In a matter of seconds Hyesung freed his arms, placing a strong punch to the others jaw, having Eric groan in pain, letting go of the younger. Well he shouldn’t have provoked Hyesung like that and even less his pride.

„Owh Hyesungie, that’ll become a real nasty bruise! “And there he was, whining again, giving his fellow member the puppy eyes. „It’s your own fault. “Hyesung answered, he couldn’t help but grin. „Still unruly, I like it. “Eric grinned, embracing the singer again and Hyesung let him, rolling his eyes.

„How about kissing it better? “Why did Eric always have to be so awful as soon as he opened his mouth? Hyesung scoffed at the suggestion, feeling himself blush at the image. „I thought you wanted to talk? “he uttered, trying to change the topic to less embarrassing things. „Aren’t we? “Eric joked, but quickly sobered up as soon as Hyesung implied that he was ready to deliver another punch.

And the main vocal was glad, he was just an emotional mess by now, trapped somewhere between his habits, friendship and romantic feelings, not having the strength nor will to reject Eric’s warmth.

But then the rapper leaned in, attempting to kiss the younger male again and Hyesung panicked, turning his head away. And it was probably the first time that he thanked his panicky, helpless reflects because he didn’t want to kiss the older man again, it would be wrong, now that Eric belonged to someone and that someone wasn’t Hyesung.

„Okay okay. Why did I lose my right to kiss you? “Hyesung had placed his chin on the others shoulder, not willing to look at him but Eric sounded rather resignated and impatient. „First of all, you never had a right in that matter. “Hyesung nearly winced at how bitter his words were, well his shattered heart surely hurt at them too.

Hyesung could feel the taller jerk at them, tightening his hold around the singer’s slim body. „Why am I not allowed anymore? “Eric then asked after a pause, probably using that smart brain of his for once. But not properly because the answer was indeed obvious and Hyesung could only let out a breathy laugh before he was ready to answer. „You really have to ask that? You’re married, you dimwit! “Why was he actually discussing such things with the older? It would lead to nothing but akwardness.

„That’s the problem? Really?! Come on Hyesungie you know that we don’t love each other like that and never will. You know all about our agreement! “Eric was clearly agitated and tried to look the younger in the face but Hyesung growled under his breath, showing clearly that he didn’t want that. He would’ve lost his mind completely if he let Eric stare at him on top of everything. Ha! That would be too embarrassing, he was so easy to read for Eric and he hated it.

„Still, you belong to her. “Hyesung uttered. And oh dear lord, where they really having this conversation? How the bloody hell?! Was he still sane, to reveal everything so easily to the one who caused the chaos in his feelings? He must’ve lost his mind.

Hyesung internally snorted and probably would’ve slapped himself to come to his senses when Eric wouldn’t have spoken up. „Does it bother you? “Eric asked, weirdly calm.

„What kind of question is that?! “the singer snarled, squirming in Eric’s grip. Of course it did! Hyesung thought that it had been embarrassingly obvious and he wasn’t sure if he should laugh, cry or celebrate that Eric now asked, maybe not having noticed before or finally wanting to confirm.

„Just answer it. “Eric pressed, voice still calm  and Hyesung hated it. It wasn’t fair that the older managed to stay calm and collected while he suffered, his breath going in short pants, his emotions in a conflicted whirlwind.

And finally Hyesung managed to struggle free from the rappers’ iron grip only to find Eric’s hands placed firmly on his shoulders the next second. „ You know - I take it as a yes that you don’t deny it. “The small satisfaction Hyesung felt upon hearing the impatience in Eric’s voice washed away after his mind registered the meaning of the taller man’s words.

„Bull! It doesn’t bother me. “he cried out, knowing fully well that he was grimacing. His stomach was twisting at the lie, telling him to be truthful with his neighbor but his mind spoke over it, telling him it had worked to lie to his older friend so why not continue with it?

But he wouldn’t stand it much longer to be this close to Eric, the leader holding onto him, maybe even giving him a chance final, a chance Hyesung would screw up once again and beat himself up over it later.

