minseok has never been one to have lots of friends.  there are close friends that he's kept for a long time and usually the relationship is slow in coming to fruition.  however, with park chanyeol, minseok finds himself being swept along with chanyeol's pace.  chanyeol, as it turns out, is the opposite of minseok in most things.  he has a large group of friends and is able to make friends with anyone and anything - even animals.

they're at the old park today - one of minseok's favorite places, still.  chanyeol had dragged minseok out, using the excuse of physical therapy to guilt minseok into it.  there's a large golden retriever bounding in the slightly dry and yellow grass, apparently having escaped from his owner.  chanyeol kneels, opening his arms wide with a huge grin on his face.

"here here puppy" chanyeol coaxes and the dog jumps into chanyeol's arms.  "come here little guy."

"ah!" minseok rushes forward, worrying that chanyeol will put undue stress on his bad leg, but the worry disappates when chanyeol laughs aloud.

the dog is chanyeol's face all over and whining in happiness, expressing it with the wiggle of his whole rear end.  the sun is quite warm for the fall season and everything is kind of perfect.  but suddenly, minseok sees a flash of something that makes his whole body run cold.  deep inside, minseok understands things very well; he recalls junmyeon's words before leaving.  chanyeol and minseok are like two opposite ends of the spectrum, two parallel lines that might be in sight of one another, but that don't merge.  and jongin... well, jongin had overlapped with minseok's quiet life so perfectly, so naturally, melting into one another like the sunset colors blending silently into the horizon.  no, minseok knows deep inside that jongin and chanyeol are nothing like each other.  but at times like these, when minseok sees jongin's esctatic face overlapping with chanyeol's in front of the dog, minseok can't help but freeze up with a strange kind of fear.

was this right?
was this betrayal?
was this hurting chanyeol?

the sunlight hits just right, making minseok squint and raise his hand to shade his eyes; the sharp scent of grass hits his nose.  when his vision returns to normal, minseok sees chanyeol's happy face, looking up at him.

"hyung.  cute, right?"

minseok's lips part, but before he can formulate words, the dog's owner jogs up to them.

"i'm so sorry.  chorong is just so excited that we're out on a walk today that he got away from me!"

"no no it's okay" chanyeol says, getting up and handing the leash over to the owner.  "he's so cute and friendly!  you must be proud."

the woman smiles, bowing and apologizing again before going the other way with the dog in tow.  minseok's still a little stiff as chanyeol sighs happily beside him.

"i wish we had a puppy" chanyeol says wistfully.

minseok can feel chanyeol looking at him, staring with longing eyes.  minseok turns his head toward chanyeol, a beat later.  chanyeol looks happy.  he looks so content at this moment that minseok feels like the sunlight is blinding him again, but this time, it's chanyeol's smile, it's chanyeol's twinkling eyes.  this time, it's chanyeol's trusting face.

"...we should get one" minseok mumbles, letting chanyeol lace their fingers together.

"really?!  you're not teasing, right?!  you're being serious?!"

chanyeol jumps up and down, excited as the dog that had just left them.  minseok can't help but laugh, bubbles of amusement escaping his lips as he nods.

"i'm being serious, but you have to help me.  i've never owned a dog before."

going on a mile a minute about how he'll be in charge of everything dog related, chanyeol motors on about going to the pound on their next day off or maybe they should see if anyone has puppies?  they start walking back towards their apartment.  they live together now.  it's been seven years since that fateful day when chanyeol had saved him from the car accident.  chanyeol's leg had never quite healed properly with the joint still aching when there was a change in atmospheric pressure.  and though it's been three years since they'd moved in together, their relationship is still something that minseok has yet to figure out.  minseok knows he's being selfish, but every night when minseok thinks chanyeol's gone to sleep, minseok still checks his phone.  he still sends messages into space and his inbox still says zero.

as they reach the edge of the park, chanyeol is talking about what size dog would be good for their lifestyle.

"maybe a small dog since we live in an apartment?"

minseok just chuckles at chanyeol's obvious excitement.  encouraged by minseok's smile, chanyeol continues.

"or maybe we should just move into a house and get a big dog or two!"

"slow down there, tiger" minseok tells chanyeol patting their joined hands.  but minseok's still laughing and chanyeol giggles too.

"i've saved enough money, you know" chanyeol says softly, getting a more serious look in his eye.  "we could move if we wanted to."

chanyeol squeezes minseok's hand lightly.

