Walking out of the hospital through the designated backdoor to avoid any public attention the pair were in a state of overload of information. Because the moment they announced their decision to Dr. Min, and effectively locking their future to the world, she launched straight into baby growth report and list of test and checkups they need to have. Then after than part was over, she stepped out for a little while only to come back with a different folder filled with forms and recommendation for baby classes, birthing classes, midwives, post-birthing accommodation, nutritionist and many other things. The pair suddenly felt like they were completely out of their elements. For two people who have until now been very careful with planning and going about their life, this is very much an alien territory for them.

They decided to sat at a café nearby and discuss the details of their future, for the pregnancy and for after the baby was born. Hongbin had been careful not to mention the public in this initial discussion, not wanting to overburden Eunjung, and also partly because he has yet to figure out what to do with that. He needs the input of someone in the industry, because the company as his PR manager needs to be very much involved.

Due to the impossibly massive amount of information they need to go through, they only manage to decide on a few things, but agreed to meet later in the week when they had time to read through their respective folder. But before they parted, Hongbin pulled out the by now familiar paper bag out of his back pack and present it to Eunjung.

“The first gift that came for little Red Bean.”

When she looked at the blanket and the words engraved on it, she chuckled. “Your members are cute, I am sure the baby will be in good care with them around.” She said with glassy eyes.

To call the last week of November hectic was an understatement. With the many activities happening; from the VIXX LR concert to the preparation for their tour. Hongbin felt like he aged 10 years. So when they got to Sydney and are given a day to just explore the city, Hongbin welcome it with open arm. He decided to go with Wonshik to look at the shops and walk around the boardwalk. The hot weather was a nice change from the increasingly freezing Seoul.

As they walked looking at shop windows, Hongbin stopped in front of one. An unlikely window caught his eyes. He stopped in front of a baby store, these are the kind of window display his eyes always skip over in the past. But the baby mannequin dressed in a koala onsies caught him.

Wonshik noticed that his friend had stopped walking. “What is it Kong?” and he stood next to his friend and look for what is it Hongbin was looking at. When he spotted the exact same onesies, he cooes. Typical Wonshik to coo when he sees cute soft things, because many might see Wonshik and his tattoos and thinks that he is a tough scary guy, but that man melts at the sight of cute things. And he never have any reservation to hide it. A level of self-confidence that often times Hongbin envies, how in touch Wonshik is to his feelings.

Hongbin pointed to the grey onsies. And without warning, Wonshik dragged him into the store. With his limited English Wonshik asked the store clerk to see the onesies.

She giggled and brought the item to them. As it turns out the outfit was a set. Fluffly onesies with a koala hat. Hongbin felt a silly grin crept up his face. “Should I get this for Red Bean? This is so cute. I don’t think we will find koala things in Seoul.”

“YES!! Buy it buy it buy it.”

With the encouragement Hongbin motioned to the clerk that he wants to purchase the item. But before the clerk can pack it, Wonshik stopped her. “Bin this is a cold weather clothes, are you sure you want to buy the newborn size?” Wonshik looked confused, like he is trying to think too much and it’s hurting his stupid brain.

“Yeah, what about it?”

“When will Red Bean be born?”

“Uh…. June, early June or late May”

“That’s summer, right. I don’t think you can make the baby wear it without baking it.”

“Riiiight…. So……”

“I mean, get something that they baby can wear.” Finally gathering the bits and pieces in his brain.

“OH! Ah, right. But this is too cute for me not to buy.” Finally being able to connect the bits and pieces in Wonshik’s brain.

“Get a bigger size then, so that the baby can wear it later when the weather got colder.” So with that they asked the store clerk to give them the 5-8 months baby size instead of the new born size.

Before checking out the item at the cashier, they two men walked around the store to looked around some more. A few minutes later Hongbin heard Wonshik’s telltale cooing, and made his way over to his friend. In his hands, he was Wonshik was holding another baby clothes, this time with short sleeves and no legs.

“Bin look, it’s a Kangaroo.” Indeed a happy looking kangaroo was printed in the front of the white cotton. Under the cartoon animal, there was a writing that said Kanga-Poo. “See, Kanga-Poo, because baby s so much!!”

Noticing that Hongbin laugh and they took the item to the cashier to pay. Before Hongbin was able to pull out his wallet and cards, Wonshik’s hand was already outstretched, offering his own black credit card.

“You don’t have to do that!”

“Yes I have to! If I am going to be a good uncle, I have to buy the cutest items for Red Bean.”

