Namjoon’s POV

            I broke something again.  It isn’t completely my fault this time though, I just can not seem to get him out of my head.  The cute smile that lights up his eyes, the way he kind of tilts his head and holds his tongue between his front teeth when he’s concentrating on organizing the flowers.  I only saw him one time.

“Get yourself together Joonie.  He’s just a boy.  Why is he ruining your already ed sense of stability?” I say to myself right as my mom walks into the living room after hearing the rather extreme crash.

“Namjoon, what did you break this time?” She looked around and noticing the table in 3 parts continues, “How many more replacement tables are we going to have to purchase before you learn to be more careful?”

“I’m sorry mom.  I wasn’t watching where I was going and then, like, the table was there and then I ran into it and fell. I’m so sorry mom, I’ll go pick up another.” The following look I receive from her is one I think I know all too well. But something is off about it, it’s almost like she knows something is going on.

“Sit. You seem distracted and don’t think I can’t see that something is troubling you dear.”

I sit next to my mother on the couch, we had just replaced that last month when I had an unfortunate quarrel with tomato soup.  Once she is comfortable, she pats her lap, signaling me to lay my head on it and she begin my hair almost immediately.  This action has always seemed to put me at ease, the way her fingers run through my hair, massage my scalp, almost untangling all my thoughts instead of my hair. 

“Mom, there’s this guy.  I’ve only seen him once, one fricking time mom.  He’s the florist that made that bouquet I gave you last week.  But ever since that day, I just, Mom, he won’t leave my head.  I don’t know why I’m so stuck on him but like, he’s so cute and I just want to hug him.  He looks like he’d give great hugs.  And he is so invested and in love with being a florist, it’s his happy place.  The way he spoke about it made me feel like we all have a purpose we just have to be comfortable enough with ourselves to find it. And I just, he’s the only thing in my head and that is why I have broken more things this week than I did last month in total.”

I let out a sigh.  I had been rambling for what felt like forever.  When I look up my mother had a look of admiration and pride on her face.

“You know Joonie, I knew it had something to do with the outing to the florist. You stood in the entry way for 20 minutes, staring at that bouquet before finally giving the flowers to me.  You haven’t ever had that look on your face and I knew someone had stolen a piece of my baby’s heart but I wasn’t quite sure if you knew yet.”  I stare at my mother like she had grown another head.

“You mean to say that you’ve known that something was weird for the whole week and you’re just now bringing it up.  I thought I was going crazy.  Mom, what do I do.  I don’t think I want him to leave my head but at the same time, there is no way he even feels the same, let alone even remembers I exist.”

“Well son, I guess go to the shop tomorrow.  Get another one of those bouquets, say you broke something again, it wouldn’t be a lie, and talk to him Joon.  You are so smart and kind and don’t even get me started on your looks.  You’re just like your father, just as oblivious too.  Just have a conversation with the boy, or I’ll intervene.  I will just go and invite him to dinner.  It’ll be fine Namjoon.” 

The look of absolute certainty on my mother’s face haunted me the rest of that night.  How could she be so confident in this, when I was staring at a ceiling wishing for tomorrow not to come and wishing for it to be here already, all at the same moment.  I wasn’t ready to confront whatever this was in me but I was also so very ready to see that beautiful boy in pink again.