"mmm" minseok makes a humming noise in his throat and chanyeol turns his head because minseok hasn't squeezed back.

chanyeol knows this means minseok's not ready.  moving meant leaving the town that minseok has lived in all his life - the town where minseok grew up with jongin.  they walk in silence for a few minutes, hands still joined, until finally-

"i thought you were going to build us a house near the ocean?" minseok's voice is soft and still full of fondness.

chanyeol whips his head to look at minseok again, grinning and eyes fond.

"that's right" chanyeol returns, nodding.  "i'm going to build us a house by the sea, where we can grow old together.  it'll be quiet place where you can have a good view of the sky and the water."

"with lots of trees?"

"with lots of trees" chanyeol confirms.  "and a little garden where we can plant vegetables."

"flowers too?"

"flowers too."

minseok chuckles softly as he fixes his grip on chanyeol's hand.  as they near the apartment building, minseok tries not to think about the weight of his cell phone in his coat pocket.  he tries not to think about the fact that, he had promised jongin they'd get a dog together when he got back from his mission.  minseok tries not to think at all.  because though chanyeol was understanding and generally quiet about things when it came to minseok's past, he knew chanyeol could read the complicated expression in minseok's eyes when he was thinking about jongin.  and when they reach their apartment, front door closing behind him and chanyeol cupping his face to press a kiss to minseok's lips, minseok tries to think of chanyeol and chanyeol only.

++++

"officer kim, the captain tells me that your reports are getting shorter than his" baekhyun says, half amused and half concerned.  "everything ok?"

when jongin shrugs, baekhyun sighs.  these days, jongin is always holed up in the storage room next to the kitchen area.

"is it the food?  finally getting sick of freeze dried chicken?"

"..."

"officer kim two tells me he gave you that mocha bread.  i was surprised it hadn't crumbled into nothingness from the space jump."

"kim two?"

"oh, so he speaks!" baekhyun nudges jongin's arm, trying to look into his eyes.  then, "jongdae.  you're both kims so jongdae gets to be number two."

jongin snorts listlessly. 

head hanging over the same book he's had since the beginning of the mission, jongin's head sinks even further between his knees.  baekhyun traces the title of the book with his finger absent-mindedly.

"wormholes, huh?  you're not thinking of leaving us for this, are you?  going for that special badge of honor then?" baekhyun jokes.  when jongin doesn't smile, baekhyun scoots closer.  "...is...is there still no message from minseok hyung?"

jongin finally looks up.  though baekhyun hadn't been close with minseok, jongin had talked about him so much that all of the crew knew about him.  but the messages, jongin hadn't told anyone about the messages.

"how did you know?" jongin asks, voice fragile and vulnerable.

"yah, when you're always moping around, phone never leaving your right hand, there's only one reason, isn't there?  it's not like you text anyone else."

it was true.  to his family, jongin made sure he sent video updates every so often.  these went to the space station in korea, then was relayed to his family.  but to minseok, he always sent texts right when the moment hit him and it was nearly every moment that jongin missed minseok.

jongin sighs again, furrowing his brows and grimacing like he's in pain.  baekhyun rubs a hand on jongin's back.

"i'm sure there's a good reason.  i'm sure he's frustrated too."

but jongin doesn't know.  it's been three months.  he doesn't have to say that he's starting to get so anxious that he's unable to go to sleep.  when jongin's hands start to shake, baekhyun grips them firmly.

"i wish there was something we could do for you" baekhyun tells him.

they sit like that, hand in hand and close together sharing warmth, for another twenty minutes.  jongin thinks he might be being selfish because baekhyun's own eyes look like they're far away somewhere, possibly thinking of someone too.  there's a beep overhead loud enough to break through the incessant ventilation noises.

"we're going into zero gravity soon" baekhyun tells him.  "don't forget to strap down."

baekhyun gets up, rubbing his own arms and shivering.  it's always cold in space and leaving the warmth of another body is just another reminder.

"system zero zero eight dash one three seven" comes captain do's voice.  "logging preparation for exploration on planet r five one five dash three."

jongin's not feeling up for it because today marks half a year of radio silence from minseok.  even though jongin protests, captain do insists that jongin join the retrieval unit.

"suit up officer kim.  don't let personal matters cloud your true mission here."

the captain is stern, but jongin knows that the captain worries about him, so he doesn't say anymore.

unlike a sluggish jongin, baekhyun and jongdae seem to be excited to be going down to the new planet.

"ah, how long has it been since i've gotten some fresh air?!" exclaims jongdae.

"you mean fresh space" baekhyun teases.

"focus" comes captain do's voice over the communication system.  "don't make me turn the pod around."

"as if" baekhyun says under his breath, squeezing the control stick.

"i heard that officer byun."