The store clerk reached out of the card and checked out their items, and hand them the shopping bag. All the while with a smile on her face, and an occasional giggle. “I hope your baby likes these. Good Luck the two of you.” She said in English.

When they two exited the store with the shopping bag. A realization hit Hongbin, “Ey, Shik-ah. The girl told us good luck. Does she think the two of us are having a baby? Together?”

At that realization, Wonshik’s eyes widened. “Ahahhahaha… silly girl… a baby would not survive having the both of us as fathers.”

When they got back to the hotel, the others are already back from their own time in the city. So they were the last one to get ready for their dinner with the staff. While waiting for Hongbin to get ready and shower, they were hanging out in his hotel room. Hakyeon being the nosy person that he is looked into the shopping bag on Hongbin’s bed. He squeeled when he saw the items they bought. “Bin-a, this is so cute.” The leader shouted through the bathroom door. “I also found something when Degunnie and I were out, let me get it. It’s in my room.”

When Hongbin came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, he saw Hakyeon just reentered his room. But he didn’t came emty handed. He was holding a soft plushies in the shape of a platypus. Hakyeon handed it to Hongbin with a proud look on his face. “Isn’t it cute?! It’s and soft enough to be a pillow when Red Bean is small, before she can play with it.”

Hongbin accepted the gift, “Hyung, you don’t have to buy this.”

“Yes I do, we don’t see any platypus dolls back in Korea. And tell Eunjung that she can also use this as a pillow to help her feed.” Then Hakyeon stopped at Hongbin’s bewilded expression. “Is she going to feed Red Bean?”

“I don’t know Hyung, we haven’t talked about such details. But even if she would or would not, it’s her decision.”

“Well you can also use it when you bottle feed Red Bean.”

At that moment, Sanghyuk entered his room. “Ah, Bin-Hyung why are you still ? Come on get dressed I’m hungry. You have to feed this growing boy now!!” completely ignoring the many fluffy soft items laid out on the bed.

Since their show in Sydney is has been Go-Go-Go for the boys. Sound check, performance, high touch, airport and repeat. The next time got a day off was when they landed in Singapore, after Melbourne. They had the day to explore the city before they have to have a full day of sound check, press and performing. They had many choices in the city, to go eat, to go shopping or to go to the amusement park.

Taekwoon was excited for the amusement park, as he does. Having looked up the rides and food that is available in Universal Studio Singapore. Dragging a few manager hyungs with him.

Wonshik already locked himself in his hotel room. No doubt his equipment is already spread out and ready to go. Since they have been traveling so much, Wonshik has developed a skill of packing and unpacking his magic making devices in under 10 minutes. But that skill has not expanded to his actual packing though. Since he still forgot underwear and the likes, or he shopped too much that requires a team of expert wardrobe noonas to pack his suitcase, sometimes involving them to sit on the lid just to close the bag.

Hyuk and Jaehwan along with many of their staff was interested in exploring the city, shopping and trying out the good food available.

Hakyeon had opted to stay in the hotel, when he asked the front office if they have spa in their facilities. And he was handed the extensive treatment menu.

So Hongbin just have to pick which group he wasn’t to join. Honestly he was tempted just to stay in the hotel, but he thought what a waste of good weather, because the moment he goes back to Seoul he will be freezing his socks off. So he decided he would tag along with Taekwoon-hyung, because he is not much of a shopper, and there’s not much he can’t already get in Seoul. That day he made sure to charge the battery of his camera and empty space in his memory card.

The smaller group that were to leave for the amusement park gathered bright and early the next day, their bellies already filled with hotel breakfast. They have agreed to leave the park a little early to meet with the city group and join them for an authentic Singaporean dinner, but they haven’t decided who will be in charge of dragging Wonshik out of his room.

The small group piled into a hired car and was on their way to the smaller island, and before too long, Hongbin can already see the sea view from his window. He promptly took out his camera and roll down the window. The wind that way was quite hard, and it blew inside the car.

“Ah, Binn-ah the wind is so strong, my hair is all messed up.” Taekwoon who was sitting on the other side of the car told camera wielding Hongbin. And when Hongbin turned around to see the older man, true enough his nearly blond hair was blown to all directions. Thus Hongbin turned his camera to inside the car and took a snap of Taekwoon.

“Hyung, your hair colour looks good here. The reflection of your green tint makes you look like a mermaid.” Hongbin said after he take a look at the result of his captured picture.

“Merman…”

“Out of all, that is what you corrected.”

“The hair color is getting really weird. Why does it fade so quickly?!”

