Taemin has been nothing but annoying the past 6 months, going here and there looking for cheap ballet performances. This time, however, he's in the apartment for some cheers for his upcoming biggest achievement, he had finally gotten an important role in the Swan Lake. Jongin clearly expected that although he had always wanted to bring Odette to life, now it'd be Taemin. Jongin remains in awe as he wipes his baby's mouth with a tissue. 

"That's... oh," he says. "Well, congrats, Swan Lake is beautiful, you worked hard, really." 

There a small table between them as Taemin sips on his tea before placing it on the table. 

"Have you thought about returning? A whole team is waiting for you, Nini," he declares. Jongin plays with the hem of his baby's shirt nervously.

"Maybe once Sehun is over with his career. I have no one and we don't have enough money to afford a babysitter. I'm not even working and our friends are busy with their careers, I don't want to be a burden."

Jongin uncomfortably squirms in his place as Taemin's gaze falls upon him with something like pity. 

"Okay, I... " he starts. "Well, you have me and the whole team in general, also Sehun has been by your side-" Taemin flinches when Jongin harshly scoffs and then shyly adds, "all this time".

"Is there a problem?" Taemin questions, obviously curious about his reaction. 

"Sehun and I changed after the baby, Taem," he sighs. "He arrives late in the night, sometimes he doesn't help me with the baby and most of the times we act like strangers."

Taemin is taken aback by the information.

"But he looked like he enjoyed being a dad, what's going on? Are you not close anymore? You... don't love him?"

Jongin remains silent for a moment, digesting his question, until he defines his feelings. "I am grateful because he is with me and he didn't abandoned me. But... it's not the same anymore."

Jongin proceeds to adjust his baby in his arms, wrapping him in his blue blanket and keeping him warm against his chest.

"Thank you, Taemin."

"You are forever welcome," Taemin declares. "Has your mother called you?", he questions.

"No, but she sent a whole basket with clothes for Kyungsoo, some baby oil, and stuff that could be useful for me to cook."

"And... your dad?"

Jongin just rolls his eyes.

"He hasn't talked to me. Nor has he accepted me back home."

The conversation dies out right then and Taemin helps his friend fold Kyungsoo's tiny clothing even if he had to go through Jongin's whining about how expensive diapers were and how cruel it was to try feeding his baby with that horrible excuse of baby food that was sold at the stores.

A pile of colorful clothing lies at the corner of the couch once the night falls and both friends find themselves watching a movie on Netflix with their shared account. Jongin rests his head on Taemin's chest, thinking how his life had changed from being a lithe dancer, the owner of multiple ovations and deliberated breathes to a housewife who cleaned his baby's mess every two minutes. Kyungsoo is already sleeping in his crib, and Taemin is playing with Jongin's soft locks while they enjoy repeating Stranger Things. Light reverberates against the walls as the door swings open and the two friends are temporarily blinded before discerning Sehun's figure at the entrance of the apartment, the man stares at them with severe eyes, sharpening his gaze when it falls upon Jongin, who shrugs against Taemin.

"Having a good night?" he questions, hanging his coat on the hanger. Jongin slowly drifts apart from Taemin, getting up nonchalantly.

"How was your day?", Jongin questions ignoring his innuendo  and moving to their shared room to briefly check on his baby, who is in deep slumber, Jongin smiles sweetly at him and then returns to the living room for his boyfriend's answer, the lack of interest is back over his face.

"Busy, how's the baby?"

"Kyungsoo's been sleeping. And he has been eating a lot lately."

"Don't feed him too much," Sehun advices. 

Taemin doesn't talk much when they have dinner, he just sits there, hearing Jongin whine about the baby and how Sehun arrives once it's late and how he is barely there for the family. It's not very new, but Taemin can see how constricted by the words Jongin looks when he talks about his family. Jongin looked constricted since months ago, since the second month of his pregnancy. And he had cried a lot, only God knew how much Taemin pitied him. Jongin has a family. Man, that's weird. His baby has gotten himself another baby, and it came out from him. How the baby was healthily born was a miracle when his mother hadn't done much other than crying. 

The dinner goes as expected, only him taking part in the discussions and getting glares from both parties, specially Sehun. The man was terrifying. Minutes later, he says his goodbyes, being Jongin's sad face the last thing he sees. 

The couple is back to their lives, and Jongin walks to their room to check on the baby once again, he's peacefully sleeping, but Jongin knows that it's a matter of time before he needs to be fed again, so he declines the idea of getting into bed. It's time to search for a new series in Netflix. He is about to do exactly that, putting one of his feet back to turn his body towards the door when a pair of hands grip on his hips and it's Sehun's mouth which touches a sensitive space of skin on his neck. He tenderly moans, and his velvety voice echoes through Sehun's mind as he tries to release himself from his hold.

"The baby will wake up soon, Sehun," Jongin elaborates. But, it has been a while, he knows, and, after moving to the living room and making sure there's a between them, he lets Sehun him on the couch before returning to take a shower where is involved too. Jongin is not even two minutes in bed next to his boyfriend when the baby's sobbing starts, he turns his head to Sehun, who is back facing him on the bed, his deep breath is already a proof of his slumber so he dismisses the idea of making him take care of the baby. Jongin wearily gets off the bed and moves to the crib to reach down and take the baby into his arms. 

He isn't careful with the noise he produces as he walks out the room since the baby is already crying so he has the pleasure to slam the door close hard even if he knows that Sehun has a class not too early in the morning, it's already 3 a.m. and within a few hours, he'll have to wake up again to make breakfast for his (not so desired) family. He calmly sits on the couch, all the while patting his baby's back. 

