Hyesung slipped his shoes off in the hallway, flopping them against the parquet without a thought of tidying up. He shambled towards the bathroom, he was in desperate need of a shower. The slender man managed to remove his jacket before entering the bathroom, an exhausted sigh falling from his lips.

He shut the door behind himself, a habit he never managed to get rid of even though he was living by himself for so long now and the pets that had accompanied him from time to time had always made a terrible ruckus. The singer didn’t even bother to suppress the yawn nor use his hand to cover his mouth. He was exhausted after the concert with no will left to care.

Hyesung undressed himself fully, leaving his clothes on the bathroom floor before taking his phone to place it on the stacker in the shower and slipping in himself. Lately he had gotten himself a waterproof phone, knowing his tendency to text in the shower or listen to music it had seemed like a good investion.

Right now however the warm water got all his attention. As it engulfed his worn-out body he felt satisfaction settling deep into his bones. The concert had been a blast and all the congratulations and friendly pats on the back afterwards had only proved it, everyone had been in high spirits.

The aftermath of it all had Shinhwas main vocal tight in its grip, he felt good, truly content, enjoying the fact that he would flop into his bed right after showering. He had already fallen asleep on the car ride to his apartement, thankful that his manager had been a true angel and had driven him home and now Hyesung was still sleepy and just incredibly tired.

He tried not to let his mind wander too much and finished his shower quickly, not once taking a glance at his phone - which was a first for the last few months. He should give the members and fans a pat on the shoulder for tiring him out so much not even his addiction could get to him properly.

After washing up Hyesung turned the shower off and stepped out of it, his feet cherishing the soft bath mat after a day full of dancing. The tired man reached for his towel, bathrobe and underwear, slipping the latter on. He wrapped the towel around his head to soke up most of the water from his hair.

He stepped in front of the mirror, washing away the last traces of make-up, mustering his face for a few moments before caring for his skin, knowing all too well he would regret it if he didn’t, he had been too careless the last weeks and now his body demanded its tribute. Hyesung yawned again, shaking his head to get rid of the tiredness a little so he could brush his teeth without dozing off.

He took off the now wet towel and hung it on the door, taking a dry one to rub his hair as dry as possible. For a brief moment he hesitated - should he blow-dry it?, but shooed that nonsensical thought away immediately after. Being done with combing his precious hair he snatched his phone and left for his bedroom, snuggling under the covers.

He would clean up the next day, just now his bed was way too cozy and a good night’s sleep was a thing he could kill for. He fiddled his phone out of his bathrobe's pocket and unlocked it. And wow, the members had spammed again, Junjin and Dongwan tormenting their Groupchat with casual reactions from their youngest. No trace of the CEOs, both probably already deep asleep.

There was one private message from their main dancer though, sent an hour ago, that must’ve been when they were still at the concert venue. Hyesung opened it, curious as to what it was. „Have fun with Eric later. “And a disgusting wink emoticon.

Hyesung grunted agitated, throwing his phone to the other side of his bed. Great. Good job Minwoo. Funny how fast a well build barrier could turn to dust... Now all the memories from earlier came crushing down onto him.

Eric’s stares, the teasing, his strong hands that had held onto Hyesung tightly, the lingering touch; the rapper testing how far he could go. During that damned papergame there had been that glistening desire in Eric’s eyes again, an expression Hyesung thought he wouldn’t get to see again. The leader had successfully gotten Hyesung on edge once again.

The singer internally cursed Minwoo, fuming already. Hyesung had wonderfully managed to banish everything Eric and clear his mind so he could go to sleep right away, a thing he had trained for years and now this tiny dwarf thought it was fun to bring up everything, again. Wow.

Hyesung wouldn't be able to find sleep soon. He was royally pissed. But it eased away as soon as it had come, his thoughts already wandering off to Eric again.

Hyesung felt his eyelids drooping, the light on his nightstand stinging in his eyes, telling him even more how tired his body was. As if he didn’t know that himself - but no, his mind was racing, images of their handsome leader flashing through it.

Why did everything have to be so ed up between them? Well for Eric it wasn’t but for the main vocal it surely was, at least by now. If Eric just hadn’t married it would’ve been a lot easier.

Hyesung grunted, annoyed at himself, he was lying to himself. It wouldn’t have been any easier, it would’ve been the same as all the other years, not leading them anywhere except for mutual underlying frustration. It was better if at least Eric was happy.  

Hyesung knew he shouldn’t be so pessimistic and that it wasn’t a marriage out of romantic love, but it still got to him. Even though he only dared to admit it in some dark moments. He still couldn’t really accept that Eric had now fullfilled what he ever wanted - having a happy family, getting married, to a very good friend of his on top of that, being obviously very content in their secretly open marriage - it wasn’t as complicated as it sounded.

Hyesung had heard the details together with the other members and back then he had been to flustered to speak up, and later on too proud and shy to bring the topic up himself. And since Eric hadn’t done i