A sudden wave of tiredness swapped over him, resignation laying itself over all his other feelings like fog. „Get off me and go home, it’s late and I’m tired. “He only muttered, still unable to look at his opposite straight, feeling deflated and not like using violence at all suddenly.

„I’ll go when you’ve been honest with me. “Eric now snapped out between gritted teeth. The murderous glint in his eyes and his whole tense posture, fingers digging into Hyesungs shoulders told the younger that his patience was finally running thin too. Hyesung liked the other better this way when they were arguing, he absolutely hated it when Eric held his emotions back.

Hyesung always felt as if the rapper closed himself off in such situations. And as an impulsive and emotional person Hyesung felt somehow worthless and scared then, it hurt him to think that Eric wasn’t ready to let go around him sometimes.

„I was. “Hyesung muttered, his voice trembling terribly. Even he himself knew what a ridiculous lie it was. But it wasn’t about being a good liar and fooling the rapper, it never was. It was about Hyesung being ready to let all his walls down and give in to his feelings, to understand and accept them, accepting Eric himself fully. And Hyesung had managed to do exactly that, that one fated time. Too bad that he had gotten so scared afterwards and shied away.

Only in his darkest, desperate hours he had been confident to give in once more, if he got the chance and also stay this time. But now, now that he was face to face with Eric, the human who made him the most nervous while still being able to calm him completely and let him feel safe, he had no confidence left. He was torn, torn between his heart, stomach and mind. Hyesung had no idea how it would end this time around for the two of them.

And if he read his friends face right, Eric didn’t know either. But there was a strange determination in his eyes, one the shorter singer saw very, very rarely and he wasn’t sure if he was comforted or scared by it. He adverted his eyes, insecure in everything, Erics gaze being to intense for the singer.

„Why do you make it so hard for me? “Eric asked, Hyesung getting a glimpse of the blank exasperation on the tallers features as he peeked over instinctively at Eric’s voice and it broke his heart finally.

Why? That was the question. Because it was wrong nowadays. He had always been too scared to admit it to himself how intense and complex his feelings were and used every chance to block them, Hyemi being the final chance. He didn’t want to destroy their happiness.

It wasn’t that he wanted to suffer, to drown himself in selfpity - at least not all the time, it was more that he just felt unable to be as he wanted to be and get over his fear of being loved by someone he too loved, as Dongwan called it.

Hyesung also didn’t want Eric to suffer but there had always been many moments where he had doubted the others feelings for him, he had always believed that Eric would get happy without having him as a lover or anything along the lines and now he probably was. But Hyesung wasn’t sure; Eric had made rather clear a few moments ago that it wasn’t how he wanted his world.

The slender singers’ head was hurting, he wanted to smash it against the wall so it would keep quiet. Still he didn’t get to do it and from somewhere deep within him a little voice piped up, nudging his courage and suddenly he was speaking up. „Fine. It does bother me. “

The only warning Hyesung got was the look of triumph crossing over Eric’s features together with something dark and sensual before the rapper was kissing him again.

Realizing how wrong it still was, the singer tried to back away, but the other man had locked him in a strong embrace, pressing their lips together until Hyesung eventually gave in.

He couldn’t withstand for long, the temptation was too great, the feeling of Eric’s lips moving against his own too much. It was like the fairytale of Rapunzel. Once the mother had gotten a taste of the rapunzels, she was unable to stop, giving her everything but failing and getting addicted.

Hyesung had once gotten a taste of Eric’s love and in the end he couldn’t resist. He was crumbling down over time without the love and attention of his bandmate no matter how hard he tried to persuade everyone that he wasn’t.

As Eric pulled away shortly after the younger answered his kiss Hyesung chased after the rapper’s lips unconsciously, only noticing it as Eric pecked his lips once more with a low chuckle. He loosened his grip a little, his hands now resting on the singer’s hips. Hyesung let him be, scrunching his face up in displeasure at the dumb grin on the others features.

„Hyesungie I don’t belong to her. “Eric voiced, the younger male adverting his gaze, knowing his flushed face was all too visible in the brightly lit kitchen. He scoffed at the rapper’s words. Of