It's difficult, but the father isn't there to help him and the baby is hungry so he manages to heat up the porridge he had already prepared some hours ago for situations like these. He's back on the couch as he feeds his son. A turmoil of feelings settle inside him, in nights like those, when everything is quiet and peaceful, and thoughts can't be silenced by extern worries. Those nights are pretty reminders of his past life. Dance and sweat, the possibility to abandon everything and everyone, the lack of importance death has when you have nothing to lose, when no one depends on you, the youth, the time, the entrance to the path to life, the undecipherable but hopeful future... It's like a blot of the past. Like an untouchable star in the skies, a past that grew in the fantasies. 

Jongin can't say he isn't fond of his baby. He really can't. He made his life wonderful after nine tempestuous months. But... he also can't deny how regretful he feels. For he has seen the wonders of his hard work and the beauties of his dreams, all the cheers, all the grace and the admiration, that beautiful mixture of satisfaction. So tragic it was, he was barely touching the clouds when the sun burned him. 

Jongin can't say he isn't fond of Sehun either. Over a year ago, the man was sitting next to him at his parents' house, where Mr. and Mrs. Oh sat in front of them and Sehun assumed all responsibilities regarding his pregnancy. Jongin just had to move to Sehun's apartment, a decent place where a college student could live. Not a family. But the place could do in order to have a roof to live under. It could have been worse, Sehun could have just denied his parenthood. But he didn't. That was Jongin's biggest lure. And pain: all the gratefulness and the love that were gone with an accelerated union that wasn't even stable after four months of courtship. But Sehun had always been willing to have the baby, ignoring any attempt of abortion. Thus, Jongin, always pliant and docile, sacrificed his future and his dreams in order to be a mother. And only then was he facing the repercussions of such decision.

Finally, at 4:30 a.m., Jongin has the chance to sleep. 

The alarm rings at 8; and Jongin rapidly reaches out to turn the thing off fearing that his baby could wake up due to the sound. And the routine starts again. He gets off the bed, stumbles a little and gets to the door with difficulty.

He prepares breakfast for them both and some mush for the baby. He is placing his plate on the table when his boyfriend walks in the kitchen, already dressed and bathed. 

"Exam?" Jongin questions noticing his formality.

Sehun takes his seat tiredly. "Presentation."

"We had last night, isn't that going to affect you?" Jongin questions taking his place next to him.

"Nah, it was good, I feel relaxed. with you is always good."

"You should have slept, ," he says pushing food into his mouth with his chopsticks.

"I know. Oh," Sehun exclaims as if he remembered something. "I forgot to tell you, Chanyeol is having an important gathering tonight and he invited us. "

"Really? Are we going? But the baby..."

"Kyungsoo should come with us too."Jongin considers not attending the gathering, until Sehun tells him otherwise. "He needs to socialize with other people, Jongin. He can't only be in your arms, you know he might be struggling to have friends in the future. And we don't have enough money to send him to a playgroup or pay a nanny. And I don't really trust them."

Jongin sighs. "Okay."

In great measure, visiting Chanyeol's apartment meant he'd have to deal with seeing a face he only wanted to forget. A pretty thing who was slow to make his talent grow but really fast to adorn his face with flirty smiles and youthful eyes. Luhan. To sum up, Chanyeol was a friend of Sehun who was some years older than him and was finally graduating to be a professional industrial engineer. A good example for Sehun and a coach for different topics, Chanyeol was like a brother to him. They had met during a party the older had threw for the newbies and Sehun, being the party monster he was, had attended. They immediately connected and created an everlasting friendship. In the other hand, Chanyeol had met Luhan two years later, when Sehun was dating a pretty dancer with the legs and presence of someone who was born under the spotlights (a.k.a. Jongin). 

Their history was... interesting. Luhan had been an acquaintance to him, someone he teamed up with for some competitions. They had never been friends since their personalities collided a lot, but they used to hang out often since their friends were close. They really shone, one was the flower of the faculty while the other was the passion. 

Jongin never saw Luhan as a rival. Being selected for more presentations and highly recommended by his teachers, Jongin was at the peak of the hill. And so, he saw Luhan as a side dish. Everyone had the thought in their minds, even Luhan, who depreciated himself to the pit.

But, in an incredible turn of events, Jongin got pregnant. And the war of envy ended. Because Jongin had nothing Luhan could envy him for. Hence, Luhan kept the popularity, the love. And the success. Anyone could understand Jongin's anxiety. He was scared to be faced with the consequences of his... mistake.

Thus, he prepared to attend the 'important' gathering. 

Mostly dressed in black, Jongin gets off the car as he holds his baby securely against his chest. He inspections the apartment block, noticing they are a thousand times better than the one he shares with Sehun. Already sure he won't enjoy this night, he hastily makes his way to the building with Sehun following closely.

There's silence inside the elevator and Kyungsoo is as silent as ever since not a single whimper has come out his of little mouth. They step out once the doors are open and they are again drowned in silence. They slowly walk towards Chanyeol's apartment and Sehun is in charge of knocking on the door since Jongin is too busy with the baby. It's not long before the door is open and Luhan's fake smile is the first thing that greets them. Jongin is momentarily numb under his poisonous stare, the man looks at him from head to toe, inspecting Jongin, judging him. He couldn't get a worse result. Jongin was still as gorgeus as the last time he stepped on the scenery, with the youthful face, the long legs, the beauty. Only now, a lot of the playfulness and the fiery gaze were gone and they were replaced with tiredness and a feeling of decades running through his fine features. 

Jongin clears his throat uncomfortably as he shares a curious glace with his boyfriend and Luhan jumps in his place.

"Please come in," Luhan says and turns around. Sehun gives Jongin a soft smile, which is retu