“Because you wash it with just any shampoo, we already told you if you want the blue to last you need to carefully wash it. And bring some of the blue dye to touch up. But as always you don’t listen, and you wash your hair with the hottest of water.”

“Boooo, how dare you give me about colored hair, the last time you had any other color other than brown was almost 3 years ago.”

“And while I had that pink hair, it lasted and faded beautifully. Thank you very much.”

Taekwoon knew he had lost the argument this time around decided to throw his neck pillow to Hongbin’s head. At that Hogbin chuckled and continue to stare out the window, still not rolling up his window.

When they got there, they got the express pass and enjoyed the rides. Mostly it’s Hongbin and the hyungs on the scary rides and Taekwoon stayed down with their bags and munching on the different snacks they have there. The chance to scream his lungs out while riding the many rollercoasters available was very much liberating for the young man. Since the stress of the last few weeks had created a tight cage around him. He found it a little harder to breath. With the stress of preparing for a 3 city tour, prepping for a new drama to shoot and always brainstorming for concept and tunes for their upcoming comebacks is just the tip of the stress. He used this time to laugh himself silly, taking even sillier pictures of their small group in the amusement park and the many background.

Even then, there are a reoccurring phenomenon that caught his eyes and grabbed his attention. It’s the sight of babies, children, and young families on their free time together. His eyes keep on getting drawn to excited young faces in the lines as he passed them. Holding on to their mothers with small hands. Sitting on their father’s shoulders. Eating sweets. Spilling slushies. Getting excited over the many personification of fictional characters around them.

The view made Hongbin think about Red Bean. Lead him to imagine the things that will happen when once the baby got here, and the baby is actually going to grow into a child that can laugh, cry, feel sad, want to go to the park, wants to go on a holiday, want his/her father to go to school for parents day. Children that will spill drinks on clean floor, and come home covered in mud. As cute as it might look, it brought fear to his heart, fear of failure. Fear that he will not be able to be a good father for Red Bean. He is afraid that he would be too busy to be able to care for Red Bean properly. He knew that when it comes to daily things, he can hire a caretaker when he has schedules and that would be fine. But he knows when it comes to early education and character building, it has to be him that be present in the child’s life.

It seems that while Hongbin was deep in thoughts he had stopped talking and taking pictures. That was when he felt a hand clasped on his shoulder and a body sitting next to him. “Does it start to feel terrifying? Looking at those kids running around.” Yongjae sat next to himself down, one of the older managers that had been with VIXX for years, someone that knows the boys inside out. Because his jobs calls for him to deal with the good, the bad and the ugly of brother of 6. “That was how I felt when my wife was pregnant with our first child too. I felt as if I will never be ready to be a father. Every time I see kids in public I feel like they are a nuisance.

“But it gets better, trust me. As it’s getting closer to the due date, when you start seeing her belly expanding. Oh, when you first feel the kick of the baby and when the baby moves at night, when she was asleep. Those gets you excited.”

“Hyung, I don’t think I can get excited about those times. Her and I won’t be living together.” Hongbin replied.

“Then find a way to not miss too much of those, I swear it’s a life changing experience. Feeling your baby move inside the womb. Talk to her to always keep you in touch, ask her to hang out in a casual setting where the both of you can just enjoy the pregnancy. It will help you to feel calmer about the baby, and her too. It gave her comfort about the pregnancy too.”

“You think I can do it hyung?”

“To be honest, no one knows for sure. I can’t tell you that you will be a great father. But what I know is that you will try your damn hardest, because when you first see them, when you first carry them in your arms. It feels like you want to make the world a better place just for them. And I know you will be the one to fight for that better world, I have seen you become a man in last few years Kongs. You will try your damn hardest, and let’s just pray that it will be enough.” Yongjae gave his honest opinion. Though it didn’t brought the comfort Hongbin expected, he appreciate the honesty that came from the other man. It gave him a different kind of reassurance, something he can internalize and thought about.

“Kong-ah, just take a breath, for now, while you have time. Because after the baby is born, there’s no stopping. Just look forward to the good times you will get. Imagine one day coming to this park again, but you will be with Red Bean, the two of you making memories.”

Hearing those words, Hongbin looked up. He didn’t realized he had been looking at his shoes. And take in the view. Trying to imagine himself here, again, years to come with Red Bean in tow. Small sticky hands, pulling on his hair to not fall from his shoulders, laughing when Red Bean saw the blown bubble, small feet running around the decorated floor.

For the first time, all fear faded for a while. Hongbin was excited to get to know Red Bean.