonshik didn’t answer immediately, he just stare at Hakyeon. He didn’t know what he is looking for at the expression Hakyeon wear. He just pray that he is not ed up.

“Hakyeon, you are not… right?”

Hakyeon know what he means. “No.”He answer, trying to sound firm and pretend that it’s ridiculous. “No, Wonshik. I’m not in love with you.”Hakyeon chuckled. “I only agree to the marriage just because it easier to have an arranged married with someone I know that some stranger.”

Wonshik sigh in relief and nod. “I can’t drag it any longer to hide it from you and your parents.”Wonshik finally said, “My parents probably will not surprise if I were to bring Jaehwan home again.”

“If you were to?”Hakyeon ask and hope Wonshik didn’t notice that he not asking about the “again” part. He didn’t tell Wonshik about his conversation with his mom after all. “Are you not going to bring him home? Not gonna tell your parents that you will marry him?”

“They love you Hakyeon,”

“Oh Wonshik,”Hakyeon throw his arm in the air feeling frustrated already, “You can’t possibly keep hiding and using me as your excuse. It’s not fair. Not for me and certainly not for Jaehwan.”

“I know. But I’m afraid what will they do to Jaehwan if I’m against them.”

“And what’s the point of telling me then? Are you trying to still marrying me and keep Jaehwan around and hope I can understand?”Hakyeon look at Wonshik with disbelieve.

Wonshik shake his head and rub his face. “God no Hakyeon. Nothing like that.” He takes a deep breath. “I just need time to think how to tell them.”

“I’ll help you, Wonshik-ah. We can’t wait any longer, they are preparing our wedding and it’s better to tell them now before it’s too late.”Hakyeon cup Wonshik’s face and make him look at him. “Listen, your parents is a good person. They are going to understand if not now then latter. They will eventually. You are their only son. They will do anything for your happiness and it’s not like they will lose me.”

Wonshik just stare at Hakyeon for a while and then take the shorter male’s hand into his hand.

“Do you remember when I asked you whether I can make you happy or not?”Hakyeon nod, “Now I know the answer.”Wonshik bring Hakyeon to his embrace. “I can’t make you happy and I probably never will. Because it’s always you that make me happy.”

Hakyeon try so hard not to cry but his tears still fall anyway.

“Idiot. Of course you can make me happy. I’m happy now.”

And he can’t help but to hug the taller male tightly and cry. He will tell wonshik that he cry out of happiness latter. Now he just want to cry in this man arms, very probably for the last time.

Without them knowing, Jaehwan watch them from the doorway and he cover his mouth as he shed tears too.

Lie. You won’t be crying if you are happy, Hakyeon-ah? We don’t deserve you.

The two who hug each other pull away when Hakyeon’s phone ringing. Wonshik wipe Hakyeon’s tears and pat his head while mouthing crybaby to him.

Hakyeon answer the phone, “Taekwoon-ah…’

Hakyeon smile when he heard his bestfriend sigh from the other line, Taekwoon must know he was crying. “I’m outside. Come down here.”

“Yes… just a moment. Don’t leave me.” Hakyeon answer, meaning something else with that sentence.

“You know I won’t,”Taekwoon said with so much endearment. “Hurry up. It’s cold.”

Hakyeon smile while hung up and just then that he notice Jaehwan. “Oh you are here.”

Jaehwan glad that he wipe his tears already and hope his eyes doesn’t give away that he had been crying. Jaehwan walk to him and Wonshik, and the tallest among them hug him immediately. “Are you leaving already?”

“Um,” Hakyeon nod and wear his, Taekwoon’s, coat that he put on the dining chair earlier. “Taekwoon is waiting down there and he is ing about how cold it is, so I need to hurry before he ing some more.”

“Are you two dating?’Wonshik can’t help but ask.

Hakyeon look at him, “I don’t know...”

Wonshik roll his eyes and groan, “You cannot “don’t know” if you are dating someone or not, Hakyeon.”

Hakyeon laughed, the first genuine laugh since this drama start. “I’m leaving.’

“Let me walk with you,”Jaehwan said, “No, I want to walk with you,”He said again when Hakyeon tell him not to bother.

They walk out of the apartment together in silence but not awkward. When they out of the elevator in the lobby, Jaehwan suddenly hug Hakyeon and saying sorry, catch Hakyeon off guard.

“You don’t need to do this, Hakyeon-ah. You don’t need to give up for my sake”

“What do you mean?”Hakyeon rub Jaehwan’s back even if he is confused.

“I just don’t like it that I hurt you.”

“What?”Hakyeon is confused until it hit him, “Ah… even that idiot doesn’t know, how you can tell?”Hakyeon smile sadly.

“Because you look at him the same way as I do,”Jaehwan pull away. “Please don’t this.”

Hakyeon wipe the little tears on Jaehwan’s eyes “I want to. And it is not your fault so don’t even think about blaming yourself. I want to do this. I can’t be happy even if I marry him.”

“He doesn’t deserve you.”

“No, he doesn’t.”Hakyeon smile, “But you two deserve each other,”Hakyeon caress Jaehwan’s cheek. “Take care of him for me. I know you can, you are his secretary after all.”

Jaehwan laugh a little, “Thank you and I’m so sorry,”

“Sstt… no don’t say that.”Hakyeon hug Jaehwan again, “Go inside. I’m leaving, Taekwoon waiting too long for me.”

Jaehwan nod, “If it’s possible, please find your other half soon. I pray for your happiness, Hakyeon-ah.”

With that Hakyeon leave the building and outside, Taekwoon is already waiting beside his car, jumping a little to keep his body warm. Hakyeon shake his head. Idiot.

“You should wait in the car where it’s warm, Taekwoonie.”

Taekwoon, upon hearing his best friend voice, stop jumping and keep staring as Hakyeon walk to him. When Hakyeon is already a breath away he pull the other into his arm and immediately feel warm. From Hakyeon’s body heat and also from the tears from the man who are crying in his chest.

“You did well,”Taekwoon kiss Hakyeon’s head, “You will be okay,”

Hakyeon’s I know is muffled but Taekwoon still can hear him clearly.

“Let’s go home. You will be freezing out here.”

When Taekwoon pull away, he sees the beautiful smile on the latter’s face. Despite the tears, Hakyeon’s smile is always beautiful. Taekwoon want to see that beautiful smile always, but it will difficult. Hard but possible. Taekwoon won’t give up.

“Let’s go home,”Hakyeon agree.

And home they go.

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