You woke up to the sound of quiet and rhythmic beeping. Your lids were heavy and felt like someone pressed them down to prevent you from opening your eyes.
Your dreams had been confusing, filled with horrid images. Full of screams, blood and death.
Where were you? The smell was familiar, yet strange and uncanny.
The concert. Right, you finally saw BTs. You finally saw-
Oh no.

Jung Hoseok.

You jolted up, opening your eyes wide, gasping as if you hadn’t breathed for a minute.
Immediately, you fell back again. Your body was weak from not moving for a long time. Slowly, you looked around for something that could tell you the time.
Your watch was laying beside you on a little desk.

Almost two days had passed since the concert. Though your mind was still hazy, you remembered the nightmare that had become a reality. The sound oft he shot, the terrified screams, Jungkook crying. The sounds ringed in your head, they grew louder and louder as images of blood and tears appeared in front of your eyes. Your breath got heavier and heavier, you wanted to shoo these thoughts away and started wailing and throwing your heavy limbs in every direction until you fell out of bed, crying, screaming, feeling the greatest pain you have ever felt, still not calming down.

A nurse came in and tried to keep you from moving – successfully, as you fell back into weakness and sunk down into the bed she lifted you in. Was he in the same hospital as you were? You couldn’t ask the nurse, your mouth couldn’t form any words, your throat couldn’t create any more sound except for quiet whines of pain and sorrow.
You stared at the empty, white walls. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw blood on them.
Eventually, you started looking out oft he window. It was foggy and you noticed the quiet rain, shyly dripping against the window.
The room felt dead. The weather felt dead. You felt dead.

After being put to sleep and woken up again, another day had passed. You didn’t feel as lifeless and weak anymore, but you felt empty.
As the nurse tried to give you food, you refused. Talking was still impossible. Your throat felt dry and sick. You felt numb to every human need or emotion other than sadness and the agony of losing the shining light of your life.

„He still is asleep“
You looked up from the simple plate of rice they had given you.
„The singer“, a soft voice said, „He will wake up, but not yet. His friends won’t leave his side, but they also worry about you.“

The nurse smiled at you. J-hope was still alive?
You remembered his thankful smile. What if they’d ever want to thank me?
„You want to look good and healthy for them if they visit, right? Please eat. If you get stronger, you might wanna pay him a visit, too.“
Your eyes widened and looked at her with a shocked expression.
She was right. They shouldn’t see you in this terrible shape. You slowly started eating and just now noticed, how hungry you were. After you were done, the nurse left and told you to be careful when moving, as your muscles weren’t used to carrying your weight anymore.
Your friends and family paid you a visit on that day and brought some clothes and your phone, aswell as  [item (book,console,…)].
The next day, you already felt much better. You could stand up normally and ate better. As you were just browsing through your phone, a quiet, yet strong knock was heard.
„Yes?“ you instinctively answered, expecting another friend to visit. You heard rather heavy steps you never had heard before. „How are you?“, a rather deep voice asked. His voice was hoarse, as if he had been crying or drinking not too long ago. The voice was familiar, but you couldn’t put your finger on it until you lifted your head and saw no other than Kim Namjoon standing in front of you.

Immediately you straightened your position. „I- uh- I.. a bit weak but it’s okay!!“, you answered with a hint of panic in your voice. It was cracking, as you didn’t talk much in the last few days.
„That’s… good I guess..“ the rapper said softly, with a hint of sadness in his voice.
He sat down in the chair beside you.
„How is- uh- you know.. J-hope?“, you asked, stumbling over your words.
RM looked into your [y/ec] eyes. He mumbled: „He isn’t waking up. The doctors say he will be alright but honestly? At this point I…. I wouldn’t be so sure about that.“
It was obvious how hard he tried to keep himself from crying. You looked down at your hands, fumbling with the blanket around your legs.
„But still. They say you are the one who saved him. I – I couldn’t do anything and you just jumped in directly. I.. I am so-..I.. thank you.“
He shook his head and smiled lightly, showing his dimples.
Coughing, he said „Ah, sorry. I’m a mess. I just wanted to thank you. That’s all.. and uh, don’t worry too much.“
He stood up to leave the room.

„RM [/-RM-Oppa/..].“
 He turned around.
„Can I see him? I know it’s probably a lot to ask for as I’m just-“

„Of course! Please come if you want. I will be there fort he next hour and tomorrow from 4-6 PM
I think it’s best when you come when I’m there too, you know?“

You nodded confused. Only after he left, the realisation hit you. But you couldn’t feel happiness, because of all the worry that was plagueing you.
But honestly.
You mostly felt fear.