"hup."

baekhyun makes a comical face, cupping a hand over his mouth and making jongdae laugh.  jongin has to admit their excitement is contagious and he finds the corner of his lip twitching.

when they land, they make quick work of things.  exploration was important, but so was survival.  they never knew what was going to be out there.  baekhyun carefully lands the pod on a flat looking area of rock in between craggy peaks.  the plateau isn't too far off what looks like ground, so jongdae loads up the explore trolley and jongin double checks his pack for vials and sample baggies.

"atmosphere should be 120% of earth's gravity, so let's make use of all that gym time boys" baekhyun says, smirking.

jongdae grumbles something about how baekhyun has it easy as a pilot.  

"how much time?" jongdae asks loudly.

"i'll mark the times at half an hour.  plan to recon in two hours.  let me know through the comm if it looks like it's gonna take longer."

jongdae nods as does jongin.  the two head out as baekhyun looks on.  the path down to ground zero seems pretty straight forward.  no twists and turns and no sharp drops.  baekhyun closes the hatch when they're a few hundred meters out.

"everything look ok?" baekhyun asks through the comm.

jongin's too busy pacing his breathing to answer.  but jongdae grumbles.

"damn i'm already sweating!" jongdae huffs.  "120% my !  byun baek, this is 200% gravity isn't it?!"

baekhyun's laughter comes through the speakers inside the helmet.  from farther away, they can hear captain do's voice, crackling through the speakers.

"keep your wits about.  be careful down there.  take some time to search for samples, but don't dwaddle."

"ah, do kyungsoo!  you're the nagging king!" baekhyun teases.  he always seems to get more daring when they're out on the pod, away from their captain.

what follows are a few choice expletives from their fearless captain, but jongin focuses on the scene in front of him.  they're almost there, with jongdae lagging a little behind.

"hyung, do you need help with the trolley?" jongin asks, turning half way.

jongdae always has more equipment than jongin does, but jongdae signals in the negative.

"you do your thing, jongin-ah.  i'll catch up."

jongin nods, turning back.  he can see what looks like dark earth not too far off.  he grits his teeth, regretting spending his time moping rather than putting more hours in on the treadmill.  his legs are tired already and he's supposed to be the fit one.  jongin blinks when minseok hyung's face flashes before his eyes.

"right" jongin says to himself.  "hyung wouldn't-"

"did you say something jongin-ah?" jongdae asks through the comm link.

"no, sunbae.  it's nothing."

when they get back, even captain do looks pleased.  they had collected some very good samples.

"these look promising" captain do says, looking at the data sheets that jongdae prints out.

jongdae nods excitedly and jongin's cheeks are pink from the giddiness.  a good sample from this planet meant that they were that much closer to getting back home.

"i'll send these reports off immediately" kyungsoo tells them.  "you guys report to the medic."

it was routine, getting checked out by the medic officer after a scouting mission, so they are used to it by now.  officer shin, the medic, motions for them to follow, congratulating them at the same time.  jongdae and baekhyun are bickering over who should take the most credit, but jongin hangs behind.  

"i'll be there in a minute" he calls out to medic shin, who turns and nods before going back with the other two.

jongin crawls back to his containment unit, where he's stashed his phone.  captain do had been right to send jongin out for retrieval.  he feels much better now, more hopeful.  he had felt so much better that for a second, he had forgotten how much he was missing minseok.  his actions are slow as he grabs his cell phone.

but inside, he's thinking, 'please please please please' in a frantic beat.

he opens the cover and the screen flickers to life.  the opening screen just displays the time and the date.  jongin's heart falls a little, but he's always been stubborn boy.  he clicks into the menu, going to 'messages' then 'inbox'.

[you have 0 new messages.]

jongin lets out a slow breath.  'it's okay' he thinks.  two more sample retrievals and they were allowed to go back home.  then, he would get to spend all the time with minseok he wanted.  then- 

but a sudden thought washes over jongin.  what if minseok had died back on earth?  what if that was why there was no reply?  what if the news had reached the captain and the crew, but they were keeping the news from jongin?  unknowingly, jongin grips the phone too hard in his fist.  there's a tiny sound of a crack! and when jongin looks down, the plastic casing on the phone has a hairline fissure at the edge of the keypad.  jongin's heart sinks and all he can think is 'no no no no no no'.  of course, the flaw has no effect on the functionality of the phone but this is his lifeline, his connection to minseok.  and here it was, lying in his hand, chipping away and breaking until one day, it would finally be gone.

jongin chokes on a sob as he furiously rubs at the cleft, willing it to go away.

'please' he thinks.  'please please please.'

and then, like a saving grace, his phone beeps.

[1 new message.]